₦airaland Forum

naijapikin2:
See ehn... This thread is timely. I am married (for want of a better word).. the case of divorce between her and I, has been in court for close to a year. And it's expensive. I just cleared the last installment of payment 3 weeks ago, so we both will be free say by this month end. Wahala everywhere... To marry wahala... To divorce wahala.

I won't advice ant young man to do court wedding sam sam. Just do traditional after you must have impregnated her. As for us... Our wedding didn't produce any children.

I'll come here and celebrate, maybe do giveaway when the divorce is concluded.

Nothing like peace of mind o.
. wallahi

The payment was for what? A settlement, child support or what? Please kindly explain this part. Thank you

Switruth:
The respect my wife places on me despite her societal status is top notch. I'm a lucky guy.

who told u u are lucky.do u know what she is cooking,

Kobojunkie:
This is 2025! Avoid men who seek submission in marriage altogether and embrace a more equal partnership so you can have someone who respects what you bring to the table as much as you respect his share.

Thanks for sharing your insights with me

highchief1:
who told u u are lucky.do u know what she is cooking,

Please learn to respect other people's stance. He's the one married to the so called wife and if he's happy with her then that should be his business, not yours.

akanu:
Marriage is good but don't send your wife to Canada or Europe with the intention of joining her later.
It might not end well brother.

please why do you say so.....................................................................

goodmuscopi:
Pls note, this thread is a floor for married, divorced or separated folks to discuss and share insight from experience. Single should just observe and learn

Now, what are the challenges you faced/are facing in your marriage?

What step did you took wrongly?

marriage na scam.i have falllen for it.im working on modalities to walk out of it.na my kids welfare I Dey consider.theres no need to marry a naija woman.They are only after what u can provide.i have not seen a Nigerian woman that loves a man genuinely.

Ouchbabe:
I have a beautiful marriage. The only challenge is the my hubby is hardly around, always travelling. I sometimes feel lonely.
I also wish we had more money to enable me get a softer babygirl life

That his travels is the secret of your happiness. Too much day by day closeness brings see finish and insult.
Let that hunger for closeness continue to fan the flame of desire for each other.
You only misses what is not there

edogu:
The payment was for what? A settlement, child support or what? Please kindly explain this part. Thank you

Man... The payment was for court process... Lawyers appearance fee. Filing with the court bailiff... Omo. Once you appear in court to start a divorce process, they rush you knowing that they must... I repeat.. must chop your money.

The first time I went to court to make enquires, one lady lawyer asked me to make a down payment of 350k... That's for a start o...

I'm not yet a wealthy guy o... So to cough out that amount was not easy.


All in all I paid about 400k.


I will sha pop champagne when it's over.

NB... Also part of the money went to serving her the court papers. And the transport to her place of work since we no longer stay together... And calls by lawyer and court officials who aso carry out investigation.

It's well o

edogu:
Please learn to respect other people's stance. He's the one married to the so called wife and if he's happy with her then that should be his business, not yours.

ok o but give the guy small time e go soon begin cry.i also tot my wife was sent from heaven until lately.

I am tired of my marriage.
It's is barely 4 years.
My wife's family is just so entitled and over thinks things.
They say I am taking them as slaves in my house just cos the help their sister with house chores.

Please never marry from a very very not ok family (financially)
Their mentality is always different
They always reason so much unto everything.

Skydivine:
That his travels is the secret of your happiness. Too much day by day closeness brings see finish and insult.
Let that hunger for closeness continue to fan the flame of desire for each other.
You only misses what is not there

To an extent you are right. The way I lhunger and look forward to his coming back eeeh...you will think we just got married last week

The home is a miniature society.
For one,marry because you want to create a society with law and order.With offsprings that will reduce the ills,and proper solutions within the society. Children with great moral compass.

Marry,if you can,for beauty, back and front, okay.
But a caveat:those back and front will fade away; you'll be tired of sex.Yes you will!
So,I'll rather counsel you marry someone that GENUINELY love the Lord.

