₦airaland Forum

OboOlora:
make ur mama nor knack?

I believe u have a mother, so try to show some respect to other people's mother's if u actually have respect for yours

Chram:
✓ I believe u have a mother, so try to show some respect to other people's mother's if u actually have respect for yours

Who currently provides for you and your siblings? Your mother or your father's family?

Kobojunkie:
Who currently provides for you and your siblings? Your mother or your father's family?

I'm the one

Hello, your write up shows that you have little experience of the reality of life.

Your mum is young and her body must demand for love and touch. It is not her but the body system. Haven't you heard that "we cannot cheat nature"? Unless you prefer her to be having secret affairs.

The best I will advice you is to let her remarry, however, you can suggest or find a suitable man for her outside your village so that all those concerns of yours can be eliminated

I know you will be struggling deep down with fact that your mum will leave you people.and marry another man.

Please keep sentiments aside, let her be if that is what will give her peace. You have to man up and chart a new pathway for your siblings to follow. Groom, care and provide for them. Life has already placed you in an unfavourable position since you are the first male child. However, how you react to it defines who you are.

Chram:
✓ I'm the one

Your mother, by marrying, may finally be able to contribute something to her own children oe at least stop depending on you. Can you not see that?

In Africa, a widow who has nothing to do and does not earn any money or her own will likely remain a burden to her family or children until she remarries, finding herself a man to care for her. By doing that, she may also finally have some way of providing, even if a pittance towards the raising of her own children. Have you ever considered that?

You listen to your paternal relatives who don't provide for you and your siblings, but condemn your mother for trying to find a way forward. Why?

Chram

There is nothing wrong if your mum decides to remarry (Read 1 Corinthians 7:36, 39-40)

What is wrong are the customs of your people (Read 1 Timothy 5:8]

Please check 1 Timothy 5:8 again.

It's a cruel tradition you've got.

It mat be wise you sell your dads house and start a business with the money. You could buy a bus or a Tuktuk. Use it to sustain yourself and your siblings.

It's just a stepping stone.

grandstar:
Chram

There is nothing wrong if your mum decides to remarry (Read 1 Corinthians 7:36, 39-40)

What is wrong are the customs of your people (Read 1 Timothy 5:

I'm not even allowed by tradition to accept anything from the man especially in monetary terms

I don't think you can stop ur mum from marriage
I only blame ur tradition
My tradition isn't like that.

Rrchrd:
I don't think you can stop ur mum from marriage
I only blame ur tradition
My tradition isn't like that.

Its painful.
I can't accept any form of assistance from her husband as a male child. Even if there's a misunderstanding between them, I am not expected to come in and settle them

Chram:
➜Its painful. I can't accept any form of assistance from her husband as a male child. Even if there's a misunderstanding between them, I am not expected to come in and settle them

And rather than cut ties with the silly traditions, na your mama you see to attack? No be cowardice dem dey call that one?

She deserves her happiness and you shouldn't deny her of this. If she's found love in someone else, let her move on. The part I think you should be bothered about is the wickedness of the culture that wants to severe her from her children because she is married to him. You may want to ask her what her plans are for your siblings when she marries her new husband. The man should be able to take them in without changing their names.

Kobojunkie:
And rather than cut ties with the silly traditions, na your mama you see to attack? No be cowardice dem dey call that one?

I've heard u Sir. I won't cut ties with her anymore

GboyegaD:
She deserves her happiness and you shouldn't deny her of this. If she's found love in someone else, let her move on. The part I think you should be bothered about is the wickedness of the culture that wants to severe her from her children because she is married to him. You may want to ask her what her plans are for your siblings when she marries her new husband. The man should be able to take them in without changing their names.

Its fine. Thanks

My question is ,will u complain if ur dad is the one trying to remarry?

You wan make your mama dey commit fornication with random men or you want her to remain your mom and a wife. Choose wisely if you get sense

I understand how you feel but you have to think about your mother too.. you need to understand she's lonely. Cut her some slack jealous son

Chram:
I write with Pains in my heart.
I wish to ask God why some certain events occur in life.
I have lots of questions to ask, but nobody to give me answers.

I describe as Selfish, inconsiderate and egoistical the decision of my mum to remarry.

