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I honestly don’t know anymore I’m lost thought giving my life to Christ on Sunday would be a turning point but 3 days in I’m back to my old ways, I genuinely believed I was done and had a bright future , done over 3,000 applications for a job no result to show for it, over 40 interviews nothing , had final rounds with Google, Scotiabank and so many companies can’t count it , nothing yet no response yet, I’m 28 still living with my sister a complete failure and disgrace to my soul , I had dreams and ambitions to run a Tech company and all, at 20 won the Tony Elumelu grant, life was good , mentally I was at my best so exited talking with fellow startup founders being in that space and all, now I can’t even get an NOC job, even non NOC job like Tim Hortons I can’t get meanwhile then I was getting noticed by big accelerator hubs, getting responses and replies from founders that have raised Series B funding and building amazing companies ,

I live with my sister, I've analyzed our relationship its one sided I'm of no use to her at all, maybe my use is helping out with my nieces and nephews which I would do happily cause I love them so much, but except that I'm literally of no use at all, she's a medical doctor in an amazing career, what exactly is my use or contribution if we are to be sincere and objective absolutely nothing, literally nothing, where I stay im just occupying space adding absolutely nothing to it, I don't pay for it, so what exactly is your usefullness Teeyee. If we weren't siblings I would have been packed out since cause I add nothing absolutely nothing. I can't pay for anything 😂, except giving my kidney even that would be rejected lol 😂. Instead she gives me money at 28 isn’t that shameful Teeyee, shouldn’t you be ashamed , Roqueeb is married , he married at 27 ooo, Chidera is married at 28, he just came into Canada less than 7 months ago you’ve been in Canada for almost 3 years now and he’s 1,000 times better off than you would ever be .

My brother , let’s not even go there , I literally don’t add a single thing to his life , no advise, nothing can’t even think of one thing except that we just brothers , he’s so well off and good that I’m not even worthy of even washing his car 😂. He can get people who can do that perfectly , if he was to conduct an interview for that job or role I would fail it without question wouldn’t even pass the HR screening process 😂😂. They would send me a rejection email like , we are moving forward with another candidate some automated nonsense.

My Sister , Joyce , similar story , I add nothing to her , I even inconvenience her, I sleep in same room with her, she pays for the room I don’t even add 1 cent, messing up her private space, barely able to live the bathroom clean and all. Absolutely nothing .

My mum , nothing , don’t really call her , I mean I don’t really call anyone too, every mum wants their children to succeed , I mean she has the medical doctor, the engineer, Joyce , and then the failure Teeyee, that can’t even send her $50 monthly , can’t buy her anything at all, be collecting fuel money to pick up her goods , what kind of a son are you Teeyee, 😂. You should be ashamed of yourself honestly no kidding , you really should be ashamed of yourself Teeyee.

most of my friends are married and all , have beautiful families I’m still here, people I was way better than in school and smarter than. But I’m here 28 year old guy a complete failure and disaster, I live in Canada . Studied engineering and finished university at 20. I just don’t have it in me anymore, every single day I breathe and I’m awake is a torture and reminder of my failure , I rather go now than keep living a life of misery. I’m just exhausted and tired honestly, hopeless and just getting same rejections over and over and over again,

Giving my life to Christ while I felt good for a day or 2 showed no growth at all for me , I still somehow reverted to my old ways, I listen to testimonies in church of people and it’s feeling like all is a scam , God giving people amazing jobs, marriages and I’m here seeking 1% of that just 1% of that for over 1 year now, nothing absolute nothing to show for it.

The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill himself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.”

I’m just at that point now but then the fear of heaven and hell and if religion is a scam or real knowing the white people and how they can manipulate people, they brought religion to us, we were serving our own Gods peacefully but they brought this Christianity to us, at this point if I see a God that can bring me out of this misery I would worship. is heaven even real, is hell even real, what is the bible teaching on it, all these gives me doubts about just leaving until I get answers , don’t even think God knows me or gives a shit about me lol. I mean if he does I would be here I guess. Or even figuring out if heaven and hell has a HR department cause I would be rejected as usual to both with some generic message, we moving on with another candidate or something along those lines😂😂😂😂.

