₦airaland Forum

I write with Pains in my heart.
I wish to ask God why some certain events occur in life.
I have lots of questions to ask, but nobody to give me answers.

I describe as Selfish, inconsiderate and egoistical the decision of my mum to remarry.

So, I lost my lovely and caring dad six years ago. We had lived in Port Harcourt prior to his death. When we were traveling to the village, we packed all the little properties we had cos we were not going to return back to PH again since my mum would not be able to cater for myself and little siblings.
After the burial and funeral ceremony, we all stayed in the village. I mean a typical village where there's no good road, no electricity, no mobile network. I stayed for a few months, then left them to go squat with my friends in port Harcourt so I could hustle with my muscles and return back to sch at least because it had always been my dad's desire for all of us to go to sch, so I beat my chest and vowed that I would go to sch and graduate. Thank God, I'm done with sch now.

My current challenge now is my mum is in her mid forties and wants to remarry to a man in the village. She hasn't told me yet. But my paternal aunt called to inform me. I'm really worried because if she gets remarried, she will abandon my younger siblings who are there with her because she won't be allowed to take my siblings to her new husband's house as it is an abomination based on the customs and traditions of our place. If my siblings must live with her in that place, then they will have to start bearing the new husband's name as his children. Why ?

Also, as a male child, I'm not allowed to go visit here and eat or sleep over in her new house. If I do this, I might die. Why is this?

Based on reports, my grandfather(mum's dad) is the one mounting pressure on my mum to get married. I'm really worried about the whole situation because the ties between my mum and my siblings are about to be severed. Since my dad died, my mum has been living in her father's house instead of my dad's place. Though both places aren't far from each other. Its trekkable. I feel really hurt and betrayed, I can't even imagine my mum in the arms of another man. If I was stable in monetary and economic terms, I would have taken her out of that dungeon to come live with me, and also bring siblings along. I'm really pained as I type. Tears.. my dad died at age 47.

I wish u guys can beg my mum not to remarry please. What's the difference between me and someone from a Broken background?
Life is not fair to me and my siblings. Not fair at all. I know how I'm feeling right now.

Let me make it clear at this point that if her plans of remarrying goes through, I will dis-mother her. I'll cut all ties and destroy every bond that ever existed between herself and us the children.

File photo used for illustration

Your caption says, "2 years after your dad's demise". Your post says, "Your dad died 6 years ago". No coherence.

Chram:
So, I lost my lovely and caring dad six years ago.

Anyways, your mother is still young, and it is not wrong for her to remarry. There is no dishonour in her marrying another man since she is not a divorcee and nobody has accused her of being responsible for the death of her first husband. Between she marrying another man and sleeping around, which one do you prefer?

Blame your barbaric tradition, not your mother.

Chram:
My current challenge now is my mum is in her mid forties and wants to remarry to a man in the village. She hasn't told me yet. But my paternal aunt called to inform me. I'm really worried because if she gets remarried, she will abandon my younger siblings who are there with her because she won't be allowed to take my siblings to her new husband's house as it is an abomination based on the customs and traditions of our place. If my siblings must live with her in that place, then they will have to start bearing the new husband's name as his children. Why ?
Also, as a male child, I'm not allowed to go visit here and eat or sleep over in her new house. If I do this, I might die. Why is this?

Your major concerns should be on how to talk to the elders in your community to review the archaic laws and customs of your land.

Your grandfather has done well pushing his
daughter " your mom " to get another man. She needs to be happy too and move on. Her marriage vow/oath have broken so no point being single for the rest of her life.

As for your junior ones, you as the first born should try and bring in your late father relatives into this, let them pick up their responsibilities.

I wish your mom happy married life in advance.

madridguy:

Guy, this isn't funny at all

Whether coherence or not,I understood everything u have written here.

Now,as the first son,pick up ur phone and call ur mum and ask why she wants to tear up the family?

Explain to her why the marriage matter might destroy the bond that already exist in the family and that it may cause her more pain than favour.

Try to tell her was it this love she professed to ur father while he was alive and make her see ur reasons since u don't want her to remarry because of the problems associated with it.

For me,I dont know what to advice u on especially when a woman is in love...it is just like when u want to quench fire with Ogogoro.

madridguy:
Your major concerns should be on how to talk to the elders in your community to review the archaic laws and customs of your land.

Your grandfather has done well pushing her daughter " your mom " to get another man. She needs to be happy too and move on. Her marriage vow/oath have broken so no point being single for the rest of her life.

As for your junior ones, you as the first born should try and bring in your late father relatives into this, let them pick up their responsibilities.

I wish your mom happy married life in advance.

You're Harsh on me, honestly.

This looks like one of those fictitious stories composed solely for engagement and clout.

shesco:
This looks like one of those fictitious stories composed solely for engagement and clout.

