₦airaland Forum

You better forge ahead, people will always talk.

Christianoir:
➜I see people saying you shouldn’t care about what people say but I’ve been trying it not working because people might say bad thing about me and I will start thinking about it for days
How do I get that I don’t care attitude I know inot possible not to care but at least I don’t want people opinions to weigh we down
How do you guys do it Please suggest guys It weighing me down

You don't really need an "I don't care," attitude to have a healthy self-esteem and sense of self. You simply need to investigate the state of your mental health and work towards treating any issues you may have been carrying around with you.

If depression is the underlying reason for any of what you describe, for example, I would suggest you make an appointment with a professional mental health therapist and stick to recommended treatment for as long as is necessary.

For this great tinubulation wey we dey for so? You still dey look uche face? E be like say everywhere still soft for your side.🥱

Christianoir:
I see people saying you shouldn’t care about what people say but I’ve been trying it not working because people might say bad thing about me and I will start thinking about it for days

How do I get that I don’t care attitude
I know inot possible not to care but at least I don’t want people opinions to weigh we down

How do you guys do it
Please suggest guys
It weighing me down

JUST ALWAYS REMEMBER THEY SPOKE ALL KINDS OF ILL AND CRUCIFIED JESUS. ARE YOU BETTER THAN HIM?

Christianoir:
I see people saying you shouldn’t care about what people say but I’ve been trying it not working because people might say bad thing about me and I will start thinking about it for days

How do I get that I don’t care attitude
I know inot possible not to care but at least I don’t want people opinions to weigh we down

How do you guys do it
Please suggest guys
It weighing me down

I don't know if you are on X Twitter Op. Watch this video and peradventure you can't find succour after watching the video, then you are irredeemable.

This is why your happiness should Neverrr come second 💪🔥 pic.twitter.com/wZ3octF004

— Fem Mindset (@fem_mindset) June 17, 2025

emkz:
By showing that things don't get to you.

Before you engage some people, give it time, and do not jump to prove yourself to anyone.

That is where many people miss it.

Here on Nairaland, I used to mistake and respond to some fellows. After baiting you with insults, they'd now report you to the moderators, and you'd earn a ban. When I realized the game, I told myself that someone at my level or better than me would not insult me. It is only those who are below and feel inadequate who say nasty things about others. There was one case where someone was attacking me. I realized later that the person had personal struggles of depression and petulant behavioural disorder. It doesn't reflect on you; it reflects on them. So disengage so you don't put yourself under their power.

Instead of engaging, see them as those not doing enough and need validation from your acknowledgement of their insults. Withdraw that acknowledgement and watch them frustrated. Their frustration is your victory.

Finally, read books on mind control and meditation. It would help you take control of your thoughts. Please never let anyone provoke you with insults. Someone insulted me, threatened me that I'd be fired and said all sorts. All he wanted was a fight to claim assault. I was within my rights to punch him. But punch him hard and he hits the back of his head on a hard surface and blood follows. You'd be held in prison. So before you allow any fellow push you to react because of the things they say, picture yourself in prison uniform. Then ask yourself if you want to ruin your life for a nobody.

PS: Please invest in yourself. Dress neatly and well. When you are walking, raise your head up and walk as if you own the environment. When you talk to people, maintain eye contact. Think of the times you won things for yourself and proved yourself right, not when you proved others wrong. You are not existing to prove them wrong, but to prove yourself right. Avoid ever capitulating to those saying nasty things because you want them to stop. Just use silence as your weapon, and that would break them. In other words, learn not to send anybody papa. Use these strategies for yourself and it would evoke a strong feeling of confidence and security.

See this one Dey talk like person wey get sense.

Na only riff rafts Dey support APC.

You are not better than anyone .

Christianoir:
I see people saying you shouldn’t care about what people say but I’ve been trying it not working because people might say bad thing about me and I will start thinking about it for days

How do I get that I don’t care attitude
I know inot possible not to care but at least I don’t want people opinions to weigh we down

How do you guys do it
Please suggest guys
It weighing me down

Bro, give examples of what they say that touched you this much

Bankowner:
Simple!!
By not listening to what they say about you.
What you don't hear don't hurt you.

Simple and straightforward.

Best post of the thread.

