₦airaland Forum

Asuun:
Possible Reason

While he squatted same friend, he would have also mistreated him badly and he had to endure the mistreatment. Some friends are terrible. When u start cohabiting with them, that's when you will know their true colors. I am speaking from experience. I was once squatted by a friend for two months and I saw Shege Banza in his house. He would text me to delay my coming home from work because he is Knacking a woman at home. Sometimes he will even preinform me to look for somewhere else to pass the night since his woman would be coming to sleep over for two or three days.
Na me go sweep, mop and fetch water. And I'm even five years older than him o. The day I finally got my own place, I had a relief. But I remain grateful to him.
It's well

Asuun:
You're more of an ingrate than me

Nobody owes you anything in life is a phrase most of you mean and insensitive people use to justify your selfishness.
I guess nobody has ever helped you in life.
Superman, I hail theee

YeyeGbami:
Abroad no be where you go dey get time for all that. My sister pikin wey i raise till teen, as he enter UK he never for once call me and my wife say hello.

No expectations, no disappointment

ultraviolet27:
You dey mind them Nigerians are terrible callous people that's why the country is like this while I detest ingratitudes and thoughtlessness it doesn't warrant you an helper to treating your helpee like a trash imagine telling your guests to go find somewhere to sleep for 3 days because you wan knack some olosho that won't even come around when you are in trouble?yorubas will say ti o ba fe se oore kuku se tan if not that kind of oore ko ni ni ope

Forgetting that what goes around comes around and you may also need the person's help in future? the house chores parts no even really bother me but making your guests stay out because you are hosting some girls?like I didn't have boyfriend too did I chase my guest out because I wanted to bleep?infact I would have even gone do that in his own apartment

chi4ik4:
People are simply ungrateful. During my university days, I was the class rep, there was this big boy who never come to school, I wrote all the test, assessments and some of the exams for him. I made sure he never had any problem with any lecturer. Note: I never allowed him to pay me a dime as I did everything with all my heart. The guy picked my calls till date after graduation because I was a poor guy. Thank God today that I'm an employer of the labour with over 25 staff. People are just wicked.

Kenbuzzy:
We only heard one part of the story. When you hear the other side, then you know the truth. Besides, whatever help you give anyone, do not expect anything in return. Do it because it is the right thing to do let your reward come from God.

kingthreat:
➜The OP had a choice not to help but he did. Even if we do not expect anything in return, at least we expect gratitude. The opinion of not expecting anything in return is vague.
➜ Will you love your wife and she gives her love to someone else?

LOVEGINO:
no vex bro cuz u dey among him helpers. Ur rewards dey heaven dey pile up.

Kobojunkie:
Again, OP did not say that his friend did not thank him. The issue here is not that the friend was not grateful.

2. Your idea of love may not be your wife's idea of love. Hence, the reason why it becomes important to get the other side of the story.

Semaj77:
You do not know people and leave of betrayal they can go through , just stop making excuses for a story you know nothing about. I have helped 2 people like this in the past and anyone who knows me know I do not complain about anything , it takes a lot for me before I'll complain about another person , both of them ghosted me just like this person. Some time early this year one of them called me and started apologizing on the phone that he knows he has wronged me greatly. He has been in the US now for about 10 years and says he has his American passport now and that he's ready to help me , guess what he still keeps tossing my line whenever I call him on Whatsapp. The last call I made was when he I called him and he shouted on me that he was at work and very busy , since then I've said I won't pick his call or call him back again

kingthreat:
➜Kolosjunkie, you never tire?

