₦airaland Forum

OgidiHerbals:
You've said it all summarily. Most divorces happens with LEARNED couples.

Go to ghetto and slums areas and see divorces and separation, stop deceiving yourself that only learned, it's just that, before you would hear 1 divorce of illiterate, you would have heard 10 of educated.

fineboynl:
Selfishness and greed. Many girls want a good man but they don’t want to sacrifice or invest anything in the union. Yet you want someone that will do everything for you. Dating or different from marriage.

Your boyfriend can pamper you when dating but when you start living with him those things will stop. That when you face reality.

I guess it's only girl that must make marriage work!

They reason is men. They make marriages not last.

Marriage cannot last these days because both husband and wife are always looking outside for pleasure and attention

A lot of marriages aren't built on true love but on selfishness/sexual lust.

Philos (friendly love) and eros (sexual love) can't save a marriage, but agape (God's kind of love) can.

Basicend:
In most cases, women will naturally say a lot of sorrys to you easily if you are financially very stable and powerful bro.

It all still boils at the point of finances.

You are right. That's always d conclusion. To get rich. But won't I be scared of such woman when am eventually rich cos my greatest fear will be never to get average again not to talk of poor.

Demigod22:
Our generation is not cut out for marriage. We are too sophisticated and nonconformists to respect the values in which marriage is built upon.

This here is screaming danger.

I have my SIL staying with us and some times, I look at her and pity whoever is gonna marry her or the kind of wife she's gonna be.

I pray God help this generation of young adults.

arantess:
so in your lineage marriage no dey last abi wetin you dey talk?

my parent have done 35 years, is that not lasting?
i have seen 70 years marriage.

is that not lasting enough for you?

Don't judge marriages by your own experiences in and around you oo.

forget social media, marriages are doing well

No dey compare our parents time and this present time. Things have really changed now. Marriage lasted in the olden days than today.

Amotolongbo:
“Reason why marriages aren’t lasting again”.
Were marriages lasting before?
Tell me the time/period when marriages were lasting

Because you are born in 2015 does not make the world a young place

Economic gains and influence! Why you didn't mentioned this?

oyeb15:
Most women thinks the other side is greener especially when they have male colleagues that tell them fake stories about how they took their wife for shopping, buy expensive wears for them,pay children schl fees before resumption etc .

That's how problem will start at home. No matter how u work harder for better, the other guy at work will be telling her better stories, being more friendly, accommodating and caring.

Wife will just get home and look at you like a dumphill.

It seems like a race one can't win.

you have a point. These ladies are easily deceived by what they see on social media and stories People outside tell them. It's a race you can't really win my brother.

Op are you married? If no,you have nothing to tell us about marriage. Go and marry first and then come back to open another thread about marriage.
You can't be outside marriage and be talking about marriage.

Couples have to make it work together. Many a times, expectations from either couple when not met puts the union under threat. In marriage, a lot of sacrifice, must be the salt to savour the love for it to bond till death do them apart.

In my opinion, many marriages today don't work because of several reasons.

First, many couples don’t clearly understand or define what love and marriage really mean before getting married. Often, they confuse love with liking someone. For example, a man might want to marry a woman just because of her physical appearance—like her body shape, how she cooks, or how she looks. He may feel attracted to her and rush into marriage because he doesn’t want to lose her.

The same can happen with women. They may choose a man because of how he looks or what he has, without truly knowing his character. Later on, when they find out the person they married has a bad attitude or doesn’t meet their expectations, the relationship starts to fall apart.

This happens because they liked each other but didn’t truly love each other. A relationship built only on attraction or liking cannot last. Real love must be present for a marriage to work. Love is not based on looks or temporary feelings—true love is unconditional.

Both people need to love and like each other before they decide to get married. That’s what helps a marriage last.

Minimum wage also contribute

Lack of respect for themselves and each other. Once you are married you are one and equal in the sight of God. When one start requesting and demanding impossible things they have watched on YouTube or read online or heard in beer parlor, na when problem begin be that.

Most marriages collapse nowadays because most women don't have any investment in the marriage.

1. The bills for most marriages are paid by the man .

2. Most of the house upkeep expenses are by men
Once a man income is reduced, they port without any form of perseverance.

Mumu talk…. Sex soul tie ko, sex soul suit ni.

