₦airaland Forum

seanwilliam:
✓
One thing I know is, no man in his right sense will treat a GOOD wife like shit. I have never heard of it and I have never seen it.
All married women claim to be good wives though

Is the man described in the OP a good husband then while his wife is the bad wife?

Usual simping Naija thing
Rich Husband marrying a wive and having side chick...
She knew he has them but that car gifts got her ...

Then fly her to UK gbam Divorce the Baga but in naija would seat tight

Chilipepper:
My husband recently bought a brand-new car, and the whole family was excited. Not long after, he mentioned that he wanted to sell his previous one and upgrade to the latest version.

I didn't think much of it,until a friend called, saying she spotted his "old car" at ShopRite being driven by a woman. When she confirmed the plate number, my heart sank.

It was indeed my husband's car. She even sent me a picture, and the driver turned out to be his girlfriend. He gave her that car as a birthday present, while I, his wife, am struggling with two kids and no car to ease our daily movement. I feel crushed.

How am I supposed to deal with this kind of betrayal?

Everyone is commenting based on the woman's post, Who knows if the woman is a random woman that bought the car and then the wife and her Amebo friend saw it and believed it was the Husband Side Chick cos they saw the car with same plates

Check yourself woman
Every man action has a reason

Caaz:
Never underestimate the power of a good gidin. Understanding wife award of the year goes to this woman



Person wey she suppose don arrange with boys,collect that car go ngbuka market dismantle the car and sell ham as scrab.

Maybe you think every man is weak... if she tries that, she might end up on the street again.
A man with side chick will not hesitate to trow any woman out of this life.

yemmit90:
Whoever marry someone like you has already enter a big one chance. Your reasoning is dangerous, not only to you but to entire people who might be taking advise from you.

A good wife is never a liability but rather a long time asset. A good wife is a valuable treasure to her husband, a home builder and a guardian of peace.

Even if you must cheat on her, it must be the deepest secret you should hold close to your heart. No woman in your life should deserve more than her. Only a foolish man will gift a car to a side chick, while the mother of his children treak around with his blood.

Unfortunately, a significant proportion of our men think like that. Buying houses and cars for side chics rather than their wives who birthed children. There are many reasons spinsters would rather remain single or be side chics because they benefit a lot without investing proportionately.

The wife must be a pain in the ass

engrchykae:
The wife must be a pain in the ass

Abi! Submissive wives almost always get the short end of the stick while sidechicks gets the glory of the marriage...that seems the typical story, fah! I wonder why married women would not think to switch side in the end.

We first need to hear from your husband first before we can know what to say, the side chick might be the one supporting him why you might be the one giving him problem, men don't need to be told before they did the right thing

Namaster:
That is the difference between an ASSET and a LIABILITY.

A wife is a standing LONG-TERM LIABILITY by every measure. A wife is a constant DRAIN on your resources. Even a "good wife". You'll support her. You'll support her family. You'll entertain her. You'll "upgrade" her.

And the sex is NEVER guaranteed.
In fact, the more you do the above, the LOWER the frequency and quality of the sex.

Wives NEVER want to let their husband think they deserve sex because of ALL their husbands have done.

Meanwhile, the GF on the other hand needs LITTLE maintenance. And pleasure flows from her.

If a side chick dies on Friday, the man would take his family to the wedding ceremony of a third cousin without missing a beat.

By the following Friday, another Side Chick would have taken her place.

Plus, this woman phrased it as "suffering with 2 kids" like it's not the man that drives them around. She made it sound like the man NEVER takes them anywhere.

Finally, she didn't "think much of it" because the car is likely over 15 years old with more than 5 years on Nigerian road. It's OLD and DOWNTRODDEN.

In fact, I can GUARANTEE that the current market value of the car is LESS than what the man has spent on his wife this year.

This is the woman's husband.
Nothing anybody fit tell me!

