₦airaland Forum

damosade:
Get them a nanny and go find your life. Time is running.

Most nannies or care givers are not to be trusted... Haven't you heard of a story that happened in Edo or...can't really remember the state where the care giver smashed one grandma's head against the wall, took all her gold and valuables and japa, he was later arrested sha... Some people are devil in human form, so the idea of nanny is a no no...


@Op, if the house is spacious maybe duplex, is a thing you can just take a room and parlor self con and start your family there... After all na man u be... However, if you have a relative who is young, you can place him or her to stay with them, enrol them in school by so doing you can move out and start your own family

damosade:
Get them a nanny and go find your life. Time is running.

Poor man thinking...selfish man thinking... OP , pls save ur money and stay with them ... u are still single, keep them company ...u don't know how many years they have left to live ..

pansophist:
Close-minded people (actually stupid people) uses insult, shaming tactics, and manipulation trying to make sense, instead of drop their foolish opinion and go.

Why is his parent not with their own parents?

All the thing you mentioned that his parent did for him, he will do it for his own children, this is the natural dynamic. It doesnt mean he wont show care to his parent, but care doesnt mean living with them permanently.

So if he has to be a businessman that travels globally, he should saddle his parents and be flying everywhere with them? Do you think at all?

I take very good care of my parents, and we do not live together. Care can be shown without 24/7 physical presence. I have kids as well, so I have reached that age.

Judging from the time you opened your nairaland account, I would have expect a level of decorum and manners when you write, but you have proven that stupid people also grow old

God bless you for this your response. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read that guy’s response to you.

yemmit90:
We are so selfish and ignorant in this part of the world. What is so bad in staying with someone aged parents that laboured endlessly to raise us? So, he can move to them when he was struggling but not when he is financially stable? That is the extent of our shallow thinking, and you keep wondering if it worth it to suffer to raise children these days.

An average European, Chinese or American live with their parents but here in Africa, we detest and don't have empathy toward one another. Why would anyone leave his aged parents when he/she is in position to stay with them. Loneliness at old age is out of this world, and it is a great privilege to have one of your children family around.

That is why every man should try to make money. The rich take up another wife that will give them young children who will keep the house running at old age.

He needs his life. They have lived theirs and he needs live his too. He can move to somewhere within 20kms from them.

SultanOfPuna:
I have lived alone in apartment from 2019 to 2023
Due to financial struggles i relocated to my parents house 2023 since then i'm still with them

Now its 2 years and i have gotten financially stable and solid.
I want to leave but my parents are old and they want me to be around them at this stage of their life.


My parents are really old
My siblings are all married except me. My siblings are in different states far away from my parents.
I'm the only one closer to them

I'm the one taking care of the house and making sure things are in order.
But deep down i want to leave the house and go create my own family.

If i leave them and move out i fear that things will be out of order and disorganised due to old age.
Unfortunately no younger sibling to help look after them.

What should i do?

If you are making your money around or within the area, I don't see any reason why you should leave. The only thing is to try and build a demacation to avoid ladies palava. I really don't know where this idea of leaving home just to prove grown starts from though. A friend stayed with his parents and married there until he built is own house at 38 or so. Dude and is wife were both doctors. I can site more example. The only reason I believe a man should move out is for job sourcing or if the home won't contain them maybe shared kitchen etc.


Try and stay by your folks, now is the time they need you most.


I also stayed with my mum till 29 when I had to start my business in another state. Now, my mum stays more with me and I'm planning converting her house in the other state to 3 unit of 2 bedroom flat for more income . Once married, my plan is to build a 2bedroom inside the same compound to avoid friction between my wife and precious jewel.

yemmit90:
We are so selfish and ignorant in this part of the world. What is so bad in staying with someone aged parents that laboured endlessly to raise us? So, he can move to them when he was struggling but not when he is financially stable? That is the extent of our shallow thinking, and you keep wondering if it worth it to suffer to raise children these days.

An average European, Chinese or American live with their parents but here in Africa, we detest and don't have empathy toward one another. Why would anyone leave his aged parents when he/she is in position to stay with them. Loneliness at old age is out of this world, and it is a great privilege to have one of your children family around.

