₦airaland Forum

Its not easy to comprehend partners...lots of people dont have self discovery.

Greetings to Chess Players here.

Kobicove:
Your wife needs to understand that over there bills are split 50/50 by the couple unlike here in Nigeria where the husband bears almost all the bills 100%.

I hope she won't use a flimsy excuse to get your thrown out of the house, that will be double jeopardy for you!

It is not all houses where bills are split abroad.

Obviously if they are working class, bills will be split so that the 2 couple can contribute to the progress of the family.

If the man is well to do, majority of the time, it is the man bringing the income and the woman a house wife.

But in this case,they are both working class, they both are suppose to contribute for the house.

In the next 10 years, the woman will be financially free, while the man struggling.

This is just evil

Liazz:
Am I being unreasonable being mad at my wife?
We relocated abroad 3 years ago but she isn't helping to settle any of the bills.

We both are gainfully employed though I earn much than she does. Our monthly expenditure is about £2000 and she doesn't care to help in any way. I foot all bills making me struggle to save while she keeps all she earns to herself. We also had a loan of over 10 thousand pounds to settle when we relocated, she didn't help with a dime till I paid all bits by bits which took me almost 2 years.

Despite this, I still help with house chores like taking care of our kids, home cleaning and even washing dishes though she does all the cooking.
I've expressed my displeasure several times but she keeps insisting I can't force her to financially assist, it's my job as I'm the husband. She seems convinced she isn't doing any wrong and no sign of remorse whatsoever.

I financed our relocation 100% without her contributing a dime.

This is causing a strain in the marriage and I am thinking if I am unreasonable in my demand, am I?
Your comments are highly welcome.

I don't know who is lying to you guys that it is the man that provides?? Oga na everyone dey hustle na everyone go provide. Same with house chores. You should have divorced her long ago...

Liazz:
Am I being unreasonable being mad at my wife?
We relocated abroad 3 years ago but she isn't helping to settle any of the bills.

We both are gainfully employed though I earn much than she does. Our monthly expenditure is about £2000 and she doesn't care to help in any way. I foot all bills making me struggle to save while she keeps all she earns to herself. We also had a loan of over 10 thousand pounds to settle when we relocated, she didn't help with a dime till I paid all bits by bits which took me almost 2 years.

Despite this, I still help with house chores like taking care of our kids, home cleaning and even washing dishes though she does all the cooking.
I've expressed my displeasure several times but she keeps insisting I can't force her to financially assist, it's my job as I'm the husband. She seems convinced she isn't doing any wrong and no sign of remorse whatsoever.

I financed our relocation 100% without her contributing a dime.

This is causing a strain in the marriage and I am thinking if I am unreasonable in my demand, am I?
Your comments are highly welcome.

someone claims to be in the uk but is still mixing up American and British currency
claim you do dishes when dishwaher can be bought cheaply

gerraria hia with your rd pill engagement

a man in based in uk coming to nairaland to look for advice from small boy incels who dont have gf

Most women are naturally selfish....na their way...reason u should never sacrifice for them ...

Result of settling down for nonsense in the name of being in marriage. It's better being single than being in some marriages

Na wicked, stingy woman you marry...

You must have ignored those characters back in Nigeria

Liazz:
I finance everything 100%, I give her money and she goes out to buy the food stuff.
We have 2 kids, 5 years and 3 months of age. That's why it's complicated, I can't make any drastic decision as my kids may suffer. Social workers in UK also don't tolerating suffering children, they will take your children away from u and u will never see them again.

A woman with a 3 month old baby is working? I hope the job is not too stressful? Please her health is important.

On the main issue, please have a discussion with your wife on how to sort the bills. You can pay house rent while she sorts utility bills.

you are being unreasonable...look away from her money.

You pay rent and feeding as well as support with the children and house chores, that's expected from any western man.

The moment you delete thinking of how to spend/ she spends her money in your head.......you will experience peace.

By the way, i was once like you.