So, I lost my lovely and caring dad six years ago. We had lived in Port Harcourt prior to his death. When we were traveling to the village, we packed all the little properties we had cos we were not going to return back to PH again since my mum would not be able to cater for myself and little siblings.
After the burial and funeral ceremony, we all stayed in the village. I mean a typical village where there's no good road, no electricity, no mobile network. I stayed for a few months, then left them to go squat with my friends in port Harcourt so I could hustle with my muscles and return back to sch at least because it had always been my dad's desire for all of us to go to sch, so I beat my chest and vowed that I would go to sch and graduate. Thank God, I'm done with sch now.

My current challenge now is my mum is in her mid forties and wants to remarry to a man in the village. She hasn't told me yet. But my paternal aunt called to inform me. I'm really worried because if she gets remarried, she will abandon my younger siblings who are there with her because she won't be allowed to take my siblings to her new husband's house as it is an abomination based on the customs and traditions of our place. If my siblings must live with her in that place, then they will have to start bearing the new husband's name as his children. Why ?

Also, as a male child, I'm not allowed to go visit here and eat or sleep over in her new house. If I do this, I might die. Why is this?

Based on reports, my grandfather(mum's dad) is the one mounting pressure on my mum to get married. I'm really worried about the whole situation because the ties between my mum and my siblings are about to be severed. Since my dad died, my mum has been living in her father's house instead of my dad's place. Though both places aren't far from each other. Its trekkable. I feel really hurt and betrayed, I can't even imagine my mum in the arms of another man. If I was stable in monetary and economic terms, I would have taken her out of that dungeon to come live with me, and also bring siblings along. I'm really pained as I type. Tears.. my dad died at age 47.

I wish u guys can beg my mum not to remarry please. What's the difference between me and someone from a Broken background?
Life is not fair to me and my siblings. Not fair at all. I know how I'm feeling right now.

Let me make it clear at this point that if her plans of remarrying goes through, I will dis-mother her. I'll cut all ties and destroy every bond that ever existed between herself and us the children.

File photo used for illustration

She has every right to remarry if she wants and your opinion is not needed at all. She is your mum not your lover so stop been a baby and grow up. Your responsibility is towards your siblings to help them find their foot in life, so pray hard, work smart and make your late dad happy .

You people just manufacturing poverty up and down

Chram:
I write with Pains in my heart.
I wish to ask God why some certain events occur in life.
I have lots of questions to ask, but nobody to give me answers.

I describe as Selfish, inconsiderate and egoistical the decision of my mum to remarry.

So, I lost my lovely and caring dad six years ago. We had lived in Port Harcourt prior to his death. When we were traveling to the village, we packed all the little properties we had cos we were not going to return back to PH again since my mum would not be able to cater for myself and little siblings.
After the burial and funeral ceremony, we all stayed in the village. I mean a typical village where there's no good road, no electricity, no mobile network. I stayed for a few months, then left them to go squat with my friends in port Harcourt so I could hustle with my muscles and return back to sch at least because it had always been my dad's desire for all of us to go to sch, so I beat my chest and vowed that I would go to sch and graduate. Thank God, I'm done with sch now.

My current challenge now is my mum is in her mid forties and wants to remarry to a man in the village. She hasn't told me yet. But my paternal aunt called to inform me. I'm really worried because if she gets remarried, she will abandon my younger siblings who are there with her because she won't be allowed to take my siblings to her new husband's house as it is an abomination based on the customs and traditions of our place. If my siblings must live with her in that place, then they will have to start bearing the new husband's name as his children. Why ?

Also, as a male child, I'm not allowed to go visit here and eat or sleep over in her new house. If I do this, I might die. Why is this?

Based on reports, my grandfather(mum's dad) is the one mounting pressure on my mum to get married. I'm really worried about the whole situation because the ties between my mum and my siblings are about to be severed. Since my dad died, my mum has been living in her father's house instead of my dad's place. Though both places aren't far from each other. Its trekkable. I feel really hurt and betrayed, I can't even imagine my mum in the arms of another man. If I was stable in monetary and economic terms, I would have taken her out of that dungeon to come live with me, and also bring siblings along. I'm really pained as I type. Tears.. my dad died at age 47.

I wish u guys can beg my mum not to remarry please. What's the difference between me and someone from a Broken background?
Life is not fair to me and my siblings. Not fair at all. I know how I'm feeling right now.

Let me make it clear at this point that if her plans of remarrying goes through, I will dis-mother her. I'll cut all ties and destroy every bond that ever existed between herself and us the children.

