Is My Wife Right To Ask This? - Family (3)

Is My Wife Right To Ask This? - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › Is My Wife Right To Ask This? (28896 Views)

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Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by dominique(mod): 10:51am On Aug 01, 2025*

Am I missing something? Where did the op state that the girl is 7 y.o? What he said is she's one of 7 kids of his relative, she's a year older than his son and they're both in basic 5. That would put her at 10/11 y.o thereabouts. That said, if the girl in question is same age as OP's son, then the boy too is old enough to assist and should be put in government school alongside the girl. Why some women believe other people's children living under their roofs are not deserving of privileges is beyond me. Either she gets a help or both children switch to government school and assist her

7 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by IDERAWOLE(m): 10:51am On Aug 01, 2025

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

Just wondering the kind of blood that runs in some of us. Let me stop before saying too much.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by descarado: 10:52am On Aug 01, 2025*

7 kids

You born, you train. I can only give money if I want to. No obligation. No guilt either.

They should continue breeding like rat. Na only them like dik and to'to.

Stop bringing relatives children to live with you. It usually doesn't end well. From the guy side, the woman may maltreat the child or the man may s'exuall'y abuse her if its from her wife's side.

Send that child to the best school if you want to help and let that child grow up with her or his parents. As for all school requirements, deal directly with the school. She or he may come for holiday and there it ends. Those formative years with parents matters a lot.
We always get our priorities wrong.

Tomorrow, you and your wife will tell the world you made her what she is and she is not grateful because you wait to reap the fruit of your labour.
Are you not a nigerian again?
Even fulfilling our obligations to our children, we still expect them to reciprocate because we think they owe us.
Twisted mindset that have drained and destroyed nigeria till date. Entitlement mentality. God is not even excluded. We do good because we believe that God will pay us back with good and we will make heaven.

7 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by pocohantas(f): 11:17am On Aug 01, 2025

descarado:
7 kids

You born, you train. I can only give money if I want to. No obligation. No guilt either.

They should continue breeding like rat. Na only them like dik and to'to.

Stop bringing relatives children to live with you. It usually doesn't end well. From the guy side, the woman may maltreat the child or the man may s'exuall'y abuse her if its from her wife's side.

Send that child to the best school if you want to help and let that child grow up with her or his parents. As for all school requirements, deal directly with the school. She or he may cone for holiday and there it ends. Those formative years with parents matters a lot.
We always get our priorities wrong.

Tomorrow, you and your wife will tell the workd you made her what she is and she is not grateful because you wait to reap the fruit if your labour.
Are you not a nigerian again?
Even fulfilling our o libations ti our children, we still expect them to reciprocate because we think they owe us.
Twisted mindset that have drained and destroyed nigeria till date. Entitlement mentality. God is not even excluded. We do good because we believe that God will pay us back with good and we will make heaven.

Later they will say the only love that is unconditional is that of parents to a child. Iffa hear! People that are waiting to reap the fruit of their labour. 😂😂😂

7 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by brain54(m): 11:19am On Aug 01, 2025

xxxx

1 Like

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by akan102: 11:22am On Aug 01, 2025

Simply put your is your wife, if it were to be her daughter would she have suggested the way she did?
Would she have requested her daughter to be changed from the school she is seeing growth and progress academically to a school where am not sure, quote me "am not saying government school is bad" how am I sure behind you the girl is not been maltreated, if you allow her argument to stand be ready for more in the nearest future against the innocent girl, be careful and be the man, God bless you.

1 Like

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by Israel5(op): 11:26am On Aug 01, 2025

Bonjovi13:
Women can be quite insensitive to the needs of kids that are not theres. But your wife should thread carefully. There are kids that carry annoiting. If you try to derail their God ordained destiny it backfires. There are implications for changing the school of a girl child especially when she is thriving there. To make matters worse, the reason is so that she can help out at home. The girl would definitely fall back on her grades and may be so tired and depressed that her whole life derails.
My advice is to get a house maid that will help with the baby.
Its not by chance that you are instrumental in the girl's destiny. Dont allow your wife to influence you negatively

Okay. Thanks. Getting a housemaid is not necessary for me o. Where I wan get am sef? My wife will not want another girl in the house o. And she doesn't want any of her relatives to come to the house either. She has trust issues. So we're where we are. I'm learning the ropes of a man that wants peace. Lol

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by bukatyne(f): 11:29am On Aug 01, 2025

Na wa for men allowing trash in the name of 'let peace reign' as long as it doesn't directly affect them.