Hhh4444:
No dey compare our parents time and this present time. Things have really changed now. Marriage lasted in the olden days than today.

keep giving excuses for marrying rubbish.

people are still marrying right and Gods will in these days

Amotolongbo:
“Reason why marriages aren’t lasting again”.
Were marriages lasting before?
Tell me the time/period when marriages were lasting

Were you born out of wedlock?

cutecommend:
Marriage is a beautiful thing to be enjoyed and not endured. And if several marriages lasted in the past, why are many marriages failing today? Why are several people scared of getting married, when in the past, it was not so.

Reasons Why Marriages Fail Today.

(1) Waste of Emotions in Dating: Some have wasted their emotions with wrong people while dating to the point that their current emotions may not be good enough for marriage. Marrying with damaged emotions or with a person that has damaged emotions may lead to divorce.

(2) Sex Soul-Tie: Sex soul-tie is like a covenant established during pre-marital or extra-marital sex. This is what probably makes some married persons go back to their exes for sex e.t.c. Some married persons may have to imagine their Exes during sex with their spouse, just to probably feel fulfilled.

(3) Too Many Bad Persons: The number of good people seem fewer than before, so picking a good spouse today is by God's grace.

Again, many people have red flags in them.

(4) Wrong Gender Equality: If a woman can submit to her boss or pastor, she has no tangible reason not to submit to her husband. Again, a man is not to share his responsibilities with his wife. He is to provide for her and love her.
If this cannot work, couples may separate for a while, get fixed and come back again.

(5) Undue High Standard: Looking for extreme expectations.

(6) Lack of Humility and Unwillingness to Change: A man with a bad character should not be preaching submission. He should change his ways.

If couples are humble and do well to work on themselves, marriage can go well.

Some people tie it to zodiac sign

Demigod22:
Our generation is not cut out for marriage. We are too sophisticated and nonconformists to respect the values in which marriage is built upon.

What generation was cut out for marriage? The generation of your ancestors who were notorious for abandoning wives and children, even for the slightest or just because? Or the generation that shamed abandoned women, labelling them outcasts to keep them from revealing they were abandoned, and why? Or are you referring to the Gen X's who still don't realize that abandonment is pretty much the same as divorce without a formal announcement?

Zionmdde:
➜It's simple. Why did you marry the person?? That question answers surrounding widespread divorces
In our world today people just want to do because others are doing, He has money, she has big front and back.
➜ Nobody trusts each other, even vigilante don't do up to what married people do to investigate their spouse. On a lighter note, due to the widespread brest and nyash parading everywhere, a man who Remains faithful needs a trophy

It has always been that way... I mean people doing things because others are doing it too. Divorce has always been a part of society, just that it is now more visible than it used to be. Abandonment culture used to be what it operated as, where the abandoned were subjected to shame, misery, and silence, forced to live in shame. Now that is thankfully no more the case.

2. Trust is something that is earned over a lifetime, not given for free just because one wishes to play the marriage game. Humans are generally untrustworthy; this is our fact. So, marriage pretending that trust is the key is already a marriage built on a lie.

jetwonder:
Social media is one of the things that affects marriages negatively. Our women has grown wings!!!

Really? Back in 1981, the official divorce rate recorded in parts of Northern Nigeria, including Plateau State, was at about 80%. Was it social media to blame for that trend back then, too?

Of course, someone might come here to argue that the picture was a lot different in the South, to which I would respond that spousal/marriage abandonment in the South is also divorce(only without the official reporting of it). Fortunately, the government has criminalized spousal/marriage abandonment, forcing many to now seek divorce as a way out of marriage instead of abandonment, which used to be the default for many in the South.

arantess:
➜so in your lineage marriage no dey last abi wetin you dey talk? my parent have done 35 years, is that not lasting? i have seen 70 years marriage. is that not lasting enough for you? Don't judge marriages by your own experiences in and around you oo. forget social media, marriages are doing well

Can you, in all honesty,live exactly like your mother had to for those 35 years of her life? Can you tell us that you would gladly do anything to become just like that woman who lived 70 years of her life in that marriage you mentioned?

Telling us some marriages lasted for as long as they did has no meaning. Rather, making it plain to us that you would gladly trade places and life with the particular women— not as any other women— who lived through those set marriages, is what would peak our interest the most.