That is why every man should try to make money. The rich take up another wife that will give them young children who will keep the house running at old age.

You're on point. A friend of mine in Texas told me he relocated to California to be with is aged parents. Dude had a good job in Texas though. In this part of the world, I think there is this idea that you're grown when you leave your parents for no just reason. The major folks who practise this act are internet fraudsters and those I call wannabes. I have lots of friends doing well who still stays in the family home and even married there as long as no friction between partner and parents.


Fun fact, parents need us more when they're grown than when they're agile.

Klass99:
Hmm.......what an interesting situation to be caught up in.

My own mother told me once that while they do not see me often, they feel my impact from miles away through the financial support I provide. Pansophist is not wrong when he says they should adopt children, in my case, we have a young girl of University age who lives with my parents she's in her 3rd year now. She's not a blood relative, I don't know how my mum found her but they've put her through primary and secondary school, and now she's almost through with University.

I am more quick to send that girl pocket money for her personal use, than I am, to send to some of my own blood relatives. Blood is not thicker than water for me when it comes that girl because the value she has provided and continues to provide, is far more than the value some blood relatives have provided.

My grandma is a widow,

An orphan was adopted for her. The family provides everything they need, and grandma has someone to run errand for her, and to guide.

The loneliness she feels has reduced, and she has someone that sees her as a mother. None of her grown up descendants will live with her, they only visit periodically, and offer financial and other kinds of supports.

According to yemmit30, I guess her kids are ingrates for facing their family and showing care to grandma in some other ways. Lol. They should leave their family, business and life just to prove that they are a good child, and go liv with mama in the village. Weird.

pansophist:
My grandma is a widow,

An orphan was adopted for her. The family provides everything they need, and grandma has someone to run errand for her, and to guide.

The loneliness she feels has reduced, and she has someone that sees her as a mother. None of her grown up descendants will live with her, they only visit periodically, and offer financial and other kinds of supports.

According to yemmit30, I guess her kids are ingrates for facing their family and showing care to grandma in some other ways. Lol. They should leave their family, business and life just to prove that they are a good child, and go liv with mama in the village. Weird.

One problem with our elders is that they do not have a sound retirement plan, or at least one without their children involved.

Karleb:
One problem with our elders is that they do not have a sound retirement plan, or at least one without their children involved.

Give an example of a good retirement plan that solves loneliness crisis common with older people.

pansophist:
Give an example of a good retirement plan that solves loneliness crisis common with older people.

You already provided that here. Adopting a child.

But they don't bother about it until theirs no other choice.

I wasn't talking about money because that's a story for another day.

Karleb:
You already provided that here. Adopting a child.

But they don't bother about it until theirs no other choice.

I wasn't talking about money because that's a story for another day.

Now I get you.

Because I cannot think of another way to solve loneliness crisis apart from adoption. In the west, they dump their old people in ''old people's home'', then import foreign care workers to look after them.

I have visited some of these old people homes and its heartbreaking to see how they crave so much human interactions. Like they can pay you just to talk to them.

I was watching a documentary where in Australia, they are using chickens to keep these old people company, many of which were even millionaires.

Some live with lots of pets, and sadly, many die in their house and it can take months before they were discovered dead.

Old age sincerely freak the shit out of me. It also makes me so humble because after all these gra gra, your money cant save you from the lonliness and agony that come with it.

But for sure if I get to that age, I will surely adopt children, and enjoy the natural balance that comes with parenthood and children.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHBTmBsxshM

Originalsly:
If you leave your elderly parents ... do you really believe you'll sleep peacefully at nights? Your conscience will haunt you. At 37 you're now wanting to start a family. Have you got a gf as yet?... one you've short listed?.If yes...then you should be bringing her home to meet your parents....and be hanging out with you at home . This will be an opportunity to find out more about her ...if she's helpful in the home ..how she relates to her elders...is she respectful? ... is she caring ? ...would she be willing to help out when you're not around? If you leave ..your in parents will feel abandoned....and that will affect their health. Your parents...your choice.

