₦airaland Forum

dododawa1:
your state please ?

Edo

Pharaoh4rin:
Which kain mumu talk be this? I bet you don't live in Lagos.

I can't live in Lagos even on free rent.

2mch:
90% of polygamous men cannot afford those wives. The women work harder than babymama to provide for those kids. Being a husband is not only about paying bride price. A lot of these touts on the road are children from polygamous home who did not have opportunity and the father did not have time. Some don’t even know who and who are their children. We see it everyday.

You see, very convenient for you to make assertion that louts are from polygamous families. I don't know how many polygamous families you know in your area that fit that description which made you to conclude like that. With confidence that 90% of polygamous men couldn't afford more than one wife.

Nobody is talking about the rising rate of divorce among Nigerian couples. And it’s not just about the country’s economy or social values, it’s about us, the people. Divorce is increasingly common among Nigerians, both at home and abroad, and this trend has had a negative impact on how the younger generation views marriage. As a result, we are seeing a rise in “baby mamas,” “sugar daddies,” and young, capable men who simply do not want to get married. The children are sadly just a byproduct of the choices being made today.

Osariemen12:
I can't live in Lagos even on free rent.

Whaaaaaaattttttt!!!!

maasoap:
You see, very convenient for you to make assertion that louts are from polygamous families. I don't know how many polygamous families you know in your area that fit that description which made you to conclude like that. With confidence that 90% of polygamous men couldn't afford more than one wife.

The guy was just spewing things that are not grounded in facts.

His method of knowing is to ''hit the street''.

Every thing is a silent epidemic to these bored writers. Corruption never makes the list, always pointless situations.

Fiscus105:
✓ This is as a result of not be able to reach compromise in marriage, and not until we go back to how it was.
Nobody wants to drop his "ego/likes/cherish" in other to accommodate his/her partner.
Go and check couples who have successful marriage, that span decades, they lower their ego/cherish in other to accommodate partner, before marriage flourished.

If success in marriage is merely defined by the length of time the couples in the marriage have stayed without a divorce, then a good number of the sugar daddies fueling this baby mama phenomenon can equally boast of doing it the old fashioned way. No be so? 🥱🥱🥱

Yes, many of them we know of have been married to the same woman for many decades, never minding the fact that the details of the marriage as well the quality of living and living for the wife in the marriage may be nothing to write home about. But I guess, the married should be deemed successful because the woman has allowed it endure-or maybe has been forced into doing so-- for as long as she did. 🥱🥱🥱

NNtv:
✓ Nigerians need to learn fast before we kill our family system like black Americans.
Baby mama is a serious cancer to the society. It destroys family values. It creates more poor and uncultured populace with drive towards crime.
Look at people or group with wealth today. You will see active family values and family wealth distribution. This wealth is not built on children that has no father or mother. It is built on ages of family progress.
Additionally, children from single mothers and single fathers have more tendency to commit crime. There's evidence to this in the United States where most black kids have no complete parents.
Let's stop baby mama/bane papa pandemic before it destroys our society!

Nigeria had a family system that should be kept? You mean the very same system that kept women as property of their husbands, children, particularly female children as subhuman who were only to be bred for property and wealth in the future to the highest bidder -- Nigeria's bride price system -- and also expected to take on the burden of fixing the mistakes of their progenitors, some before old age, all without a guarantee of comparable reward? 🥱🥱🥱

Wawuu...you folks never see the bad but always seem to have your heads in the dirty clouds up in your heads. 🤔🤔

Stolen:
✓ MARRIAGE IN BABYMAMA OUT.
Y SOME WOMEN OPT FOR BABYMAMA AND NOT MARRIAGE IS THE EXACT REASON WE ARE HAVING PATERNITY CRISIS.
THEY ARE MORE LUSTFUL THAN MEN.

But a lot of those you refer to as baby mamas became so as a result of marriage. Many of these women were once married but were abandoned by their spouses who also abandoned their kids leaving society to depict them as single mothers.

I recall the story of Julie or Julia, a lady who eventually married Yul Edochie. She was previously married before she was abandoned by her husband and divorced him back in 2013. She was depicted as a baby mama, not a divorced woman, in the media. There are numerous other examples of this too. The heavy cloud is the baby fathers always seem able to walk away unscathed, only to continue on to make more. Yet every now and then Nigerians are quick to blame their blindness on the baby mamas alone saying marriage is a solution. What nonsense is this not?

