₦airaland Forum

His visa is fake. He purchased it and we all know visas are not for sale in any country.

Flexymarketing:
On what ground is he gonna be deported ?

Front page ,this is a lamentation of a lover whose bf is a usurper

I’m not from this continent. & my job is remote, so it doesn’t matter where I live

Flexymarketing:
Are you from Ghana and if I may ask,what do you do that makes you able to get same job so fast when you switched countries ?

NjaFoodie:
I also reported his other unscrupulous activities that he does to get money.

Dating a fraudster in a lot of cases never ends well because the tool of their trade with which they make money is lies and after lying for a long time, they forget how to speak the truth as lying becomes second nature to them - so, it's no suprise that he repeatedly lied to you.

You’re absolutely correct. TBH, I did not know all his $$ doings until I moved to Nigeria already. He hid ALOT from me before I moved to Nigeria, including the fact that he did not want a full committed relationship, so he told me many many lies and future faked with no intentions of following through on any of it.
His lies have ruined my life even though of course eventually I will recover. He’s a devil on earth and he has to face his consequences.
Big big big lessons for me that I have learned and he’s going to learn one or a few too here shortly

Ilekokonit:
Dating a fraudster in a lot of cases never ends well because the tool of their trade with which they make money is lies and after lying for a long time, they forget how to speak the truth as lying becomes second nature to them - so, it's no suprise that he repeatedly lied to you.

None of this makes sense to me! You're not from Africa, but you came to Nigeria to follow a man to another African country because Nigerians can't get into western countries quickly (you both don't have enough money to afford a student visa for your home country), so you decided that he buys a visa for another African country (as a student) while he left you behind in Nigeria, then you followed him to this other African country, and he dumped you moved in with another girl

I know I can read English so why am I sooo confused

1 question! Why don't you go back to your country and cut your loss?

2. What if he retaliates and puts your life in danger?

3. You better go home after you do what you plan to do.

4. None of this makes sense to me.

Please someone help me understand this story!

1 question! Why don't you go back to your country and cut your loss?
I am considering this. I gave up everything I own, so I would be going back and starting from zero & my country is more expensive to live. I’m still deciding what to do tbh

2. What if he retaliates and puts your life in danger? I dare him. He will just make more problems for himself.
& for me, it’s worth the risk, he’s done too much to me.

3. You better go home after you do what you plan to do.

4. None of this makes sense to me.
Doesn’t need too, it’s not your life. I’m trying to make it make sense too. End of the day, I trusted someone that I knew 2.5 years and they ended up being a fake. He says he loves me but thats only to manipulate me I understand now. It’s just a whole shxt show.

Double0h7:
None of this makes sense to me! You're not from Africa, but you came to Nigeria to follow a man to another African country because Nigerians can't get into western countries quickly (you both don't have enough money to afford a student visa for your home country), so you decided that he buys a visa for another African country (as a student) while he left you behind in Nigeria, then you followed him to this other African country, and he dumped you moved in with another girl

I know I can read English so why am I sooo confused

1 question! Why don't you go back to your country and cut your loss?

2. What if he retaliates and puts your life in danger?

3. You better go home after you do what you plan to do.

4. None of this makes sense to me.

Please someone help me understand this story!

NjaFoodie:
1 question! Why don't you go back to your country and cut your loss?
I am considering this. I gave up everything I own, so I would be going back and starting from zero & my country is more expensive to live. I’m still deciding what to do tbh

2. What if he retaliates and puts your life in danger? I dare him. He will just make more problems for himself.
& for me, it’s worth the risk, he’s done too much to me.

3. You better go home after you do what you plan to do.

4. None of this makes sense to me.
Doesn’t need too, it’s not your life. I’m trying to make it make sense too. End of the day, I trusted someone that I knew 2.5 years and they ended up being a fake. He says he loves me but thats only to manipulate me I understand now. It’s just a whole shxt show.

Girl, absolutely no one will pickup your life for you except yourself. Because what is even going on with you sef? 'it doesn't make sense to you'
Excuse you? What does that even mean?
If you'd give up on yourself I would respect you, but you're neither here nor there, wallowing in self-pity, looking to justify what happened to you and what you're about to do or what you did.
Repeatedly going back to the same man everytime after tells me one thing about you “You don't learn from your experience."
You're too ashamed to go back home and build from scratch again, we get it. So build a new somewhere else and stop being such a doormat, ffs. Seek professional help if you need.