Christianoir:
I see people saying you shouldn’t care about what people say but I’ve been trying it not working because people might say bad thing about me and I will start thinking about it for days

How do I get that I don’t care attitude
I know inot possible not to care but at least I don’t want people opinions to weigh we down

How do you guys do it
Please suggest guys
It weighing me down

1. Have clear picture of who you want to be
2. Accept the fact that you can't please everybody
3. Go for what you want
4. Resist the urge to explain yourself to people
5. Accept the fact that you will be misunderstood

Care? I’m not even interested if anyone talks about me. I’m busy chasing money and looking good—that’s my focus. I don’t have time to care about what people say. After my name, I don’t care is my second name. If that’s how you are too, just accept it or join my I don’t care platform. You must have a strong personality.

Christianoir:
I see people saying you shouldn’t care about what people say but I’ve been trying it not working because people might say bad thing about me and I will start thinking about it for days

How do I get that I don’t care attitude
I know inot possible not to care but at least I don’t want people opinions to weigh we down

How do you guys do it
Please suggest guys
It weighing me down

Do the right thing. Please God, please yourself. Listen to people, if their criticism is correct, amend your ways and if not, forget about their criticism. Appreciate their concern and move on.

Jaycobbs:


Lol. It's hard to explain.

I feel you, though. I struggled with people's opinions of me for decades. But it's a process. It doesn't happen all at once, though there'll be notable milestones where you worry less and about what people think about you.

I saw some things that just made me really pissed off.

Um... I think a big factor is also your background. The words that were used in reference to you as a child matters a lot and forms your personal belief system.

I don't remember who made the statement but there's a popular saying that no one can make you feel bad about yourself or less of yourself without your own approval or permission.

It's not what other people are thinking that's the issue; it's what you subconsciously believe about yourself that's the problem.

There are some things you know that you know that you know, and no one can take that from you.

For instance—I'm 6'1"

No man can insult me that I'm short. Lol. I'll just laugh it off because I KNOW within me that I'm not. Evidence is too much.

No one can insult you or laugh at you that you're a white man, because you KNOW you are not.

That's what self belief looks like. You have to have strong opinions about your sense of self worth.

No one can insult me that I'm dull and then their opinions would move me or make me feel bad. I have academic accolades that say otherwise.

So if someone thinks lowly of you, or if you think they think lowly of you, and that assumption/reality has the ability to change your belief about yourself, the other person isn't the problem—you are.

It can change how you feel about yourself BECAUSE some part of you believe it's true. If no part of you has any negative opinion of yourself, people's thoughts would mean nothing to you.

So you have to begin the long journey of getting to truly know who you are and the value inherent in you; the impact you make in this world. As you develop strong opinions and convictions about your own value, the impact of other people's feelings and assumptions about you start to diminish.

I don't know if this makes sense.

Send me a message on Whatsapp if you wish to talk more.

Hope this helps you. ✌🏻

Cheers.

I think you have said it all for the dude with examples. He didn't give examples of what had been said about him.

Maybe he is the problem or have issues that warrant people to always complain

If someone is too dirty or lazy but haven't realised or ignored ofcos people will say much about him.

We know people will always talk but the victims should also as matter of necessity to look inwards and see if he gave the approval consciously or not.

It is not everyone that have tick skin, no matter how you try, their talks will continue hitting you hard!

We are social higher animals, and the only living things that talk.

Christianoir:
I see people saying you shouldn’t care about what people say but I’ve been trying it not working because people might say bad thing about me and I will start thinking about it for days

How do I get that I don’t care attitude
I know inot possible not to care but at least I don’t want people opinions to weigh we down

How do you guys do it
Please suggest guys
It weighing me down

Read “Power Vs Force” David Hawkins tells you how most people who are stuck on low consciousness are negative and easily say destructive things towards others to project their own inefficiencies rather than what you’re doing…It’s extreme “morality vigilanteism”

cucumbar:
See this one Dey talk like person wey get sense.

Na only riff rafts Dey support APC.

You are not better than anyone .

I do not seek to be better than anyone. That is a low standard for myself. I rather seek to improve on who I was the day before.

Please, it is riff-raff, not "rift rafts". If I am a riff raft to you, I would never wish to be anything else to you so long as it causes you pain.

Self confidence and maintaining your faith

Cum4me:
I guess[b] you haven't face real life challenges[/b] believe you won't even care when someone talk bad at you. Because all your mind will be how to make this money because money give the real boundaries and respect you deserve

I guess so... His still immature

For me, it about caring for the opinions of who really matters, God....

And that's a battle cos almost everybody around don't know what it means to fear God.

To them you're foolish. Even christians as they call themselves don't know what is white or black.

So it really takes the power of the Holy Spirit... Cos our flesh wants to be popular and make people happy. And we can get worried or even depressed because of these dead opinions of people whose breath is in their nostrils.

