₦airaland Forum

Good evening Nairalanders,

I'm so sorry to bore you all with such long episode, I tried to make It brief, but I thought It's appropriate to spill all that has been happening between I and my wife.

About a year ago my wife got pregnant, which led to us eventually getting married, after eventually delivering the baby through CS, although she's not supposed to have birthed with CS but It ended that way because she wanted to birth our son on my birthday, like she wanted us both to have the same birthday which later became a reality because she's almost due for delivery, just a week remaining, so on the morning of my birthday she went to the hospital and got herself Induced which later ended up In her birthing through CS.

Our son Is a year and 5 day's old already, and since then we've done 3 abortions, although she has been pestering for family planning but I have always refused due to my daily reckless sexcapade, on a regular and daily basis. I also really needed the family planning to be done but at same time I've been avoiding It and coming up with excuses whenever she reminded me about It, due to the fact that she told me that all tests would be carried out before they'd proceed with the family planning, but I'm just so scared of what the results of some of the tests might seem, most especially HIV, hepatitis and the rest of deadly STDS out there.

Back to the topic, I already made mentioned that we've aborted 3 pregnancy ever since a year ago after she gave birth, and the last being two days ago.

The first came in barely 4 months after she gave birth, It was too early so we terminated it, and the second came 3 months later, we wanted to keep it but our son got seriously sick and we assumed it was due to the pregnancy so we terminated it, and the last that we terminated two days ago have been what's currently causing issues between us.

When we newly found out she was pregnant recently, I insisted she terminate it but she disagree, few days later she's the one insisting that we terminate it and seeing our son I disagreed mainly due to the fact that what if we had terminated it like other 8 we've terminated back then we were still dating and before we got married, and the reminder three we terminated after we got married. But she was still insisting that we terminate it, with her always reminding me I told her to do what she likes, then she said she need my word to agree that I fully backed her removing it and stand by the decision, I agreed, but I was angry but didn't tell her anything or admitted I'm angry and my response didn't come directly from my heart, she actually thought it came from my mind but it didn't, ever since she removed the pregnancy, I had refused to talk to her, It's not mainly due to the pregnancy she removed but due to the flimsy excused she made when I asked her that if she's not scared for her life due to the numerous abortions, I asked her if to dey do abortions dey sweet her, I plainly told her that if tomorrow she got pregnant and start having miscarriages due to her womb not strong enough to carry pregnancies due to numerous abortions she has done in the past and most especially this in particular that she insisted we terminate, that I will leave with immediate effect without blinking an eye, or get other girls pregnant outside our marriage, that even now that we're still married that she decide to terminate a pregnancy due to excuses that I will get another girl pregnant and none of her family members would dare question or talk to me anyhow, that I will give them problem they've never seen In their entire existence before, as she choose to remove pregnancy inside marriage that after all I do not intend getting married to her but I did due to pressure from her, when we decide to leave the only pregnancy we haven't aborted, that she was the one pressuring me to remove shame from her eyes and marry her, which I did.

Nevertheless, here are the flimsy excuses she gave regarding not wanting to keep the pregnancies, with of course I won't be biased here, every single thing she said is 100% true.

She said that when she was pregnant with our first son that she went through hell crying every day and night due to my nonchalant attitude, that I'm not always at home, going out every blessed day around 9AM to drink and coming home around 12 or latest 1 on a daily basis carrying different girls and having raw sex with them without condom as she's very much aware how I hate sex with condom, that when we first met she recalled insisting on condom which I brought out not knowing that I have already bursted a huge hole at the tip of the condom and the sex later ending as raw sex, I don't know how she found out that I'm still doing same with every girls I have had sex with on a daily basis until date, but it's true, I won't deny that.

She made mentioned that she initially wanted to keep the pregnancy but she decide to terminate it due to the way I'm behaving she talked about the way I treated her last week Sunday and every other day, that she prays I've changed if she eventually got pregnant again, which I plainly told her to rot in hell that absolutely no way she and I are going to have another baby again, and if eventually I ever decide to sleep with her and she eventually got pregnant she will continue terminating every pregnancy as there's no single change forthcoming, as she already had petty excuse to terminate a pregnancy.

She made mentioned that if mood swings that normally accompany pregnancy eventually start, if I would be able to handle it. She made mentioned that when she was pregnant with our first son I was always quarreling her on a daily basis and some time beating her, which I won't deny but I didn't do such more than 3 times, in fact ever since we started dating and got married which is up to 4 years and counting, I have never laid my hands on her up to 6 times in total, God Almighty bear me withness, there was a day we had issues which got out both parents involved, she told them that I'm beating her, I couldn't believe that she could do such, nevertheless that's bygone.