Exercise patience. Sit down and have talk .once again endure.thank you fourty words

immortalcrown:
She is probably sending her money to her parents and her siblings. If she manages to save so much in the nearby future, she will tell you goodbye.

Bitter truth. The guy knows indirectly that the woman is saving to have enough before she says good bye.

Guy man is caught in the trap... There is no other way than to work harder and be as rich as possible. However, plan the divorce well before it happens. Make sure your expenditures will be less after the divorce and that you have nothing to lose if in case the divorce happens.

You better leave right now. A woman who won't support you is not fit to be a wife not to talk of your girlfriend. She used you to go abroad and now is using you to pay for the shelter and food. You better start thinking of separation now because eventually you will separate or she will from you.

jesmond3945:
i live in uk too. The system is different. Here you are on your own. Also, the reason why most men have nothing to show after years in abroad is because of this. If you are not doing 50 50 with your wife my brother you would not achieve anything and the worsf you might work yourself to death. Anyone that advises you otherwise hates you. With 50 50 with my wife we built 2 properties in nigeria, we bought a house in uk, we bought cars in uk, we help people back home, we travel too. Like i said this is an advise. Many men in uk are regretring for chesting bills alone. Uk was created for household income.

Hello bro, how long have you been there now? And how old are you now?

Liazz:
Am I being unreasonable being mad at my wife?
We relocated abroad 3 years ago but she isn't helping to settle any of the bills.

We both are gainfully employed though I earn much than she does. Our monthly expenditure is about £2000 and she doesn't care to help in any way. I foot all bills making me struggle to save while she keeps all she earns to herself. We also had a loan of over 10 thousand pounds to settle when we relocated, she didn't help with a dime till I paid all bits by bits which took me almost 2 years.

Despite this, I still help with house chores like taking care of our kids, home cleaning and even washing dishes though she does all the cooking.
I've expressed my displeasure several times but she keeps insisting I can't force her to financially assist, it's my job as I'm the husband. She seems convinced she isn't doing any wrong and no sign of remorse whatsoever.

I financed our relocation 100% without her contributing a dime.

This is causing a strain in the marriage and I am thinking if I am unreasonable in my demand, am I?
Your comments are highly welcome.

Dump her at the appropriate time, but be very calculative. Put into consideration the age of the children so that the useless Courts there will not give her your monthly salary as child support. If the children are far from 18 years, then I advise that you relocate to another country.

This is the story of Nigerian women when you take them abroad. I am in the system and I see all that happen. Two of my schoolmates that came to UK with their family to do Masters have relocated to Australia ALONE because their wives turned them to slaves. I know several others that have run away from their wives to another part of the country. I also know those whose wives have sent packing from home to squat with friends while they are still footing all the bills of the wives and children. You have to be very calculative here.

Fake sickness and collapse suddenly, her response will tell you what she's planning about you.

QuantAnalyst:
A woman with a 3 month old baby is working? I hope the job is not too stressful? Please her health is important.

On the main issue, please have a discussion with your wife on how to sort the bills. You can pay house rent while she sorts utility bills.

One day men will gang up against exploitative women. They won't beat the women but the simps that supporting the women.

QuantAnalyst:
A woman with a 3 month old baby is working? I hope the job is not too stressful? Please her health is important.

On the main issue, please have a discussion with your wife on how to sort the bills. You can pay house rent while she sorts utility bills.

U get fully paid while on maternity leave. Moreso, I'm talking about the situation even while she was actively working.

OKOATA:
[b]Why don't you trick her and the kids to Nigeria then, just seize her passport and forget her or better still just tell her you lost your job and you will be [/b]staying at a friend's place for the mean time. That way you can know what to do by staying with a friend or whatever to observe the situation. Tell her you also lost all you had to a business or something like that. That will show you her true colours so prepare for the worse.

Brooooo you are baaaaaaaaaaaad

Whoaaaaaa

fredoooooo:
Woman help your husband na .. that's why you're his ribs .. why are you so selfish...

Nigerian women: we are already helping our husband by giving him pvssy.....