Pupanchie:
We first need to hear from your husband first before we can know what to say, the side chick might be the one supporting him why you might be the one giving him problem, men don't need to be told before they did the right thing

viyon02:
Your husband is never a stupid man. Pay attention to what he has been complaining about in your character or action. May be you have been taking his warnings for granted thinking afterall you ara already married to him and he can't send you away just like that. My dear wife, you will lose big term. Just go back and pretend nothing happen, make him happy, start doing what will make him happy, you know those things he love you doing don't pretend you don't know, he must have complained times without number. See you at the other side of happy home.

Future impossible tense. Only 0.000001% of women will do this. That's why I love polygamy. The competition it offers is the ultimate motivation for women. That's why they hate it.

seanwilliam:
If you’re not happy in your marriage, you can divorce your husband. Go out there and find someone better after 2 pikin .



One thing I know is, no man in his right sense will treat a GOOD wife like shit. I have never heard of it and I have never seen it.
All married women claim to be good wives though

But that's the ish right there! Most of you are not in your right minds, so here we are.

Be his side chic and see the difference

One thing I hate most in a relationship is friends giving wife information about their husband, I assure you those friends don't have a happy home that's why they feel jealous of their friends in any good relationship. Why can't you ask your husband if he sold the car to that Lady before jumping into conclusion. You just want to kill yourselves from heart attack.

Shimbo96:
One thing I hate most in a relationship is friends giving wife information about their husband, I assure you those friends don't have a happy home that's why they feel jealous of their friends in any good relationship. Why can't you ask your husband if he sold the car to that Lady before jumping into conclusion. You just want to kill yourselves from heart attack.

The reason why a copule has to be interested in whether either the husband or wife is playing away game is sti. Especially AIDS

I work in medicine. The first HIV Patient I saw personally, the wife was a loyal woman, who never slept around or even paid attention to her husband's side chicks past and present. She focused on her family. And her reward was HIV from her husband.

I have had many women tell me to beg their husbands to stop sleeping around, because the man picks infection from the side chicks, and passes it to them. And STI No be joke. Sometimes it is easy to treat, other times it is a hard road. And then there is HIV. And yes, I have met men who got infected from their wives.

You can call women amebo, and even men paranoid.....but having seen people suffer, and even die from STI (HIV)....madam has a right to do amebo. Ya think say the side chick is only sleeping with the man? She has other customers and a boyfriend who she probably will 'marry'.

Size chicks ... Always gained alot of favour from married men....

While His original wife loves to suffer most.....


We men are bad joor....

Women self... Why can't you buy yourself a car?? And also how sure are you that she is your husband girlfriend?? What if she bought the car from your husband or something bought the car for her from your husband? When you were enjoying with your husband did you tell us Madam love your life and stop disturbing us with nonsense.... Things are hard and you're here posting nonsense.... And a man has the right to marry many wives....

TONYE001:
Whoever teaches you guys these things has defrauded you all.

Funny how many of you think you sound smart, but in reality, your lines of thought are distant from facts.

A wife a liability? Just how? Your positions on husband-wife matters are strongly suggestive of childhood faulty family settings since our parents are the first to introduce the concept of marriage to us.

Now, I won't just stop at attacking you and your likes; I'll make frank efforts to educate you:

1. No, a wife is in no way a liability. In fact, the ideal husband-wife relationship isn't a business transaction where one can be labelled an asset, and the other, a liability. Ideally, a marriage is a setting in which a husband and a wife come together to work up a project - the family project. Both parties contribute according to their abilities; ideally, there is no fixed law guiding this collaboration. No law should dictate if the husband should bring A and the wife, B. This is because the union is fluid-like, it does not assume any particular conformation. Where one party is unable to bring A, the other party easily compensates. Like this, both husband and wife support each other, and do a lot of sacrifices backstage.