File photo used for illustration

Clearly your grandfather wants your mom to be happy. So should you. The only problem is all these tradition this tradition that. Can't take her kids with her without forcing a name change? Not good. My suggestion: visit home and discuss your concerns with your mother and grandfather. The tradition might not be as rigid as you have heard.

zoghys:
She has every right to remarry if she wants and your opinion is not needed at all. She is your mum not your lover so stop been a baby and grow up. Your responsibility is towards your siblings to help them find their foot in life, so pray hard, work smart and make your late dad happy .

The mom has a responsibility towards those kids and must always consider them. It's her right to remarry and be happy, but she shouldn't throw her kids away. No, the kids are not the primary responsibility of their older brother.

Chram:
Based on reports, my grandfather(mum's dad) is the one mounting pressure on my mum to get married. I'm really worried about the whole situation because the ties between my mum and my siblings are about to be severed. Since my dad died, my mum has been living in her father's house instead of my dad's place. Though both places aren't far from each other. Its trekkable. I feel really hurt and betrayed, I can't even imagine my mum in the arms of another man. If I was stable in monetary and economic terms, I would have taken her out of that dungeon to come live with me, and also bring siblings along. I'm really pained as I type. Tears.. my dad died at age 47.

I wish u guys can beg my mum not to remarry please. What's the difference between me and someone from a Broken background?
Life is not fair to me and my siblings. Not fair at all. I know how I'm feeling right now.

Let me make it clear at this point that if her plans of remarrying goes through, I will dis-mother her. I'll cut all ties and destroy every bond that ever existed between herself and us the children.

File photo used for illustration

If your grandpa is the one advising your mother to get married again, don't you think it's because he wants his daughter to be happy again?

How old are you by the way? If you're 21 and above, you shouldn't be insisting on your mother remaining single in her 40s, you don't know the loneliness she's battling and her father might know other things you don't know. 6 years is a long time to mourn someone and I think your mom tried in that regard.

My advice for you is to not judge your mom. Talk to your grandpa and ask why he wants his daughter to get married and learn from his wisdom.

Fictional story.

Lovely decision from her. Greet her for me Mr Chram .. is she beautiful ?

GboyegaD:
She deserves her happiness and you shouldn't deny her of this. If she's found love in someone else, let her move on. The part I think you should be bothered about is the wickedness of the culture that wants to severe her from her children because she is married to him. You may want to ask her what her plans are for your siblings when she marries her new husband. The man should be able to take them in without changing their names.

He should.

2mch:
Abomination for you to visit. Abomination for your younger siblings to move in with her. Which village are you from? I seriously doubt your story. So for 6yrs, your mother just sat in her fathers house doing nothing, after having kids and being widowed?

There are some horrible cultures in Nigeria oooo. It's most like a valid submission o.

Chram:
I write with Pains in my heart.
I wish to ask God why some certain events occur in life.
I have lots of questions to ask, but nobody to give me answers.

I describe as Selfish, inconsiderate and egoistical the decision of my mum to remarry.

So, I lost my lovely and caring dad six years ago. We had lived in Port Harcourt prior to his death. When we were traveling to the village, we packed all the little properties we had cos we were not going to return back to PH again since my mum would not be able to cater for myself and little siblings.
After the burial and funeral ceremony, we all stayed in the village. I mean a typical village where there's no good road, no electricity, no mobile network. I stayed for a few months, then left them to go squat with my friends in port Harcourt so I could hustle with my muscles and return back to sch at least because it had always been my dad's desire for all of us to go to sch, so I beat my chest and vowed that I would go to sch and graduate. Thank God, I'm done with sch now.

My current challenge now is my mum is in her mid forties and wants to remarry to a man in the village. She hasn't told me yet. But my paternal aunt called to inform me. I'm really worried because if she gets remarried, she will abandon my younger siblings who are there with her because she won't be allowed to take my siblings to her new husband's house as it is an abomination based on the customs and traditions of our place. If my siblings must live with her in that place, then they will have to start bearing the new husband's name as his children. Why ?

Also, as a male child, I'm not allowed to go visit here and eat or sleep over in her new house. If I do this, I might die. Why is this?

Based on reports, my grandfather(mum's dad) is the one mounting pressure on my mum to get married. I'm really worried about the whole situation because the ties between my mum and my siblings are about to be severed. Since my dad died, my mum has been living in her father's house instead of my dad's place. Though both places aren't far from each other. Its trekkable. I feel really hurt and betrayed, I can't even imagine my mum in the arms of another man. If I was stable in monetary and economic terms, I would have taken her out of that dungeon to come live with me, and also bring siblings along. I'm really pained as I type. Tears.. my dad died at age 47.

