₦airaland Forum

2mch:
Are they giving the bridesmaids husband there? Why is the sister fighting to be in bridesmaid groups? Why is the man cancelling his marriage because of his sister. Who is she exactly in the marriage? Will she not marry and go her own way? Will her brother have any say in her own marriage? Why is she forcing herself on this union? This is a good move by the husband, saving the wife to be from unnecessary future problems.

They are obviously both very young. By the time the guy tey for house based on all my family members must have say, when he eventually rush into marriage him go beat everybody that try to insult his wife.

I wonder! Allowed herself be used for nonsense. My brother no fit try am with me sef.

Kobojunkie:
So, because him dey spend money, all of her own efforts in making certain the ceremony goes according to plan are valueless? 🥱🥱🥱

hahahahahahahaha

Her sister is supposed to be her new what? Hell No!!! If you want a long lasting marriage, keep it away from your family members because they'll always be biased towards you guys... Many marriages have ended because of family members, especially female family members, those ones are enemies of progress.

And which more serious things are you talking about?

jaxxy:
Well look at it this way, if she can say no to that regarding his family even after days of pleading she can say no to more serious things.

His sister is supposed to be her new bestie or atleast close friend cos they are family now rather than her making it an issue cos she has her chaperones.

tfelicityk:
This is madness...

This is why I like the traditional/court wedding system. It will save you of many stresses such as emotional, mental, physical and even trust issues.

Just a ceremony of few hours or a day thing depending on the show off from both ends.

Why is contract wedding always peaceful?

This is beyond the ceremony. We are talking of character. Even if you do court the character would come out in a way inside the marriage

JuanDeDios:
➜I don't buy it. Because I've witnessed a couple where the woman was unaccommodating. It was one of the things that eventually ended the marriage. No, this is for real, not from Google.

Saying she is unaccommodating is something entirely different from what is presented in the OP, which is that the man cancelled the wedding because the woman would not let his sister join her bridal train.

Kobojunkie:
Saying she is unaccommodating is something entirely different from what is presented in the OP, which is that the man cancelled the wedding because the woman would not let his sister join her bridal train.

Different? You mean you don't see that this lady is unaccommodating is what the man sees - which is the correct thing to see here?

People still dey marry?

Kobojunkie:
He cancelled the marriage because he could not get his own sister into the woman's bridal train? 😏

Anyways, red flag na red flag! They both dodged a bullet there and should count themselves lucky.

Women, please stop marrying controlling men. Your worth to these types of men comes down to whether they can control you or not. And the end is never good as your beings are reduced to near nothing by all of that control. Go ask your mothers and grandmothers for details on that.

I have a few question/view point cos I think your writeup in the last paragraph seem to be pro the bride. While I agree with what were earlier said

1. Marriage is suppose to be a safe space, there is a world where he will insist that his sister won't join and heaven won't come down but been a man starting a new home the person he is more inclined to reason and understand with him is his wife (bride), if not her who he can persuade her to make that sacrifice for him instead of him to deny his sister and it becomes a family thing, a family she's marrying into by the way.
Now there was a case of a lady getting married and her special need cousin who always calls her his wife and likes getting too close wants to come for her wedding. The family is begging her to allow him come cos if he's the only one not coming it will affect him and all that, she's like if he comes he will be trying to do all those stuff. It's a one time thing. Do it and get it over with, that's the last time that person will ever be able to decide anything or request for anything.
2. If it was captured right the groom requested. And she has the right to deny it but you speak of controlling man it's not adding up especially in the light of what I said earlier. There's a world where she's part of them and she's redundant and they sideline her, has she accepted the request yes but she has carried it out her way they will send her to get something while they do their thing and all.
3. You mentioned that if she asks the groom to allow his brother join his grooms men he won't. I want to believe you are a man if not then it's quite clear. I haven't seen a man in the world who would be that petty if there is he's not a man or should not get married. Guys no send o no be big deal

Anyways my submission

Samantha125:
Her sister is supposed to be her new what? Hell No!!! If you want a long lasting marriage, keep it away from your family members because they'll always be biased towards you guys... Many marriages have ended because of family members, especially female family members, those ones are enemies of progress.

And which more serious things are you talking about?

That's ur own distorted mentality. Many families are cool with their inlaws and some go on to be besties.