NjaFoodie:
I’m not from this continent. & my job is remote, so it doesn’t matter where I live

Okay,what’s the proof you are not from Africa?

Why do I need to lie? & give me a VALID reason why you need proof I’m not from this continent and I’ll snap a corner of my passport. Must be a valid reason not just being extra nosy.

Flexymarketing:
Okay,what’s the proof you are not from Africa?

NjaFoodie:
Why do I need to lie? & give me a VALID reason why you need proof I’m not from this continent and I’ll snap a corner of my passport. Must be a valid reason not just being extra nosy.

Anyone can get any country’s passport and claim they are from that country. I know when I chat with a foreigner. You are a Nigerian with the way you chat. Stop claiming what you are not. xx

I don’t care what you think. I’m def not a Nigerian in any way except for loving the country and the people.

Flexymarketing:
Anyone can get any country’s passport and claim they are from that country. I know when I chat with a foreigner. You are a Nigerian with the way you chat. Stop claiming what you are not. xx

NjaFoodie:
I don’t care what you think. I’m def not a Nigerian in any way except for loving the country and the people.

Hey, how are you feeling today?

I had to reflect on your story and you really are a woman scorned! They say hell has no fury like the one you're feeling. You absolutely have the right to deal with this man but please don't set the fire and burn down with it. Calm your emotions and deal with him rationally. Move out of this property before he gets deported. Secure yourself so you could watch him go down in a blaze from a distance. Remember that when we plan to take revenge often we dig two graves. I support your need to exact revenge but I don't want you to go down with him.

Can I ask, is he your first love?

What have you learnt from the experience.

What did you do wrong in this relationship to find yourself where you are today?

Thank you, I appreciate your concern and care.
I have planned to move from my place in a few days since it is just a month to month flat.
I have already told myself that if he tries to do something, then so be it. Well will just both flame out together. But like I said, I’m not even from this continent and where I’m from, he would dig himself a very Big hole if he decided to try and hurt me.
& No he’s def not my first love but the first man that I had such a deep connection with. That very much clouded my judgement and made me ignore and excuse things I shouldn’t have. I gave him my unconditional love and that’s the truth and he abused it and often treated me like a piece of trash side option. In between, he was really good to me to keep me attached.
I’ve learned some very big lessons. Biggest one I think is to love myself first. Just being honest. I don’t have anything to hide. I’m not a bad person, I just made a mistake and gave too much of my power away to someone who abused it.

I appreciate you and to answer your first question, I’m ok, a bit better each day. And I’m just trying to be optimistic and focus on myself. This has been difficult but I know I’ll push through.

Double0h7:
Hey, how are you feeling today?

I had to reflect on your story and you really are a woman scorned! They say hell has no fury like the one you're feeling. You absolutely have the right to deal with this man but please don't set the fire and burn down with it. Calm your emotions and deal with him rationally. Move out of this property before he gets deported. Secure yourself so you could watch him go down in a blaze from a distance. Remember that when we plan to take revenge often we dig two graves. I support your need to exact revenge but I don't want you to go down with him.

Can I ask, is he your first love?

What have you learnt from the experience.

What did you do wrong in this relationship to find yourself where you are today?

NjaFoodie:
Gosh I didn’t think anyone would want to know the backstory.
Well. I gave up my nice upper middle class life, beautiful flat, my furniture, my new car, my family, all the clothes, shoes and handbags a girl could want. I gave away alot and sold some. I took on a 2nd job for a year to save and prepare for the move, ended up saving equivalent of 20k usd. I left my own country to move to Nigeria after 2.5 years of long distance. We planned for me to move to him because you know it’s hard for a Nigerian to japa. We were to get married, stay in Nigeria a while then switch countries. Not long after I arrived he started acting weird, like ignoring me and just being very different than the previous years of long distance. & yes, I visited him 3 times that long distance time. When I relocated, It was to rebuild again with him for us.
We had some major issues adjusting to being together and I realized it was because he never really wanted a full relationship. He had always had situationships and this was his preference, even though he never said this. It was clear to me.
But I was stuck, I had already gotten rid of my whole life and relocated. So I hung on, we stayed in and out, while he breadbeumbed me to keep me attached and he went on to keep exploring other people while also entertaining me and telling me he loves me, he wants us to be a family etc but we needed to “heal” he kept saying. Basically giving me a bs excuse of why he could t commit to me.