I only ever paid rent for 2 years while i didn’t like the job I felt like a man and a responsible person in that time, but now I feel like a secondary school person , still living with my sister no job no family nothing , can’t even date, what do I have to offer, my pathetic failure of a life lol 😂😂. I wouldn’t even wish that on my worst enemy to date me lol.

I’m of no use to anyone, I don’t add any value to anyone at all, only value I add or can add is failure upon failure upon failure , even if I go now or die, no one would even notice 😂😂, like what was Teeyee existence for initially like Teeyee, you don’t even do anything for anyone to begin with so why exactly should we even cry or miss him lol 😂. I mean if we talking about failures oh sure , we can think of him , but about serious things in life oh please he can leave if he wants to no one really cares let’s just be honest 😂😂.

I honestly don’t know or who I can talk to , I’m not seeking attention or some nice words to hear , I just don’t know anymore, I just don't know anymore,

Probably would get text book replies or responses I guess , or that I'm seeking attention or bothering people with real jobs and careers, and those God have chosen to be useful on earth not you.

Well maybe I'm wrong maybe I'm right but at the end of it all its probably worth it I guess.

I miss my Dad so much now, maybe if he was here he would have given me one or two of his Quotes 🥹. He does have a lot of quotes, really interesting ones. I remember one he always says, ‘’the moment of greatest tiredness is just before the Goal is reached’’ . Well Dad that moment has been over 1 year now. Moment like the word is isn't in infinity or perpetuity,

If you ever read this know at least I've tried my best, don't see myself reaching 30 😂. 2 years from now lol 😂. 30 and a colossal failure, at least have some shame and hide yourself in the Grave that's more honorable than carrying your shame 6ft5 inches tall for the whole world too see lol.

Not like the world even cares 😂😂😂😂😂. You a nobody never forget that.

Well I'm not writing again, just have to figure out the heaven and hell thing and I should be good.

Maybe I could help someone reading this from jumping out of their own burning building and quitting but maybe not cause I doubt I even have the capacity too lol . But just maybe I could , maybe.

Thanks

You need to see and talk to a therapist bro first off. What happened to the project that won you the grant? You didn't take advantage of the mentorship behind the programme to grow your business?

All you need is gratitude, bro. Be grateful for everything and stop comparing yourself to others. Till you can look within, and count your blessings one by one, that's when you'd be mentally prepared to handle life. You think not having a job in Canada is the worst/best thing that can/will happen to you in life?

Funny enough, na people like you dey fear to take the jump when skydiving or boujee jumping.

If you count your blessings, you would realise having a family - a rich one at that, having good health are also riches.

Enjoy your unemployment bro. You would miss it when you get a job finally. Enjoy your single life too, you would miss it when in a relationship or married. Live the moment and have an abundance mindset(meaning taking all the resources, money, and time) you have now as all that you need to be great. Instead of looking at someone else's or what you don't have.

guysis:
You need to see and talk to a therapist bro first off. What happened to the project that won you the grant? You didn't take advantage of the mentorship behind the programme to grow your business?

Wouldn’t it be like I’m seeking attention, hence why I came to a faceless forum like this

imustsaymymindo:
All you need is gratitude, bro. Be grateful for everything and stop comparing yourself to others. Till you can look within, and count your blessings one by one, that's when you'd be mentally prepared to handle life. You think not having a job in Canada is the worst/best thing that can/will happen to you in life?

Funny enough, na people like you dey fear to take the jump when skydiving or boujee jumping.

If you count your blessings, you would realise having a family - a rich one at that, having good health are also riches.

Enjoy your unemployment bro. You would miss it when you get a job finally. Enjoy your single life too, you would miss it when in a relationship or married. Live the moment and have an abundance mindset(meaning taking all the resources, money, and time) you have now as all that you need to be great. Instead of looking at someone else's or what you don't have.