I'm not saying this should always br the case but when it happens it's usually the best outcome for the extended family dynamics.

The girl is a total red flag honestly your in-laws are same as your siblings... If you can't add your own sister and add your so called friends over you sister in-law is not reasonable because tomorrow now those friends of yours will move on and focus on their own family, even some of her friends will we'd without inviting her self... They will move on and focus on their life without you but a family member is always a family member.... Although I don't know why she down looked her sister in law shaa but I support the man for cancelling the wedding that lady is not ready for marriage she only agreed because maybe her age or to answer a married woman.

Samantha125:
When it comes to traditional white weddings, aren't bridesmaids supposed to be from the bride's side?

Some people just like doing white weddings without understanding their rules and regulations, and why end your wedding plans over a Western wedding ceremony when he could've opted for an African traditional wedding instead? Imagine a British man who doesn't understand anything about African weddings cancelling his African wedding because he's having disputes with his British wife over the ceremony...

It's bridal shower, friends and family members from both sides sometimes involved, for the wife to be showing stuff like this is a red flag, no sane man should tolerate that

Where in the post did it say anything about bridal shower? Trying to twist the story to suite your narrative?

Know the difference between a bridal shower and being a bridesmaid.

MrGerald:
It's bridal shower, friends and family members from both sides sometimes involved, for the wife to be showing stuff like this is a red flag, no sane man should tolerate that

Namaster:
A STUPID man for many reasons!

First, for getting married at all.
Second, for sponsoring the WHOLE wedding by himself.
Third, for ENDING a relationship on the verge of matrimonial conjoinment because the bride doesn't want to be best friends with his sister.

Finally, the LAST line of the screenshot is MANIPULATIVE.

If it were such a "trivial" matter, why did the man CANCEL the marriage.
The triviality is not exclusive to the woman.

Did you remember your.dad when typing typing this?

Kobojunkie:
He cancelled the marriage because he could not get his own sister into the woman's bridal train? 😏

Anyways, red flag na red flag! They both dodged a bullet there and should count themselves lucky.

Women, please stop marrying controlling men. Your worth to these types of men comes down to whether they can control you or not. And the end is never good as your beings are reduced to near nothing by all of that control. Go ask your mothers and grandmothers for details on that.

The way you people judge a case is worrisome

Baronthecelebri:
Nice 👍 one from the man, I support him

It's a red flag. This one will chase all his family members away from him

Samantha125:
Her sister is supposed to be her new what? Hell No!!! If you want a long lasting marriage, keep it away from your family members because they'll always be biased towards you guys... Many marriages have ended because of family members, especially female family members, those ones are enemies of progress.

And which more serious things are you talking about?

As in. The way they always drag their female family members into their families, you will think they love them so much. They just want drama. My brother tried it and I refused. Stay with your wife and leave me alone! I have my own bestie, I am not her bestie, please.

Adeebiwa09:
➜I have a few question/view point cos I think your writeup in the last paragraph seem to be pro the bride. While I agree with what were earlier said
Marriage is suppose to be a safe space, there is a world where he will insist that his sister won't join and heaven won't come down but been a man starting a new home the person he is more inclined to reason and understand with him is his wife (bride), if not her who he can persuade her to make that sacrifice for him instead of him to deny his sister and it becomes a family thing, a family she's marrying into by the way.
➜ Now there was a case of a lady getting married and her special need cousin who always calls her his wife and likes getting too close wants to come for her wedding. The family is begging her to allow him come cos if he's the only one not coming it will affect him and all that, she's like if he comes he will be trying to do all those stuff. It's a one time thing. Do it and get it over with, that's the last time that person will ever be able to decide anything or request for anything.
➜If it was captured right the groom requested. And she has the right to deny it but you speak of controlling man it's not adding up especially in the light of what I said earlier. There's a world where she's part of them and she's redundant and they sideline her, has she accepted the request yes but she has carried it out her way they will send her to get something while they do their thing and all.
➜You mentioned that if she asks the groom to allow his brother join his grooms men he won't. I want to believe you are a man if not then it's quite clear. I haven't seen a man in the world who would be that petty if there is he's not a man or should not get married. Guys no send o no be big deal Anyways my submission

1. If being a man means curbing the freedoms of your woman, then you are not a man but a control-obsessed individual. Some women are like that, too. Narcissistic traits are not unique to men.