It's a daily Battle...

And the more people feel embarrassed and defeated by your I don't care attitude the faster they leave you alone.

They see you don't crave for their validation or acceptance. You don't care whether they understand you or not; you don't try to explain yourself or want to be liked...

BUT to please God alone. That's all that makes you tremble...

God bless

That's how

Christianoir:
I see people saying you shouldn’t care about what people say but I’ve been trying it not working because people might say bad thing about me and I will start thinking about it for days

How do I get that I don’t care attitude
I know inot possible not to care but at least I don’t want people opinions to weigh we down

How do you guys do it
Please suggest guys
It weighing me down

Watch this video.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEcUywqGa2o

labake1:
You no get serious responsibilities that's why you care about what people say

We are human and we are social animals. We care about our group and what they think of us. If in the process of carrying that your "responsibilities", you learn that those who you trust and respect say not so nice things about you, you wouldn't be happy for sure unless you are a sociopath.

So, back to the topic. Your feeling is legit and you just have to develop and a thick skin against such occurance. The thing is people will talk and you don't have control over what they say. What you have or should try to have control over is your mind. When such incidents happen, it will still be painful ofcourse, just ignore and let your sense purpose and intention guide you.

Christianoir:
I see people saying you shouldn’t care about what people say but I’ve been trying it not working because people might say bad thing about me and I will start thinking about it for days

How do I get that I don’t care attitude
I know inot possible not to care but at least I don’t want people opinions to weigh we down

How do you guys do it
Please suggest guys
It weighing me down

If you’re in a place that drains your energy then leave to where you cherished

Honestly I can relate with OP.

Growing up I was extremely self conscious about my appearance (being painfully thin) and unfortunately was the butt of some pretty hurtful jokes/comments from colleagues.

Now many years later I have learnt to overlook such comments (it isn't always easy) and there has been progress

Christianoir:
I see people saying you shouldn’t care about what people say but I’ve been trying it not working because people might say bad thing about me and I will start thinking about it for days

How do I get that I don’t care attitude
I know inot possible not to care but at least I don’t want people opinions to weigh we down

How do you guys do it
Please suggest guys
It weighing me down

Are you living for other people or yourself?

Cum4me:
I guess you haven't face real life challenges believe you won't even care when someone talk bad at you. Because all your mind will be how to make this money because money give the real boundaries and respect you deserve

Very true, especially when they now find it hard to understand even your next move.

pansophist:
There is a famous quote by Winchston Churchill (ex Biitish prime minister) where he infamously said

''When you're 20 you care what everyone thinks, when you're 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you're 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place.”

The ability to not care about what people think comes with maturity, a consequence of growing up. It is easier for older people to not give a shit, because alot have happened in their life, that some gossip or even hate doesnt make them loose sleep.

If you have been through a lot, pulled yourself from the dark, being in situations where you have to show what you are made up, and see the dirty side of people, you will get to a point where you wont worry at all.

Most importantly, the key to stand tall in the face of an army of critics is to do well for yourself. When you are successful, you will realise that gossip is a low energy vibration, and you will naturally look down on gossipers.

one of the best write-up on this forum!!!!

Christianoir:
I see people saying you shouldn’t care about what people say but I’ve been trying it not working because people might say bad thing about me and I will start thinking about it for days

How do I get that I don’t care attitude
I know inot possible not to care but at least I don’t want people opinions to weigh we down

How do you guys do it
Please suggest guys
It weighing me down

Read books and listen to podcasts that will help you detach from the things that bother you. You can also speak to a licensed therapist

Christianoir:
I see people saying you shouldn’t care about what people say but I’ve been trying it not working because people might say bad thing about me and I will start thinking about it for days

How do I get that I don’t care attitude
I know inot possible not to care but at least I don’t want people opinions to weigh we down

How do you guys do it
Please suggest guys
It weighing me down

My dear the only sure way is be born again.with the spirit of God you care more of what God says and you won't be men pleaser.

Christianoir:
I see people saying you shouldn’t care about what people say but I’ve been trying it not working because people might say bad thing about me and I will start thinking about it for days

How do I get that I don’t care attitude
I know inot possible not to care but at least I don’t want people opinions to weigh we down

How do you guys do it
Please suggest guys
It weighing me down

humm
Let me tell you something, u can't satisfy human either u do good or bad people will talk
Just do what's best for you..
Leav talks for human being, in few years u won't see dem again so why worry.. Go enjoy life Jor

You're not alone in feeling this way. Many people struggle with how others see them, especially when the words are harsh, judgmental, or just plain unfair. It's human to care but you can also learn how not to let it control you.