Manny21:
✓ This concept of baby mamas and daddies is a very novel concept that came with increasing moral decadence.
✓ What we were used to and condemned was unwanted pregnancy or out of wedlock pregnancy. Unfortunate and regretable

Increasing moral decadence, you say. Increased from when to when? How did you measure this?

When your forefathers were notoriously known for abandoning women in marriage along with the children produced by those women resulting in those women living life as single mothers, most for the rest of their lives, was moral decades on par then?

2. You talk about unwanted pregnancies but what about the men that created those pregnancies who later go on to marrying other women and pretending all was never unwell for them, while the women and children are abandoned and humiliated by the dubious in the communities. Why not insist on shared custody so both baby mama and baby daddy can be equally impacted by the making of those babies.

This article was written by ChatGPT. It's so easy to spot this nowadays. .

Yet someone will come and tell me that AI agents will replace humans soon when I can spot a chatgpt article in 3 seconds. Sorry but I can waste my time reading and commenting on a chatgpt article without human input.

Osariemen12:
Edo

we are family,I no talk again.

Kobojunkie:
If success in marriage is merely defined by the length of time the couples in the marriage have stayed without a divorce, then a good number of the sugar daddies fueling this baby mama phenomenon can equally boast of doing it the old fashioned way. No be so? 🥱🥱🥱

Yes, many of them we know of have been married to the same woman for many decades, never minding the fact that the details of the marriage as well the quality of living and living for the wife in the marriage may be nothing to write home about. But I guess, the married should be deemed successful because the woman has allowed it endure-or maybe has been forced into doing so-- for as long as she did. 🥱🥱🥱

Is it only woman endure it to make it last? Perhaps you don't understand the word compromise from both side, or you trying to proof a point with from weak defence.

Fiscus105:

➜Is it only woman endure it to make it last?
➜ Perhaps you don't understand the word compromise from both side, or you trying to proof a point with from weak defence.

1. A majority of the time, in the Nigerian situation, this is the case. The vast majority of Nigerian men would rather not officially divorce their spouses, still. This is the case for many Nigerian men, whether in Nigeria or outside of Nigeria. They would rather move on to the other woman while the abandoned partner remains stuck in marital limbo with the children. And in most cases, the abandoned spouse is typically the woman.

2. Compromise from both sides in the form of what exactly? What power does a woman who fears her husband and is abandoning her with children she cannot fend for have to lead, or at least ensure fairness in such situations? You and I are fully aware that when it comes to compromise, the lesser/weaker partner almost always loses out. So, where do you get that compromise is the way forward? Or maybe I should ask you to better explain yourself, as it seems you are just trying to sound smart by half.

Kaa4:
➜This societal abnormality is destroying marriage: the oldest institution for family procreation established by God. If the women allow it, it will continue.
➜A woman should not have children outside of wedlock
➜ Churches have work ot do. We should get back to the basics

. During the time of your ancestors, married women who were no longer desired by their husbands were frequently abandoned along with the children they produced and left to fend for themselves. These women were stripped of their former status and shamed. At the same time, their husbands were allowed to move on to marry the next set of victim women. And also create for themselves a near blemish-free record in marriage, as far as their choosing not to have any association whatsoever with teh abandoned for as long as they lived.

So, if marriage is known to have helped in creating the problem from as far back as the time of your ancestors, how can it be said that the problem is responsible for destroying marriage?

2. But a good number of the baby mamas you know are women who were abandoned at the altar — they were made pregnant by men/traditions which assured them that proof of pregnancy was necessary to seal the deal as far as marriage — or after marriage(their children were abandoned too). So, why do you insist of claiming all were pregnant out of wedlock?

3. In the last 50 years of your churches working in Nigeria, the rate of marriage abandonment, divorce, and # of babymama situations have experienced steady increase. Yet, here yiou are in 2025, insisting that the same churches which have woefully failed in over half a decade is the solution for the future?

At this point, I have to ask you if you are OK at all.