2. The African tradition has plastered an annoying stereotype in our heads. The African man easily thinks that the husband is the sole provider. In fact, this is not just a thing of tradition or culture; it actually reeks of ego, unhealthy ego and pride. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY HOMES THAT ARE RUN BY WOMEN?? You just have no idea! In one Nigerian study, researchers noted that female breadwinning is becoming "increasingly common" in urban settings (Akanle and Nwaobiala, 2019). In another study that sampled Nigerian primary school teachers, results showed that in over 70% of families, females/wives are the breadwinners ((Nnubia, Ibeanu, and Okechukwu, 2020). The concept of female breadwinning would have been there decades before now if not for the skewed African culture many of our parents and grandparents practice(d) (this culture NEVER MADE SENSE; essentially, it is a STUPID idea to deprive women of education and empowerment, depriving women of their rights to steps that would have ensured their independence shows how insecure our forefathers were). Just imagine how the family structure has changed since females started achieving independence, especially financial independence. Now, because they now have money, wives support their families...and in multiple instances, they RUN/SPONSOR their families.

Let me explain more. Females are more motivated, more caring (biologically), and more ambitious than men (Tao, 2014; Wicht, Miyamoto, and Lechner, 2022; Naz, Shah, and Qayum, 2020). Even among Nigerian populations, the findings are similar (Ojule, 2024). With these attributes, females are likely to be more successful than males IF ALL THINGS ARE ALLOWED EQUAL. Imagine they were allowed access to financial independence long before now? If this were the case, many families would have been liberated from poverty long before the current generation. So, partly, it's the African culture that has made poverty strongly palpable across families today.

3. How can you call the woman that births your children a liability? Why did you not have those kids with the side chick? This is callous thinking and demonstrates a heightened level of irresponsibility. With this thinking, I should feel pity for any woman you end up with. Perhaps, intending spouses should be submitting their social media handles before marriage. With a post like this, I wonder if any woman would want to settle with you (that's if you aren't married already).

4. If you fall sick or run into difficult situations, who would stand by your side? The side chick? Mabel Okungbowa is a Nigerian wife who donated a kidney to her husband. Would a side chick do this? Who is present throughout the growth of the children? A side chick?

5. A more personal example. I went back to school roughly 2 years after getting married. At the time, I and my wife were concluding our master's-degree programmes. I was working, my wife was too, but not something rewarding, just something to keep her CV busy. I resigned from my work, went back to school for a third degree - MBBS. I was in medical school for 7 whole years. In these years, my wife was my strongest support system. If not for that lady, I wouldn't be a medical doctor today. She helped me realize my dream, and in so doing, she gave up some important moves that would have skyrocketed her career. My wife did a whole lot, a whooooooollllllleeee lot. Every single day of our 11 years of marriage so far, I make sure I let wifie know how grateful I am! In my family group chat, when discussing with my parents and siblings, I ensure I let them know all my wife does. I want my people to know about her sacrifices...just in case I pass on before her. And, thankfully, my family appreciates her! Is there a side chick in this whole world and in the heavens that would have done a millionth of what my wife did? Nope! How can anyone call a wife a liability?

6. Just like I had said, when it comes to husband-wife matters, many people think they sound smart, but in truth, their positions in the matter displays ignorance and poor parental orientation....like Gehgeh (or whatever he's called). Women are doing a lot on the family front. Many are sacrificing their lives just for the family to succeed. Many would have been professors, millionaires, heads of great corporations, international figures if not for the fact that they are wives and mothers......though I do not support this (I would create a thread about this one day).

Dear Nigerian women, dear wives and mothers, on behalf of the many grateful husbands of yours, I say THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO. We see your works, your sacrifices, your doings. Maybe we should be speaking out more so this horrible narrative about you won't be extended to the next generation.

NB: I'm guessing that many commenters on this thread are single young guys. This post is educative, and you all are the exact targets. You all may not accept it, but I'm grateful for those that will.

Links to References (in no particular order)

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0021909619880283?utm=

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13668803.2020.1797634

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/341758004_Gender_Differences_in_Motivation_And_Academic_Achievement_A_Study_Of_the_University_Students_of_KP_Pakistan

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0362331914000354

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/343576708_Are_Girls_More_Ambitious_Than_Boys_Vocational_Interests_Partly_Explain_Gender_Differences_in_Occupational_Aspirations

https://www.tnhjph.com/index.php/tnhj/article/view/817#:~:text=Females%20are%20more%20motivated%20to,affiliation%2C%20and%20enjoyment%20than%20males.