Or you ordering for a bot or househelp?
Methinks it's both.
Because, even when she does all that, you will come out to say she does them to impress you and your old folks so that you will marry her.

arantess:
Hmmm

Honestly I have never reasoned this out.
Thank you for this insight

Are you a man or a woman?

eniolorunfe:
God bless you for this your response. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read that guy’s response to you.

I concluded he was quoting the wrong person.

just a matter of years


very soon you will age, grow grey hairs and get a aching back pain


your children will abandon you and leave you to die, your grand children will never know you

Op, by adopting a child for them, do you mean adopting infants or adopting grown up children for your aged parents?

I don't know why nobody is seeing the "cruise"

SultanOfPuna:
I have lived alone in apartment from 2019 to 2023
Due to financial struggles i relocated to my parents house 2023 since then i'm still with them

Now its 2 years and i have gotten financially stable and solid.
I want to leave but my parents are old and they want me to be around them at this stage of their life.


My parents are really old
My siblings are all married except me. My siblings are in different states far away from my parents.
I'm the only one closer to them

I'm the one taking care of the house and making sure things are in order.
But deep down i want to leave the house and go create my own family.

If i leave them and move out i fear that things will be out of order and disorganised due to old age.
Unfortunately no younger sibling to help look after them.

What should i do?

What are the exact age of your parents?
What are their ailments?
Do they have dementia?
Are they able to take care of themselves?
Do they require someone to cook, clean, bathe, dress, and feed them?
How far did you plan to move away?
If you plan to stay reasonably close, you can always go check on your parents on your days off.

My ex will be 83-years old in a few weeks and he lives independently in his own home and drives himself anywhere he wants to go.
The kids goes by the house every once in awhile to make sure everything is ok.
They have a calling routine to check up on him.
If the yard need to be cut arrangements have been made for someone to go cut the grass.

If your parents are still able bodied, encourage them to keep their independence and to get out and fellowship with others.
Sitting in the house all the time takes something away from the human spirit.
Encourage them to get out every other day or every two days to help keep their mental sharpness.

I don't know how things are done in your part of the world, but as a personal care provider, I constantly push my patients to remain as independent as possible.
If they're able to go places, I'm constantly asking them if they're going out for the day.
I have a patient who was on a breathing tube last year.
When he was released from the hospital, two days later I was encouraging him to go visit his friends.

My goal is to keep my patients on this side of the dirt.
Being dead is a great inconvenience to me.
And I hate being inconvenienced.

Step back and evaluate the whole situation with your parents.
Sit down and discuss reasonable and doable options with them.
If they are still independent, establish a doable plan should they need a personal care provider.
At the end of the day, your parents will be making some tough decisions regarding their personal care.
Wishing you success and happiness.

SisterAnn:
Are you a man or a woman?

I am

Thank you for sharing something this personal — your thoughtfulness and sense of responsibility are clear in every word. You're caught in a very human tension: between duty and desire, family and self, stability and growth.

Let me be honest with you, from both a practical and emotional perspective:

💬 The Truth Is: Both Sides Matter Deeply
On one hand, your parents are aging and you are currently their closest support system. They likely feel more secure just knowing you’re around — even if you don’t do everything yourself.

On the other hand, you’re a grown man with your own dreams, and it’s completely natural and necessary to want to move on — to build your own life, relationship, and legacy.

This is not selfishness. This is life unfolding. It’s not “either them or you” — the goal is to find a balance.

🧩 Let’s Break It Down:
1. You Deserve to Move Forward
You’ve worked hard, become financially stable, and now want to build your own family. That’s not just a wish — it’s a vital life stage. Suppressing that desire too long can lead to frustration, regret, or even resentment. You’re not just living for your parents — you are also allowed to live for yourself.

2. Your Parents’ Needs Are Real Too
Yes, they are old. Yes, they depend on you. And yes, things may become chaotic if you just disappear. But that doesn’t mean you must put your life permanently on hold. What they need is support — not your entire presence 24/7.

