₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
Of course he does have a right to see the kids, but nothing of that right is in exchange for his duty as their provider and supporter.

2. So?

3. I see nothing bad in that either.

This topic is on fathers being deadbeats -- refusing to support the upkeep and nature of their children. Try to stay focused and stop muddling issues already!;!

Why should a father support kids he could not access?
What are the probability that the kids will be available for him tomorrow?
The best relationship a man should build with his kids is from younger age.

aremuforlife:
➜Why should a father support kids he could not access?
➜What are the probability that the kids will be available for him tomorrow?
➜ The best relationship a man should build with his kids is from younger age.

1. So, children denied access to their fathers are no longer flesh and blood to that man?

2. Children who are not available to a father tomorrow are of no use to him today?

3. And if he cannot own and control them at that point, he should abandon them— blood, DNA, and all?

Kobojunkie:
1. So, children denied access to their fathers are no longer flesh and blood to that man?

2. Children who are not available to a father tomorrow are of no use to him today?

3. And if he cannot own and control them at that point, he should abandon them— blood, DNA, and all?

It is all fictional, we came into this world with nothing and we will be leaving with nothing. What is the usefulness of your blood and DNA who are not or will not be there for you.
It will be better to take care of non DNA related who will be there or ready to stay by you.
It's high time we stop this manipulation and gaslighting.

aremuforlife:
✓ It is all fictional, we came into this world with nothing and we will be leaving with nothing. What is the usefulness of your blood and DNA who are not or will not be there for you. It will be better to take care of non DNA related who will be there or ready to stay by you.
✓ It's high time we stop this manipulation and gaslighting.

1. At least you admit to abandonment of children to being of some benefit where you wish to see it as such.

2. The gaslighting and manipulation comes from men. Rather than own their decisions to become deadbeat dads to children they have chosen to abandon, they look for ways to shift ways, rather unreasonably too, on the mother of the children or even other relatives in the could.

Kobojunkie:
1. At least you admit to abandonment of children to being of some benefit where you wish to see it as such.

2. The gaslighting and manipulation comes from men. Rather than own their decisions to become deadbeat dads to children they have chosen to abandon, they look for ways to shift ways, rather unreasonably too, on the mother of the children or even other relatives in the could.

No reasonable man will abandon his kids. All reasonable or responsible men will do everything to be in their kids live. But in a situation where the mother of the children is using the children as a bait, I will let them be. If I die they will live and survive, they may not even care about their dad who does why trying to be in their life.
Do you care to know what men are passing through
Do you even care to know how many men are in the prison while trying to do the right thing
Do you care to know how many any men has lost all while trying to be a good father in theife of their children?
You knows nothing about life

aremuforlife:
➜No reasonable man will abandon his kids. All reasonable or responsible men will do everything to be in their kids live. But in a situation where the mother of the children is using the children as a bait, I will let them be. If I die they will live and survive, they may not even care about their dad who does why trying to be in their life.

1. So, you are not a reasonable man, is what you are saying. I get it!

aremuforlife:
➜ Do you care to know what men are passing through?
➜ Do you even care to know how many men are in prison while trying to do the right thing?
➜ Do you care to know how many men have lost all while trying to be a good father in the life of their children? You know nothing about life

1. I don't give a flying f-ck, as all humans go through the very same.
2. The same reasons why men are in prison apply equally to women who are in prison. There are rarely any laws that are male-specific(violated only by men), but there are a couple that are focused on the female gender.
3. There are equally many women out there who gave up their dreams and goals in life to raise a family, only to end up losing everything.

If what you claim to know falls short of reality, then what you know amounts to nothing, don't you see.

[quote author=Kobojunkie post=135773334]1. I don't give a flying f-ck, as all humans go through the very same.
2. The same reasons why men are in prison apply equally to women who are in prison. There are rarely any laws that are male-specific(violated only by men), but there are a couple that are focused on the female gender.
3. There are equally many women out there who gave up their dreams and goals in life to raise a family, only to end up losing everything.

If what you claim to know falls short of reality, then what you know amounts to nothing, don't you see. [/quote
you are not in touch with the reality.