I wish u guys can beg my mum not to remarry please. What's the difference between me and someone from a Broken background?
Life is not fair to me and my siblings. Not fair at all. I know how I'm feeling right now.

Let me make it clear at this point that if her plans of remarrying goes through, I will dis-mother her. I'll cut all ties and destroy every bond that ever existed between herself and us the children.

File photo used for illustration

she has right all right to remarry is biblical

To God be the glory for everything.
May the soul of your father rest in perfect peace.
Let your mum remarry.
Allow her to feel loved again.
If your tradition does not allow the children of her early marriage to be with her in the new husband house, it is what it is.
The situation is not too bad, there are potential options.
Let us take it up like this, your mum definitely will not want to discard her children because of her new husband.
If the new man is in love with you mum, he will not want her to do away with her children from her early marriage.
Therefore the two love birds must have a certain arrangement to carry the children along.

You, on the other side.
What is the relationship between you and your paternal lineage?
Work on relationship with your family.
I also pray for divine intervention for you and your siblings.

Chram:
I write with Pains in my heart.
I wish to ask God why some certain events occur in life.
I have lots of questions to ask, but nobody to give me answers.

I describe as Selfish, inconsiderate and egoistical the decision of my mum to remarry.

So, I lost my lovely and caring dad six years ago. We had lived in Port Harcourt prior to his death. When we were traveling to the village, we packed all the little properties we had cos we were not going to return back to PH again since my mum would not be able to cater for myself and little siblings.
After the burial and funeral ceremony, we all stayed in the village. I mean a typical village where there's no good road, no electricity, no mobile network. I stayed for a few months, then left them to go squat with my friends in port Harcourt so I could hustle with my muscles and return back to sch at least because it had always been my dad's desire for all of us to go to sch, so I beat my chest and vowed that I would go to sch and graduate. Thank God, I'm done with sch now.

My current challenge now is my mum is in her mid forties and wants to remarry to a man in the village. She hasn't told me yet. But my paternal aunt called to inform me. I'm really worried because if she gets remarried, she will abandon my younger siblings who are there with her because she won't be allowed to take my siblings to her new husband's house as it is an abomination based on the customs and traditions of our place. If my siblings must live with her in that place, then they will have to start bearing the new husband's name as his children. Why ?

Also, as a male child, I'm not allowed to go visit here and eat or sleep over in her new house. If I do this, I might die. Why is this?

Based on reports, my grandfather(mum's dad) is the one mounting pressure on my mum to get married. I'm really worried about the whole situation because the ties between my mum and my siblings are about to be severed. Since my dad died, my mum has been living in her father's house instead of my dad's place. Though both places aren't far from each other. Its trekkable. I feel really hurt and betrayed, I can't even imagine my mum in the arms of another man. If I was stable in monetary and economic terms, I would have taken her out of that dungeon to come live with me, and also bring siblings along. I'm really pained as I type. Tears.. my dad died at age 47.

I wish u guys can beg my mum not to remarry please. What's the difference between me and someone from a Broken background?
Life is not fair to me and my siblings. Not fair at all. I know how I'm feeling right now.

Let me make it clear at this point that if her plans of remarrying goes through, I will dis-mother her. I'll cut all ties and destroy every bond that ever existed between herself and us the children.

File photo used for illustration

Dear Chram,
Expressing your hurt and displeasure is allowed as human ,rather than enduring in silence .

If the story stated above is INDEED true.
I will suggest that you allowed your woman to remarry ..
Reasons are :

a. Is better she remarry than to stay alone for her mental health and well being ,if you understand what I mean.

b. No remarried sensible woman will never throw her children away rather there might be a little disconnection from them.

Your role is to stand up and guide your younger siblings in having a meeting with your mum ,talk ,argue and agree on basic issues on this and make decisions about the future

c. Or you bring her out of her father house to the city where the transportation back to the village is farther and expensive , set her up in a profitable business , chat with her daily ( like your girlfriend) and discuss as one family ,this will reduce the chances of remarrying .
In all , women are wired differently than the men ..
So think and act wisely , do not cut ties with her you might regret the decision.

Chram:
I swear I won't forgive her ever. The battle line has been drawn.

reduce dat stuff u r puffing