💡 Practical Steps Forward
Instead of viewing this as a “stay or leave” decision, build a gradual and supportive transition plan:

✅ 1. Talk to Your Parents
Have a gentle but honest conversation. Reassure them of your love and commitment to their well-being — even if you’re not physically living with them.

✅ 2. Stay Close By (If Possible)
Can you move out but remain within the same city or neighborhood? This keeps you close enough to help and check in regularly, while still giving you the space to build your own life.

✅ 3. Hire or Assign Help
If finances allow, hire a trusted caregiver — even if it’s for a few hours daily or weekly. Alternatively, see if a trusted neighbor, church/community member, or even a rotating sibling visit schedule can help reduce the burden.

✅ 4. Use Technology
Set up security cameras, smart home devices, or medication reminders. Regular video calls can help them feel your presence. Technology can bridge part of the gap when you’re not there.

✅ 5. Build a Routine of Support
Create a routine: grocery runs, weekend check-ins, house maintenance, etc. This provides them with structure and reassurance even if you’re not living under the same roof.

❤️ Final Word: You’re Not Abandoning Them
You are not leaving them out of carelessness — you are growing, and that’s what they raised you for. The best gift you can give them is not just daily presence — it’s becoming fulfilled, strong, and able to care for them in deeper ways.

You can leave the house, but not leave their lives. There’s a way to be a good son and build your own life.

SultanOfPuna:
I have lived alone in apartment from 2019 to 2023
Due to financial struggles i relocated to my parents house 2023 since then i'm still with them

Now its 2 years and i have gotten financially stable and solid.
I want to leave but my parents are old and they want me to be around them at this stage of their life.


My parents are really old
My siblings are all married except me. My siblings are in different states far away from my parents.
I'm the only one closer to them

I'm the one taking care of the house and making sure things are in order.
But deep down i want to leave the house and go create my own family.

If i leave them and move out i fear that things will be out of order and disorganised due to old age.
Unfortunately no younger sibling to help look after them.

What should i do?

Klass99:
I think you have a good point but Pansophist also made some valid points, your response and reaction to him wasn't necessary.

Let's try and debate the issue sensibly and in a civil manner.

1. The difference between parents and children is that, parents made a choice to have children and that choice comes with responsibilities and obligations some of which you listed above. Children on the other hand didn't make a choice to come into this world, to have parents or to have the sort of situation OP is in thrust upon them. As children we try to make the best of it, by doing good, doing right and doing well by our parents.

2. It is a natural course of life that children will grow up one day and leave home. This is a normal and old practice, even the bible talks about a man leaving his parents to cleave to his wife. We leave the nest to build our lives and live out our dreams or purpose, most times that means physically parting from parents and leaving them behind.

3. Parents and children were never meant to be together until death do them part. That is an exclusive reserve of married couples. The OP"s parents are the ones who should be together till death does them part. I understand the sentiment you expressed about parents being old, doing things for us and wanting us around in old age, but I think what most of them truly need is companionship.

4. It can be companionship from one another as a couple, from their friends, church community, or a group of people with same interests, etc. It must not necessarily be from the physical presence of their children. This is one of the reasons why I believe companionship is more important in marriage than children. I also don't like this idea we have of birthing kids so they can look after us in old age. It creates scenarios like the one OP is in now and emotional blackmail as well.

5. I cannot relate to the desire or need, to bring non-existent people into existence, just so they can take care of us in old age. It is a lot work if you ask me, because the work you will do for those children before you reach old age, will be more than the work they'll do for you in return. And if they are children who refuse to catch sense, premium heartache and pain awaits you in old age.

6. So, yes, while parents fed us and took care of us, it was their responsibility and duty to do so, as a matter of the choice they made to bring us into this world. While we also have a duty to do right by them as godly and sensible children, we can do that without necessarily living with them.

My own mother told me once that while they do not see me often they feel my impact from miles away through the financial support I provide. Pansophist is not wrong when he says they should adopt children, in my case, we have a young girl of University age who lives with my parents.