I noticed u have nothing good to contribute here

Chram:
You're Harsh on me, honestly.

He's not harsh, just being honest with you. She's 45 years old according to your story. That means she's still very young and fertile. It's better than sleeping around in the community.

The woman has tried to wait for 6 years, so please allow her to be happy. If it was the other way round, your dad would have remarried in less than 2 years. I will suggest you confirm the man is not a native doctor/evil & genuinely wants her. Hopefully, God will use you to empower your siblings.

All the best

delugadou:
He's not harsh, just being honest with you. She's 45 years old according to your story. That means she's still very young and fertile. It's better than sleeping around in the community.

The woman has tried to wait for 6 years, so please allow her to be happy. If it was the other way round, your dad would have remarried in less than 2 years. I will suggest you confirm the man is not a native doctor/evil & genuinely wants her. Hopefully, God will use you to empower your siblings.

All the best

Amen. Thank you Sir. The man isn't a native doctor and not diabolical at all.

Abomination for you to visit. Abomination for your younger siblings to move in with her. Which village are you from? I seriously doubt your story. So for 6yrs, your mother just sat in her fathers house doing nothing, after having kids and being widowed?

I don't know why you want her to remain a widow for the rest of her life even after six years. Do you want her to die of loneliness?

Let her be, and don't hold any grudge against her based on her decision to remarry.

I don't understand you this selfish inconsiderate son. Do you want your mum to be sneaking around and start sleeping with men in the village?

Apart from children, she doesn't have any tier again with your late father. Till death do us path was the vow. After death, surviving party can go on with his or her life.

You shouldn't be angry your mum wants to remarry instead you should be more concerned about your siblings and start planning a better life for them.

Your mum is broke and you still want to deprive her of being loved again..nawa o

2mch:
Abomination for you to visit. Abomination for your younger siblings to move in with her. Which village are you from? I seriously doubt your story. So for 6yrs, your mother just sat in her fathers house doing nothing, after having kids and being widowed?

Pls avoid this thread if you have nothing good to say. Pls. Don't add to my anger

Chram:
Pls avoid this thread if you have nothing good to say. Pls. Don't add to my anger

Fake thread.

Chilipepper:
I don't understand you this selfish inconsiderate son. Do you want your mum to be sneaking around and start sleeping with men in the village?

Apart from children, she doesn't have any tier again with your late father. Till death do us path was the vow. After death, surviving party can go on with his or her life.

You shouldn't be angry your mum wants to remarry instead you should be more concerned about your siblings and start planning a better life for them.

Your mum is broke and you still want to deprive her of being loved again..nawa o

Its well

weslay:
I don't know why you want her to remain a widow for the rest of her life even after six years. Do you want her to die of loneliness?

Let her be, and don't hold any grudge against her based on her decision to remarry.

Okay Sir. Thank you

Chram:
I write with Pains in my heart.
I wish to ask God why some certain events occur in life.
I have lots of questions to ask, but nobody to give me answers.

I describe as Selfish, inconsiderate and egoistical the decision of my mum to remarry.

So, I lost my lovely and caring dad six years ago. We had lived in Port Harcourt prior to his death. When we were traveling to the village, we packed all the little properties we had cos we were not going to return back to PH again since my mum would not be able to cater for myself and little siblings.
After the burial and funeral ceremony, we all stayed in the village. I mean a typical village where there's no good road, no electricity, no mobile network. I stayed for a few months, then left them to go squat with my friends in port Harcourt so I could hustle with my muscles and return back to sch at least because it had always been my dad's desire for all of us to go to sch, so I beat my chest and vowed that I would go to sch and graduate. Thank God, I'm done with sch now.
My current challenge now is my mum is in her mid forties and wants to remarry to a man in the village. She hasn't told me yet. But my paternal aunt called to inform me. I'm really worried because if she gets remarried, she will abandon my younger siblings who are there with her because she won't be allowed to take my siblings to her new husband's house as it is an abomination based on the customs and traditions of our place. If my siblings must live with her in that place, then they will have to start bearing the new husband's name as his children. Why ?
Also, as a male child, I'm not allowed to go visit here and eat or sleep over in her new house. If I do this, I might die. Why is this?
Based on reports, my grandfather(mum's dad) is the one mounting pressure on my mum to get married. I'm really worried about the whole situation because the ties between my mum and my siblings are about to be severed. Since my dad died, my mum has been living in her father's house instead of my dad's place. Though both places aren't far from each other. Its trekkable. I feel really hurt and betrayed, I can't even imagine my mum in the arms of another man. If I was stable in monetary and economic terms, I would have taken her out of that dungeon to come live with me, and also bring siblings along. I'm really pained as I type. Tears.. my dad died at age 47.
I wish u guys can beg my mum not to remarry please. What's the difference between me and someone from a Broken background?
Life is not fair to me and my siblings. Not fair at all. I know how I'm feeling right now.
Let me make it clear at this point that if her plans of remarrying goes through, I will dis-mother her. I'll cut all ties and destroy every bond that ever existed between herself and us the children.

the earlier the better u realize u can only control how u live your life n not how others live theirs.

