₦airaland Forum

CoolAmbience:
What sort of joy is that?

Keep doing that sha if you have such understanding with your spouse.

For me o, I can't rationalize that.

The kind of joy that'll make her love you more.

It's the little things, guys, the little things.
They make your woman happy, and keep her falling in love with you.

Treat your woman like a woman.
Don't force her to see things the way men do.
It's not that hard.

Mariangeles:
They don't know.
It's therapeutic.🤣🤣

f
Nnwannem eziokwu makachi....

Carry woman matter for your head, oyo

No reason anything jare, Just Pay the 4k with joy and let go, except she no request for it, e no go kee you!
Some Inconsequential things that give some women joy you don't have to think too much about it!

Kobojunkie:
1. Again, the OP says the money for her upkeep; it is not a gift but her share of the dividends of the marriage, which in a poor man's case is usually the salary the man makes while married to the woman.

2. The entitled mind here is the man thinking that the upkeep money he gives his wife is a gift and not actually what she deserves.

3. Again, the woman in a marriage is not a source of free labor to the man. She is a partner and hence entitled to a share of the dividends of the marriage, i.e., the man's salary. So, the 100k was not a gift, but money due her. She is also a human being and deserves to have her own money, her own savings, as she has her own dreams, etc. Her being a wife does not mean she should not get her share for all of her sweat. And that share is not a gift.

Chai, " Buy anything you like with it" means it was at the man's discretion not a pre-agreed allowance hence it was a gift.

Wait so marriage is a union where the man's salary is shared to the other party as dividends of the union. Wow! What happens to the woman's salary then where she was able to lend 4k from?
This is unbelievable

Gbadugbakun:
So you're now the victim on top of my money. Wonderful.

A debt has to be paid....simple,enough with the back n forth.
Lots of unsolicited mentions.

Firstcitizen:
➜Chai, " Buy anything you like with it" means it was at the man's discretion not a pre-agreed allowance hence it was a gift.
➜ Wait so marriage is a union where the man's salary is shared to the other party as dividends of the union.
➜ Wow! What happens to the woman's salary then where she was able to lend 4k from? This is unbelievable

1. Wrong!

➜ The money is listed as money meant for her upkeep, and it came from money earned by her husband from his salary during the marriage. It is hers, not a gift. A gift would maybe come from money that the man had before the marriage, which is typically kept separate account from the account from which marriage-related expenses should come.

Also, if my boss gives me my salary at the end of the week or month and adds that I should buy anything I like with it, it does not change anything of the fact that that money is what is due to me, does it?

2. Yes! Marriage has always been a business agreement between a man and a woman.

3. Aren't you assuming the woman had absolutely no savings at all when she came into the marriage?

Mariangeles:
The kind of joy that'll make her love you more.

It's the little things guys, the little things.
They make your woman happy and keep falling in love with you.

Treat your woman like a woman.
Don't force her to see things the way men do.
It's not that hard.

I hear you.
I have a different perspective, experience and understanding of love within the realm of our women.

Hubby owes you N4000 and dashes you N100,000, and to prove his love, abi your love for him, you demand the N4000 he owes, and he pays you.

Such wonderful love!

CoolAmbience:
➜I hear you. I have a different perspective, experience and understanding of love within the realm of our women. Hubby owes you N4000 and dashes you N100,000, and to prove his love, abi your love for him, you demand the N4000 he owes, and he pays you. Such wonderful love!

Where did hubby get this money wey im dash the wife from?

I swear,women are wired differently. I have experienced this before. I wanted to buy food for my gal. I asked to make transfer for the payment but they said they didn't accept transfer. Only cash or debit card. I didn't have ATM,the cash with me was only #5000,not up to 5.5k I needed. I asked her to borrow me 500,and she did. Could you imagine she kept reminding me of her 500 even after I gave her something worth much more than that. Since day I tire for their matter

I noticed that same people that are arguing here are the same people that watches Big brother house nigeria. The same mind set.

Hhh4444:
➜I swear,women are wired differently. I have experienced this before. I wanted to buy food for my gal. I asked to make transfer for the payment but they said they didn't accept transfer. Only cash or debit card. I didn't have ATM,the cash with me was only #5000,not up to 5.5k I needed. I asked her to borrow me 500,and she did. Could you imagine she kept reminding me of her 500 even after I gave her something worth much more than that. Since day I tire for their matter

. Why is your brain wired to think that if you give a person a gift, then that person should write off any loans you took, though? That is a problem!

She gave you Naira 500, and you had no idea how long or how hard she had to work to get that money; you concluded that since you can dole out Naira 5000, she should be able to give out Naira 500. Why? Don't force people to give up what they don't have to give. Let them decide on their own when to do that.

EmperorIsaac:
I don't even argue; I just pay and even apologize for forgetting because I know the total package (the woman herself and all she symbolises) is not cheap. I'm ready to pay for anything that involves them because I could choose to be single, but I didn't!

Kai!
there is still hope.
I thought my husband was the last Specie of Nigerian men that reason this way, the kind that know that marriage is not by force but got married by choice. The kind that understand the value of a WOMAN and intentionally VALUE her.

I keep saying it, marriage is not for everyone and some people really need to stay away from it.

There is no way this man here will claim that joy and peace is not finishing him in his marriage. There are some things you don't need to fight or argue over 'cause they are not worth it. In the end, almost the entire money would somehow find its way back to you and the children and if your wife glows, it's still to your credit. I just tire.

