₦airaland Forum

Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

Lol at your son running away from the top...

He is still a young lad. He would probably do better and catch up as he gets older.

The girl at 7 is too young to start assisting madam. If she was her daughter would she allow her withdraw or change schools to assist with home responsibilities or assistance with home affairs? Your boy is just a year younger o.

Pls continue to treat the girl fairly and as you would your biological daughter as you have done so far.


If you have the means or capability you can consider getting an Older helper to assist with the assistance madam needs.


Forget women...do what is right. It's even weird to be considering a 7 year old house assistant in the first place. That's child labor.

It's a pity things aren't working in Nigeria. Allow the girl enjoy her childhood in peace and with love.

God bless you!

Israel5:
➜Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.
When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type. I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace. Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?
➜ Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

Wait a second! What was your original intention in taking the girl in at the beginning? To use her in raising your own family or to adopt her as one of your own kids?

2. So, your wife is looking for a slave and not an employee? And she believes this gal is meant to be a slave for her purpose, something you seem to think makes sense?

If you say your wife is not looking for a slave in this case, then why can't the chores be distributed between your son and the girl? Or is your son not intelligent enough to handle chores or something? Help me understand why you are asking us this question, because what is obvious is that your wife is not happy that this gal is getting the same treatment as her blood in the home.

I'm curious, how will a 6 years old child help around the house and with your wife's business?

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

This your wife is going to be wicked to that girl
She's just bidding her time before her true colors to treat that girl as a house help will show...

Please to avoid stories that touch the heart... Send that girl back to the village. It will be painful.. I know you like the girl.. but your wife is wicked... She's just bidding her time...

Bro kindly send that girl back to her parents.
If your wife needs a maid get someone much more older and mature. Tomorrow don't want to hear woman pours hot water on 8 year old over house chores.

Your wife is is calculating something, she needs factors to put into the equation to get her desired results.
Get it , she can't no longer stand the kid beat her kid , hence these her option.

Women...always wicked towards another woman's female child under her roof. See reason why she wants the girl to change school.

In 10 years time this ur wicked wife will accuse u of sleeping with ur relative. Mark it somewhere.
Your wicked wife is also likely to witch hunt this little girl now and in the future.
Mr man! U married a very heartless and wicked woman.
Kindly send the poor lad back to her parents. U cannot send a girl to a private school where her intellect and morals has been built and established, only to withdraw her and enrol her in a public school where she will mingle with the dregs of the society and loose herself and morals.
Your wife is a wicked woman.

Samantha125:
I'm curious, how will a 6 years old child help around the house and with your wife's business?

she wants to matreate her can't you see she's getting envy of her. Women are something else. Will she allowed her 6 year old daughter to do such.

From where I stand it looks to me like your wife is jealous of that young girl and the fact that she is doing better in school than her own son/child. Her request to you is just a coy and a devious way of truncating that girl's destiny. It will be unwise of you to support your wife in such a mission.

From your narrative I think you're the one doing the heavy financial lifting in your household by paying the school fees and other bills, so don't let your wife dictate to you how the affairs of your household should be run. Don't let her dictate to you either because naturally you ought to lead as the head of your household while she follows.

Can you truthfully say that you don't know your wife's intentions towards that girl are not good? I think you know the truth yourself and you're just playing the ostrich and being pretentious. What you are doing and agreeing to is not fair or right, that is how complacency starts in the maltreatment of wards or helps. In fact it has already started with that singular statement you made "for peace to reign".

Why didn't she suggest that both children (her son and the girl) be withdrawn and put in the same school so both can be helping her out after school. Or is her son above running errands around the home and helping her out? Hire a maid for your wife, one that can come and go in the day time and leave that girl in the school where she is. Your wife is up to no good and you know it too.

Don't listen to your wife.

You have a very wicked woman for a wife

Then that's child slavery, a 6 years old child shouldn't be having any business doing domestic chores or even be helping with the wife's business.

The op should send the child back home and let their son be the one helping the wife since he's even a slow learner at school.

Cum4me:
she wants to matreate her can't you see she's getting envy of her. Women are something else. Will she allowed her 6 year old daughter to do such.

Women.

verminnel:
You have a very wicked woman for a wife

It is OP feigning ignorance of this that is getting on my nerves. You don't even have to attend school to see what his wife has been trying to do all of this time.

@OP, are you hiding something from us that maybe your wife knows of? Is that girl really your child or something? Cause I don't see how you cannot have realized by now the woman's intention.

Let your son go with her to the government school, they can come back at the same time and help your wife with the chores.
At that age you will only traumatize the little girl, who already calls you "daddy".
Simply get a nanny for your iron lady.

