Nigerian Marriages always appear solid and formidable until the union gets a visa. The moment it passes through the UK Point of Entry, it starts to develop cracks until it takes more falls than the Naira under the current Tinubu administration. In this piece, I will be taking a dive into the common reasons why Nigerian marriages struggle on UK soil.

(1). Personal Vendetta:
Marriage as an institution in Nigeria is modeled around patriarchy - a system of male dominance. In this case, the man is the king while the woman is the queen. As you know, the king dominates the queen, and nothing he does is wrong in most cases (especially for the wealthy men). The woman could be forced to endure physical, verbal, psychological, financial abuse, and lots more. She stands to get mocked if her marriage crashes. This creates age-long bitterness and a cold war in the union. Women have a long memory and they hardly forgive. The moment the marriage transits to a society that gives women an upper hand against men, they come for their pound of flesh like Shylock. This destroys the foundation and subsequently brings it to an end.

(2). Level Playing field:
Marriage in Nigeria is a bit lopsided in terms of the professional profiles of the couples. In some cases, the husband might be a doctor while the wife might be selling beauty products or other petty items that cannot sustain her financially. The man steps in, and this gives him an undue edge in the marriage. In the UK where a hard-working bartender can match a nurse financially, and there is a level playing ground, power changes hands. The man who might be an alpha male loses that edge. This kind of equality - an unfamiliar territory for the man, if not well-managed might be the collapse of the marriage.

(3). Cultural Issues:
In the UK, the difference between a man and a woman might be that one menstruates and the other doesn't. In fact, people switch genders according to their moods. In simple terms, there is no duty/responsibility that is totally exclusive to a man or woman. Over here, men go to the market, clean, wash, cook, babysit, run errands, and also fund the home. Local champions who are used to being served like emperors by their wives might struggle to cope with the new environment and could feel short-changed.

(4). Busy Schedules:
It is no longer news that the cost of living in the UK is as high as a COVID-19 patient's temperature. In my previous articles, I have overemphasized how people inevitably work for long hours in order to cope with rising living expenses and financial demands from their families back home. This might affect bonding between young couples and reduce intimacy. Most times, when one party is ready for a "mid-section parley", the other might be unavailable due to conflicting shift patterns, not being in the mood due to mental or physical stress. This gradually takes a negative toll on the marriage.

(5). Women Are Powerful Abroad:
In the West, there are checks to prevent the domination of women by men. This has made women so powerful. In the event of a conflict, the odds are always against the men. The Spanish FA chief, Luis Rubiales learned the hard way for controversially kissing midfielder, Jennifer Hermoso at the recently concluded 2023 Women's World Cup. Also in February 2021, Yoshiro Mori - head of the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games Organising Committee, was coerced into resigning after saying 'women talk too much in meetings'. Former Manchester United player, Mason Greenwood apparently ruined his career due to struggles with his partner. In marriage, some women mischievously abuse their powers. A colleague lost his marriage of 5 years after his wife reportedly abused him physically multiple times. A behaviour that was never evident in Nigeria according to him.

(6). Cheating:
A randy man who is obsessed with beautiful women would easily make mistakes in the UK. The UK exposes you to numerous women of different shapes, forms, and beauty. If you think you have seen it all, you need to see the Jamaican, Somalian, Pakistani, Iranian, curvy Kenyans, and some pretty Indian women. It is not just how they look alone but what they are wearing. Some of them might fancy you and might be willing to hand you the cookie on a platter of gold. There are also several single mothers who have nothing to lose. They are ready to 'share it' graciously like the Federal Government palliatives across their community. One person's husband might be hooked to the detriment of his marriage.

(7). Finances:
Another area of challenge in a UK home is money. In an informal survey I personally conducted, I realized it is the most common problem around. It is extremely difficult for a man to singlehandedly foot the household bills in the UK. Paying for everything is easily obtainable in Nigeria where the cost of living is lower. A woman who is used to the Nigerian system might be hoarding cash, and under-declaring her finances. This is done to force the man to fill the vacuum. This creates discontentment, and over time, frustration starts to hit the man. He might be tempted to seek solace outside the marriage to boost his mental health.

Osahon George Osayimwen is a Journalist and a Developmental Psychologist. He writes from the South Yorkshire region of England.

Another UK topic. Hmnnnn

marriage fails because of selfishness.

Oyinbo country self too get wahala.

You cannot discipline your wife as one can do in Nigeria... Your wife can wake up and call police for you and police will ask you to leave your home.

You cannot scold your kids, if you do so and the authority get to know, they will take away your kids and hand them over to a foster parent.

And this is the place some people are selling their assets to go

My prayer to all Nigeria men suffering under their wives in various oyinbo country.

Olosho plenty for UK here

And people are still relocating there with family.
Na men I blame pass. We too mumu

Reading...

Hmmm

Only 1 reason.

Nigerian women are deceitful lying beings whom no one should ever trust

Okay

The main reason is that in UK people stop pretending and show their real self.

Here in Nigeria 99.9% of marriages are pretend-marriage.

Remove the social signma associated with single motherhood or divorcee and watch most of the marriage pack up.

May my sister's not fail, Amen.

Quite honestly, even if I'm offered a free visa to the UK, I won't take it. Never liked that place for one bit. I'll rather live in Russia than the UK.

I never go UK.

One thing I know is Nigeria no fit better pass UK. If not why UK citizens no dey write exams and fight and go to church just to come naija.

Abeg.

UK culture be like core northern Muslim culture to an Igbo man.

If an Igbo man can survive in sokoto despite their Islamic nature why not UK.

Omoh. Make u na know say all this na lies full am.

In Nigeria we have many reasons marriage is not working

Poverty poverty

Q

So, in UK wife don't use to do house chores and cooking as they do in naija? Going by your number 3 submission.

It's easy for woman to forget where she comes from because whenever woman touch money and power , she suddenly become feminist unknowly and its killing marriage in abroad

Change of environment too..

Tufiakwa! Even If I move over to the UK, I trust God for my marriage to remain intact because happiness in marriage depends on the mutual love, respect, & understanding you have with your wife. And above all, the God factor both of you believe in and uphold.

Why would a woman you brought overseas become loyal when she now has so many options to explore. It will always go downhill cos the love is no longer there

I don't think that I can stay in Uk

When a woman loves things around you and not you

I have seen girls falling for guys with good cars good house but when they start getting bored of those things they start looking for who they really loved unconditionally

According to the Nairaland Classification model i built, this news is correctly placed in the FAMILY category. I will be posting the tutorial soon of how I built this with Tensorflow which is a Python deep learning library. Give me a follow

Crashing like Federal Government's palliatives. Lol

8 Nigeria girls are ungrateful, take them to the UK and all they will be looking for is how to stab you in the back .

I pray for our guys that the ladies have betray over there , may they find peace

Not only UK, once a Nigerian woman gets to an European country all in d name of marriage, d husband should see it as a 50/50 risk.