That went on for 2 years, we’re both living separately but still in and out together, he’s still doing what he needed to do to give me “false hope”.
He went on vacation to another country, alone, to return in a month. After that month, he told me he was not coming back to Nigeria ever. So he left me in his country. I was of course devastated, almost killed myself tbh. And I lost probably 25 kg, so I was a skeleton. That was the lowest I’ve ever been in my life. A week or so later, I was investigating and saw he was in the new country boo’d up with a girl.
So we fought back and forth and that was it, we did not talk or anything for 4 months. He was blocked everywhere and I was in Nigeria alone.

After 4 months out of the blue, he sent me 5 million naira. Then a few weeks later, he sent another 3 million. He was still blocked. After that 2nd transfer of $$, we started communicating again via email then I unblocked him. He sent $$ out of guilt I later realized.
Long story short. He got me to go to the country he had Japa to and when I got here, we make up and said we’re re-starting with a clean slate, leave the past in the past, forgive and forget.


2 months went by, everything was great, perfect in fact.
Then one day he got a call at midnight feom a number with a pink bow, now name. I asked him who that was and no answer from him. So my antenna’s went up again.
He was storing one of his suitcases at my flat for whatever reason I can’t remember and when I saw that phone call and he was being secretive about it , I decided to open the suitcase just to “see”, nit thinking I would find anything.
To my horror, I found printed pictures of him and the girl that I caught him with while I was still in Nigeria. I asked him and he confessed that he moved to the new country and started a new relationship with her within the 2-3 weeks AND when I arrived to the new country and we were supposedly starting anew, fresh start, he was still seeing her, juggling and rotating us, essentially having 2 relationships going.

So again, I wa devastated, distraught, so many things I can’t even put into words. So I retreated again. This time for 2 months. I was again in a foreign country alone, he’s with the girl. I spent Xmas & new years alone.
Then after 2 months, he emailed me and begged me again.
Now mind you, I love this man with all of me, so it’s easy to be dumb stupid when it comes to him. Plus my being alone in a foreign country worked in his favour. I wanted him around but I was trying to maintain some dignity for myself.
So again, we got back together in February. We were good March, April and May. Then he got a new car, a new Mercedes, his dream car. Soon as I saw it, I knew what was coming next.
The next week, we had planned a road trip for Saturday. Saturday morning he called and said he had drank too much on Friday night and he was broke. So I sent him $$ and told him to rest, drink water and we can reschedule the road trip.

He came to my place that Monday-Wednesday and that’s the last time we saw each other.
I felt he was OFF again, his energy. So I investigated and saw that that Friday he went out, he had dm’d a girl on IG, for her an Airbnb for the weekend in the city, took her out to dinner, clubbing and whatever else. So that’s why he was broke and asking me for $$. Which is just low down dirty of him.
So I contacted the girl and told her he’s not single. She didn’t care. She preceded to brag to me how much $$ he spent on her.
Then I told all of his friends what he did becazue he told the girl I was a leech, lazy and crazy. She told me this.
Which I am none of those things, I work and make my own money and I never ask him for a penny.


Some sought back and forth via text becazue he wasn’t man enough to even pick his phone, for about 3 days we fought then just blocked him everywhere again.


So this is the 3rd time he had blindsided me after begging me tio come back and making all these promises.
Mind you, when we met, I was at the too of my
Game, I made good $$, had a good lifestyle and i helped him to elevate himself giving him $$ every month before I relocated. When we met he was washing clothes in a bucket, living in a tiny tiny studio flat and he had no car. Before long, with my help, he had a new iPhone, new MacBook, a car and he was on his way up.
And today, we have 100% switched places. I am the poor one, no car,no decent clothes, my flat is reddest and this is becazue I keep having to take
A month or two to recover from the shxt he does to me. So
The energy I would use to “build” was going to picking myself off the floor after he blindsided me.
Today he had a new Mercedes, all designer clothes, lived in a high rise in the city and he had $$ in his bank account. It’s like he did
Juju on me and sucked my life force and used it doe him. Becazue we are literally switched from what we were when we met.