I know where your wife is coming from and pls tell her it won't end well.She just doesn't want her in the same school as your child.Tell her that the goodness she would show that child is a seed she is showing.Evil and Jealousy is trying to win her but as the man,shun it.At all at all,let her finish primary there.
Public schools close 2, private 3.1hr difference.She can still help your wife
And readers,a basic 5 pupil couldn't be 6 or 7 yrs old.Im guessing 10-12 yrs right now because of the delays she's had in her education,yet doesn't make it right.

You know what your wife is asking you to do isn’t right, yet you’re here still asking. You better send that girl back to her parents and be supporting her from afar, if you know you can’t do right by her.

So, if your wife asks you to harm her you’ll agree for peace to reign? Dey there dey deceive yourself.

Madam is about to turn this gurl to full time maid.

From stopping private school, to stop schooling entirely, then to start beating shege comot from her body.

If you yield this one, u finally loss control over the affair of the girl.

She go see shege for madam hand.

Chai.... Difficult days ahead o

Na you your son resemble with book.
As for the girl, blood is thicker than water.

Na proverb o

Dont allow your wife to turn that girl into maid. If you are in Lagos, the government might prosecute you if your wife treats that girl bad.

Dont change the girl school. Continue treating her like your own, you will reap the reward in future. Nobody knows tomorrow

I'm sorry to say this but it's every obvious that your wife has always had that thought in mind. Pure prejudice. Why exactly are some women like this? I had this fight with my big sister and stopped correcting her kids because she was cool with her kids calling her own siblings by their names.

Why can't your son help her too? Again, I'm sorry to say this but I'm suspecting your wife is one of those women who grew up in abject poverty and still bonded by it. The women who are most likely to treat other people's kid different from their own kids are those ones who grew up in poverty.

Those who say "I don't want my kids to go through what I want through" and end up raising monsters in our society. Monsters either their over pampered children or those kids they hurt simply because they considered them too inferior to be treated with the same love as their kids.

This ugly phenomenon is not only disheartening but also depressing. People will never change even as they beg for change like beggars.

No, she's not right. In fact, it's irritating that you've even resolved to bend to her inordinate wish to "avoid problems."

​Your wish to avoid problems is like a man whose prayer point is to have a woman who will give him peace of mind - such a prayer point should come from a woman not vice versa.

​To strive to do what you know is just, whether for and against you, and your household in this regard in general, and stand your ground, regardless of the consequences, should always be your ambition.

It smacks of feeble-mindedness to shy away from that which is just, just for peace to reign. Peace can only be said to be priceless when obtained, maintained, and sustained within the confines of justness, and this should be regardless of whether you're the one making and contributing the most money or not in the union.

​Sop being servile. In the name of "to avoid problems and/or for peace to reign" more than 90 percent of men in relational union with women have been subjugated literally, even though notionally, the reverse is the case. No one, whether man or woman, deserves to be subjugated.

The zenith of living and fulfillment remains not minding losing anything or anyone on principle.

RightToReject:
➜Sop being servile. In the name of "to avoid problems and/or for peace to reign" more than 90 percent of men in relational union with women have been subjugated literally, even though notionally, the reverse is the case. No one, whether man or woman, deserves to be subjugated.
The zenith of living and fulfillment remains not minding losing anything or anyone on principle.

OP and others like him are not subjugated. They simply do not care as much as they let on.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

Women and wickedness to other kids ehn, it goes hand in hand. Plus you men that will go bring your relatives, then open your big eyes while your wives turn them to domestic helps are the main simps. See your mouth like in her defence. For pikin wey dey primary school? Would she have suggested that if it were a child from her side? Anyway, she can. My aunty did worse sef.

I wish I know your house, so I can report to Ministry of Women Affairs.

That girl is there for a better education and chance at life, not to be a domestic staff. How does your wife not get this? You people should go employ an adult if you need such services.

Kobojunkie:
Wait a second! What was your original intention in taking the girl in at the beginning? To use her in raising your own family or to adopt her as one of your own kids?

2. So, your wife is looking for a slave and not an employee? And she believes this gal is meant to be a slave for her purpose, something you seem to think makes sense?

If you say your wife is not looking for a slave in this case, then why can't the chores be distributed between your son and the girl? Or is your son not intelligent enough to handle chores or something? Help me understand why you are asking us this question, because what is obvious is that your wife is not happy that this gal is getting the same treatment as her blood in the home.

you have started making a lot of sense these days…
Kudos

My heart is aching for this little girl… childhood trauma loading… May the Most High protect her heart and soul. May He gift her with a resilient heart and a sharp mind. May He give her peace and shower her with His Mercy: Amen! And again: Amen!

For me I'd advise you to send that child back and take care of her from afar.. once jealousy is involved anything can happen ;as for your wife check her cycle friends and the way they interact with the girl a leaf doesn't fall far from the tree