One would think they are so considerate and easy to deal with.

The OP knows what the wife wants to achieve. As long as it is doesn't directly inconvenience him, he will play the ostrich.

If you can't protect that girl, please send her back to her family.

8 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by Israel5(op): 11:30am On Aug 01, 2025

Samantha125:
I'm curious, how will a 6 years old child help around the house and with your wife's business?

She's almost 12 now.

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by bukatyne(f): 11:31am On Aug 01, 2025

Israel5:
She's almost 12 now.

So your son is 11.

If she thinks a 12 year old can do proper chores, an 11 year old can do also.

3 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by Samantha125(f): 11:33am On Aug 01, 2025

But she's still a child and what your wife is trying to do is child slavery... Take that child back to her parents house and let your son be the one helping since he's your child.

Israel5:
She's almost 12 now.

2 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by GboyegaD(m): 11:36am On Aug 01, 2025

Israel5:
Okay. Thanks. Getting a housemaid is not necessary for me o. Where I wan get am sef? My wife will not want another girl in the house o. And she doesn't want any of her relatives to come to the house either. She has trust issues. So we're where we are. I'm learning the ropes of a man that wants peace. Lol

Can you please stop mentioning you want peace? You are as culpable as your wife. She doesn't and wouldn't need a maid since you both think you have one you have being grooming and paying for the last 3 years. You are being manipulative and trying to act innocent by putting all the blame on your wife and allowing the public tag her and see you as the good one. If you want peace, do what is right.

13 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by Esthered: 11:39am On Aug 01, 2025

Israel5:
Okay. Thanks. Getting a housemaid is not necessary for me o. Where I wan get am sef? My wife will not want another girl in the house o. And she doesn't want any of her relatives to come to the house either. She has trust issues. So we're where we are. I'm learning the ropes of a man that wants peace. Lol

It's not necessary for you but your wife knows it's necessary as the burden of care is obviously on her from what I can perceive in the way you write hence the need to downgrade the girl to a public school to serve as a maid.

You want peace indeed. We're not there with the both of you but we know that you'll DEFINITELY do her bidding.

4 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by Bonjovi13: 12:01pm On Aug 01, 2025

Israel5:
Okay. Thanks. Getting a housemaid is not necessary for me o. Where I wan get am sef? My wife will not want another girl in the house o. And she doesn't want any of her relatives to come to the house either. She has trust issues. So we're where we are. I'm learning the ropes of a man that wants peace. Lol

Baba take it from a man who is 15years in marriage, you will keep compromising and differing to your wife just because you want " peace" until you cant recognize yourself.

This is how men become emasculated. This is not about how you like your eggs man, this has to do with the destiny of a child and that could have implications on the destiny of your kids and you are talking about peace.

You must not be the kind of man who can be bullied by his wife. So she will trouble you until you do her bidding everytime you have a difference of opinion. And you are paying the bills!

10 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by lebron7(m): 12:24pm On Aug 01, 2025

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

Is the few minute difference in closing time worth reducing her quality of education??

What is she going to help your wife do that can't wait an extra hour or two ?

5 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by Ulunne777(f): 12:46pm On Aug 01, 2025

Israel5:
She's almost 12 now.

You sound like you've made your decision already but Pls let her finish her basic primary there .
Funny enough public and private school dismissal hrs is 1hr difference.

3 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by missidy: 1:12pm On Aug 01, 2025*

From your replies it's obvious you have already made up your mind for "peace to reign". Public schools close by 2pm while her private school closes by 1pm. So because of one hour difference, you want to reduce the quality of her education to please your wife. God put the destiny of that child in your care as His steward, you either do His will or you do your wife's will. If you can do any of the two, kindly send her back to her parents. The ball is in your court.