I think I get you honestly , but always feel frustration is when your goals and reality is too far apart , I’ve always wanted to start a tech company be in that space , my plan was get a job , save money , leave start my own thing , but to even get a NOC job after so many interviews is difficult even getting a regular job . I honestly don’t know . I don’t want to seem ungrateful but my head is battling leaving a life of penury and mediocrity versus just calling it a day accepting my fate and exiting it peacefully , than living everyday being reminded of my failures and worthlessness , some people can do that or figure that out in their head, I just can’t do it, trying to just can’t .

canada123:
I think I get you honestly , but always feel frustration is when your goals and reality is too far apart , I’ve always wanted to start a tech company be in that space , my plan was get a job , save money , leave start my own thing , but to even get a NOC job after so many interviews is difficult even getting a regular job . I honestly don’t know . I don’t want to seem ungrateful but my head is battling leaving a life of penury and mediocrity versus just calling it a day accepting my fate and exiting it peacefully , than living everyday being reminded of my failures and worthlessness , some people can do that or figure that out in their head, I just can’t do it, trying to just can’t .

All what you just wrote is not factual, bro. It's your mind playing games on you. Like I said, you need to force yourself to practice gratitude. I just told you how rich you are, so what are you talking about penury? In any case you don't know, it could get worse. You are no better or have 2 heads than the homeless man. Which mediocre would be doing interviews with Google, Scotia, and have a good education at 28 years? I live you to this Robert Greene's quote maybe it'd make you feel better as regards your worth:

"Your faith in yourself should overcome your insecurities. Imagine yourself a King and you will become a King."

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imustsaymymindo:
All what you just wrote is not factual, bro. It's your mind playing games on you. Like I said, you need to force yourself to practice gratitude. I just told you how rich you are, so what are you talking about penury? In any case you don't know, it could get worse. You are no better or have 2 heads than the homeless man. Which mediocre would be doing interviews with Google, Scotia, and have a good education at 28 years? I live you to this Robert Greene's quote maybe it'd make you feel better as regards your worth:

"Your faith in yourself should overcome your insecurities. Imagine yourself a King and you will become a King."

Thanks for the kind words , after so many rejections and no’s don’t even know if I deserve this words or I’m even good enough or it’s just my mind deceiving itself . Cause I have no results to show for it which is technically a fact . Just don’t know at this point . Never been at a point in life where I felt so hopeless and clueless and don’t even know what’s going on again. Like I just keep telling myself I don’t honestly know. Like I have no answers at all to it. Literally no answers

You said you once worked and that despite not liking the job, you felt useful like a man. The problem seems to be from not getting the kind of jobs you want. In that case, I'll advise you to try getting such jobs for the time being while you still try your luck in getting your dream jobs.

I learnt that driving heavy duty vehicles pays well in the west, so why not give that a try? If you don't already know how to drive such vehicles, try and learn. You're just 28 and still has a long way and alot of opportunities ahead of you so, stop entertaining the thoughts of death. Instead, reinvent yourself and delve into other vocations that may not necessarily be engineering. You'll be surprised how you may come to love the vocation and have your story change for the better. Thank goodness you're in a society where hard work is rewarded regardless if it's white collar or blue collar job one is doing.

Arise and shine, young man!

canada123:
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Thanks for the kind words , after so many rejections and no’s don’t even know if I deserve this words or I’m even good enough or it’s just my mind deceiving itself . Cause I have no results to show for it which is technically a fact . Just don’t know at this point . Never been at a point in life where I felt so hopeless and clueless and don’t even know what’s going on again. Like I just keep telling myself I don’t honestly know. Like I have no answers at all to it. Literally no answers

When last did you have validational sex from a woman or many women at once? Sometimes, we men just want to let go of the steam lol. That could be your problem.

I work in big tech. You can get fired at anytime. So you obviously can't be having this mentality you have if you are going to work for one. You might get fired the month you are hired lol. What do you do? Back to depression? Lol.

The moment is all that matters, bro. Live it. Rn, I miss when I was unemployed, because I would be touring the world more if I was and taking more risk like working on products that can change my life in this AI booming era. So live the moment, and enjoy bro.

Jman06:
You said you once worked and that despite not liking the job, you felt useful like a man. The problem seems to be from not getting the kind of jobs you want. In that case, I'll advise you to try getting such jobs for the time being while you still try your luck in getting your dream jobs.

I learnt that driving heavy duty vehicles pays well in the west, so why not give that a try? If you don't already know how to drive such vehicles, try and learn. You're just 28 and still has a long way and alot of opportunities ahead of you so, stop entertaining the thoughts of death. Instead, reinvent yourself and delve into other vocations that may not necessarily be engineering. You'll be surprised how you may come to love the vocation and have your story change for the better. Thank goodness you're in a society where hard work is rewarded regardless if it's white collar or blue collar job one is doing.

