₦airaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: RegisterLoginWith GoogleTrendingRecentNew

Stats: 3,325,379 members, 8,421,631 topics. Date: Saturday, 06 June 2026 at 06:30 PM

Toggle theme

Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyHelp! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity (2026 Views)

1 2 3 Reply (Go Down)

Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Leep(op): 3:59pm On Jul 23, 2025
Bahamas95:
I stopped reading half way because I was getting angry, my mum did similar things for people but they all repaid her with evil so I swore never to follow that path.

I set boundaries when helping people, OP you made a big mistake allowing them to turn you to their maga......These same people will soon start raining insults on you once you stop helping them because of entitlement mentality.


You better quit now before it gets too late.
Honestly, they will soon start insulting me. I regret why I even started in the first place
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Leep(op): 4:00pm On Jul 23, 2025
Double0h7:
I’m a generous person but your story angered me and I had to stop reading. I need to process this and come back later to finish my thesis.
Honestly I feel sorry for myself. I feel stupid
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Leep(op): 4:02pm On Jul 23, 2025
Cum4me:
Try park from that environment and never repeat such generosity in your next environment. Use your head before them use am for you
I wish I had the means to park out of same environment. I've already put myself in trouble. As I'm about to stop now, it will result in insults from same people. This life!
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by larryUG(m): 4:03pm On Jul 23, 2025
No one cares about you. Understand this and know peace. if anything happens to you and you get incapacitated, all those people will stop greeting you sef. I wonder what is driving you to be this loose, it is def not generosity. Myaybe you want to be liked by everybody and be seen as a ''nice guy''. Like Shettima saidf, Nice guys dont make it, they sell Ice cream. Keep being nice, believe me you wont achieve anything even when you start making better income. Should you not help people? not at all, but have boundaries.I dont even know what to say, just shocking at how you are being used and still gullible about it.
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Leep(op): 4:04pm On Jul 23, 2025
samwash:
If you know you can't cope just leave that environment. You need to set boundaries, this life nor too hard, na we dey make ham dey different for ourselves.
Wish I have the resources to pack out. That's just the best
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Leep(op): 4:05pm On Jul 23, 2025
Foodqueen:
Your monicker carries female. It's only male bachelors that I know act this why.

Why would you allow yourself to be used like this. This same people are busy calling you maga behind you.
I'm male
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Leep(op): 4:06pm On Jul 23, 2025
Kaido:
I stopped being Mr Nice Guy in 2020.

Make I shock you OP, if one of those people you are assisting eventually gets a huge some of money, you can never smell their #400 to buy a bag of pure water.

Currently, I only help who fit help me tomorrow or if you genuinely need kindness, I go assist without expecting anything.

Finally, you need to reprogram your mind to always say NO and resist that urge of buying anything for those kids. A parent might accuse you of bewitching her kids with biscuits. Just dey careful
You're right bro. I am tired of human beings
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by sacajawea(m): 4:19pm On Jul 23, 2025
Mtchewwwww.
Comedy
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by sacajawea(m): 4:20pm On Jul 23, 2025
Total Comedy.
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Jozilinn: 4:42pm On Jul 23, 2025
I'm so broke right now to feed is a problem, the lesson I. Did till today almost almost 3
months the woman refused to pay me for it... Responsibility here and there Wan finish me and last few months it's the same me giving someone 5k, 8k imagine me asked for money before doing something and I do pay even with extra at times I don't use it.
I see laughter here and there because they have noticed things aren't well with me and honestly I don't blame them.

Be good but never try to please people they don't appreciate you.
Me that gave out Glo Café cheat to my neighbors immediately I asked them to share me wifi they said I have used mine and I never knew not until someone told me... The other one off hers, the next one he changed password... And it's 75G for a day.

Now how do you expect me to do good again for such people, leave people matter leave spirit guard yourself before you become beggar as na only garri I dey drink since I just dey indoors make I cook now na my room their children go come stay.

Leave people oh, reduce the way you spend money, even if you're helping tell the person you're helping that they shouldn't tell anyone or you'll stop. Just don't make it too often.
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Truvelisback(m): 4:48pm On Jul 23, 2025
You caused it. You wanted to impress everyone. Moreover, i am not discouraging you not to give to people but you must use wisdom. Do not do it frequently or an everyday thing. Only do so when it's necessary. As for me, if i give you something and you keep telling people making it look like i am a mugu or FatherChristmas, you will never receive a dime from me again.
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Jozilinn: 5:06pm On Jul 23, 2025
Leep:
Brethren, I'm lost here. How do I handle this without creating any atom of conflict?