Continue


Continue


Continue


Continue

The major challenge I'm having is more of finance. We keep planning and replanning. Marriage has turned me into Minister of finance and budget planning. Eight years of marriage with four kids. To God be the glory.

Marriage is not easy at all. Just marry someone you can easily relate with as a friend. There comes a time when beauty, sex etc becomes secondary especially once the kids start arriving.
What drives the marriage then is your friendship with your wife.

As a man, learn to hustleooo. Even if you have a good job, try to see if you can attract other passive income. The world no send you especially if you are coming from a challenging background. Even if you have an understanding wife, there are certain situations that will push you to the wall. I remember when my first child was growing teeth. He was stooling and vomiting. We almost lost him. Understanding no reach this one except you want your child to die. Thank God for the little savings.

Secondary, learn to manage your anger. Woman sabi do cho cho cho. Just learn to ignore them or sometimes you can use joke to reply them. It helps to calm the situation down. Visiting the bar just to escape 'home battle' is never the solution. It only helps you to clear your head. The problem still awaits you once you return

At your convenience, learn to assist your wife in some home activities especially if you don't have a nanny. I'm not saying you should turn to boy boy. Just learn to assist. Imagine a scenario where same person will wake up to bath, dress, cook and feed the children. The same person will still take them to school. By the time they return from school na still the same thing. Haba! You're not married to a slave. Usually whenever my wife is preparing the children's meal for school, I do assist in bathing the children thereby reducing the burden.

Thirdly, couples should learn to give themselves a treat once in a while. Memories from such outing keeps the marriage going.

For the women, please know the type of friend you keep. People have the tendency to hide their marital problems while they aim at destroying other people's home. Know the type of problem you share with your friends including some family relatives. Na the rat wey dey inside house they tell the one wey dey inside Bush say food dey for house.

Learn to respect your husband especially before the kids, family members and friends. When you have a man who is willing to assist, please appreciate him. Don't denigrate his efforts.

Thirdly, please endeavour to get something doing even if it's just small. You never can tell what will happen in the future. A friend of mine lost his job. Unfortunately, the wife had nothing doing. Thank God for the understanding. The wife started selling food items like peppers, fufu and other perishable items. Initially it was not easy as there was no table or shop. They started by displaying those things on the ground. The husband, initially, was ashame considering he was doing well before turned bad. But he had to ignore the shame, joined hands with the wife to manage the small business. With the help from friends, they were able to secure shops. Within a period of six months after he lost his job, the husband was recalled back.

There're so many things to write but let me stop here.

Antoeni:
God Forgave Prostitutes, But When it Was Time to Pick The Mother Of His Son, He Chose a Virgin, Brothers You Can Forgive The Long Term Prostitutes in The Church Like God Has Forgave Them, But When it Comes to Choosing The Mother Of Your Kids, Be Like God

Hope you know that Rahab the harlot in the Bible is among the bloodline of Jesus Christ, so stop yapping spittle about in ignorance.

VeryWickedMan:
My marriages are sweet and trouble-free because I'm the one who starts the problem. Before any of my wives can think of how to frustrate me I quickly drop one big family issue on them. It can be impregnating a church member or neighbour's daughter. It could be slapping a relative.

These keep them occupied for the time being.
No quarrels, no fights, no nagging.


Keep your woman occupied with wahala to experience joyful peace in your home.

You must have years of experience doing this and I guess you are not on your first marriage.

tunapawizzy:
You wan learn how to be divorced when u eventually marry?

No oo.
So we no go make the same mistakes.

You get?

naijapikin2:
Man... The payment was for court process... Lawyers appearance fee. Filing with the court bailiff... Omo. Once you appear in court to start a divorce process, they rush you knowing that they must... I repeat.. must chop your money.

The first time I went to court to make enquires, one lady lawyer asked me to make a down payment of 350k... That's for a start o...

I'm not yet a wealthy guy o... So to cough out that amount was not easy.


All in all I paid about 400k.


I will sha pop champagne when it's over.

NB... Also part of the money went to serving her the court papers. And the transport to her place of work since we no longer stay together... And calls by lawyer and court officials who aso carry out investigation.