Arise and shine, young man!

True , but vocation stuff or truck driving I know it’s just an example , but it’s off for me , like might make me more depressed , cause I would just dislike everyday of my life doing that. I just want a job that makes me think , use my brain, challenges me , and then I save enough money and go back to my tech and startup dream. Which I did at 20.

Hence why I’m into tech roles and hoping on Google to get back to me

Interviewed at Twitter, was rejected , Facebook was rejected, Accenture same , Scotiabank same , CIBC same , and so many big big companies can’t even remember them .

imustsaymymindo:
When last did you have validational sex from a woman or many women at once? Sometimes, we men just want to let go of the steam lol. That could be your problem.

I work in big tech. You can get fired at anytime. So you obviously can't be having this mentality you have if you are going to work for one. You might get fired the month you are hired lol. What do you do? Back to depression? Lol.

The moment is all that matters, bro. Live it. Rn, I miss when I was unemployed, because I would be touring the world more if I was and taking more risk like working on products that can change my life in this AI booming era. So live the moment, and enjoy bro.

I’m into tech space , last year took a business analysis course finished top of my class . Some of my colleagues have gone on to get top jobs and I’m still here .

I do well in a class setting and all, but struggle with HR especially at the final round . Just struggle , prepare really hard , practice but I get to final rounds but no offer letter .

Don’t know if anyone experiences this or it’s just me. Maybe I can be useful enough to help someone with my story, maybe just maybe I come out victorious from this or it perishes me, don’t know honestly

canada123:
True , but vocation stuff or truck driving I know it’s just an example , but it’s off for me , like might make me more depressed , cause I would just dislike everyday of my life doing that. I just want a job that makes me think , use my brain, challenges me , and then I save enough money and go back to my tech and startup dream. Which I did at 20.

Hence why I’m into tech roles and hoping on Google to get back to me

Interviewed at Twitter, was rejected , Facebook was rejected, Accenture same , Scotiabank same , CIBC same , and so many big big companies can’t even remember them .

You just need to get something doing while you wait and prepare yourself very well for future interviews. I'm not implying you should give up on your tech dreams but in the interim, get something doing. Then try to find out why you have not been getting jobs you were interviewed for before, work on them and keep trying. I'm sure you'll get your dream job soonest. If there are additional tech skills you need to acquire, acquire them so as to have an edge in your future interviews. Those who persist are those who win at last.

canada123:
I think I get you honestly , but always feel frustration is when your goals and reality is too far apart , I’ve always wanted to start a tech company be in that space , my plan was get a job , save money , leave start my own thing , but to even get a NOC job after so many interviews is difficult even getting a regular job . I honestly don’t know . I don’t want to seem ungrateful but my head is battling leaving a life of penury and mediocrity versus just calling it a day accepting my fate and exiting it peacefully , than living everyday being reminded of my failures and worthlessness , some people can do that or figure that out in their head, I just can’t do it, trying to just can’t .

Ask ten persons who are in a career job if that was their Plan A .... nine will tell you it was not. Do think they believe they are failures? ... unworthy? ... because they are not on the path to fulfill dream?... or their Plan A did not work out? Most people have a Plan A.....and a Plan B ... and if neither is working out they do whatever they can to make it in life. Do you have a Plan B?... I don't think so ...or you will not be up in here venting. If you ask me ... what's keeping you back is pride .... at 20 you were the Einstein ... and att 28 suppose to hold that title in terms of "success" .... frustrated because you are not ...not even in a better position than your peers who were average. If you keep thinking you're Einstein ... but jobless ...why wouldn't you be frustrated?...why wouldn't you think you're a failure? You believe you're that good ... and confine yourself to the "tech space" ... why don't you use your knowledge and skills to be self employed?...to be an innovator? ... instead of desperately seeking to be an employee? You have the time to be creative...why not work on something? Even if you want to be an employee....must you start at the top? You been sending out applications ...hundreds ... interviews been to many...but fail to scale through. Why do you think they seriously wanted to hire you? Most corporations hire from within ...people they already know their work ethics .. their ability to get along with others ...that fit the company's image. It is the reason if you want to work with a company ..you need to get your foot in the door ... they're hiring a cleaner ...you fight for that job ...once in ...you know what position is available when .... you then whip out your appropriate certification ...apply for the position and keep moving up.