Kobojunkie:
1. Imagine me as a child asking you why my dad should withhold his responsibilities towards me, his child, in the case that he is not allowed to see me? Do I stop needing to be fed, catered for, nurtured, etc., because, for some reason, he is not allowed to see me? Why should the child have to suffer because two adults are not mature enough to set aside their issues?

Why should your mum do that to your dad to begin with? To punish him, right?

2. My concern has never been about the ladies or the men's, but about the responsibility of parents to their children. So, stop bringing up meaningless issues between two equally immature, vindictive adults— withholding support from your child because the mother is not cooperating with you is a vindictive move against the child— and focus more on the fact that the abandoned child is caused to suffer needlessly, all because of what?

It is up to which one of the parents who is custody of the kids to decide if the kids should be used as pawn or not.

Kobojunkie:
1. You gave them the best life until you decided not to give them the best life anymore? Do you know how a child would interpret what you just said there? 😏😏😏

2. The kids are your life, yet you felt they ought to be denied this former best life you claim you once gave them because you had a falling out with the woman? 😏😏😏

3. I have attempted suicide myself, many times, but it was never over a kid or anyone else. So, yeah! 😏😏😏

4. Sounds to me like your depression is over the loss of what you used to have and not really over concern for your kids. If you really felt bad about the kids, wouldn't the first thing to do be to ensure they are eating well and living well wherever they may be? I am just asking out loud cause it sure seems to me like your depression and all is for some personal pity party — directed inwards — and not really out of real concern for the kids themselves. 😏😏😏😏

5. You don't blame her, but the kids are currently paying for it? I mean, the fact that you cut off funding of their formerly best life is proof that the ones suffering are the kids in this case.😏😏😏😏

These stories you are telling me here now, can you actually look your daughter or son in the eye today and repeat all of this as a reason for why they should no longer expect to get the best life from you? For real, the way many of you dey process issues concerning your flesh and blood na.... very terrible heart indeed. 😏😏

You are like radio broadcast, you only talk but doesn't listen.

loyaltygame:
To me no good reason to neglect your kids,
the kids are innocent.
You must take good care of them, even if your ex is denying you access to them, that cannot stop your responsibility as a father,you can be sending money to her account for future purpose.
When the kids grown your record will be visible.

It may be erased, it will be erased

maasoap:
➜You are like radio broadcast, you only talk but doesn't listen.

Na una way... attack the messenger in attempts to avoid broaching the questions asked.

maasoap:
➜Why should your mum do that to your dad to begin with? To punish him, right?
➜It is up to which one of the parents who is custody of the kids to decide if the kids should be used as pawn or not.

1. Ah! So, the father feels punished by her action, and in retaliation, he targets the child?

2. A father giving support to his own child should depend on whether the child is being used as a pawn or not?

Kobojunkie:
1. What a convenient excuse to shirk one's obligations towards one's own kids.

2. So, not being sure, is reason enough to WITHHOLD resources meant to go towards supporting the child until adulthood?

3. Ladies love to do what you claim, so the men take it on themselves to use the ladies as a convenient excuse to, altogether, abandon their children, right?

4. The husband then took the opportunity to abandon the children — flesh and blood— in response?

If you can't see the kids you're spending on, definitely your money is not being spent on your kids and that should call for concern on the man's part.
If the mother hid the kids from their dad despite doing his financial responsibility on the kids, may be they're not his kids. Because we need to talk about why the kids are being hidden from him.

Nnamdipapa:
That is the heights of irresponsibility. I can never neglect my kids or ex wife no matter what. I would rather die than neglect my kids.

lol. Wait until you meet frustration pro max

Kobojunkie:
1. Ah! So, the father feels punished by her action, and in retaliation, he targets the child?

2. A father giving support to his own child should depend on whether the child is being used as a pawn or not?

I disagree.
You personalise the kids, you bear the burden alone

maasoap:
➜If you can't see the kids you're spending on, definitely your money is not being spent on your kids and that should call for concern on the man's part.
➜ If the mother hid the kids from heir dad despite doing his financial responsibility on the kids, may be they're not his kids.
➜ Because we need to talk about why the kids are being hidden from him.