Thanks a million times for your brilliant insights, this is about one the most heartwarming post I have read so far on nairaland, it was a terrific write-up and kudos to you bro and may the Almighty Allah SWT accept your prayers on your amazing wife and your children

Chilipepper:
My husband recently bought a brand-new car, and the whole family was excited. Not long after, he mentioned that he wanted to sell his previous one and upgrade to the latest version.

I didn't think much of it,until a friend called, saying she spotted his "old car" at ShopRite being driven by a woman. When she confirmed the plate number, my heart sank.

It was indeed my husband's car. She even sent me a picture, and the driver turned out to be his girlfriend. He gave her that car as a birthday present, while I, his wife, am struggling with two kids and no car to ease our daily movement. I feel crushed.

How am I supposed to deal with this kind of betrayal?

Every one is dropping their opinions about what the man did but have you asked yourselves why a man will leave his wife and buy a car for a woman outside? There’s something wrong somewhere

Kobojunkie:
I am shocked you still regard him as your husband, assuming this tale is real in her case. 🙄🙄

Clearly, you are the wife material/good wife/submissive wife your husband settled for to build a home for his sake, while his side-chick is the woman of his dreams, whom he maintains and builds up.

Your comment has a lot of assumptions. You could have asked before concluding that she's submissive, whether the husband doesn't support her financially and otherwise. Most times it's the wives who send thier husbands away to the GF with Thier coconut heads

Gerrard59:
Unfortunately, a significant proportion of our men think like that. Buying houses and cars for side chics rather than their wives who birthed children. There are many reasons spinsters would rather remain single or be side chics because they benefit a lot without investing proportionately.

Are you married? If not then you are not speaking out of experience. Most men buy cars for thier wives. And let me give you reasons why some cheating men buy/rent houses for thier GFs. It's because they would have the privacy of visiting these girls at anytime. And one thing is certain, he'll have sex whenever he comes. She'll never deny him. Not even once.

Personally, I think any African rich man who wants to marry more than one wife is free to do so. Instead of hiding everyday with different girls all around. Since he's got the resources to make them happy. No wahala

Kobojunkie:
I am shocked you still regard him as your husband, assuming this tale is real in her case. 🙄🙄

Clearly, you are the wife material/good wife/submissive wife your husband settled for to build a home for his sake, while his side-chick is the woman of his dreams, whom he maintains and builds up.

Hahaha. I was just looking for you on the thread and then you came with a banger. Very consistent!

Samantha125:
Some women are just too nice and innocent... If it was me, I'd neither confront the husband, the side chick, or post it online... But I'd instead sit down and play a game of chess and by the time I say checkmate, I'd make sure that he's getting admitted into psychiatric hospital while I play the role of a concerned wife... He'd think his village people are after him...

Just pray! Or God already blessed you with a great husband. Otherwise you had wonder how this happen to be your lot. It can happen to anyone!

Samantha125:
Some women are just too nice and innocent... If it was me, I'd neither confront the husband, the side chick, or post it online... But I'd instead sit down and play a game of chess and by the time I say checkmate, I'd make sure that he's getting admitted into psychiatric hospital while I play the role of a concerned wife... He'd think his village people are after him...

Samantha!!! Samantha!!! Samantha!!! I can see you love the chess game

TONYE001:
Whoever teaches you guys these things has defrauded you all.

Funny how many of you think you sound smart, but in reality, your lines of thought are distant from facts.

A wife a liability? Just how? Your positions on husband-wife matters are strongly suggestive of childhood faulty family settings since our parents are the first to introduce the concept of marriage to us.

Now, I won't just stop at attacking you and your likes; I'll make frank efforts to educate you:

1. No, a wife is in no way a liability. In fact, the ideal husband-wife relationship isn't a business transaction where one can be labelled an asset, and the other, a liability. Ideally, a marriage is a setting in which a husband and a wife come together to work up a project - the family project. Both parties contribute according to their abilities; ideally, there is no fixed law guiding this collaboration. No law should dictate if the husband should bring A and the wife, B. This is because the union is fluid-like, it does not assume any particular conformation. Where one party is unable to bring A, the other party easily compensates. Like this, both husband and wife support each other, and do a lot of sacrifices backstage.