I've been living in this neighborhood for almost five years. As a young man still struggling, I understand what people, especially the married ones with children, go through, when you consider the economy of Nigeria and the poor income.

I'm an introvert. I appear very shy but I'm not, in fact. I don't just believe in talking too much, especially unnecessarily. I'm gentle and seemingly soft. I want to see people happy even if it's at my own detriment. I'm incurably and incredibly Generous to people and it's really affecting me. I'm too softhearted.
In my neighborhood, I have little children I always buy things for. Almost everyday, I'm buying something for a child or children around my vicinity. Coke, biscuits and sometimes clothes. Same goes to their parents who are largely unschooled, I give them money and buy them malt. Thing is, once I do for one person privately, the person goes to tell another, and they keep coming. The cycle just continues like that. There's a particular widow who is a farmer with five children, I assist her with little money almost every week. I do this because my spirit asked me to do so, not because the widow asked me. I have in my own little way assisted almost everyone around here, not because I have, but because that's who I am. I am not doing so to please anyone or get praised.
I'm not married, I don't even have a good job, I live in a room self-con and sometimes struggle to feed.
The issue now is, whenever these children see me, they now see me as their father Christmas. Once they spot me, it's how they can take money off me that they are concerned about. Now let's agree they are children and know nothing much about life. Now how about their parents(Mothers)?. These women can beg for Africa. I've been turned into a fool(according to them). If they come across me in a provision shop trying to buy a sachet of pure water for myself, they will come and meet me to buy something for them. This happens all the time. At first, I used to think they were joking. But no they aren't joking.
I have a woman neighbor who had just put to bed three months ago. She sells pure water and minerals right in her house. When she gave birth, I went to greet her, gave the baby some money. Then after two weeks, I saw her again, I jokingly said I would get the baby Hollandia yoghurt, the next day, I gave her a thousand naira for the baby to buy the Hollandia yoghurt but to my dismay, she collected it and said that the money wasn't enough for the yoghurt and I added a thousand five hundred naira- of course, I know the baby doesn't drink yoghurt. At least not now. This is a woman that I buy her drinks and water everyday, I buy for her children and even give them money. I pay her over three thousand for drinks and water every week. Again, I saw her carrying her baby in the sun 🌞, I met her on the road and asked why she wasn't Carrying an umbrella, but she said she didn't have. She now said, "Abi u get umbrella for house make I come carry am dey use" ?. In my mind, I said, no vex o.. na me find trouble. Just yesterday, while I went to pay to pay her for drinks and water her children and a few other children consumed, immediately I approached her house and asked of the children about his mum, the woman even before coming out to attend to me, first asked if I came with Bread. " Hope u bring bread for us"? I asked her which Bread, with which money?. Once her children hear my voice, the six of them would come outside to wait for me so I can share money with them.
If I go out to buy something in a nylon, they want to know what is in the nylon. If I'm going out, they will tell me not to forget them o. All these are getting me really irritated. I'm someone who can not be predicted. My anger isn't good and if I'm pushed to the wall, I can react in manner that even me would end up regretting why I reacted in such manner.
The troubling part is, these are not people that have ever helped me in any way. They can't even help. There was a day I took a bike to my house and discovered I wasn't having anything in my wallet, and it was very late. I couldn't go out again to use the POS, so I collected three hundred naira from one of the women who benefits from me and paid the bike-man. Do you know that, before I woke up the next morning, same woman had sent her son to knock on my door to get her money back?. There are times I can't even afford pure water to drink, and I can't run to such people for help. I'm really worried because I've been taken advantage of. It's really very embarrassing and insulting to me right now.
We should be able to help one another. That's my philosophy about life, but it seems being nice to some certain persons is now a big problem. The day you stop, you become an enemy. My issue is, I hardly say no to their incessant and unnecessary requests.
Same thing goes to my family, I don't have parents or siblings. But my cousins won't let me rest. Once they try to chat you up on the social media, just know that they are about to make financial demands on you. If they call and you don't pick, they complain too. I'm tired. Should I change my line and social media accounts? I don't think so.