She's in her 3rd year now, she's not a blood relative, I don't know how or where my mum found her but they've put her through primary and secondary school, now she's almost through with University.

I am more quick to send that girl pocket money for her personal use, than I am, to send to some of my own blood relatives. Blood is not thicker than water for me when it comes to that girl, the value she has provided and continues to provide exceeds the value some blood relatives have provided.

7 kisses to you, Klass.

No. 4 resonates with me very well.

AfahaAbia:
You see why I tell people never to rush to marry. Now see what your aged parents are going through. If they had married a little later at least there would have been 2 young kids at home to take care of them. I always say it if you have children early you will still be lonely in old age because they will all be grown and then focus on their immediate family leaving you all alone only talking to them on phone. But if you have your children later in life at least maybe the first two children will be be grown and out of the house but you will still have some younger children at home to run errands for you

Chai. They can still give birth in their old age.

pansophist:
Your parents should adopt kids, thats the natural cure to this dilemma.

Children needs guidance, provisions and protection, and your parents needs their presence, and to see life through the eyes of children once again.

Also, the power dynamic between you and your parents have changed, unlike when you were a child. Right now, your parents have authority over you but without responsibilities, which is unfair to you.

For example, if they want to bath with hot water, prefer their eba extra soft, and maybe you have to clean their apartment, these are responsibilities on you, but you cant tell them what to do, or even scold them. You have no authority.

With children, your parents will have authorities and responsibilities, which is a balance. E.g, they kids do domestic work, and your parents wont feel lonely. But the trade off is that your parents have responsibilities towards the children.

I see that you have a good family that is united, and you care for your parents, this is very good, but consider what I said. Its an old practice that is solved by adopting kids, or men going into polygamy to birth more children.

are you still redpill?

Klass99:
I think you have a good point but Pans.ophist also made some valid points, your response and reaction to him wasn't necessary.

Let's try and debate the issue sensibly and in a civil manner.

1. The difference between parents and children is that, parents made a choice to have children and that choice comes with responsibilities and obligations some of which you listed above. Children on the other hand didn't make a choice to come into this world, to have parents or to have the sort of situation OP is in thrust upon them. As children we try to make the best of it, by doing good, doing right and doing well by our parents.

2. It is a natural course of life that children will grow up one day and leave home. This is a normal and old practice, even the bible talks about a man leaving his parents to cleave to his wife. We leave the nest to build our lives and live out our dreams or purpose, most times that means physically parting from parents and leaving them behind.

3. Parents and children were never meant to be together until death do them part. That is an exclusive reserve of married couples. The OP"s parents are the ones who should be together till death does them part. I understand the sentiment you expressed about parents being old, doing things for us and wanting us around in old age, but I think what most of them truly need is companionship.

4. It can be companionship from one another as a couple, from their friends, church community, or a group of people with same interests, etc. It must not necessarily be from the physical presence of their children. This is one of the reasons why I believe companionship is more important in marriage than children. I also don't like this idea we have of birthing kids so they can look after us in old age. It creates scenarios like the one OP is in now and emotional blackmail as well.

5. I cannot relate to the desire or need, to bring non-existent people into existence, just so they can take care of us in old age. It is a lot work if you ask me, because the work you will do for those children before you reach old age, will be more than the work they'll do for you in return. And if they are children who refuse to catch sense, premium heartache and pain awaits you in old age.

6. So, yes, while parents fed us and took care of us, it was their responsibility and duty to do so, as a matter of the choice they made to bring us into this world. While we also have a duty to do right by them as godly and sensible children, we can do that without necessarily living with them.

My own mother told me once that while they do not see me often they feel my impact from miles away through the financial support I provide. Pansop.hist is not wrong when he says they should adopt children, in my case, we have a young girl of University age who lives with my parents.

She's in her 3rd year now, she's not a blood relative, I don't know how or where my mum found her but they've put her through primary and secondary school, now she's almost through with University.

I am more quick to send that girl pocket money for her personal use, than I am, to send to some of my own blood relatives. Blood is not thicker than water for me when it comes to that girl, the value she has provided and continues to provide exceeds the value some blood relatives have provided.