So after some thought. I would normally just be the bigger person and walk away as I have done many times before. But this time, I feel I need to yeah him a hard lesson to not play with people and play with peoples life like he has done.
Mind you, I can’t even write everything he had done to me here but just know, I am severely traumatised from him, I’m nervous all the time, like a scared abused dog shaking in the corner.

And why should I just walk away and take months again to HEAL from him while he goes on with his life with this new person. I want him to feel how it feels to lose EVERyTHING like I have.

So I decided to report him and have him deported. Then we are even, I have nothing, he will lose everything and be where I’m at and feel what I feel.
I’ve never ever been in such poverty as I am today and it is because of him and his lies and manipulation.
I hope this makes gives an idea of my WHY.

I’m not a bad person. I’ve just reached the end of my rope of being abused repeatedly. I’ve been good to him despite how he’s treated me.

The truth is that you loved the easy life and the money he brought not him

Not true. I have always worked & kept my own self afloat. I never asked him for anything, when he gave, he gave on his own. I wasn’t being lavished like you think. He mostly gave me money out of guilt because he knew he wasn’t treating me right.
There was no “easy life”. I just loved him is all it was & he took advantage of that probably because he had never seen real love before, not even from his parents, so he didn’t value it.

ariesbull:
The truth is that you loved the easy life and the money he brought not him

NjaFoodie:
Why do I need to lie? & give me a VALID reason why you need proof I’m not from this continent and I’ll snap a corner of my passport. Must be a valid reason not just being extra nosy.

And why would you "snap a corner of my passport" to prove anything to anyone when most here know there's lots of people who do romance fraud scams, so have no reason to doubt you?

Do let me know when his ass gets deported so I can be glad for you please.

Flexymarketing:
Anyone can get any country’s passport and claim they are from that country.

Really? You wanna show us how please?

I'm asking because if anyone can as you claim, forget visa, I want one.

This is not a fake story. From her writing tone, this is a woman that has been emotionally-wrecked trying to get some justice. Hopefully, she'll be able to get the justice she deserves. I think embassies of countries should warn older ladies planning to marry young Nigerian men. Yes the ladies know they are being used for financial needs and visas but they should also know these men come with a lot of unfaithfulness.
I pray OP has the strength to pick her life back up.

🌺

Some people are evil,I can never bite the finger that feeds me

Sorry about everything that happens to you miss,I relish how you fight fire with fire cuz if you fight fire with glitter you'll lose

NjaFoodie:
I don’t care what you think. I’m def not a Nigerian in any way except for loving the country and the people.

I sent you a pm ,kindly check it out. Thanks

NjaFoodie:
Gosh I didn’t think anyone would want to know the backstory.
Well. I gave up my nice upper middle class life, beautiful flat, my furniture, my new car, my family, all the clothes, shoes and handbags a girl could want. I gave away alot and sold some. I took on a 2nd job for a year to save and prepare for the move, ended up saving equivalent of 20k usd. I left my own country to move to Nigeria after 2.5 years of long distance. We planned for me to move to him because you know it’s hard for a Nigerian to japa. We were to get married, stay in Nigeria a while then switch countries. Not long after I arrived he started acting weird, like ignoring me and just being very different than the previous years of long distance. & yes, I visited him 3 times that long distance time. When I relocated, It was to rebuild again with him for us.
We had some major issues adjusting to being together and I realized it was because he never really wanted a full relationship. He had always had situationships and this was his preference, even though he never said this. It was clear to me.
But I was stuck, I had already gotten rid of my whole life and relocated. So I hung on, we stayed in and out, while he breadbeumbed me to keep me attached and he went on to keep exploring other people while also entertaining me and telling me he loves me, he wants us to be a family etc but we needed to “heal” he kept saying. Basically giving me a bs excuse of why he could t commit to me.

That went on for 2 years, we’re both living separately but still in and out together, he’s still doing what he needed to do to give me “false hope”.
He went on vacation to another country, alone, to return in a month. After that month, he told me he was not coming back to Nigeria ever. So he left me in his country. I was of course devastated, almost killed myself tbh. And I lost probably 25 kg, so I was a skeleton. That was the lowest I’ve ever been in my life. A week or so later, I was investigating and saw he was in the new country boo’d up with a girl.
So we fought back and forth and that was it, we did not talk or anything for 4 months. He was blocked everywhere and I was in Nigeria alone.