Nlfpmod Seun Lalasticlala Mynd44
My elder sis gave out her phone to my neighbor kid because the mum said he needs it due to the BECE examination for jss3. That after examination he will return it.
Now the other issue is that my cousin sister kids who are little use that phone for movies and cartoon.
But still we agreed to give them my cousin sister wanted to go to PTA and asked the boy to give it to her then it was already Friday evening as per say weekend no school.
Saturday they'll have PTA she didn't want to take the kids so they'll be busy on the phone.

My elder sister came home and saw the phone with her kids no greeting, she refuse to even accept greetings... In front of the woman other 2 kids inside she started shouting why did you collect the phone, what will their mother think? Is it your own it's mine leave the phone.

My cousin sister tried to explain next she started crying and she started saying did she do anything wrong to it was just for 1 day... From the incidence she started crying then she cried herself to sleep saying the insult that my elder sister said to her in language that she was a burden and very soon she would be do everything to make her leave.

I finally asked her not to go and took a plea on her behalf because the next morning her eyes were swollen.


From that day onward the mother of the boy brings food stuff we even reject some at times... Now since 2weeks examination has been done and dusted nobody from my neighbors house has come to return this phone... My cousin sister was warned at work after she explained everything to remove her mind for the phone and give her kids hers... She told them why she doesn't give her kids. Because the screen was pulling out but she will try to get them a little children tab.

My elder sister is complaining saying next time they'll Come for it. Her boyfriend was so angry he wanted to collect it but she started saying it's hers then he told her he doesn't want to hear her complaint period.



It's because of you I still posted this to let you know that if you always think about how others see you, you would just end up hurting yourself more.
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by henrycloud:
The problem is that you currently lack wisdom and are the type of person who considers what people say and likes. You want everybody to like you, but it will never happen.

Now, have you ever taken note of the parable of the 10 virgins in the bible?

The five who refused to give out their extra oil were called WISE. If they had, for instance, considered that they would be called stingy and all sorts and given out the oil, they, too, would have been FOOLISH.

You must know what is givable and in your case, not much.

If you want to go FAR in life, you must learn to say NO. and as it is, right now, you have to learn it. So what can you do?



1. Write reminder notes on your walls, diary, and phone saying I WILL NOT BE FiNANCIALLY FOOLISH

2. Travel somewhere for the weekend or a week (This is to help activate the new you)

3. On return, zero your face, respond to the kids' greeting without a smile. Greet anyone outside and ignore any conversation they may try to bring up like where are you coming from, did you buy bread etc.....even if it means snubbing them.

4. Your will, spirit, tongue, and heart will fight you, but remember that you have determined NOT to BE FiNANCIALLY FOOLISH

5. Whoever comes for financial assistance, tell the person eyahh that you are currently looking for 5.6 million to execute an urgent project. Keep saying this. I believe this will be easier for you as you develop the mental muscle of saying NOOOOOO.

6. Avoid discussing with neighbors, sitting outside together, and interfering in others' conversations—no matter how much they interest you.

7. Start saving to relocate before your rent is due. This is because you have already spoilt things here. So getting a new place will give you the chance to start better.

8. Strategise on how to become financially better.

9. Study your bible.

10. Avoid nonsense.
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Leep(op): 6:07pm On Jul 23, 2025
henrycloud:
The problem is that you currently lack wisdom, probably immature too
Nawao oo..
You're really uncouth and ill-mannered.
Why these insults for God's sakes?
If u were mature and had wisdom, you wouldn't utter this
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by henrycloud: 6:20pm On Jul 23, 2025
Leep:
Nawao oo..
You're really uncouth and ill-mannered.
Why these insults for God's sakes?
If u were mature and had wisdom, you wouldn't utter this
I wasn't done. Go and read again.
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by correctguy101(m): 6:46pm On Jul 23, 2025
iamoyindamola:
I thought your spirit led you, let your spirit continue to lead you to spend all your earnings
My own spirit no go fit try that kind of play with me... When e never mad. grin

Until e touch am, e no go know say e don use future investment money do philanthropist... Poor man wey no know himself, na so e dey be...

Gods, I was almost like this until life taught me....

He'll eventually learn or maybe not... SMH
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by ZombieDredd: 6:51pm On Jul 23, 2025
Esthered:
Wisdom is profitable to direct. You see you're being used but you don't want to stop by virtue of your response to someone up there.