Offpoint1:
➜ The two genders are becoming intolerable to each other, so the Foundation of marriage can no longer hold.
➜The men can no longer control their natural instincts/settings and so is the women, so we are gradually going back to our nature settings... Or should I say we're evolving into a new phase of our naturally settings?
➜If you look into the wild, some animals are family oriented, while some aren't. Maybe we are evolving into the class of those animals... Maybe were in those class from onset and created religion to help fixed us into the other class.... WHO KNOWS?

1. Women no longer wish to settle for the substandard life of being having to give up on their dreams and goals in marriage. That is majorly at the core of the problem and until that problem is dealt with by way of laws that establish equality in society and in marriage for both men and women, things are just going to continue to get worse on the marriage scene for both men and women who enter into the union.

2. Given the freedoms that men have generally enjoyed in society for so long, this was bound to happen and is happening at a rate that other men can no longer endure, since they, too, are now being directly impacted. Hence the outcry.

3. So, basically, should humans begin adopting ways of animals?

Stolen:
➜MARRIAGE THEY HARD SOME WOMEN NOWADAYS. THEY START WITH YEAH I WANT TO GET MARRIED, AFTER 1 BABY THEY ARE PACKING THEIR BAG. THAT IS THE MODERN WOMAN FOR U.

A man can always choose to engage and marry women of his mother's mate or age — outdated/antiquated women— in marriage. Dem plenty for village... many of them never got around to being married sef. 🙄🙄

gift2xl:
➜Families has failed, decay society comes from decay home's.

Societal decay also comes from the continued adherence to poisonous traditions in marriage and in the family.

plankyjacky:
The rapid advancement of ICT and digital platforms has left this generation more confused about moral, societal, and cultural values.
Young people, in particular, often find themselves caught between traditional norms and the rapidly changing digital culture. Exposure to conflicting information online blurs the line between right and wrong. Societal values, once shaped by family and community, are now heavily influenced by online trends. Cultural identity, too, is at risk of being overshadowed by global digital lifestyles.
It's a new world .

You dey blame ICT and digital platforms, not your many traditions that defy common sense, going as far as to trample the rights of the individual, for the confusion of the young people? Na wa oo! 😏😏

NNtv:
➜not just the church, the government has create policies to preserve family because we are not ready to have a disjointed society that leads to rise in crime, which is always the outcome of children raised without parents.

The same traditions/churches that have been actively pushing their agenda for the past 50 years —crime rates, birth rates, marriage abandonment/divorce have all risen unabated during that period —are the same ones to solve the problem during that same period? The same government that did nearly nothing for the past 60-something years is the very same government you want society to continue to put its hope in, still?

What I have come to realize is that many of you are not really concerned about seeing real change to issues at all; you just like having a chance to spew any tripe you can all while being seen by the gullible in the crowd as attempting to proffer a solution, no matter how stewpid. That seems to be the point of your rants.

fabolouz1:
➜The society is just bankrupt. There are many fathers fathering children that are not theirs because of the wife's deceit.

But many of those children belong to other married men who are themselves fathering children that are not theirs.

LARRYOBRAIN:
Our sisters from southeast and north central are the frontiers.

This one chooses to deceive himself! 🙄

Kobojunkie:
The same traditions/churches that have been actively pushing their agenda for the past 50 years —crime rates, birth rates, marriage abandonment/divorce have all risen unabated during that period —are the same ones to solve the problem during that same period? The same government that did nearly nothing for the past 60-something years is the very same government you want society to continue to put its hope in, still?

What I have come to realize is that many of you are not really concerned about seeing real change to issues at all; you just like having a chance to spew any tripe you can all while being seen by the gullible in the crowd as attempting to proffer a solution, no matter how stewpid. That seems to be the point of your rants.

Nigerians listen and obey the government and religious bodies. It is still within the purview of the government and these religious institutions to sensitize the populace on the importance of family values.

That's my opinion and I stand on it. Now, you can go ahead and discuss your own "awesome" solution without mentioning me.

NNtv:
➜Nigerians listen and obey the government and religious bodies. It is still within the purview of the government and these religious institutions to sensitize the populace on the importance of family values.
➜That's my opinion and I stand on it. Now, you can go ahead and discuss your own "awesome" solution without mentioning me.