nedekid:
But he housed you when no one else would including your family and other friends. He inconvenienced himself for you any which way you see it. I guess he would have been better of rejecting your request for assistance when you needed it the most.
Alot of us have learnt the hard way to reject such assistance. Many years ago my egbon had this friend who recently got married and was evicted, his wife and infant child had no where to go. He met my bro, saying he was his last hope, all had failed him, no where to raise money. My bro asked how much it cost to rent another place, he gave the guy the money in full, saving him from shame.
Many years later that guy became financially sound and told other mutual friends he had a grievance with my bro. Guess what it was, he said when he had serious accommodation problem my bro gave him the money with left hand! This guy na Yoruba, we no be, so my bro no even get sensitivity of left or right hand. Him innocently give persin money, him mate for that matter, the persin turn am to beef.
Omo, I know two brothers, Yoruba and both billionaires, we their friends know their policy, they will tell you clearly we do not assist in any way, either financially or other wise. They can come to your house and dash your wife, kids or mother 1,2,3k dollars, they can send money when eg bereaved etc, but 1 naira they will never lend you. It is their policy they said the learnt the hard way.
Oga never help anybody, if you have money accommodate your family, spend your money on your self, fly your kids to London, France, UK, Turkey for good time, don't waste your money on people that will turn around to beef you years later.

mrksquare:
Not really. I have housed a friend whose working place was close to my house. Some week, he will wear my shirt and trousers just to go to work without even returning it back. Some of his official work as an auditor, I was the one that was preparing it for him. The both of us were classmates in University, same department. Even when we were in University I was always sustaining him. Even gave him one of my phone when he had none. Even bought him goat when his father died as part of my support. What caused our problem? The Rivers state government under Gov. Wike decided to do biometrics, which lasted for over 3 months. For the three months duration Civil servants were not paid salary.

I resorted to my friend for mere #10k to solve a pressing matter. He kept assuring me he will give me the money. After pestering him for like a week, I halted. For a year, he refused calling me after the incident. After a year, he called me to check up on me. But deep down, I knew the friendship is over.

Firebox123:
which one is that you're feel betrayed

Did you even know maybe you're better than him that live in USA

Maybe your friend is suffering in USA like that you don't even know

profmallor:
➜ Jesus healed 10 lepers and only one came back to even say "Oga thank you o" that means only 10% of the population would ever show sincere gratitude, and even that depends on the culture and ways of living of the people involved. ➜ When you lend a helping hand to anyone, just do it withe the [b]hope t[/b]hat God and only God would repay you, if you hind your expectation on man, you will develop resentment cause man by nature is ungrateful.

Kobojunkie:
Sure, I am assuming, but I could also just ask him so he clears the air.

@Asuun, when you said, "Na me go sweep, mop and fetch water," do you mean your friend left these chores entirely for you to do, or what? Was it that you felt you had paid him back since you did most of those chores while you stayed with him?

Nefort:
➜That's what you should have asked right from the beginning and not making wrong assumptions I hardly lose arguments on this forum. Next time make sure you think properly before quoting me.

Asuun:
“Not even enemies move like that” — Man recounts how a friend he sheltered for 9 months ghosted him after relocating abroad without a word 🥲✈️

Maliq said he never expected betrayal from someone he fed and housed during tough times. Three years later, he’s still processing the silence.



https://x.com/MasterMaliq/status/1951754152532468046?t=hWo9loDCp0Mt6AqRjcPC2A&s=19[/quote]I had somewhat similar experience, but not exactly. I had just gotten a nice paying job, but no salary yet. Then this my tight pal called that his visa was out (I knew about the process all along) he needed some money for flight and all that. I knew it would look odd giving him any excuse at that time, we had come a long way, plus he knew I just started working (it was a time I was supposed to have received at least my first salary, but there were some challenges in my documentation by HR so the salary would come in areas.
So I had to borrow 40k in from my woman, when dolar was less than N100.
My guy travelled eventually. Once once we were in touch, I was a big boy and needed nothing from him. In fact, at the time, his salary was not more than mine down home, his was in pounds but mine was in Ngn.
First red shot. " years later my man sent some stuff (honestly till date I don't know the full content, but he had mentioned a footwear or so). He sent it to his sister, who contacted me and told me she had some stuff from her brother for me. We were living in the same town where she lived with her husband/boyfriend. I was excited. We agreed she would come by my office (which was by the road and she passes through every now and then according to her). But suddenly, the next day, she called and told me she won't be able to come (even though i told her to take her time, that whenever she is coming that direction, I wasn't in a hurry). but when she called, she insisted I must come to her house.
Me, i just laughed within me. I never went.
Second shot.
Some 6 years or so later. My guy arrived Nigeria. Some weeks later someone called me to tell me. I was so disappointed. He has made efforts later to salvage the relationship but I just felt it was not worth it.
There is an expiry to some relationships, and when the time comes, don't bat an eyelid, just let it go.