When you fall financially, they'll mock you saying "what did he do with all the money..."

Tomorrow isn't promised but you must plan as people perish for lack of vision. If you have plans for your life, you'll set boundaries and cut all unnecessary generosity....
You took the words from my mouth abi hand sef.

Giving is good but this his own get as e be

E no make sense at all
This one no follow
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by iamoyindamola(m): 6:54pm On Jul 23, 2025
correctguy101:
My own spirit no go fit try that kind of play with me... When e never mad. grin

Until e touch am, e no go know say e don use future investment money do philanthropist... Poor man wey no know himself, na so e dey be...

Gods, I was almost like this until life taught me....

He'll eventually learn or maybe not... SMH
Exactly he say spirit🤣🤣
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by correctguy101(m): 6:55pm On Jul 23, 2025
henrycloud:
The problem is that you currently lack wisdom and are the type of person who considers what people say and likes. You want everybody to like you, but it will never happen.

Now, have you ever taken note of the parable of the 10 virgins in the bible?

The five who refused to give out their extra oil were called WISE. If they had, for instance, considered that they would be called stingy and all sorts and given out the oil, they, too, would have been FOOLISH.

You must know what is givable and in your case, not much.

If you want to go FAR in life, you must learn to say NO. and as it is, right now, you have to learn it. So what can you do?



1. Write reminder notes on your walls, diary, and phone saying I WILL NOT BE FiNANCIALLY FOOLISH

2. Travel somewhere for the weekend or a week (This is to help activate the new you)

3. On return, zero your face, respond to the kids' greeting without a smile. Greet anyone outside and ignore any conversation they may try to bring up like where are you coming from, did you buy bread etc.....even if it means snubbing them.

4. Your will, spirit, tongue, and heart will fight you, but remember that you have determined NOT to BE FiNANCIALLY FOOLISH

5. Whoever comes for financial assistance, tell the person eyahh that you are currently looking for 5.6 million to execute an urgent project. Keep saying this. I believe this will be easier for you as you develop the mental muscle of saying NOOOOOO.

6. Avoid discussing with neighbors, sitting outside together, and interfering in others' conversations—no matter how much they interest you.

7. Start saving to relocate before your rent is due. This is because you have already spoilt things here. So getting a new place will give you the chance to start better.

8. Strategise on how to become financially better.

9. Study your bible.

10. Avoid nonsense.
I did number 5. But I was using 200k. Until one person shamelessly asked na everytime you dey need 200k? You wey dey pay 2 boys salary... I just squeeze face tell the werey say: you no go understand....

Me that'll lock doors if I'm inside, if you don't call before coming don't bother knocking as I won't open the door. Especially after I spy whose outside.
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by ZombieDredd: 6:58pm On Jul 23, 2025
Leep:
I already know your likes, so I'm really not surprised at your comment. Try read to understand next time
You don't want to take correction

You cannot and can never save the world.
Only Jesus can do that.

What you are engaging in is financial recklessness.

Tell this same story to you parents and see the response you will get.

You can't save everyone, you will go broke and they will still mock you
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Leep(op): 7:10pm On Jul 23, 2025
ZombieDredd:
You don't want to take correction

You cannot and can never save the world.
Only Jesus can do that.

What you are engaging in is financial recklessness.

Tell this same story to you parents and see the response you will get.

You can't save everyone, you will go broke and they will still mock you
I'm not sure u even read my story, you just jumped into making this comment without reading first. If you read it, you'd see where I talked about my parents.
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Mistaresa(m): 7:37pm On Jul 23, 2025
I just have one word for u but I no go talk am.....
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by dominique(mod): 8:00pm On Jul 23, 2025
Leep:
Honestly I feel sorry for myself. I feel stupid
Leep:
Honestly, they will soon start insulting me. I regret why I even started in the first place
Serial beggar get lost! Nobody is going to ask for your account number. Don't go and find something tangible to do, be creating new accounts to post superstories.
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by budaatum:
Leep:
We should be able to help one another. That's my philosophy about life, but it seems being nice to some certain persons is now a big problem.
You remind me when half my UK wages got sent home to help people and the people kept multiplying.

When I went home to be with my father for a while and spent my time farming, my village people would never see me going but would always see me returning and ask what I brought back for them.

