₦airaland Forum

For peace to reign, really!!! You want to support your wife's wickedness for peace to reign? Please send that girl back to her parents in the village. You can be paying her tuition directly to the school and support her from afar instead of letting your wife turn a 6yrs old child into a maid. Your wife is a wicked witch.

Kobojunkie:
OP and others like him are not subjugated. They simply do not care as much as they let on.

True!!

All those people defending many kids for average families, this is most likely the fate of your child in a capitalist country without child labour laws. Lower-middle-class families like OP would take your child and use them for domestic work. They will console you with "we go train am for school". By the time your child is in SS3, they will start asking her if she wants to learn how to pound akpu or to cut ugu. They won't mention university. Not all are like this, but majority are. So you better hold your child.

Withdraw both your son and the girl to be helping out your wife. I'm not sure, but I doubt if your wife would make such a demand if she were your biological daughter. A girl in basic five should be around nine or ten years. Don't you think she is too young to shoulder the responsibilities of a nanny?

Op, honestly, what your wife is asking for is not out of the ordinary, but her intentions may not be good. I say this because one of my older sisters was transferred to an afternoon school at the age of 11 years so she could cater for my lil bro. If she weren't my mom's biological daughter, people would have castigated my mom for this. Although my sister, (now late) never really forgave my mom for that and always complained bitterly for being treated differently. So, let me ask you three questions. If you can honestly asnwer them, then you are good to go.

Firstly, do you think your wife would have made such an outrageous demand if the little girl were your biological daughter? Secondly,do you think your wife have good intentions towards the girl? Thirdly, do you think what she is asking of you is right? if you answer yes to the three questions, then go ahead and oblige her request, otherwise, then you know what to do.

By the way, reading through the comments, you would think most Nigerians are saints. Interestingly no one has taken your wife's side.This has got me wondering...if we have such nice people in the country, how come we still hear stories of kids getting mistreated by their benefactors?

Wow! Essentially, you wife is planning to use the poor 7yo as a maid and wants to reduce her privileges as much as possible! 7 year old pikin o! May God help her... May she not use her hands ruin her own children's fate cos karma go dey dish her returns o!

Abeg please biko, return the girl to her family and support her from there.....this is just the begining of madam's wahala o.

pocohantas:
➜True!!
All those people defending many kids for average families, this is most likely the fate of your child in a capitalist country without child labour laws. Lower-middle-class families like OP would take your child and use them for domestic work. They will console you with "we go train am for school". By the time your child is in SS3, they will start asking her if she wants to learn how to pound akpu or to cut ugu. They won't mention university. Not all are like this, but majority are. So you better hold your child.

The saddest of all this is that girl's own parents probably had no better future to offer her. OP claims they had 7 kids with no plan for how to raise or train them. They are equally culpable. 😩

Make people Dey born Dey go 😆😆😆😆

Kobojunkie:
The saddest of all this is that girl's own parents probably had no better future to offer her. OP claims they had 7 kids with no plan for how to raise or train them. They are equally culpable. 😩

Yes. Her parents are culpable.
Now the girl has to exchange labour for her primary/secondary education. By the time she grows, she just might exchange something else.

What goes around come around, people have said the truth it's left to you to take it or take your wife advice.Matter like this is where men need to man enough to stand out and speak fire like dragons.the type of wife are those that scattered families relationships

I can bet anything that your wife is an Igbo woman.

It would be very stupid of you to do something wrong because your wife wants you to.
Give her the option of either withdrawing both of them and enrolling them in government school so they could help her out if she really wants help, or they remain in the school that they are currentlyenrolled in. Let your wife know that your intention is to help the girl in the capacity God has given you and not to make her your house help.
You had better led your home aright. Don't bring judgement upon your family and children because of your failure in leadership.
You are doing well today doesn't mean things cannot go aweful for you tomorrow. While God has blessed you enough to help that child, do what is right.

Families with newborns usually need a helping hand, especially if your wife is working. So right from the start, you should have looked for someone you know will be of assistance to your home.

Your wife's desire was that this girl will be helpful around the home and also help look after newborn. You did not mention the girls current age, so I don't have an idea if she would be able to help with newborn.

Majority of people commenting on this thread definitely assisted in looking after their younger siblings while growing up, so if this girl can help, then why not? While growing up, I assisted my mom to look after my younger sibling. How do families without a nanny cope? Is it not the mother and older siblings that do the chores and look after the baby?
Options to chose from:
1. Employ an older maid if you have the financial strength.
2. If you don't have the financial strength, then return the girl and employ an older maid.
3. Don't employ a maid, but let all family members run the chores and cater for new baby.

Whatever you do, pls don't change the girls school, if she's in primary, allow her to complete primary school with your son. Whatever changes you wish to do, can be in the future.

Kobojunkie:
It is OP feigning ignorance of this that is getting on my nerves. You don't even have to attend school to see what his wife has been trying to do all of this time.