You're seating on a time bomb
She get plan and no love for you bro
If you don't take your decision now, you will regret it later

You have to plan strategically and you have to be 5 years ahead of her ,by improvising your finances ,If you dont do that ,life will short ,so many people are down with blood pressure and other issues .Once you expire ,highest is one year ,and another man is already pounding .Dont go that way ,you cannot wake up again.

Greedy and selfish wife, baba start looking for another wife o. As e be like this you are in a wrong marriage. Next time marry person wey you and her element and zodiac sign matched together for partnership. No go marry again because of beauty or love. Marry person wey your element and her element is spiritually attached. E dey work like magic

Liazz:
Am I being unreasonable being mad at my wife?
We relocated abroad 3 years ago but she isn't helping to settle any of the bills.

We both are gainfully employed though I earn much than she does. Our monthly expenditure is about £2000 and she doesn't care to help in any way. I foot all bills making me struggle to save while she keeps all she earns to herself. We also had a loan of over 10 thousand pounds to settle when we relocated, she didn't help with a dime till I paid all bits by bits which took me almost 2 years.

Despite this, I still help with house chores like taking care of our kids, home cleaning and even washing dishes though she does all the cooking.
I've expressed my displeasure several times but she keeps insisting I can't force her to financially assist, it's my job as I'm the husband. She seems convinced she isn't doing any wrong and no sign of remorse whatsoever.

I financed our relocation 100% without her contributing a dime.

This is causing a strain in the marriage and I am thinking if I am unreasonable in my demand, am I?
Your comments are highly welcome.

With all sincerity, either she will change or not, start planning your exit NOW that you can still hustle.
Adopt 80-20 principles to have some savings that can enable you to navigate the shock you will receive in the next two or three years from her. Start having indirect separation or divorce conversations because it MUST surely happen.
Remember, you are more vulnerable than she is. She have immunity. She is only waiting for the full legitimacy to strike you.
I repeat, start having exit plan especially investment back home. The system will surely throw you out the day you finally act funny or silly.
Don't touch her. Don't beat or abuse. But review your financial expenditures. Spending up to £2000 monthly as an immigrant is grossly unwise, you will soon perish financially when the system hits you. If you have Children, start brainstorming on a clear financial responsibility in the event she leaves you or you guys SEPARATE!
I repeat, adopt 80/20 so you can have enough savings in the next three years. Start investing back home now matter what you are earning.

I wish you good luck as you navigate the rough water of life.

To all guys out there, either your marriage is good or not, endeavor to have exit PLANs however sweet it might be today. Start throwing the message out indirectly to elicit reactions. You are never too good to be ignored or abandoned as an husband or partner. The world out there is mean and when your time reaches to be dished, you might be hit mercilessly!

Patented:
It's either she got too used to that arrangement or she get plans wey she no dey tell you IMO

Sorry to say this, she is a very, very selfish person and the earlier you think of safe guarding yourself, you should know how best to go about it, the better for you. But if you don't, you will over labor yourself, get exhausted and die. But don't get violent, else you loose all you have laboured for. Secondly, you ought to have seen early signs of this in her before you got married, yet you still decided to go ahead with the marriage. Like someone said, she really has plans, so you need to act fast

Liazz:
Am I being unreasonable being mad at my wife?
We relocated abroad 3 years ago but she isn't helping to settle any of the bills.

This is causing a strain in the marriage and I am thinking if I am unreasonable in my demand, am I?
Your comments are highly welcome.

YOU: We relocated abroad 3 years ago but she isn't helping to settle any of the bills.

We both are gainfully employed though I earn much than she does. Our monthly expenditure is about £2000 and she doesn't care to help in any way. I foot all bills making me struggle to save while she keeps all she earns to herself. We also had a loan of over 10 thousand pounds to settle when we relocated, she didn't help with a dime till I paid all bits by bits which took me almost 2 years.

Despite this, I still help with house chores like taking care of our kids, home cleaning and even washing dishes though she does all the cooking.
I've expressed my displeasure several times but she keeps insisting I can't force her to financially assist, it's my job as I'm the husband. She seems convinced she isn't doing any wrong and no sign of remorse whatsoever.