2. Are you sheeting me right now? The woman was clearly uncomfortable with the boys clinging to her, but you lot said she should endure it for what purpose exactly? Why not get the boy professional mental therapy help instead?

Obviously, what you described was not a one-time thing, and who knows what else the boy could have done to that girl in all of that time. Yuck!

3. Do you know what a right means? If I have the right to say "No," but you reject my right or assert that my right is against you, it implies that what you want is control, the power to overrule my right. That is clearly a problem and a world she should do everything to avoid being dragged into!

4. Her right to say, "No," should not be impacted by whether he allows such or not; that is one of the reasons why I removed that second question I had asked, since a lot of people did not see the obvious here. He cancelled the wedding because she would not allow his sister into her bridal train, clearly indicating he wanted control over her right. A controlling man would, of course, not simply allow such concessions if the situation were reversed.

Kobojunkie:
Have a say or control her choices? 🥱🥱🥱🥱

Have a say.


Choice?

Out of many bridesmaids, she can't overlook just one Sister Abi?

Immediately the friendship with the in-laws goes south, the entire marriage will also go south.

jaxxy:
That's ur own distorted mentality. Many families are cool with their inlaws and some go on to be besties.

I'm not saying this should always br the case but when it happens it's usually the best outcome for the extended family dynamics.

Kobojunkie:
It is probably what you imagine your relatives and those around you also do that, so you quietly project it on others.

Women, please stop marrying controlling men. Your worth comes down to whether they can control you or not. And the end is never good as your beings are reduced to near nothing by all of that control. Go ask your mothers and grandmothers for details on that.

exactly. If you as a man have an obsessive desire to control another human being. No need to marry just go and buy a pet dog or horse.i no even know who swear for naija men with their obsession to control as if thry know everything but again if we see truth make we talk am the bride was very wrong.your groom say put his sister among your bridal train.wetin dey there. Everything is not an ego contest.you already know say them don swear for naija men to have ego even the ones wey no to get sense hav big egos bigger than their sense.hen you for let her join the bridal train and then she herself will feel sidelined and cannot relate because all the girls there are your own person and friend.by the time she feels ignored she go dey ask herself why she insisted to be on the bridal train. after all you don satisfy your grooms desire to be on the train.when them wan snap picture, exclude her,in activities where they are supposed to do girlie things exclude her even if she's wearing the same bridal dress.trust me na the girl go look stupid and she won't be able to complain without looking like an alaseju.if she complain her family will say shebi them don put you for bridal train why you still dey complain

Everything requires wisdom. No be everything you go dey use gra gra do.na the girl go look stupid and out of place

duduade:
Their cup of palavar.
Do what gives you peace on the long run

"in the long run"

jaxxy:
Well look at it this way, if she can say no to that regarding his family even after days of pleading she can say no to more serious things.

His sister is supposed to be her new bestie or atleast close friend cos they are family now rather than her making it an issue cos she has her chaperones.

Your sister no get friend/bestie before?
Wetin dey worry una sef?

Even I wouldn't want my own family members coming to stay with us, they can visit, but they mustn't stay for too long because I value peace and privacy more than anything.

pocohantas:
As in. The way they always drag their female family members into their families, you will think they love them so much. They just want drama. My brother tried it and I refused. Stay with your wife and leave me alone! I have my own bestie, I am not her bestie, please.

pocohantas:
Your sister no get friend before?
Wetin dey worry una sef?

lol na pickmesha she be

Brotherhood is proud of that man 👌👍👍

Ahmed0336:
This life no hard
Make the fiancee marry her bridesmaids while the guy marry him sister.

exactly. Abi o

dangotesmummy:
lol na pickmesha she be

Which one is his sister should be her new bestie and closest friend? Damn!

Samantha125:
Even I wouldn't want my own family members coming to stay with us, they can visit, but they mustn't stay for too long because I value peace and privacy more than anything.

I like visit and go. Even with my own family. I give people their space and expect same. My SIL doesn't owe me any special friendship or servitude.

pocohantas:
Your sister no get friend/bestie before?
Wetin dey worry una sef?

I wonder o. Which is bestie? Having a cordial relationship is necessary, but friendship is not mandatory.