₦airaland Forum

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

This is the simple answer to your question on whether she is right,
If the girl is her daughter, would she make the same request?
As for you, are you sure taking her from private to government school with primary objective to enable her participate in house chores is one of the ways to raise a CHIMAMANDA?

Since she's a daughter of your cousin, treat her like yours. Ask your wife to get a maid for herself. Nature may use how well you treat that girl to determine how far your unborn daughter will go in life.

Or better still, send her back to your cousin and send them her school fees. Ensure she continues in a good private school

Household wickedness. Envious enemies. Glory killers.

This is the beginning of your wife's ploy to destroy the destiny of that girl.

Agree to this and more will surely come.

And OP since you keep saying you want peace, be rest assured that your wife will play the same game against your very own family too, even against you versus her children.

An evil person will always do evil.


It's a pity.

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

Your wife want to systematically turn the girl into a house girl I fear for the safety of this girl pls you can still take care of that girl in her parents house by enrolling her in a good school in the village if not the girl is a finito

Take the parents back to her parents. You can sponsor her education from there. If you insist on keeping the girl in your house things might become unpredictable for the girl and even you.

Women and their cunning ways—she wants the little girl to leave school and take care of her at home because she is pregnant. That doesn’t sound right. She should be honest and say that she feels uncomfortable seeing the little girl excel in everything. Awon obirin ati etekete won.

It is a shame you dont see what your wife is trying to do.
Remember, she opposed the idea of that child being in the same school as your son from the start? But since you are the one paying, you succeeded.
Now, the said girl is excelling better than her son, so that jealousy is there which you haven't senses, hence her desire to thwart her quality education, if not, why should it be public school?

and why the focus on a 7-year-old to help her when she gives birth? What does a 7-year-old know about taking care of things within the house?

Your wife has the tendencies of eastern women who use young children as maids.

You will see it with your own eyes,

You can keep the girl in her current school and get a maid/nanny to run chores and take care of the home, not a 7yr old please,
I'm happy you are alive.

Abeg, don't allow your wife to maltreat that girl, watch that child carefully.

Why can't she say both the girl and her son will run chores at home to make things easy for her, as she is pregnant, and when she delivers?
You can take that girl back to her parents and sponsor her from her parents' homes.

That your wife heart no pure

What I don't understand is the withdrawing from private schools. Why? Does she have to be withdrawn to do house chores?
So she cannot help when she comes back from private school ? It's looking like wickedness.


Both children are within the same age range , they will do their age appropriate chores shikena.


That said
One thing I will say though you can never get it right in the eyes of people when training another person's child. Let every parent train their child themselves.

Samantha125:
I'm curious, how will a 6 years old child help around the house and with your wife's business?

Crazy innit?

Commissiona:
Your wife is is calculating something, she needs factors to put into the equation to get her desired results.
Get it , she can't no longer stand the kid beat her kid , hence these her option.

Women can be petty at times. I know deep down she harbors resentment that the girl performs better than her boy.

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

I know how this will play out your wife may grace the news paper for child abuse very soon.. for the love of God send that girl back to her parents and ask your wife to bring her own person and see how happy she would be

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.


I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

That's wickedness

She is jealous of the girl even government school closes by 3pm too

You didn't bring her as househelp, did you?

If the girl were to be her daughter would she have said so?

Don't kill the girl's morale, i beg you pls

Don't answer your wife please make sure you remind her the girl is 7 if you agree she would take advantage of it to the fullest... She can cope just fyn let her include your son in the Business and house chores too that Way he too would learn.

She should drop lt and stop listening to people outside that are probably feeding her with hate,if that girl is good as you say try consider making your boy feel free let them learn together,you will enjoy that child... just don't send her away.

When she was pregnant the first time, who helped her?
Don't mind her jare.

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

Your wife doesn't have a good heart. She will treat the girl badly. It will get worse as time goes on.

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

I think you should read books or take courses on child psychology or developmental psychology. I believe you are well suited on the tracks of ruining your family by comparing your son's academic success with that of his "sister". A little research would have brought to light that a girl child's brain develops faster than that of a boy at the early stage. By default, they develope fine motor skills faster, enabling them to read, write, memorise, socialize etc faster than the boys. The boys however, catch up much later in life and even do better.

