₦airaland Forum

Your sisters are the ones in best position to cater for the mom.

Not your wife !!!

Kobojunkie:
It is one thing to have your mother visit as a guest for a day or two, but having her over on a longstay or worse, because she is sick, then you need to be upfront and better negotiate her stay and care with your marriage partner.

Does the man and his wife have space for her during her stay? Will the man be responsible for his mother's care throughout her stay, or is this a ploy to bring in another human burden for his wife to have to deal with? Conversely, the man can easily send his mother to a care home or something where she would be better cared for.

some girls in nairaland can support nonsense. If her husband refuses to care for her other when she is sick, how would she feel? Tomorrow, she too will grow old and might need care. The way she treats her mother-in-law in not good and unethical.

Bringing the mum should never be an issue. I want to believe there is a reason their house is the most convenient. I remember when my late aunty was sick, her sons in-law refused to have her come over. So my mum had to bring her to our house. I wonder how her daughters are looking at their husbands now that she is dead.

Issues like this are handled with sense and a lot of empathy. Let her come __non-negotiable. Get a domestic staff to help out because tending to a home and a sick elder isn't easy. Imagine if they both have jobs. Na die be that.

Jayrow calm down! If you know you know

Understanding & finances are keys to running a family. We brought in my father-in-law when he was sick for treatment no less than three times. God knows I still want him to be with us.

I believe that good in-laws should be treated as one's family. They should not be treated differently from my own blood if they are good people.

There is no big deal.
Just make sure that you are not expecting your wife to be the sole care giver to your mum.
Taking care of the elderly is work and then taking care of a sick elderly person is more work.
Employ a care giver /nurse. You and your wife will supervise to ensure that she is well taken care of.

If both of you are working, employ a housekeeper too- nurse for care giving, housekeeper for helping out and running errands.
Also involve your sisters to contribute financially and make mama stay on rotation- 3 months per child or 6 months stay per child and the nurse and housekeeper can go with mama depending on convivnece. No be only you she born.
This is infact a family matter -involve your sisters, their husbands, not just you and your wife.

This is a good time to bond with her and she would also have the opportunity to be close to all her grandchildren.

Sonnobax15:

May we no marry werey as our partner,to spend the rest of our life with

Would she had refused if it was to be her own mother?

Na this kind of wife dey use attitude dey chase her husband family people from her husband simply because she sees them as a threat to their home

A woman who can't see and take her mother in-law to be like or even to be her own mother is a big red flag....

To think I once dated a girl who jokingly told me that she was happy my mom was late,cuz she wouldn't have loved to want a mother in-law,na from that day I realize say na agric fowl I dey date..

a lady I am yet to get married to once told me she won't allow me move my mum with me if we marry. I desponse weyrey. Mama wey don single handly fake care of her 5kids since dad pass on in 2005. Some girls will just be bringing problem upon them self.

Is man not abandoned wife and go for small small girls? Infact, when money come, is man not going for second wife and abandon wife that she stay with him during the time of struggles.

But the womans mother can come and stay in the house if she isn't well? Omoh this narrative is so annoying. For me I'd get a caregiver and damn what the wife says. Except the rooms in the House are few then we can say there is a challenge but if ther is an extra room, then why not

/
At old age, you can only count on your daughter(s) for care.

If capable, a son may only provide financial assistance.

/

ALLNIGERIANSMAD:
so you will abandon your mum in the hands of a nurse to please your wife right? Your mum would have been justified using postinor 2 to remove you

Seun, lalasticlala, spam bot won't ban this but when I reply to my taste I will get banned. Very good.

I must be mindful of the the kind of woman I would tie the knot with.

Some women can be naturally wicked especially to their fellow gender.. then if such woman could control the man in the house then, it's finished.. it's imperative to watch out for this kind of women to avoid regret..

D00msDay:
Na NL number one werrrrrreeyyyy.

That person nor just π0rmal at all

InvertedHammer:
/
At old age, you can only count on your daughter(s) for care.

If capable, a son may only provide financial assistance.

/

Rubbish!

So if you have only male children you will go and borrow daughter. Abi?

Taking care of the elderly is not gender specific.

Kobojunkie:
It is one thing to have your mother visit as a guest for a day or two, but having her over on a longstay or worse, because she is sick, then you need to be upfront and better negotiate her stay and care with your marriage partner.

Does the man and his wife have space for her during her stay? Will the man be responsible for his mother's care throughout her stay, or is this a ploy to bring in another human burden for his wife to have to deal with? Conversely, the man can easily send his mother to a care home or something where she would be better cared for.

I thought when a woman marries, the husband's mother becomes hers too, vice versa.

She's called "mother" inlaw.

This our generation is so weird.

If she refused my mother from coming to stay and be cared for while she's sick 🤮 her mother most never I mean never step foot in my street.