U are just so one sided in your thinking, u didn't even consider your mom.

She's still young n also have sexual needs but u don't care

She's still young n lonely, no one to call confidant but u don't care.

What if she starts sleeping around?

Between her sleeping around or getting married to someone which one do u prefer?

Factcheck0001:
the earlier the better u realize u can only control how u live your life n not how others live theirs.

U are just so one sided in your thinking, u didn't even consider your mom.

She's still young n also have sexual needs but u don't care

She's still young n lonely, no one to call confidant but u don't care.

What if she starts sleeping around?

Between her sleeping around or getting married to someone which one do u prefer?

Why can't she also consider the wellbeing of her children by waiting until we are old enough to at least handle ourselves?
Mothers are meant to make sacrifices

ibechris:
Whether coherence or not,I understood everything u have written here.

Now,as the first son,pick up ur phone and call ur mum and ask why she wants to tear up the family?

Explain to her why the marriage matter might destroy the bond that already exist in the family and that it may cause her more pain than favour.

Try to tell her was it this love she professed to ur father while he was alive and make her see ur reasons since u don't want her to remarry because of the problems associated with it.

For me,I dont know what to advice u on especially when a woman is in love...it is just like when u want to quench fire with Ogogoro.

so the mom should die lonely too right?

So the mom too shouldn't live her life cos d husband died right?

So the mom doesn't have sexual needs too right?

The best the op could do is to call his dad's family to take responsibility of his siblings cos the mother tried now, six good years of mourning her husband is enough

Chram:
Why can't she also consider the wellbeing of her children by waiting until we are old enough to at least handle ourselves?
Mothers are meant to make sacrifices

so she should pause her life so u can b happy right?

Small pikin still dey worry u, if only u know that only u can dictate how u live your life n u can't dictate for others


She has tried to mourn your father for 6 years, oga let her move on


If na she die your papa go don marry tey tey


Abi na she kill your papa ni?

Oga let that woman live her life, the best u could do is to rally your dad's family to cater for your siblings till u have d ability to take charge.

Anything less than that u will just embarrass yourself n mess yourself up badly cos your mom will still go on with planned action

Factcheck0001:
so she should pause her life so u can b happy right?

Small pikin still dey worry u, if only u know that only u can dictate how u live your life n u can't dictate for others


She has tried to mourn your father for 6 years, oga let her move on


If na she die your papa go don marry tey tey


Abi na she kill your papa ni?

Oga let that woman live her life, the best u could do is to rally your dad's family to cater for your siblings till u have d ability to take charge.

Anything less than that u will just embarrass yourself n mess yourself up badly cos your mom will still go on with planned action

I swear I won't forgive her ever. The battle line has been drawn.

Chram:
I swear I won't forgive her ever. The battle line has been drawn.

rubbish

Now I believe this your story is for engagement.

This your reply gave u out

Factcheck0001:
rubbish

Now I believe this your story is for engagement.

This your reply gave u out

Ok. Thank you. You're not in my shoes and you'll never understand. Its well

Chram:
➜... I describe as Selfish, inconsiderate and egoistical the decision of my mum to remarry.
➜... My current challenge now is my mum is in her mid forties and wants to remarry to a man in the village. She hasn't told me yet. But my paternal aunt called to inform me. I'm really worried because if she gets remarried, she will abandon my younger siblings who are there with her because she won't be allowed to take my siblings to her new husband's house as it is an abomination based on the customs and traditions of our place. If my siblings must live with her in that place, then they will have to start bearing the new husband's name as his children. Why ?
➜Also, as a male child, I'm not allowed to go visit here and eat or sleep over in her new house. If I do this, I might die. Why is this?
➜ Based on reports, my grandfather(mum's dad) is the one mounting pressure on my mum to get married. I'm really worried about the whole situation because the ties between my mum and my siblings are about to be severed. Since my dad died, my mum has been living in her father's house instead of my dad's place. Though both places aren't far from each other. Its trekkable. I feel really hurt and betrayed, I can't even imagine my mum in the arms of another man. If I was stable in monetary and economic terms, I would have taken her out of that dungeon to come live with me, and also bring siblings along. I'm really pained as I type. Tears.. my dad died at age 47.
➜I wish u guys can beg my mum not to remarry please. What's the difference between me and someone from a Broken background? Life is not fair to me and my siblings. Not fair at all. I know how I'm feeling right now. Let me make it clear at this point that if her plans of remarrying goes through, I will dis-mother her. I'll cut all ties and destroy every bond that ever existed between herself and us the children.