1. Oh, they do? 😏

So, it is safe for us to then conclude that the pertains of decadence recorded over the last 50 years has been a result of Nigerians listening and obeying their government and religious bodies. Right? Why then are you suggesting a continuation of the same? So the problems persist? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2. Opinion that basically insists on the status quo while pretending to be a solution to the status quo? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Kobojunkie:
. During the time of your ancestors, married women who were no longer desired by their husbands were frequently abandoned along with the children they produced and left to fend for themselves. These women were stripped of their former status and shamed. At the same time, their husbands were allowed to move on to marry the next set of victim women. And also create for themselves a near blemish-free record in marriage, as far as their choosing not to have any association whatsoever with teh abandoned for as long as they lived.

So, if marriage is known to have helped in creating the problem from as far back as the time of your ancestors, how can it be said that the problem is responsible for destroying marriage?

2. But a good number of the baby mamas you know are women who were abandoned at the altar — they were made pregnant by men/traditions which assured them that proof of pregnancy was necessary to seal the deal as far as marriage — or after marriage(their children were abandoned too). So, why do you insist of claiming all were pregnant out of wedlock?

3. In the last 50 years of your churches working in Nigeria, the rate of marriage abandonment, divorce, and # of babymama situations have experienced steady increase. Yet, here yiou are in 2025, insisting that the same churches which have woefully failed in over half a decade is the solution for the future?

At this point, I have to ask you if you are OK at all.

Super Ok, madam. That a few failed does not call for stereotyping all others. And those people are not your ancestors but mine only because you descended from heaven, direct from God. I agree.
NB: I don't often respond to mentions, but I made an exception for you, so you are blessed

Kaa4:
➜Super Ok, madam. That a few failed does not call for stereotyping all others. And those people are not your ancestors but mine only because you descended from heaven, direct from God. I agree.
➜NB: I don't often respond to mentions, but I made an exception for you, so you are blessed

1. I am not the one here pretending that my bloodline is descended from some place called heaven. You are, hence the reason why I had to point out that even your ancestors are implicated in the creation of the situation that exists today.

2. You can take your exception further by deleting your account entirely from Nairaland so your opinions can remain totally private then.

Kobojunkie:
1. Oh, they do? 😏

So, it is safe for us to then conclude that the pertains of decadence recorded over the last 50 years has been a result of Nigerians listening and obeying their government and religious bodies. Right? Why then are you suggesting a continuation of the same? So the problems persist? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2. Opinion that basically insists on the status quo while pretending to be a solution to the status quo? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I see you responding to all the comments sarcastically, I liken your mind. You not only have time to respond to all, but also have a response to each one. That shows a seriously fecund mind.

Would you mind if I offer you to come and study psychology/sociology in this area? I will assist in any way possible to ensure you successfully complete your programme.

Kaa4:
➜I see you responding to all the comments sarcastically, I liken your mind. You not only have time to respond to all, but also have a response to each one. That shows a seriously fecund mind.
Would you mind if I offer you to come and study psychology/sociology in this area? I will assist in any way possible to ensure you successfully complete your programme.

Study Psychology/sociology in lunacy? Nah! What most Nigerians need at this point is a mental health system advantage enough to address mental illness at the individual, community, ethnic, and societal levels, a result of the brainwashing from damaging traditional and religious delusions.

Your support can go towards funding your own therapy and that of your relatives first. And no, this isn't meant as a jab or an insult but a reality check.

Nigeria is nowhere near where it should be; this is because the minds of the majority have been thoroughly poisoned by traditional and religious delusions — contradictory ideas that border on trampling the lives and the rights of the individual and the weak to strengthen only the powerful bullies in society. We can't make sense of anything without dealing with these fundamental problems.

Fiscus105:
This is as a result of not be able to reach compromise in marriage, and not until we go back to how it was.

Nobody wants to drop his "ego/likes/cherish" in other to accommodate his/her partner.

Go and check couples who have successful marriage, that span decades, they lower their ego/cherish in other to accommodate partner, before marriage flourished.

You forgot poverty too. Talking about poor young girls dating very older men

ediko5:
She didn't write anything here. It's all AI generated

the guy just dey waste e time

Your worries

Kobojunkie:
This one chooses to deceive himself! 🙄