I eventually learnt their spirit does not tell them what mine tells me and their philosophy is different to mine. I also learnt to say no to them and my spirit.
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Talkisneeded(m): 8:58pm On Jul 23, 2025
Gotocourt:
I've got a friend I hosted freely for 4years now, I gave him 4 months quick notice in advance. Baba has been trying to act nice all this while but I can't continue due to Tinubu matters. Baba go dey monitor me for my house 🤔. Being too nice brings see finish especially amongst trenches people.
Avoid them
Wetin trenches people do una now,as for the lady,the lord is her strength..
There should be limit to how much you can give or take,at this age one learnt to put my wellbeing first
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by weslay: 10:41pm On Jul 23, 2025
Leep:
Brethren, I'm lost here. How do I handle this without creating any atom of conflict?

I've been living in this neighborhood for almost five years. As a young man still struggling, I understand what people, especially the married ones with children, go through, when you consider the economy of Nigeria and the poor income.

I'm an introvert. I appear very shy but I'm not, in fact. I don't just believe in talking too much, especially unnecessarily. I'm gentle and seemingly soft. I want to see people happy even if it's at my own detriment. I'm incurably and incredibly Generous to people and it's really affecting me. I'm too softhearted.
In my neighborhood, I have little children I always buy things for. Almost everyday, I'm buying something for a child or children around my vicinity. Coke, biscuits and sometimes clothes. Same goes to their parents who are largely unschooled, I give them money and buy them malt. Thing is, once I do for one person privately, the person goes to tell another, and they keep coming. The cycle just continues like that. There's a particular widow who is a farmer with five children, I assist her with little money almost every week. I do this because my spirit asked me to do so, not because the widow asked me. I have in my own little way assisted almost everyone around here, not because I have, but because that's who I am. I am not doing so to please anyone or get praised.
I'm not married, I don't even have a good job, I live in a room self-con and sometimes struggle to feed.
The issue now is, whenever these children see me, they now see me as their father Christmas. Once they spot me, it's how they can take money off me that they are concerned about. Now let's agree they are children and know nothing much about life. Now how about their parents(Mothers)?. These women can beg for Africa. I've been turned into a fool(according to them). If they come across me in a provision shop trying to buy a sachet of pure water for myself, they will come and meet me to buy something for them. This happens all the time. At first, I used to think they were joking. But no they aren't joking.
I have a woman neighbor who had just put to bed three months ago. She sells pure water and minerals right in her house. When she gave birth, I went to greet her, gave the baby some money. Then after two weeks, I saw her again, I jokingly said I would get the baby Hollandia yoghurt, the next day, I gave her a thousand naira for the baby to buy the Hollandia yoghurt but to my dismay, she collected it and said that the money wasn't enough for the yoghurt and I added a thousand five hundred naira- of course, I know the baby doesn't drink yoghurt. At least not now. This is a woman that I buy her drinks and water everyday, I buy for her children and even give them money. I pay her over three thousand for drinks and water every week. Again, I saw her carrying her baby in the sun 🌞, I met her on the road and asked why she wasn't Carrying an umbrella, but she said she didn't have. She now said, "Abi u get umbrella for house make I come carry am dey use" ?. In my mind, I said, no vex o.. na me find trouble. Just yesterday, while I went to pay her for drinks and water her children and a few other children consumed, immediately I approached her house and asked one of the children about his mum, the woman overhead me even before coming out to attend to me, she now asked if I came with Bread. " Hope u bring bread for us"? I asked her which Bread, with which money?. Once her children hear my voice, the six of them would come outside to wait for me so I can share money to them.
If I go out to buy something in a nylon, they want to know what is in the nylon. If I'm going out, they will tell me not to forget them o. All these are getting me really irritated. I'm someone who can not be predicted. My anger isn't good and if I'm pushed to the wall, I can react in manner that even me would end up regretting why I reacted in such manner.
The troubling part is, these are not people that have ever helped me in any way. They can't even help. There was a day I took a bike to my house and discovered I wasn't having anything in my wallet, and it was very late. I couldn't go out again to use the POS, so I collected three hundred naira from one of the women who benefits from me and paid the bike-man. Do you know that, before I woke up the next morning, same woman had sent her son to knock on my door to get her money back?. There are times I can't even afford pure water to drink, and I can't run to such people for help. I'm really worried because I've been taken advantage of. It's really very embarrassing and insulting to me right now.
We should be able to help one another. That's my philosophy about life, but it seems being nice to some certain persons is now a big problem. The day you stop, you become an enemy. My issue is, I hardly say no to their incessant and unnecessary requests.
Same thing goes to my family, I don't have parents or siblings. But my cousins won't let me rest. Once they try to chat you up on the social media, just know that they are about to make financial demands on you. If they call and you don't pick, they complain too. I'm tired. Should I change my line and social media accounts? I don't think so.