You have it too good in life ... living and eating for free ... no bills to pay...no responsibilities whatsoever ... not even a child ... given pocket money ... not having to fac the harsh realities of life ... and you're here complaining.... wanting to get to your destination on a straight smooth expressway.... no detours.... no bad roads ... no roadblocks... keep waiting. Your siblings and whoever else is giving you a life of comfort.... they need to kick you out to face the harsh realities of life and reset your brain to survival mode.

canada123:
I’m into tech space , last year took a business analysis course finished top of my class . Some of my colleagues have gone on to get top jobs and I’m still here .

I do well in a class setting and all, but struggle with HR especially at the final round . Just struggle , prepare really hard , practice but I get to final rounds but no offer letter .

Getting a job is actually the anomaly. I'm sure only few of your colleagues got the jobs you are comparing yourself with. Take it easy on yourself, enjoy the damn moment and forget all of those past "top of my class". What are you doing with the present? How many certs have you gotten this unemployed period? What have you improved this unemployed period?

I know the feeling, at a point you feel like the whole world is at your finger tip waiting for you to take then next moment everything comes crashing down.

Someone advised you to try out truck driving but you felt it will be an odd job for you along with some other vocational jobs, so I know that you have options to earn money but you won't take this options just because you compare yourself with your brothers and sisters, those you feel you are better than intellectually, forgetting the bible quote that said "the race is not to the swift,nor understanding to the wise".

There are many routes to success, you just have to be desperate enough, God can't save you here, it's only your desperation and determination that can, I'll advise you to start small, stop comparing yourself or else High blood pressure will kill you before you even think of committing suicide.

My advise to you is these, get a job especially those kinds of jobs that offers accommodation or you can learn trucking since it will make you be on the road, you need to change your environment so as to stop seeing people you can compare yourself with, change sim if possible sef.

Set goals, as small as it can be, write it down, something as waking up by 4am and jogging 2km, then scale it up, try be putting small percentage of your wages aside so as to get your own apartment in a year or so, NEVER TAKE A LOAN either from family or bank. Let all your achievements be as a result of your work.

I have a lot to say but hand dey pain me.

Just an Update .

want to say a big thank you to all that helped shape my mindset for the better, just going through this thread now and it's light and darkness difference from where i was mentally to where i am currently,

Got an amazing job with a company in downtown Toronto, in october 2025 literally 2 months after putting out this thread. a company i had applied to gave me a call back and offered me a role.

here are my lessons, and still learning,

1. learnt to be very humble and take life a step at a time, this whole experience thought me true humility as i was humbled to me knees, for the first time ever, never had an answer to a problem, never happened to me all my years in life, always had a way out somehow.

2. learnt to appreciate the little things in life and take God very seriously, we don't know it all, and only God can guide us through the storms of life not our brillance or smartness.

still learning as time goes on,

have questions please i need answers to and guidance next post.

so my question is, would be 29 in April, i'm old i know lol

my next level is hopefully getting into a serious relationship and getting married by 30 or latest 31, by Gods grace.

my issue is im so so single and dont really understand women a lot , still learning them , also from a financial perspective since i'm just building back now due to my setback jobwise and all, i honestly don't know how to manage a lot and all, i see people getting married with 15m naira, 20m naira and having less than 10m after in their account basically spending all they have

might be wrong but i cant think of getting married without having a minimum of $50,000 in my account, steady cashflow monthly of not less than $5,000 minimum, and Zero credit card debt and consumer debt .

might sound very narrow minded but ran the numbers and anything less than this would be suffering to me or managing, these numbers above arent even big or make me rich lol, but to me it's a modest starting point and in few years can buy my home, keep saving aggressively and investing and building wealth in a soft and easy and stressless environment where basic financial expenses are easy to solve and not a hassle .

am i wrong or i have it all mixed up and how do people with less have a lovely life and do it.

i just don't have the answers and need direction please.

OP @canada123, I would like you to listen to these words from Kwame Nrumah:
"It is not the heights to which a man climbs that matter, but the depths from whence he came."

He wrote this in his 1959 autobiography: Ghana: The Autobiography of Kwame Nkrumah.

Take heart.