@ Poster, Your wife is a lucky woman, sure she cannot trade you for anything. She go hold you tight.

All the best Sir!

No need for grammar

withdraw N300k
Use 200k for foodstuff
Take your 4k
Bring 50k for me cash, I need it buy fuel into the cars
Keep 46k for yourself, buy any thing you want
Are alright now? any other questions?

Caaz:
That's why you re not my spouse, only odiegwu husbands act like you.you ve no idea the joys that comes with collecting the 4k.

odiegwu lol

Atarakpa:
odiegwu lol

Yes there re ODIEGWU HUSBANDS by their comments here you'll know them.
Nothing wrong asking for the money owned.

I have forgotten lots of money my husband borrowed from me,the few ones he paid back still went back into the home.

So i fall to see the fuss asking for the money owned.


You odiegwu men should quit quoting my comment.

You never see anything, u wan try female gender

Gbadugbakun:
So if I'm owing you 4k and I give you 100k you'll still expect me to pay you the 4k am owing you ba. Very well I will collect back my 100k and give you your 4k.

stainzvill:
You never see anything, u wan try female gender

This ain't about gender. This is literally about common sense. You are legally required to pay back loans, not pretend they are written off when you give what you pretend is a gift 🥱

I can imagine you all thinking that making a donation to an organization means money you may owe the same organization should be written off by that.

CoolAmbience:
I hear you.

I have a different perspective, experience and understanding of love within the realm of our women.

Hubby owes you N4000 and dashes you N100,000, and to prove his love, abi your love for him, you demand the N4000 he owes, and he pays you.

Such wonderful love!

Even better! 😍🥰

Not demand, by the way.
It's remind. 🙂

That man never learn. He should have told her to withdraw 96,000naira and take d 4,000naira he owed her as well 😁😁😁

I can't relate.

Kobojunkie:
You are giving 10 x that I don't deserve or 10 x that is rightfully mine to have, which one?

When your parents gave you upkeep/pocket money/allowance to use as you pleased each month, did you consider that money you did not deserve to have or money that was rightfully yours to have?

He is not her father for crying out loud. Your analogy is very flawed.

Mariangeles:
Even better! 😍🥰

Not demand, by the way.
It's remind. 🙂

You win.
I rest my case!
Lol.

Caaz:
Every monetary marital debt has to be paid,nature itself is in support.
So blame the deptor,not the collector.

if you think you are a wise woman with this kind of mentality.

Then I will give 50k for your up keep and pay you your 4k. This is why you mustn't follow through with all this motivational quotes in your marriage.

You let go of some and ask for some, it creates balance.

Caaz:
Stop spinning the narratives...the question here is....you dey owe abii you nor dey owe?


Maybe we should liken this same narrative with that girl that collected 40k from emmanuel,and failed to show up,prompting emmanuel to seek for legal redress
And she ending up paying 400k to emmanuel.

If you do this kind of thing to me I'll just tell you to remove your 4k only.

scrupulousblog:
➜He is not her father for crying out loud. Your analogy is very flawed.

It is flawed because you reason that a wife is a provider of free labor in a marriage— a slave— and therefore has no reason to share in the dividends of what is her own marriage— not entitled to a regular allowance/upkeep/pocket money, etc.—, abi? She does not deserve to receive a regular allowance from her husband's salary by virtue of her being the caretaker/house help/nanny/cook/personal assistant/laundry maid/bang maid/ etc., in the marriage?

Kobojunkie:
1. Na the women wey dey marry your kind I dey pity pass.

2. Why didn't the man simply remain by himself then and hire other people to take care of the other needs? I know that hiring a cook and a cleaner alone — legal routes now —would probably cost you more than that 100K and then some, in addition to you still paying for shelter, food, and other bills.

Pity yourself, my woman is very happy to work and not live life like a leech! Most men can cook baisc foods, a bachelor would only need a small apartment to survive, so all in all he's still going to save more money. Being a wife does not mean you shouldn't have goals or a career, imagine in 2025 still thinking you need an allowance from a man to survive.....SHAME!

abbey621:
➜Pity yourself, my woman is very happy to work and not live life like a leech!
➜ Most men can cook baisc foods, a bachelor would only need a small apartment to survive, so all in all he's still going to save more money. Being a wife does not mean you shouldn't have goals or a career,
➜ imagine in 2025 still thinking you need an allowance from a man to survive.....SHAME!

1. Tell her to come online, make we ask her directly, abeg!

2. Sure, it's OK, you could cook as a bachelor, but the point of my previous post was to get you to see that as a bachelor, the responsibility was on you to ensure those needs were met, and if you paid for those needs, the cost would not have been free even then. Now, if after marrying, you have conveniently offshored that labor— all those hours and efforts you had to put in to meet those needs— to your wife in marriage, are you wanting us to believe that she is a source of free labor? What else does she do for free in marriage?

3. I think the one who should be ashamed is the one using another man's child as a source of free labor in the name of marriage. If her own father gave her allowance even when she probably did occasional chores in the house as a child, why should her husband think she does not deserve an allowance as a wife with all she does in the home? Tufiakwa!

Gbadugbakun:
So if I'm owing you 4k and I give you 100k you'll still expect me to pay you the 4k am owing you ba. Very well I will collect back my 100k and give you your 4k.

you da mind the drunkard @caaz 😂