Nlfpmod Seun Lalasticlala Mynd44
You fear rejection and confrontation. There are unresolved issues in your childhood that is at play here.

Remember that song from Mayokun
"No let dem see you finish
Dem go finish your biscuit
Dem go finish your sweet
Shakara don end oh."

Learn to say No. Sometimes, just for the fun of it.
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by stanvesco(m): 6:07am On Jul 24, 2025
Leep:
Brethren, I'm lost here. How do I handle this without creating any atom of conflict?

I've been living in this neighborhood for almost five years. As a young man still struggling, I understand what people, especially the married ones with children, go through, when you consider the economy of Nigeria and the poor income.

I'm an introvert. I appear very shy but I'm not, in fact. I don't just believe in talking too much, especially unnecessarily. I'm gentle and seemingly soft. I want to see people happy even if it's at my own detriment. I'm incurably and incredibly Generous to people and it's really affecting me. I'm too softhearted.
In my neighborhood, I have little children I always buy things for. Almost everyday, I'm buying something for a child or children around my vicinity. Coke, biscuits and sometimes clothes. Same goes to their parents who are largely unschooled, I give them money and buy them malt. Thing is, once I do for one person privately, the person goes to tell another, and they keep coming. The cycle just continues like that. There's a particular widow who is a farmer with five children, I assist her with little money almost every week. I do this because my spirit asked me to do so, not because the widow asked me. I have in my own little way assisted almost everyone around here, not because I have, but because that's who I am. I am not doing so to please anyone or get praised.
I'm not married, I don't even have a good job, I live in a room self-con and sometimes struggle to feed.
The issue now is, whenever these children see me, they now see me as their father Christmas. Once they spot me, it's how they can take money off me that they are concerned about. Now let's agree they are children and know nothing much about life. Now how about their parents(Mothers)?. These women can beg for Africa. I've been turned into a fool(according to them). If they come across me in a provision shop trying to buy a sachet of pure water for myself, they will come and meet me to buy something for them. This happens all the time. At first, I used to think they were joking. But no they aren't joking.
I have a woman neighbor who had just put to bed three months ago. She sells pure water and minerals right in her house. When she gave birth, I went to greet her, gave the baby some money. Then after two weeks, I saw her again, I jokingly said I would get the baby Hollandia yoghurt, the next day, I gave her a thousand naira for the baby to buy the Hollandia yoghurt but to my dismay, she collected it and said that the money wasn't enough for the yoghurt and I added a thousand five hundred naira- of course, I know the baby doesn't drink yoghurt. At least not now. This is a woman that I buy her drinks and water everyday, I buy for her children and even give them money. I pay her over three thousand for drinks and water every week. Again, I saw her carrying her baby in the sun 🌞, I met her on the road and asked why she wasn't Carrying an umbrella, but she said she didn't have. She now said, "Abi u get umbrella for house make I come carry am dey use" ?. In my mind, I said, no vex o.. na me find trouble. Just yesterday, while I went to pay her for drinks and water her children and a few other children consumed, immediately I approached her house and asked one of the children about his mum, the woman overhead me even before coming out to attend to me, she now asked if I came with Bread. " Hope u bring bread for us"? I asked her which Bread, with which money?. Once her children hear my voice, the six of them would come outside to wait for me so I can share money to them.
If I go out to buy something in a nylon, they want to know what is in the nylon. If I'm going out, they will tell me not to forget them o. All these are getting me really irritated. I'm someone who can not be predicted. My anger isn't good and if I'm pushed to the wall, I can react in manner that even me would end up regretting why I reacted in such manner.
The troubling part is, these are not people that have ever helped me in any way. They can't even help. There was a day I took a bike to my house and discovered I wasn't having anything in my wallet, and it was very late. I couldn't go out again to use the POS, so I collected three hundred naira from one of the women who benefits from me and paid the bike-man. Do you know that, before I woke up the next morning, same woman had sent her son to knock on my door to get her money back?. There are times I can't even afford pure water to drink, and I can't run to such people for help. I'm really worried because I've been taken advantage of. It's really very embarrassing and insulting to me right now.
We should be able to help one another. That's my philosophy about life, but it seems being nice to some certain persons is now a big problem. The day you stop, you become an enemy. My issue is, I hardly say no to their incessant and unnecessary requests.
Same thing goes to my family, I don't have parents or siblings. But my cousins won't let me rest. Once they try to chat you up on the social media, just know that they are about to make financial demands on you. If they call and you don't pick, they complain too. I'm tired. Should I change my line and social media accounts? I don't think so.