I financed our relocation 100% without her contributing a dime.

ME: Welcome abroad Sir, first this is ABROAD, delete ur AFRICAN MENTALITY bruv, house bill is by % here. i alone EARN 3ground mysef and my wife earn about half of mine. the bill is 60/40% despite.
there is nothing like bread winner here oo.. my wife WASTES money alot and not a GOOD PLANNER, there were lot of ish and then i saw where the ERROR was from, we quarrelled about the percentage but reality is what it is .. first 2 years, i PAID like u doing cos of African MENTALITY, until wen i saw that DECISION making in the HOME was not of AFRICAN MENTALITY. it was when she was on MATERNITY LEAVE i again allowed her enjoy her INCOME 100% for 10 months.. so i reduced my DESIGNER wears purchasing.
so do needful now;

RENT, FOOD and groceries, CAR INSURANCE, HOLIDAY contribution, and CHILDREN WELFARE FEE, OPEN a JOINT ACCOUNT jus for these and EVERYONE drop their % on PAY DAY. fight it, then u CONTINUE LOVE LIFE after u settled this APPROPRIATELY


BRO, these are things that splits HOME, u have to be STRONG. tell HER u want to GET u OWN APARTMENT! just that alone dont say any FURTHER! if she ask WHY; then tell her, u want to be RESPONSIBLE for what u USING ONLY and SANITY. she go say "WE CAN SETTLE /SOLVE THIS" xo settlement PLAN is the BILLING SPLIT, cos she KNOWS SHE GO SPEND ALL .. so make u no get SAVING n she get hers abi? i am giving u scope i USED back then, every where RESET . DM me i can further give u download

Apart from the children you had together, it means she doesn't have any other tangible contribution to the home front.

You can always order food or hire a cook, so her cooking the meal you eat cannot take over tangible contributions.

She invested little in this marriage, and she can easily watch it crumble since not much of her stake is in it.


She can leave easily.

I really empathize with your situation.
It's even worse now that both of you are abroad.
You lose on all sides if you decide to either separate from or divorce your wife.
You don't want to spend all your money on paying child support.

Itiskdg121:
Bro, that's women for you.

My advice for all men is "Prioritize yourself in all you do". Very important.
Refuse to be blinded by love, belief or religion. Be intentional about being selfish.

And above all, never be afraid to walk away at anytime.

My cent!!!

Gbammm, Refuse to be blinded by love, belief or religion. Be intentional about being selfish.

God bless the senior Man, May you live long Sir🙏👌📌💯

MaziObinnaokija:
exercise patience

Endure
Sit down and have ❤️ to ❤️ talk

Lol... Exercise patience till he's in the grave abi?

Didn't you read that he has talked to her about the situation and she's not moved to change?

Liazz:
Am I being unreasonable being mad at my wife?
We relocated abroad 3 years ago but she isn't helping to settle any of the bills.

We both are gainfully employed though I earn much than she does. Our monthly expenditure is about £2000 and she doesn't care to help in any way. I foot all bills making me struggle to save while she keeps all she earns to herself. We also had a loan of over 10 thousand pounds to settle when we relocated, she didn't help with a dime till I paid all bits by bits which took me almost 2 years.

Despite this, I still help with house chores like taking care of our kids, home cleaning and even washing dishes though she does all the cooking.
I've expressed my displeasure several times but she keeps insisting I can't force her to financially assist, it's my job as I'm the husband. She seems convinced she isn't doing any wrong and no sign of remorse whatsoever.

I financed our relocation 100% without her contributing a dime.

This is causing a strain in the marriage and I am thinking if I am unreasonable in my demand, am I?
Your comments are highly welcome.

You need to talk to your wife, not us. What do you want to hear from social media, leave her? You need to be a man, lead the house, make firm and REASONABLE decisions about the family finances. Let/make her trust you enough that she, the kids and her 'former' family will not suffer.

Man, its time to let her go before its too late. Start planning for yourself alone

Why don't you married ppl talk with each before coming on internet