1. Not being able to see them is proof that your money is not being used for their care? Oh, wow!

2. Oh! Yet more reasons why the children should be abandoned without concrete evidence... I see.

3. So, the support for the kids can wait until after the adults resolve their personal issues, abi? In the meantime, the children might as well starve or die.

maasoap:
➜I disagree. You personalise the kids, you bear the burden alone

Personalize the kids? Why not simply admit that this is the same as abandonment, since it takes two to make those kids?

Kobojunkie:
Na una way... attack the messenger in attempts to avoid broaching the questions asked.

I'm not attacking you, I'm calling your attention to what everyone is is calling your attention to.

maasoap:
➜I'm not attacking you, I'm calling your attention to what everyone is is calling your attention to.

The topic is on why people resort to abandoning their children altogether after a divorce... not on what the adults do with or to each other. Using the squabble between the adults as an excuse not to admit to abandoning the children is silly, at best.

Kobojunkie:
Personalize the kids? Why not simply admit that this is the same as abandonment, since it takes two to make those kids?

You decide to have custody since by law, you're the primary custodian. If I'm given the choice, I know I would love to be too. But since I can't, you shouldn't deny me the opportunity to see them regularly if they are mine and I'm doing right by them.

maasoap:
➜You decide to have custody since by law, you're the primary custodian.
➜ If I'm given the choice, I know I would love to be too. But since I can't, you shouldn't deny me the opportunity to see them regularly if they are mine and I'm doing right by them.

Stop rambling! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Outside of the courts, while the mother may be the primary custodian, the father is meant to remain the secondary custodian — he is expected to at least provide support in that case. However, the courts have the power to give custody to the parent it decides is of best fit for the child. A man who wishes to gain custody could easily take his case before the courts. However, the vast majority of fathers don't even bother taking the issue to the courts and simply walk away, abandoning the children altogether to their mothers. So, how can you continue arguing that this isn't what it literally represents?

2. Nonsense! We are asking why you chose to abandon your children because of their mother. Why do your children have to suffer for the sake of your ego?

Kobojunkie:
1. Not being able to see them is proof that your money is not being used for their care? Oh, wow!

How would you know if they're malnourished?

2. Oh! Yet more reasons why the children should be abandoned without concrete evidence... I see.

If you behave like they're not mine, may be they are not mine

3. So, the support for the kids can wait until after the adults resolve their personal issues, abi? In the meantime, the children might as well starve or die.

Adult who is using kids to take revenge on their dad, lol. The man is better wise up

Kobojunkie:
Stop rambling! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Outside of the courts, while the mother may be the primary custodian, the father is meant to remain the secondary custodian — he is expected to at least provide support in that case. However, the courts have the power to give custody to the parent it decides is of best fit for the child. A man who wishes to gain custody could easily take his case before the courts. However, the vast majority of fathers don't even bother taking the issue to the courts and simply walk away, abandoning the children altogether to their mothers. So, how can you continue arguing that this isn't what it literally represents?

2 . Nonsense! We are asking why you chose to abandon your children because of their mother. Why do your children have to suffer for the sake of your ego?

You are losing your shit.
You do know that you are really annoying but we still manage to engage you as maturely as possible?

Kobojunkie:
The topic is on why people resort to abandoning their children altogether after a divorce... not on what the adults do with or to each other. Using the squabble between the adults as an excuse not to admit to abandoning the children is silly, at best.

And people are telling you why

maasoap:
➜How would you know if they're malnourished?
➜If you behave like they're not mine, may be they are not mine
➜Adult who is using kids to take revenge on their dad, lol. The man is better wise up

1. It is better that you don't send money at all because you are not aware if they are malnourished or not ?

2. Without so much as due diligence on your end, your resolve is to conclude that the children aren't yours, abandon them, and move on?

3. Is the man who abandoned his children in retaliation for the actions of his children's mother wise?

maasoap:
➜You are losing your shit. You do know that you are really annoying but we still manage to engage you as maturely as possible?

Maturity is shifting blame while not boldly admitting to abandonment all?

maasoap:
➜And people are telling you why

Retaliation is your why for abandoning your children? The children are no better than fodder in the feud between you and their mother. OK! Case closed then!

maasoap:
It may be erased, it will be erased

It can not be erased.
The evidence will be there electronically and it will be visible to all