It's well o

Now I see. There's nothing as good as peace of mind. I'm happy for you.

I
Am
Here
To complete
My
40
Characters
Of
The
Day.

Thank you

fyneboi79:
Divorced..... Yeah and I'm happier than ever.
Dear ladies,
Until you agree to submit to a man as you submitted to your father you will continue crying in relationships and marriage.

Den go hear? Na all of them they want equality these days...no amount of care you give them will make them submit...but when kasala bux full everywhere den go remember sey dem be weaker sex.

dollytino4real:
Don't marry illiterate for the singles, whether man or woman pls run from them. They always feel cheated as if you are the cause of their illiteracy. My challenges are plenty ranging from children to husband but it is well.

Could. You pls list those challenges and tag me especially the children's part

Kobojunkie:
Sacrifice of what and for what, abeg? Marriage is sold as a better alternative than singledom for those who are not satisfied with singledom... Am I wrong? If you are going to drone on and on about sacrifice this and that in marriage, why not just remain single, and enjoy it without all the supposed sacrifices?

Well many are now embracing singleness after their divorce. The days of remarriage is drawing to a close. More and more men and women who went into marriage thinking it was all bliss are now finding out that they should have remained single.

efficiencie:
➜Well many are now embracing singleness after their divorce. The days of remarriage is drawing to a close. More and more men and women who went into marriage thinking it was all bliss are now finding out that they should have remained single.

I disagree! Remarriage is probably going to become the new norm with so many divorced individuals out there. My hope is, rather, that many of the divorced now would seek healing for their emotional burdens before heading back onto the dating scene.

PwincessRukky:
Emotional abuse, silent treatment and lack of communication were what I faced. I sought a divorce, and I got it.

Are you happy now that you are divorced? Would you consider marrying someone else again?

Marriage is not for the fainthearted.
Be sure that there will be days when neither money nor love is enough to sustain the fire in the relationship.
And sometimes, it is best to walk away for sanity, peace of mind, and above all, life sake.
But if you have the heart, hang in there.

akanu:
Marriage is good but don't send your wife to Canada or Europe with the intention of joining her later.
It might not end well brother.

Then why marry in the first place? If you cannot trust her with Canada or Europe why trust her in your country

naijapikin2:
See ehn... This thread is timely. I am married (for want of a better word).. the case of divorce between her and I, has been in court for close to a year. And it's expensive. I just cleared the last installment of payment 3 weeks ago, so we both will be free say by this month end. Wahala everywhere... To marry wahala... To divorce wahala.

I won't advice ant young man to do court wedding sam sam. Just do traditional after you must have impregnated her. As for us... Our wedding didn't produce any children.

I'll come here and celebrate, maybe do giveaway when the divorce is concluded.

Nothing like peace of mind o.
. wallahi

It is sad that you two are ending your union on a very bitter note but when you met her you were brimming with joy and expectations. So sad.

Antoeni:
God Forgave Prostitutes, But When it Was Time to Pick The Mother Of His Son, He Chose a Virgin, Brothers You Can Forgive The Long Term Prostitutes in The Church Like God Has Forgave Them, But When it Comes to Choosing The Mother Of Your Kids, Be Like God

Deep...I choose to be like God today!
.................................................................

UnknownQueen:
Married but living like flat mates in the home, ladies in all u do, don't marry a narcissist, there's a difference between a man who wants respect and submission and a narcissist who is there to frustrate life outta u.....there's a thin line btw these two but I tell u for free, Nigerian men are freaking narcissists

Who knows, you may have married a wounded soul who is applying lessons learned from his dark past to you. If he changes to day will you believe that not all men are narcissistic? And if you eventually divorce him will you remarry and how will you spot the next narcissist when he shows up asking for a date

Kobojunkie:
This is 2025! Avoid men who seek submission in marriage altogether and embrace a more equal partnership so you can have someone who respects what you bring to the table as much as you respect his share.

Are you married? If yes, is this how you relate with your spouse?