2. The African tradition has plastered an annoying stereotype in our heads. The African man easily thinks that the husband is the sole provider. In fact, this is not just a thing of tradition or culture; it actually reeks of ego, unhealthy ego and pride. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY HOMES THAT ARE RUN BY WOMEN?? You just have no idea! In one Nigerian study, researchers noted that female breadwinning is becoming "increasingly common" in urban settings (Akanle and Nwaobiala, 2019). In another study that sampled Nigerian primary school teachers, results showed that in over 70% of families, females/wives are the breadwinners ((Nnubia, Ibeanu, and Okechukwu, 2020). The concept of female breadwinning would have been there decades before now if not for the skewed African culture many of our parents and grandparents practice(d) (this culture NEVER MADE SENSE; essentially, it is a STUPID idea to deprive women of education and empowerment, depriving women of their rights to steps that would have ensured their independence shows how insecure our forefathers were). Just imagine how the family structure has changed since females started achieving independence, especially financial independence. Now, because they now have money, wives support their families...and in multiple instances, they RUN/SPONSOR their families.

Let me explain more. Females are more motivated, more caring (biologically), and more ambitious than men (Tao, 2014; Wicht, Miyamoto, and Lechner, 2022; Naz, Shah, and Qayum, 2020). Even among Nigerian populations, the findings are similar (Ojule, 2024). With these attributes, females are likely to be more successful than males IF ALL THINGS ARE ALLOWED EQUAL. Imagine they were allowed access to financial independence long before now? If this were the case, many families would have been liberated from poverty long before the current generation. So, partly, it's the African culture that has made poverty strongly palpable across families today.

3. How can you call the woman that births your children a liability? Why did you not have those kids with the side chick? This is callous thinking and demonstrates a heightened level of irresponsibility. With this thinking, I should feel pity for any woman you end up with. Perhaps, intending spouses should be submitting their social media handles before marriage. With a post like this, I wonder if any woman would want to settle with you (that's if you aren't married already).

4. If you fall sick or run into difficult situations, who would stand by your side? The side chick? Mabel Okungbowa is a Nigerian wife who donated a kidney to her husband. Would a side chick do this? Who is present throughout the growth of the children? A side chick?

5. A more personal example. I went back to school roughly 2 years after getting married. At the time, I and my wife were concluding our master's-degree programmes. I was working, my wife was too, but not something rewarding, just something to keep her CV busy. I resigned from my work, went back to school for a third degree - MBBS. I was in medical school for 7 whole years. In these years, my wife was my strongest support system. If not for that lady, I wouldn't be a medical doctor today. She helped me realize my dream, and in so doing, she gave up some important moves that would have skyrocketed her career. My wife did a whole lot, a whooooooollllllleeee lot. Every single day of our 11 years of marriage so far, I make sure I let wifie know how grateful I am! In my family group chat, when discussing with my parents and siblings, I ensure I let them know all my wife does. I want my people to know about her sacrifices...just in case I pass on before her. And, thankfully, my family appreciates her! Is there a side chick in this whole world and in the heavens that would have done a millionth of what my wife did? Nope! How can anyone call a wife a liability?

6. Just like I had said, when it comes to husband-wife matters, many people think they sound smart, but in truth, their positions in the matter displays ignorance and poor parental orientation....like Gehgeh (or whatever he's called). Women are doing a lot on the family front. Many are sacrificing their lives just for the family to succeed. Many would have been professors, millionaires, heads of great corporations, international figures if not for the fact that they are wives and mothers......though I do not support this (I would create a thread about this one day).

Dear Nigerian women, dear wives and mothers, on behalf of the many grateful husbands of yours, I say THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO. We see your works, your sacrifices, your doings. Maybe we should be speaking out more so this horrible narrative about you won't be extended to the next generation.

NB: I'm guessing that many commenters on this thread are single young guys. This post is educative, and you all are the exact targets. You all may not accept it, but I'm grateful for those that will.