She made mentioned that she's always begging me day and night to love and give her attention, which I won't deny, I really do not love her and I give her no atom of attention, but I reminded her about those working outside the country that normally goes to their wives once a year, stay a week or two and return back, that even if the wife is pregnant she won't cry for love and attention for a whole 9 months until she eventually gave birth because she clearly knows the husband is not around, I reminded her that what if she's one of those women, what would she do, that she should imagine herself in that shoe and stop crying for love and attention on a daily basis.

She made mentioned that whenever she ask me for money that I always complain and shout at her that I don't have, all the time. This is true but I always also give her the money even after shouting and complaining that I don't have.

She complained that she have nothing doing but I'm driving two cars that she has been begging me for years to open business for her but I would always tell her that she should have had something doing before entering into marriage, that she got married to me with the hope that I would rescue her, that other girls that have something doing before getting marriage do not have two heads that she should go and meet her father to open business for her that I'm not her father "although her father Is late" that sometimes even if she tells or call me that she's hungry that I would tell her that I'm not her father, that she's leveraging on the marriage to dump all her responsibilities on me that she's a full grown adult with two hands and two legs like me, so she should fend for herself.

And lastly, she made mentioned that she was willing to keep the baby but she don't want a situation whereby she would start thinking critically again. I'm very much aware that she does loves me so terribly, and would do anything for me absolutely anything that I can think of, I can vouch anywhere that if I develop kidney disease today, she's ready to sacrifice one of her kidney for me, but I don't know why I can't reciprocate her love care and everything else back, worst still this recent development really so hardened my heart towards her, It makes me have a certain hatred for her that I wasn't there before.

To round things up, it's been more than 24 hours and counting that I left house, I haven't spoke to her, returned her picked her numerous calls, or returned her WhatsApp and endless Facebook tests.

I'm surprised and amazed that she's have been claiming that she don't know what she did to me, that she has been asking me what she did but I'm not talking, I had wanted to respond that it's due to the pregnancy she aborted but I still don't want to talk to her yet or return home, I will return home and finally talk to her next tomorrow, maybe by then my anger might have calmed a bit. Nevertheless, I'm currently In an hotel having a constant thought of everything that had transpired.

Below are screenshot of her chats asking me what she did, which of course I'm so surprised that she's asking such even when the answer to her question Is crystal clear and glaring.

More screenshots, more screenshots, more screenshots...

More screenshots, more screenshots, more screenshots

Verily verily I say unto you, people have started escaping from Aro...this calls for a national emergency!

Your woman deserves a better person in her life. You are not worthy of a drop of her tears neither her heartache

Continue. You are doing well.

Oniranu

Instead of allaying her fears and worries u are here seeking validation for your selfish moves.

Have u ever thought about the pains they going through trying to bring a child into this world and everything that accompanies it?

Some men sha

Sooo, you're a shameless, horrible married man who married a woman you didn't love but only due to your impregnating her, who has 'daily reckless sexcapades' (raw sex) with other women, and due to the awful ways you treat your wife, have treated her, and your beating her during her previous pregnancies, she decided to terminate her recent pregnancy, as she has terminated other pregnancies before and even after marriage. Soooo, because you didn't want her to terminate this pregnancy (knowing you've no ounce of love for her and won't show her any love or attention during the pregnancy, as you don't show her these, pregnant or not), you've packed out of the house. Soooo, it's her we should be blaming, huh? Are you not a monster?

Pick her call and go home. If she gets used to you not responding, you will forever blame yourself.

If it's not attention you seek, then you're a sociopath.
Women can be so loving, and they can also be so deadly, it all depends on how you treat them.



Tinubu, a bad man with good intention

I keep writing and spam bot keep deleting. What this guy need is a brutal counseling

When parents refuse to empower their female children, through education or learning a trade, then such a female child will end up as t0y in the hands of men. If not for lack of what to do, what would make a lady spend hours on phone sending messages to a partner wh0 doesn't deserve it. She doesn't know where her next meal will come from and she isn't ready to work and be useful to herself.

This is not a healthy relationship. It’s emotionally and physically abusive. your wife needs support, healing and possibly separation from you for for her mental, physical, and emotional safety.

you needs serious therapy. you are toxic, unfaithful, and completely lacking in accountability.

your child is growing up in a volatile home, and that’s a tragedy in itself.

your wife need to leave if she has sense and seek help.