@Klass99,

Succinctly stated.

I like the FACT that you emphasized on civility and topical focus (to that poster you quoted) while having any convo right there. Second, you further gave insightful feedbacks and perspectives here as well. Those are organic and classic thoughts from the "Klass99" I've always known."

For me, I already have the required funds set aside for when I hit 60 and ABOVE which is the beginning of the senior citizens' years of existence. We MUST NOT depend totally on our children to survive in old age. In a WORSE case scenario, what if they pass on from sudden illness or sudden plane or helicopter crashes while flying within Nigeria or internationally BEFORE you pass on at 95 years of age? This is where ALL of us need to have contingency plans (Plans A, B, and C) for our senior citizen years.

Last but not least, you ain't gonna leave here like you earlier stated on that Seun's thread. "Objection sustained!" *Drops the gavel*

Enjoy your day.

Ciao.

Klass99:
I think you have a good point but Pansophist also made some valid points, your response and reaction to him wasn't necessary.

Let's try and debate the issue sensibly and in a civil manner.

1. The difference between parents and children is that, parents made a choice to have children and that choice comes with responsibilities and obligations some of which you listed above. Children on the other hand didn't make a choice to come into this world, to have parents or to have the sort of situation OP is in thrust upon them. As children we try to make the best of it, by doing good, doing right and doing well by our parents.

2. It is a natural course of life that children will grow up one day and leave home. This is a normal and old practice, even the bible talks about a man leaving his parents to cleave to his wife. We leave the nest to build our lives and live out our dreams or purpose, most times that means physically parting from parents and leaving them behind.

3. Parents and children were never meant to be together until death do them part. That is an exclusive reserve of married couples. The OP"s parents are the ones who should be together till death does them part. I understand the sentiment you expressed about parents being old, doing things for us and wanting us around in old age, but I think what most of them truly need is companionship.

4. It can be companionship from one another as a couple, from their friends, church community, or a group of people with same interests, etc. It must not necessarily be from the physical presence of their children. This is one of the reasons why I believe companionship is more important in marriage than children. I also don't like this idea we have of birthing kids so they can look after us in old age. It creates scenarios like the one OP is in now and emotional blackmail as well.

5. I cannot relate to the desire or need, to bring non-existent people into existence, just so they can take care of us in old age. It is a lot work if you ask me, because the work you will do for those children before you reach old age, will be more than the work they'll do for you in return. And if they are children who refuse to catch sense, premium heartache and pain awaits you in old age.

6. So, yes, while parents fed us and took care of us, it was their responsibility and duty to do so, as a matter of the choice they made to bring us into this world. While we also have a duty to do right by them as godly and sensible children, we can do that without necessarily living with them.

My own mother told me once that while they do not see me often they feel my impact from miles away through the financial support I provide. Pansophist is not wrong when he says they should adopt children, in my case, we have a young girl of University age who lives with my parents.

She's in her 3rd year now, she's not a blood relative, I don't know how or where my mum found her but they've put her through primary and secondary school, now she's almost through with University.

I am more quick to send that girl pocket money for her personal use, than I am, to send to some of my own blood relatives. Blood is not thicker than water for me when it comes to that girl, the value she has provided and continues to provide exceeds the value some blood relatives have provided.

madam, when are you getting married

SultanOfPuna:
I have lived alone in apartment from 2019 to 2023
Due to financial struggles i relocated to my parents house 2023 since then i'm still with them

Now its 2 years and i have gotten financially stable and solid.

I want to leave but my parents are old and they want me to be around them at this stage of their life.


My parents are really old
My siblings are all married except me. My siblings are in different states far away from my parents. I'm the only one closer to them

I'm the one taking care of the house and making sure things are in order.
But deep down i want to leave the house and go create my own family.

If i leave them and move out i fear that things will be out of order and disorganised due to old age.

Unfortunately no younger sibling to help look after them.

What should i do?