Mabuggi88:
Who be this one

U don't know .. Koboko... Jun..... kie... the number one master ... Thrash..... Comments.... tator

Kobojunkie:
It is one thing to have your mother visit as a guest for a day or two, but having her over on a longstay or worse, because she is sick, then you need to be upfront and better negotiate her stay and care with your marriage partner.

Does the man and his wife have space for her during her stay? Will the man be responsible for his mother's care throughout her stay, or is this a ploy to bring in another human burden for his wife to have to deal with? Conversely, the man can easily send his mother to a care home or something where she would be better cared for.

In his own house? He can't care for his mother there? You people dey sick o

Any woman that dislike the mother in law should understand that KAMA is real. Your sons will actual grow to be a husband tomorrow. I don't really see any reason she should denied that woman to be let in into her son's house. Did she actually know how they start. I so much detest any woman behaving this way. Your mother inlaw is your mother.

Chilipepper:
Nigerian man laments after his wife refused his request to bring his sick mother to their house

Are you the one married her? or she is the one that married you?Simp won't stop to amazed me.

Chilipepper:
What happened to the husband's sisters? If the man is not married, who will take care of the mum?

And to your comment, a reasonable man know that in situations like this, he needs 100% permission from his wife because who will be taking care of the mum? Is not the same wife? abeg try dey reason somethings well before you talk am out.

Sorry to sound this way. Such a wife is not qualify to be my wife.
Without my mum will she meet me? Does she know what it takes for her to raise me ?
I never have another mother but plenty women are there to replace her ASAP.
My word is final

babzlim:
If she refused my mother from coming to stay and be cared for while she's sick 🤮 her mother most never I mean never step foot in my street.

I swear bro. She is a demon. I can only have one mother after her no other one.
So how long is she going to live on earth that my wife can not take good care of her like she is her mother.
There is a blessing attached to it

AMI3:
I swear bro. She is a demon. I can only have one mother after her no other one.
So how long is she going to live on earth that my wife can not take good care of her like she is her mother.
There is a blessing attached to it

See selfish people.

So if your wife's mother also falls sick, she will now need to take care of two elderly people, take care of the kids too abi? And when her father falls sick, she will end up opening a care home so she can take care of all the elderly people in the family.


Mumu

nekyfine:
Any woman that dislike the mother in law should understand that KAMA is real. Your sons will actual grow to be a husband tomorrow. I don't really see any reason she should denied that woman to be let in into her son's house. Did she actually know how they start. I so much detest any woman behaving this way. Your mother inlaw is your mother.

Maybe his mother is also facing her own karma. Could that be possible?

pocohantas:
Bringing the mum should never be an issue. I want to believe there is a reason their house is the most convenient. I remember when my late aunty was sick, her sons in-law refused to have her come over. So my mum had to bring her to our house. I wonder how her daughters are looking at their husbands now that she is dead.

Issues like this are handled with sense and a lot of empathy. Let her come __non-negotiable. Get a domestic staff to help out because tending to a home and a sick elder isn't easy. Imagine if they both have jobs. Na die be that.

For the past 10years I have known you in this forum, your comments is always humanely and full of wisdom. People who want to live to old age do not want anything to do with aged people. It's about money, their comfort and theireselvess and their children. What elderly people need most is attention of their children, especially when they are sick.

As long as the woman have daughters, why can't they take care of the woman wey born them? She can only assist to by spending some time at her sister-in-law house and do her part. So if her Mama come sick na her sister-in-law dem to look after her?

Kobojunkie:
It is one thing to have your mother visit as a guest for a day or two, but having her over on a longstay or worse, because she is sick, then you need to be upfront and better negotiate her stay and care with your marriage partner.

Does the man and his wife have space for her during her stay? Will the man be responsible for his mother's care throughout her stay, or is this a ploy to bring in another human burden for his wife to have to deal with? Conversely, the man can easily send his mother to a care home or something where she would be better cared for.

Hmmmmm

Kobojunkie:
It is one thing to have your mother visit as a guest for a day or two, but having her over on a longstay or worse, because she is sick, then you need to be upfront and better negotiate her stay and care with your marriage partner.

Does the man and his wife have space for her during her stay? Will the man be responsible for his mother's care throughout her stay, or is this a ploy to bring in another human burden for his wife to have to deal with? Conversely, the man can easily send his mother to a care home or something where she would be better cared for.

I can see you in old people care home looking lost and lonely .
The future is closer, count your age and look into your mirror

Sonnobax15:

May we no marry werey as our partner,to spend the rest of our life with

Would she had refused if it was to be her own mother?

Na this kind of wife dey use attitude dey chase her husband family people from her husband simply because she sees them as a threat to their home

A woman who can't see and take her mother in-law to be like or even to be her own mother is a big red flag....

To think I once dated a girl who jokingly told me that she was happy my mom was late,cuz she wouldn't have loved to want a mother in-law,na from that day I realize say na agric fowl I dey date..

i for say u lie,but heard same from an olosho disguising as decent gal