Kobojunkie:
How can an assumption be wrong if it has yet to be verified as such, in this case by Asuun, the one whose story the assumption was made about? Are you sure you are OK at all?

The guy never respond, but you don conclude say it could not be the case. Are you sure you are alright at all?

Nefort:
➜The term "wrong assumption" has nothing to do with whether you will eventually be right in the future. It's about not presenting a case as fact when it is not yet proven.
➜ You earlier mentioned the guy was turned to a slave with full conviction even when the guy didn't clearly say so. As long your statement is not yet proven it will remain a wrong assumption. For now your assumption is wrong. But if the guy eventually proves you right then it becomes a right assumption.

Kobojunkie:
He said, "Na me go sweep, mop and fetch water." This leads me to believe that his friend may have left him to do these things alone, and he may have considered it payment for his friend's kindness to him.

Kobojunkie:
...2. Of course! It is common courtesy to clean up when you are living with anyone else. But what if the person you are living with instead decided you were a slave who needed to be ordered around instead ?

Kobojunkie:
How can a case presented as a may have be construed as a fact?
Are you sure you are OK?

2. Clearly, there seems to be a lack in the comprehension department here. What I instead posited is as follows:

ruffhandu:
I had somewhat similar experience, but not exactly. I had just gotten a nice paying job, but no salary yet. Then this my tight pal called that his visa was out (I knew about the process all along) he needed some money for flight and all that. I knew it would look odd giving him any excuse at that time, we had come a long way, plus he knew I just started working (it was a time I was supposed to have received at least my first salary, but there were some challenges in my documentation by HR so the salary would come in areas.
So I had to borrow 40k in from my woman, when dolar was less than N100.
My guy travelled eventually. Once once we were in touch, I was a big boy and needed nothing from him. In fact, at the time, his salary was not more than mine down home, his was in pounds but mine was in Ngn.
First red shot. " years later my man sent some stuff (honestly till date I don't know the full content, but he had mentioned a footwear or so). He sent it to his sister, who contacted me and told me she had some stuff from her brother for me. We were living in the same town where she lived with her husband/boyfriend. I was excited. We agreed she would come by my office (which was by the road and she passes through every now and then according to her). But suddenly, the next day, she called and told me she won't be able to come (even though i told her to take her time, that whenever she is coming that direction, I wasn't in a hurry). but when she called, she insisted I must come to her house.
Me, i just laughed within me. I never went.
Second shot.
Some 6 years or so later. My guy arrived Nigeria. Some weeks later someone called me to tell me. I was so disappointed. He has made efforts later to salvage the relationship but I just felt it was not worth it.
There is an expiry to some relationships, and when the time comes, don't bat an eyelid, just let it go.

Asuun:
Possible Reason

While he squatted same friend, he would have also mistreated him badly and he had to endure the mistreatment. Some friends are terrible. When u start cohabiting with them, that's when you will know their true colors. I am speaking from experience. I was once squatted by a friend for two months and I saw Shege Banza in his house. He would text me to delay my coming home from work because he is Knacking a woman at home. Sometimes he will even preinform me to look for somewhere else to pass the night since his woman would be coming to sleep over for two or three days.
Na me go sweep, mop and fetch water. And I'm even five years older than him o. The day I finally got my own place, I had a relief. But I remain grateful to him.
It's well