I must commend you for your thoughtfulness towards the welfare of your very old parents among all your siblings who you say are married and live in different states. They MUST have been really fantastic parents to you despite the usual minor quarrels we sometimes had with our parents, especially our mothers, and many of them still remained lovable folks.

I have a father who is an early octogenarian so what you wrote resonates with me.

Based off of what you stated in your second post about a nanny maltreating and poisoning an elderly woman, I will suggest that YOU RENT a house and/or BUILD your house near where your senior citizen parents live so that you can ALWAYS see them at least once or twice weekly and have more freedom for your own life.

Second, getting to do a major background check on every nanny is VERY important and get their biological family details including those of their guarantors. Take them to the Police HQ to profile them and their mobile phone numbers for added security since the Nigerian Police offers such services. With that, domestic staff will be less likely to steal or harm you.

Some of the Nanny and domestic staff recruitment agencies in Nigeria have over the years recruited confirmed kidnappers and criminals who went on to kidnap the kids of their employers, poison, and outrightly bring armed robbers into the houses of their employers. So due diligence is key.

NO matter what it's always good to have a Plan B or C in life.

Cheers.

Whenever I see threads like this, I think of Seyi Tinubu and his father. Seyi is married with children, by the way. The same applies to Kiddwaya and his father, among others.

I believe the struggles and challenges of this world have imposed certain rules and cultures on us. Who made the rule that we must run away from our parents when no one is truly pursuing us.

May God continue to bless and provide for us to change these dynamics. It is well.

pansophist:
Give an example of a good retirement plan that solves loneliness crisis common with older people.

Apart from what you’ve mentioned, there’s no other way. Money can’t solve anything without real people.

folake4u:
7 kisses to you, Klass.
No. 4 resonates with me very well.

Mwaaahh , kisses to you too. How is the lawyer life going after law school? Why does No.4 resonate with you?

Konquest:
@Klass99,

For me, I already have the required funds set aside for when I hit 60 and ABOVE which is the beginning of the senior citizens' years of existence. We MUST NOT depend totally on our children to survive in old age.

Last but not least, you ain't gonna leave here like you earlier stated on that Seun's thread. "Objection sustained!" *Drops the gavel*

Enjoy your day.

Ciao.

I'm leaving as soon as Seun reactivates that option. The guy is too stubborn I even asked him to please deactivate my account from his end as a super moderator and he didn't which is why I am still here commenting. I have never seen this kind of stubborn human being.

Yesterday I was reading a foreign blog similar to NL (but far more civil/respectful) where users engage with each other in the comments section. One user shared this, I have five more weeks to work and then I am going to… retire. July looks like a fog bank to me. I have no idea what is going to happen or what I will do. It will be the first time in more than 40 years that I have not been working for money.I’m freaked out that I might have more than 40 years ahead of me not working for money! Words of wisdom for this transition?

He or she received 34 replies with helpful information that I learned from. It's not so much about having huge bucks to retire, it's more about finding something or anything that keeps our brains active, it's about hobbies or activities that allow for social interaction and engagement with others.

Sadly, we don't have that sort of thing in Naija for older/retired citizens so they turn to their adult children to mount pressure and in some cases emotional blackmail in a bid to solve the social isolation and loneliness they feel.

There were suggestions in that blog about volunteering at a food bank, joining a knitting class, signing up for local classes/programmes designed for senior citizens, etc. Things which made sense to do as a retiree but where you wan see that kind thing for Naija?

The last time I visited home my parents hardly went out because there was really no where to go to or a purpose for even going out like a knitting class, town hall meeting, etc. Their health challenges was likely a hindering factor too, in fact one of my siblings said there's nothing much going on in this town/city people are just growing old or dying, which was true.

Old age and retirement in Naija is rough sha. You can have shelter, food and money but a lack of social interaction and engaging activities to participate in, can still cause isolation and loneliness.

Klass99:
Mwaaahh , kisses to you too. How is the lawyer life going after law school? Why does No.4 resonate with you?

🥰🥰

Lawyer life nor easy but we keep pushing through. Thanks for asking.💜

Well personally, I believe in Marriage for companionship purpose. Procreation is secondary in my books.