@OP, are you hiding something from us that maybe your wife knows of? Is that girl really your child or something? Cause I don't see how you cannot have realized by now the woman's intention.

some men let pussy cloud their sense of reasoning sadly. I feel pity for that little girl Some of these my gender ehn the wickedness they carry in their hearts is just unimaginable!! Nobody force u get belle ,u get belle finish u now want to push the responsibility that comes with it unto a child in the name of helping out, to the extent of depriving the child good education while ur own child of almost same age isnt limited in same regard. People should look inwardly abeg and do whats right

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

Please return her back to her parents. If you intend they do basic 6, ensure she sits for National Common Enterance and pick a Federal Government and Federal Government College in her parent's home stay. Do not change her school
Do not destroy her morale and that of your son. Your son might think it is right to look down on the lower class since that is the cue he will likely pick. Your wife is just a typical Nigerian because Nigeria endorses child abuse as she wouldn't dare say that if she lives abroad.

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

Please allow her finish for primary then do that in secondary.. she for even write common entrance from primary 5

No wonder a prominent Nairalander stated that Nigerian women don't like children that are not biologically theirs.

But then, OP, just like the prominent Nairalander, are both Igbo men and their wives are Igbo women.

Some things shouldn't come as a surprise.

Some people can't just take it that there will always be someone better than you, there will always be a child better than yours.

Send her back to her parents, because if anything thing happens to the girl you'll be held accountable and your wife will leave you and follow her ex boyfriend

rooftops:
Some people can't just take it that there will always be someone better than you, there will always be a child better than yours.

you're right bro,envy will destroy them.

Ulunne777:
I know where your wife is coming from and pls tell her it won't end well.Tell her that the goodness she would show that child is a seed she is showing.Evil and Jealousy is trying to win her but as the man,shun it.
And readers,a basic 5 pupil couldn't be 6 or 7 yrs old.Im guessing 10-12 yrs right now yet doesn't make it right.

Jesus Christ 😮,at the age of 12 I was in jss3

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

I experienced this In life as a child
As I didn't leave with parents

There are several advantages and disadvantages
You need to weigh before taking more action
Advantages and disadvantages that could even affect your son


But matter too long, I would it via a call

One thing though

Your son is just too young to be judge by educational performance for now

The girl is just to young to be used for what madam wants....
Madam is setting you up for what can take you another 10 years of regrets...sex and wify won't matter in those days
because that will backfire...
not even in your primes...it could come when you hitting 65 towards

That little girl maybe all your son needs for a phase of growth in hes life ... because that time will come

The little girl except help by God will go down educationally because of madam..this is gauranteed...so watch the woman
That you making money and paying the bills now dosnt means you won't face finacial challenges

When those times comes...the first person to take some hit will be the little girl by reason of madams advice.. prepare on how to handle that

You can suffer for this little girl ,but your madam can turn your suffering to sorrows ,
while the little guy still gets to disappoint you big time

That's 3ripple suffering ...if you can't bear it..look for a different system to help the little girl

Don't change that little girl's school.

Tell your wife that you will change both your son and the girl school and watch her reaction.
She has hidden agenda.


Why most women hate another woman pikin?

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

If it was her niece or nephew you were training in school would she have made this same suggestion? You know the answer.

I am afraid for the welfare of that child in your hands (not your wife's hands because she was handed to you, not your wife). Your wife wants to transform a brilliant young child into a househelp so that she would have little or no time for studies with the intention to make her grades look something like your son's or worse, and you justify it by saying for peace to reign. If you, as a man, are ready to accede to your wife's request then the future of that child looks bleak except God intervenes.

Get your wife a househelp. Let that girl's little star continue to grow and shine even if it outshines your son's. You have been unbiased in giving both equal footing and encouragement. Why stop now?

For the first time in my life, NLAnders came together in unity to oppose a motion...


I'm impressed...


But less seriously, if that wife wasn't pregnant, I'll have suggested sending her on a one month vacation to her papa house make her brain reset small...

Why doesn't she want a maid? And if you can't afford to keep her and a maid in terms of cost, send her back.

I'll continue to say that husbands of women that maltreat children in their care are the enablers. What kind of man can't rule his home and ensure no classism in his home....a man isn't about bills paying and if he can't LEAD his home, he's less of a man.

The person that said older siblings took care of younger ones, it depends. What does a child know about caring for a newborn?

I'm so pained for the girl as she may be asked to drop out of school till the baby walks.
Go to church, and you see the woman with a child looking unkempt carrying her baby....

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

Women can be quite insensitive to the needs of kids that are not theres. But your wife should thread carefully. There are kids that carry annoiting. If you try to derail their God ordained destiny it backfires. There are implications for changing the school of a girl child especially when she is thriving there. To make matters worse, the reason is so that she can help out at home. The girl would definitely fall back on her grades and may be so tired and depressed that her whole life derails.
My advice is to get a house maid that will help with the baby.
Its not by chance that you are instrumental in the girl's destiny. Dont allow your wife to influence you negatively

Baronthecelebri:
Jesus Christ 😮,at the age of 12 I was in jss3

I'm very much aware.I calculated it based on the info he gave.Her education had been delayed before she came to live with them and she was still made to repeat a class .
2-3 years max

Ulunne777:
I'm very much aware.I calculated it based on the info he gave.Her education had been delayed before she came to live with them and she was still made to repeat a class .
2-3 years max

Op clearly states that his son is 6 years old and the little girl is a year older than ops son which means she’s 7 years old.

Modified: my bad! He doesn’t actually state how old the children are. She could be between 10 and 11 years old. Either way; she’s still a child and deserves her education being prioritised over helping an adult with their responsibilities. Let’s let children be children.