Here’s how to build that “I don’t care (too much)” attitude gradually and realistically:

1. Accept That You Will Care Sometimes. And That’s Okay
The goal isn’t to stop caring completely — it's to stop giving people's opinions power over your peace. You're allowed to feel hurt, but you can learn not to let it linger or define your worth.

2. Ask: "Is it True or Just Noise?"
When someone says something bad about you, pause and ask:

Is there truth in it? If yes, improve and move on — not for them, for you.

If it’s not true, it's just noise. Not everything deserves a response or a reaction. You don’t pick up every piece of trash on the street — treat useless opinions the same.

3. Protect Your Mental Space
Start building a mental boundary. When someone says something negative, try mentally saying:

“This is their opinion, not my reality.”

Repeat it until it becomes your defense.

4. Shift the Focus Back to You
Most people who judge you harshly are dealing with their own insecurities. Instead of focusing on them, ask:

"What do I think of me? What am I working towards?"

Reclaim your mind. Don’t give rent-free space to opinions that don’t build you.

5. Practice Detachment, Not Hatred
You don’t have to hate people to ignore their opinions. You just detach. You listen without absorbing. You hear, but you don’t carry.

6. Build Inner Confidence
Start listing the things you like about yourself. Your values. Your growth. Your journey. Even if it's just one thing. Confidence doesn’t come from applause, it comes from truth. Know who you are, and people’s words will shake you less.

7. Talk to Yourself Kindly
If you wouldn’t say it to your younger sibling or best friend, don’t say it to yourself. Replace the negative replay with a kind one. Train your inner voice to be your ally, not your enemy.

Finally:
You’re not weak for caring. You’re strong for wanting to rise above it. Healing and building resilience take time, but every step you take toward caring less is you reclaiming your power.

You’ve got this.

You can overcome by adopting this concept.

There are two things you need to deal with it.

1. Yourself

2. People

*Yourself
1. Develop A High Self Esteem And Self Worth
- Love Yourself
- Believe in Yourself
- Celebrate Yourself

Please try and change your mind by loving, believing and celebrating yourself.
You can do this by listing out unique things about yourself, what you like about yourself, your achievements, your strengths and so on. And make sure you read them everyday.
Also confess positively about yourself and start seeing yourself as an important person in this world and that you don't have a duplicate. You are uniquely created.

*People
2a. Develop A Low Standard and Expectation For People
- See people as fallible and uncertain humans
- See people as Self focused people... they don't care about you
- See people as external humans to you and don't know you and might not understand you
- Don't place too much value on people

Try and develop a mind of logic and fact about humans and happenings in this life. When you hear a story or news or happenings... always try and use logic to understand humans role in it and not emotion. When you develop this kind of logical mind... it helps you to set a lower standard and expectation for people.

2b. Don't Rely On People's Validation About You
-Never set goals or standards in your mind and be expecting people to validate them for you. That is, don't set exam for yourself and be expecting answers from people.
- Don't allow the basis of your joy to be based on the validation of people

The idea of setting a high standard for yourself and expecting validation of it from people is another issue you might be having. An example is let's say are dressed up for an occasion and you are already having the mind you want to show off there, you want people to look at your side when you walk in, you want attendees to notice you, you want people to like and say your clothes is beautiful and so on... You have already set trap for yourself. This is you setting an exam for yourself and then expecting people to come and answer it for you. You might get to that occasion and people will say ills of your clothe. It will pain you much because of what you have set in your mind that was not met.
What you need to do is when you dress up, validate yourself, approve it yourself that it if fine, answer the standard you set yourself in your mind and then say you don't care what anyone says afterwards.

Thanks.

Model yourself on what Jesus or Mohammed will do with a clear conscience and you are good to go.

Christianoir:
I see people saying you shouldn’t care about what people say but I’ve been trying it not working because people might say bad thing about me and I will start thinking about it for days

How do I get that I don’t care attitude
I know inot possible not to care but at least I don’t want people opinions to weigh we down

How do you guys do it
Please suggest guys
It weighing me down

In this harsh regime you are thinking about what people say about bro to be honest the regime never touch you oo...
Aside the harsh regime normally you shouldn't give ears to what people would say about you walai , because if you do you will give yourself HBO, normally you should know that not everyone will say something good about you except if you are that type that when ever you pass and greet people that knows you and you will be putting ears to hear if they are talking about you and by doing so you are giving yourself HBP, continue your hustlings and continue getting the money that's the main goal bro.