After 4 months out of the blue, he sent me 5 million naira. Then a few weeks later, he sent another 3 million. He was still blocked. After that 2nd transfer of $$, we started communicating again via email then I unblocked him. He sent $$ out of guilt I later realized.
Long story short. He got me to go to the country he had Japa to and when I got here, we make up and said we’re re-starting with a clean slate, leave the past in the past, forgive and forget.


2 months went by, everything was great, perfect in fact.
Then one day he got a call at midnight feom a number with a pink bow, now name. I asked him who that was and no answer from him. So my antenna’s went up again.
He was storing one of his suitcases at my flat for whatever reason I can’t remember and when I saw that phone call and he was being secretive about it , I decided to open the suitcase just to “see”, nit thinking I would find anything.
To my horror, I found printed pictures of him and the girl that I caught him with while I was still in Nigeria. I asked him and he confessed that he moved to the new country and started a new relationship with her within the 2-3 weeks AND when I arrived to the new country and we were supposedly starting anew, fresh start, he was still seeing her, juggling and rotating us, essentially having 2 relationships going.

So again, I wa devastated, distraught, so many things I can’t even put into words. So I retreated again. This time for 2 months. I was again in a foreign country alone, he’s with the girl. I spent Xmas & new years alone.
Then after 2 months, he emailed me and begged me again.
Now mind you, I love this man with all of me, so it’s easy to be dumb stupid when it comes to him. Plus my being alone in a foreign country worked in his favour. I wanted him around but I was trying to maintain some dignity for myself.
So again, we got back together in February. We were good March, April and May. Then he got a new car, a new Mercedes, his dream car. Soon as I saw it, I knew what was coming next.
The next week, we had planned a road trip for Saturday. Saturday morning he called and said he had drank too much on Friday night and he was broke. So I sent him $$ and told him to rest, drink water and we can reschedule the road trip.

He came to my place that Monday-Wednesday and that’s the last time we saw each other.
I felt he was OFF again, his energy. So I investigated and saw that that Friday he went out, he had dm’d a girl on IG, for her an Airbnb for the weekend in the city, took her out to dinner, clubbing and whatever else. So that’s why he was broke and asking me for $$. Which is just low down dirty of him.
So I contacted the girl and told her he’s not single. She didn’t care. She preceded to brag to me how much $$ he spent on her.
Then I told all of his friends what he did becazue he told the girl I was a leech, lazy and crazy. She told me this.
Which I am none of those things, I work and make my own money and I never ask him for a penny.


Some sought back and forth via text becazue he wasn’t man enough to even pick his phone, for about 3 days we fought then just blocked him everywhere again.


So this is the 3rd time he had blindsided me after begging me tio come back and making all these promises.
Mind you, when we met, I was at the too of my
Game, I made good $$, had a good lifestyle and i helped him to elevate himself giving him $$ every month before I relocated. When we met he was washing clothes in a bucket, living in a tiny tiny studio flat and he had no car. Before long, with my help, he had a new iPhone, new MacBook, a car and he was on his way up.
And today, we have 100% switched places. I am the poor one, no car,no decent clothes, my flat is reddest and this is becazue I keep having to take
A month or two to recover from the shxt he does to me. So
The energy I would use to “build” was going to picking myself off the floor after he blindsided me.
Today he had a new Mercedes, all designer clothes, lived in a high rise in the city and he had $$ in his bank account. It’s like he did
Juju on me and sucked my life force and used it doe him. Becazue we are literally switched from what we were when we met.

So after some thought. I would normally just be the bigger person and walk away as I have done many times before. But this time, I feel I need to yeah him a hard lesson to not play with people and play with peoples life like he has done.
Mind you, I can’t even write everything he had done to me here but just know, I am severely traumatised from him, I’m nervous all the time, like a scared abused dog shaking in the corner.

And why should I just walk away and take months again to HEAL from him while he goes on with his life with this new person. I want him to feel how it feels to lose EVERyTHING like I have.

So I decided to report him and have him deported. Then we are even, I have nothing, he will lose everything and be where I’m at and feel what I feel.
I’ve never ever been in such poverty as I am today and it is because of him and his lies and manipulation.
I hope this makes gives an idea of my WHY.

I’m not a bad person. I’ve just reached the end of my rope of being abused repeatedly. I’ve been good to him despite how he’s treated me.

What was you say It was long for me read