Nlfpmod Seun Lalasticlala Mynd44
You are buying their love unconsciously. This is stemming from the fact that you don't have parents or siblings!

You need to see a psychologist so you can undergoes a psychotherapeutic session.
You are using money to buy love and attention and that's the most devastating thing one can do!


Lol!
If you were a bad boy this would have being the most seductive tool in your hand! However,you are like osho-free now. The male version of a loose girl.

You know the way men despise ladies that give out sex freely to everyone? That's how those women and children would despise you for giving out things to everyone without collecting anything in return!


It's easy for you to flip the coin tho but as a professional I cannot type such here
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by haggai247: 6:15am On Jul 24, 2025
Haven't you hear/read the story of the farmer who can hear the animals speak?

Go and listen to the richest man in Babylon but here's the moral of the story.

In your quest to help someone make sure you don't bring their burden on yourself.

I gave this story to a guy I meet recently he was a scarb dealer.

This guy is generous to a fault behind his back they call him (mumu Moses)

He will help and like helping people however the ijaw culture always see people helping as fools (my less than 2 months of living with them says it all).

If you're a generous person here(bayelsa or river state waterside) you'll lose your shirt.

Or given or stand as a garrantor for them loan or whatever: just ready to pay the money.

This guy will do everything to help them without collecting a dime but when he borrows from them they'll add interest.( gbanasa)

Not just interest ooo gbanasa compounding interest

This guy sold his house when he was in trouble and couldnt pay the interest

Now he told me he's still owing people I was like how?

You use your profit to help people and borrow money to fund your business

He borrowed money and it's compounding.

I just shake my head and decide to stay far away from him.

I like him a lot but he's a time bomb waiting to explode.

I don't want to be around him or in the target area when bad things happen.
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Nobody: 7:47am On Jul 24, 2025
Just go and register the charity organisation. We will keep the charity alive in your memory.
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Loisemm2(f): 8:49am On Jul 24, 2025
grin Are you aware that if anything bad happens to any kid or even adult you give edibles to, you will be held responsible. And are you aware that the mentality of the people in your environment won't let them reason with you. They may even kpai or seriously maim you before help comes. Or if it doesn't get to this, your name could be soiled for something you truly had no hand in.

Probably if you keep this in mind, you will stop risking your reputation and life in that environment.

In this life, where possible its better to give money and non-edibles than edibles. In your case, stop all for now or reduce all drastically. They will respect you more. Seems ironic.
Re: Help! My Neighbors And Relations Are Taking Undue Advantage Of My Generosity by Leep(op): 10:34am On Jul 24, 2025
stanvesco:
You are buying their love unconsciously. This is stemming from the fact that you don't have parents or siblings!

You need to see a psychologist so you can undergoes a psychotherapeutic session.
You are using money to buy love and attention and that's the most devastating thing one can do!


Lol!
If you were a bad boy this would have being the most seductive tool in your hand! However,you are like osho-free now. The male version of a loose girl.

You know the way men despise ladies that give out sex freely to everyone? That's how those women and children would despise you for giving out things to everyone without collecting anything in return!


It's easy for you to flip the coin tho but as a professional I cannot type such here
Some of you are so uncouth
1 2 3 Reply

Please, How Do You Handle Neighbors And Their Unending Attitude Of Borrowing?I Don’t Talk With My Neighbors. What To DoI Am Growing Fond Of My Neighbors Husband234

Cost Of Writing A Will.How Many Of You Have Contacted Ivyblue After The Rumours Of Her Death?Three Major Reasons Why Every Home Must Have A CCTV Camera.