₦airaland Forum

Sterope:
I am going to assume you are a Christian.

Everyone is sufficient as their one accountant (Quran) and you will find it most exciting to tell your God about this.

He will even show it you in case your forget sef

pocohantas:
Hiannnn̈nnnnnnnn!!!!!!

Seunomobo:
Hian, Hian, I said what I said....

Seunomobo:
I am not a Christian, I do not believe in any one but myself....
Life is a jungle, learn from the animals madam

pocohantas:
For the first time words failed me o.

pocohantas:
Sister Seun have a change of heart.
I want to believe you are trolling us, but you seem to be serious. Please reflect on what you typed in your quiet time.

Sterope:
That is alright.

Again, this will be revisited. Have a long life!

RillJ:
Jealousy and envy stinks from these developments and may soon grow into resentment and hatred.
The the girl was her biological child would she have advocated for the enrolment in public school? NO.
If the girl was her niece instead of yours, would she champion the discrimination? Most likely NO

Talk with you wife please. The little girl's promising future is at stake here. If your wife want, let her get an help from her family side. But if she insist on this same smart girl being moved to a public school, then consider sending the child to her parents with your continuous sponsorship.

Meanwhile, your son not topping his class for now shouldn't bother you much, he will come around. So long as he is disciplined, he will come out good.

Seunomobo:
I'll be waiting

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

Sterope:
Say..."So wait; indeed, we, along with you, are waiting"


- Surah Tawbah Vs 52

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

Seunomobo:
I don't believe in your fictional story book.
Let it judge you who practice the acts in it not me..

Seunomobo:
Sister Poco really, have a change of heart, just like that?.
I remember when my mom was ill, he wouldn't even give me money to visit her, let alone help with hospital bills and I also do remember in the early days of our marriage when I wanted to bring in my niece, he said nobody could live with us but It's ironic that he had no issue bringing his niece to live with us, expecting me to take care of her needs beyond what he contributes (which is just her school fees and feeding ) but He wants me to buy her clothes, toiletries, etc and treat her like my own daughter and If I don't, everyone will blame me. I've been buying second-hand clothes, shoes for her just to avoid cho chocho from ppl but the truth is, I'm not happy about it and going forward, I'm done going out of my way for her. If he wants to support her, that's on him. I'm prioritizing my own family's needs.
Let everyone take care of their family...It's simple.

pocohantas:
I understand your grievance over what happened in the early years of your marriage, but you see you kept saying "HE". Your husband was (is) the problem, not the innocent child. I have said it here many times that a woman's attitude to people below her (domestic staff) can most times be directly traced to her husband and alfa mails came for me. But it is what I witnessed first hand. Anytime my aunty catches her husband with his sidechicks, she would turn tigress and since she couldn't do anything to him _she took it out on us.

Nothing surprises me about what he did. Financial abuse is common in Nigerian marriages. And Naija men operate a who pays the piper dictates the tune. Until it is the woman paying and they want her to virtuously pass the glory to her husband. However, I am sure you should know to train your feelings not to be dependent on him. If you don't do this, you will turn into an inhumane madame without knowing. Mine is not perfect either, so I don't allow his shortcomings influence my actions towards to others. Not even his family. Let alone a child.

Today my siblings don't talk to my aunty. If she calls with another number and they hear her voice, they end the call immediately and block. I am the only one who found a place in my heart to forgive her for the sake of her suffering kids. I appeal to you to let this go. In future that child may be the only one in your husband's family to speakup for you. 🙏🙏🙏

Seunomobo:
Honestly, I'm done with this family situation and already planning my exit, when I help out, I don't expect praise or reciprocation in the same form, but I do expect some kind of return or mutual benefit, that's why when I buy things for her, I make sure she pays me back in kind. It's a fair exchange, not charity. I don't want empty praises or for people to think I'm doing it out of the goodness of my heart. It's a win-win for both of us, and I'm very clear about my boundaries....
Thank u

pocohantas:
For the first time words failed me o.

pocohantas:
Lol. I get your point sha.
But you see I didn't beg for your husband.
Na the pikin I beg for. 😈😈😈

Israel5:
Please (even though I know my appeal with fall on deaf ears too numerous to count in this forum), approach this issue with logic and without prejudice to the people involved.

My wife and I are duly blessed with a son who is in his basic 5 now. Also, we decided to get the daughter of one of my cousin to stay with us. She is one of 7 children. So I wanted to help raise a CHIMAMANDA.

As my rule, every child of same age under my room attends the same school and calls us Dad & Mum. The school part didn't quite seat well with my wife, who had a different opinion, but I prevailed anyway. Because na me dey pay school fees.

The girl is a year older than my son, but due to the level of education at the village before she came over, we made her be in the same class as my son. She met my son in primary 2. Now they are both in basic 5.

A shocker happened: This girl keeps coming up in the class, while my son keeps running away from the top. We've tried extra lessons, even tried changing schools. Now it looks as if the girl is better suited for school than my boy. She reads, spells and memorizes things too marvellous. I bought a dictionary cos of that.

I even buy gifts for her (for coming top) more than I do for my boy, to make him sit up, but my pikin nor send me o. Guy use cry & Woman power make me buy am bicycle. 😁

I would think he's being a spoilt boy, who believes daddy & mommy is there, I don't really know. But I am hopeful.

Now, my major issue is my heavily pregnant wife. She wants the girl to be changed/enrolled at a different school. In her defence, she wants her to be available to help her take care of things. The kid's school close by 3pm. She suggest government school that close earlier. I see sense in what she said but I feel like I'll be unfair to this young girl.

When I tried to have a healthy debate on the idea. Na so madam start to dey talk plenty tins wey I nor fit type.
I have accepted to do her wish from September for peace.

Please, do you see another way I could avoid problems?

Is she right to have asked that I changed the girl's school just because she needs help around the house & her business?

Kobojunkie:
Wait a second! What was your original intention in taking the girl in at the beginning? To use her in raising your own family or to adopt her as one of your own kids?

2. So, your wife is looking for a slave and not an employee? And she believes this gal is meant to be a slave for her purpose, something you seem to think makes sense?

If you say your wife is not looking for a slave in this case, then why can't the chores be distributed between your son and the girl? Or is your son not intelligent enough to handle chores or something? Help me understand why you are asking us this question, because what is obvious is that your wife is not happy that this gal is getting the same treatment as her blood in the home.

Rodinat:
Send the girl to a boarding school, that was what my late dad did to prevent my step mom wahala.
Just tell her you are sending her back to the village.
The girl should be going to the village for holidays. Don't let her set foot in your house again, She will be happy about her going to the village. Don't let her know you are sponsoring the girl. The end will justify the means.