4 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by EmperorIsaac(m): 1:17pm On Aug 01, 2025

duduade:
This your wife is going to be wicked to that girl
She's just bidding her time before her true colors to treat that girl as a house help will show...

Please to avoid stories that touch the heart... Send that girl back to the village. It will be painful.. I know you like the girl.. but your wife is wicked... She's just bidding her time...

Seconded.
I'm sure that your wife is a "Christian" and goes to church every Sunday. Tell her that I say except she repents, heaven will not want to associate with her. I don't know why most women despise other people's kids! Please send the girl back to her parents. Personally enroll her in a very good school and pay the fees directly. Your wife will make that girl regret knowing you. It's because of your wife that Scripture admonishes that, "do not let your left hand know the good deed your right hand does," so that the Heavenly Father can rightly reward you.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by stainzvill(m): 1:27pm On Aug 01, 2025

OP your guess is as good as mine

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by AKWATGOLD1(m): 2:58pm On Aug 01, 2025

Bro, did you want to hear the truth, the heart of your wife is wicked. At least, she should have acted in a motherly that have fear of God see reason why her son is not doing well and her sister to be his mentor. And if you did not yielded to her wish, she returned the innocent back to village and put a big fat lie on her head. Just act like say you are broke (that you invested and is yielding returns God forbid ooo) for like two months in the house then you will her true colour. If she can do this to her blood please be prepared for greater things she will do for your side (your family).

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

1 Like

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by ghettochild(m): 3:25pm On Aug 01, 2025

My brother I take God beg u...don't put that girl in public school...and she's too young to be taking care of ur wife..
Your wife no be baby n the pregnancy isn't her first..
U may get her a maid but don't allow her turn that Lil girl into a maid...
Stand your ground.....
I see ur wife as been unreasonable...

Give her this example; what if u two were no more n a family member decide to take in ur son..
How would she want him to be treated...
But in all honesty, wickedness dey inside ur wife blood....

2 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by NotOfThisWorld(f): 4:45pm On Aug 01, 2025*

Why should the girl be helping you take care of things when she's not a maid? Why can't your own son be doing that? Your wife is wicked and jealous, and wants to stop the girl's progress because she sees her intelligence and potential. Do continue helping the girl. Don't allow your wife to stop her education or limit her in any way.

1 Like

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by mecuries(m): 4:56pm On Aug 01, 2025

Even before I read far into the post, I knew the child is from your family. Would she react this way if it's from her own side?

2 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by akube34: 9:33pm On Aug 01, 2025

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

better act like a man in your home. Ask your wife if that was her daughter would she withdraw her to help? If you need a house help, talk am

1 Like

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by tensazangetsu20(m): 9:41pm On Aug 01, 2025

Op if you have excess money why not save for your own child’s future university education. Life is extremely unpredictable and life around the globe is getting tougher and unpredictable every year. In Nigeria it’s ten times worse. Can you predict that you will continuously be in a good financial position for the next 18 years till both of the kids finish university lipsrsealed

2 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by Luak(m): 2:17pm On Aug 03, 2025

I had a similar experience so I had to accept the painful decision of using my 7 yr old son as the house help and he is good at it. Let the girl go but keep sending money to her parents to assist with her education

2 Likes

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by MarkNsukkaBread: 5:06pm On Aug 04, 2025

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

If you can comfortably afford to accommodate and feed one more person in your house ask your wife to bring one of her nieces or someone from her own side of the family to come and work as a house help to her!

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by MarkNsukkaBread: 5:07pm On Aug 04, 2025

stainzvill:
OP your guess is as good as mine

Meaning?

Re: Is My Wife Right To Ask This? by Adaisback(f): 11:46pm On Aug 04, 2025

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

op send us your address , we need to arrest your wife. She is a threat to humanity. Haba! What a heartless human and to think she is carrying another life in her womb?

1 Like

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