William Folorunsho Kumuyi remarried about a year after his first wife's demise. So, why do you describe your mother's plan to remarry, 6 years after your father had been lost, as selfish and egotistical?

2. Is your mother responsible for this tradition that keeps her from taking your siblings to her new husband's house or something? Is switching the last names of your siblings more evil than abandoning them because of your tradition?

3. Shouldn't you be heading straight to your traditional chief with these questions to ask why, and maybe even ask for a way out of the pact— assuming simply disavowing such silly traditions is not enough— altogether so you can be with your mother wherever she goes?

4. Your dad is dead, but you want your mum caged with the dead man for life, why?

5. Ah, I see! So, rather than disavow the silly traditional ideas which seem to be behind your many anxieties, you would rather cut ties with your own mother. Na wa oh! 🙄🙄🙄

All these boys testing their ability to create write-ups. Jump and pass any time I see this OP. I don mark am.

Rage bait?








Let the woman live her life!!!!

Chram:
I write with Pains in my heart.
I wish to ask God why some certain events occur in life.
I have lots of questions to ask, but nobody to give me answers.

I describe as Selfish, inconsiderate and egoistical the decision of my mum to remarry.

So, I lost my lovely and caring dad six years ago. We had lived in Port Harcourt prior to his death. When we were traveling to the village, we packed all the little properties we had cos we were not going to return back to PH again since my mum would not be able to cater for myself and little siblings.
After the burial and funeral ceremony, we all stayed in the village. I mean a typical village where there's no good road, no electricity, no mobile network. I stayed for a few months, then left them to go squat with my friends in port Harcourt so I could hustle with my muscles and return back to sch at least because it had always been my dad's desire for all of us to go to sch, so I beat my chest and vowed that I would go to sch and graduate. Thank God, I'm done with sch now.
My current challenge now is my mum is in her mid forties and wants to remarry to a man in the village. She hasn't told me yet. But my paternal aunt called to inform me. I'm really worried because if she gets remarried, she will abandon my younger siblings who are there with her because she won't be allowed to take my siblings to her new husband's house as it is an abomination based on the customs and traditions of our place. If my siblings must live with her in that place, then they will have to start bearing the new husband's name as his children. Why ?
Also, as a male child, I'm not allowed to go visit here and eat or sleep over in her new house. If I do this, I might die. Why is this?
Based on reports, my grandfather(mum's dad) is the one mounting pressure on my mum to get married. I'm really worried about the whole situation because the ties between my mum and my siblings are about to be severed. Since my dad died, my mum has been living in her father's house instead of my dad's place. Though both places aren't far from each other. Its trekkable. I feel really hurt and betrayed, I can't even imagine my mum in the arms of another man. If I was stable in monetary and economic terms, I would have taken her out of that dungeon to come live with me, and also bring siblings along. I'm really pained as I type. Tears.. my dad died at age 47.
I wish u guys can beg my mum not to remarry please. What's the difference between me and someone from a Broken background?
Life is not fair to me and my siblings. Not fair at all. I know how I'm feeling right now.
Let me make it clear at this point that if her plans of remarrying goes through, I will dis-mother her. I'll cut all ties and destroy every bond that ever existed between herself and us the children.

You are being selfish and inconsiderate. I do not think you have hit the age of maturity yet. Because if you have, you'd understand that your mother is a human being with her own biological needs and demands. Would you prefer you hear that your mum is sleeping around to satisfy her needs or she is properly housed with a man to call her own? When you grow to a certain age, you will understand.
Your best line of action is to see how your siblings will be taken care of while your mother marries a new man. It's the best course of action for her and all of you.
Leave your sentiments at the door.

Why does the thought of your mom living the rest of her life has a lonely woman doesn’t haunt you…
Six years is enough for a fertile woman to heal and move on…
Life is for the living,allow your mother live..
Tho I understand your pains

make ur mama nor knack?

Chram:
You're Harsh on me, honestly.

Them d tell you truth
You d talk of harsh

arzizhy:
You are being selfish and inconsiderate. I do not think you have hit the age of maturity yet. Because if you have, you'd understand that your mother is a human being with her own biological needs and demands. Would you prefer you hear that your mum is sleeping around to satisfy her needs or she is properly housed with a man to call her own? When you grow to a certain age, you will understand.
Your best line of action is to see how your siblings will be taken care of while your mother marries a new man. It's the best course of action for her and all of you.
Leave your sentiments at the door.

Hummm... Thanks for speaking senses into my head