Our son Is a year and 5 day's old already, and since then we've done 3 abortions

Blood of jesus

I have always refused due to my daily reckless sexcapade, on a regular and daily basis.

Omo

Like what am i reading I need timeout. Make i go touch grass come. Nwa waooo! Nnkan NBe!

I don't know if I read everything well, she did 8 abortions before marriage and 3 after you got married? That's 11 abortions? Una be murders o
I think someone needs to save her from you. You are the wor$t thing that should ever happened to a woman. She is already emotionally and mentally attached to you and you are taking advantage of that.

Ladies please have your own life before you say yes to a man
Things dey happen eheen
Well, I no dey put mouth for husband and wife matter. God go help una o

DonEd:
Instead of allaying her fears and worries u are here seeking validation for your selfish moves.

Have u ever thought about the pains they going through trying to bring a child into this world and everything that accompanies it?

Some men sha

9 months pains? And the pains a man goes through? A life time pain, hustling day and night to provide for a woman, abi to work money easy? You're comparing something of just mare 9 months to the awful daily pains a man goes through until the day he dies.

NotOfThisWorld:
Sooo, you're a shameless, horrible married man who married a woman you didn't love but only due to your impregnating her, who has 'daily reckless sexcapades' (raw sex) with other women, and due to the awful ways you treat your wife, have treated her, and your beating her during her previous pregnancies, she decided to terminate her recent pregnancy, as she has terminated other pregnancies before and even after marriage. Soooo, because you didn't want her to terminate this pregnancy (knowing you've no ounce of love for her and won't show her any love or attention during the pregnancy, as you don't show her these, pregnant or not), you've packed out of the house. Soooo, it's her we should be blaming, huh? Are you not a monster?

And I didn't best her during her last pregnancy, I haven't hit her to the point she has a swollen eyes or lips, like some other men does to their wives on a weekly basis, I nor bad reach like that. Nor dey tag me wetin I nor be.

So those that their man lives abroad who's there with them to show them love and attention during the period of their pregnancy?

I didn't packed out of the house, I only went out temporarily and would be returning two days from now.

StPete:
Pick her call and go home. If she gets used to you not responding, you will forever blame yourself.

I would be glad If such eventually happens, I'm not living the life that I want, I need a woman whom would love me and I would also love her in return, and not a one sided love like what I'm currently experiencing, no sexual attraction etc. Na me wear shoes na me know where he for dey pain me.

ShobayoEmma:
If it's not attention you seek, then you're a sociopath.
Women can be so loving, and they can also be so deadly, it all depends on how you treat them.



Tinubu, a bad man with good intention

I'm equally as well also deadly, no woman go chook hands for my eyes and I go fold arms dey look her, an eye for an eye, no one has the monopoly of violence. A man can also be so loving and equally as well deadly, tit for tat.

DSS1335:
I keep writing and spam bot keep deleting. What this guy need is a brutal counseling

Because of all that I said, in which I forgot to state that I'm responsible in taking care of my son, I always provide his needs, even though I normally complains before doing it, I still does it, so when it comes to that aspect regarding being responsible for my son, It's a pass for me.

LilMissFavvy:
When parents refuse to empower their female children, through education or learning a trade, then such a female child will end up as t0y in the hands of men. If not for lack of what to do, what would make a lady spend hours on phone sending messages to a partner wh0 doesn't deserve it. She doesn't know where her next meal will come from and she isn't ready to work and be useful to herself.

And who told you that she doesn't have some savings to fend for herself?

motymop:
This is not a healthy relationship. It’s emotionally and physically abusive. your wife needs support, healing and possibly separation from you for for her mental, physical, and emotional safety.

you needs serious therapy. you are toxic, unfaithful, and completely lacking in accountability.

your child is growing up in a volatile home, and that’s a tragedy in itself.

your wife need to leave if she has sense and seek help.

Anything when one happen make he happen, if she one go make she go, women full everywhere.

motymop:
This is not a healthy relationship. It’s emotionally and physically abusive. your wife needs support, healing and possibly separation from you for for her mental, physical, and emotional safety.

you needs serious therapy. you are toxic, unfaithful, and completely lacking in accountability.

your child is growing up in a volatile home, and that’s a tragedy in itself.

your wife need to leave if she has sense and seek help.

Anything when one happen make he happen, if she one go make she go, one thing I will never ever do In my life and day to day existence Is to beg a woman to stay, when women full everywhere?