What an exposed father would do is not to make comparison, but consolidate on his efforts and ve resilient. Some of the comments you dropped here seemed contradictory to what you said you had put in place to help your son perform better and honestly, that should put your wife under pressure as well to want to protect "her own".


Please do not draw vile conclusion on your son. Let him continue to get all the support he can get. Same should apply to your "daughter". Do not enroll her in a government school. Have a deep conversation with your wife. Apologize for all the vile comments you may have said in respect to your son's performance and reiterate your commitment.

Op, please, read the comments on the first page of this post well. Alot of the early comments are just very straight to the point and devoid of sentiment. Send the gal back to the parents or prevail on your wife to allow her continue in that sch. Treat her well, this life get as e be. U don't know what the future holds. If u choose to send her back, enroll and take care of her in a similar school. She is bright.

Like your wife wants to turn a 7 year old girl to a house help abi wetin?

Kai, people dey o

Anyway bro, kindly resist that your wife's plan or simply send the girl back to her parents jejely and let your son take over from there.

Thank you for your attention to this matter!

Israel5:
She's almost 12 now.

This post has been removed.

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

simple, since ur wife is pregnant and she feels very lazy to do her job herself bcus tgere is a 7years old girl around, then just withdraw both the girl ams the boy from the school, enrol both of them in the school that closes early, so they could both assist your wife...

One funny thing is a child who was raised with preference while seeing another child being maltreatment will always or almost be a bad spoiled child in the future

Commissiona:
Your wife is is calculating something, she needs factors to put into the equation to get her desired results.
Get it , she can't no longer stand the kid beat her kid , hence these her option.

The wife is funny sha, how would a 7 years help with house activities if it is so is her boy already helping at home?.

But instead of her to always make sure that anytime the little girl takes her books to study she should scold her son to join the girl in studying but no she wouldn't rather she became envy of the little girl to the extend of want to change her school in disguise of helping at home, what a manipulative wife...

Seunomobo:
Honestly, I think you should listen to your wife without questioning her motives, as a wife who's had a similar experience, I can relate.
My husband's niece lives with us, and I treat her like a helper. I've noticed that people who criticize wives in similar situations are often single or haven't had to deal with relatives staying with them and before having my husband's niece live with us, I was one of those quick to judge. But now, I see things differently. I use her help a lot, and my priority will always be my children. Let's be real, family dynamics can be complicated, and it's natural to prioritize our own blood relatives. Nobody will prioritize you like your parents do. We're all guilty of using people to some extent, and it's evident in our society.

By the way, nobody should quote me preaching the holy gospel to me, it will not change my stance, everyone is a user and it's evident in our society of today ...

Hiannnn̈nnnnnnnn!!!!!!

Omo see the way she defended her evil actions

pocohantas:
Hiannnn̈nnnnnnnn!!!!!!

I am a family man with Three kids, the last been a girl and 8 years old. As much as I allow the kids to partake in house chores, there is a clear limitation to what my 8 year old girl could do at the moment. I can not imagine your wife suggesting that your adopted 7 year old girl be withdrawn from a private school where she is doing fine to a public school on sole ground of assisting her with house chores.
Please, return that girl to her parents where you picked her or retain her in her present school and get an adult helper for your wife. Your conscience will judge you in the future for aligning with her wicked mindset.

Sterope:
Omo see the way she defended her evil actions

For the first time words failed me o.

I am going to assume you are a Christian.

Everyone is sufficient as their one accountant (Quran) and you will find it most exciting to tell your God about this.

He will even show it you in case your forget sef

Seunomobo:
Honestly, I think you should listen to your wife without questioning her motives, as a wife who's had a similar experience, I can relate.
My husband's niece lives with us, and I treat her like a helper. I've noticed that people who criticize wives in similar situations are often single or haven't had to deal with relatives staying with them and before having my husband's niece live with us, I was one of those quick to judge. But now, I see things differently. I use her help a lot, and my priority will always be my children. Let's be real, family dynamics can be complicated, and it's natural to prioritize our own blood relatives. Nobody will prioritize you like your parents do. We're all guilty of using people to some extent, and it's evident in our society.

By the way, nobody should quote me preaching the holy gospel to me, it will not change my stance, everyone is a user and it's evident in our society of today ...