Links to References (in no particular order)

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0021909619880283?utm=

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13668803.2020.1797634

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/341758004_Gender_Differences_in_Motivation_And_Academic_Achievement_A_Study_Of_the_University_Students_of_KP_Pakistan

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0362331914000354

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/343576708_Are_Girls_More_Ambitious_Than_Boys_Vocational_Interests_Partly_Explain_Gender_Differences_in_Occupational_Aspirations

https://www.tnhjph.com/index.php/tnhj/article/view/817#:~:text=Females%20are%20more%20motivated%20to,affiliation%2C%20and%20enjoyment%20than%20males.

All I can say to you is.... God bless you sir 🙏

viyon02:
Your husband is never a stupid man. Pay attention to what he has been complaining about in your character or action. May be you have been taking his warnings for granted thinking afterall you ara already married to him and he can't send you away just like that. My dear wife, you will lose big term. Just go back and pretend nothing happen, make him happy, start doing what will make him happy, you know those things he love you doing don't pretend you don't know, he must have complained times without number. See you at the other side of happy home.

You're right my brother. I had issues with my wife in 2023 and she left my house. During the time of the problem, I met and proposed to another Lady who accepted my proposal, she knew I am married with kids. The problem with my wife is that she's rubbing shoulders with me and never respects me as if she's the one that married me into the house. We later reconciled last year and sometime this year, she came pleading that the devil want to send her out of her matrimonial home, and she promised to be of good behavior which she later changed. I relocated the other lady I proposed to though she's a single mother of one now what made me to send my wife parking is what she has begin to adjust to rapidly. The woman need to check on herself and know what her husband has been complaining about. As for The other lady, I rent an apartment for her and will settle her as soon as possible

Samantha125:
Some women are just too nice and innocent... If it was me, I'd neither confront the husband, the side chick, or post it online... But I'd instead sit down and play a game of chess and by the time I say checkmate, I'd make sure that he's getting admitted into psychiatric hospital while I play the role of a concerned wife... He'd think his village people are after him...

wicked woman

Then what are you doing telling us! You should confront him immediately since you have your evidence. Let him explain! But don't do it fighting just ask him confidential and calmly I assure you he will be embarrassed and probably give you the new car to quench the situation. If he reacts furiously and Try to dismiss the claims , toh I m sorry to say your marriage may not last long

Kobojunkie:
You clearly hate these submissive women for you to give such advice to this one whose husband literally flaunts his disloyalty towards her! 😶😶😶😶

How did you just conclude a woman is submissive just because of what she wrote?

Some of you cannot even become a good marriage councillor. No sane man will abandoned his submissive wife for a girlfriend.

What relationship is BTW you and my friend, that will make my friend to call you [my wife] and tell you he sees my car with someone?

She is not even surprised about the girlfriend.... meaning she is aware her husband has one.

If I am having my 90% peace in my marriage why will I have sidechick.

If the husband give her the car can she maintain it?

Mr man ,you must be an angel. Where are you from because you're spitting facts and wisdom. You have spoken the mind of 99% of men . I will snap this your response and frame it on my room 😂 😆

Namaster:
That is the difference between an ASSET and a LIABILITY.

A wife is a standing LONG-TERM LIABILITY by every measure. A wife is a constant DRAIN on your resources. Even a "good wife". You'll support her. You'll support her family. You'll entertain her. You'll "upgrade" her.

And the sex is NEVER guaranteed.
In fact, the more you do the above, the LOWER the frequency and quality of the sex.

Wives NEVER want to let their husband think they deserve sex because of ALL their husbands have done.

Meanwhile, the GF on the other hand needs LITTLE maintenance. And pleasure flows from her.

If a side chick dies on Friday, the man would take his family to the wedding ceremony of a third cousin without missing a beat.

By the following Friday, another Side Chick would have taken her place.

Plus, this woman phrased it as "suffering with 2 kids" like it's not the man that drives them around. She made it sound like the man NEVER takes them anywhere.

Finally, she didn't "think much of it" because the car is likely over 15 years old with more than 5 years on Nigerian road. It's OLD and DOWNTRODDEN.

In fact, I can GUARANTEE that the current market value of the car is LESS than what the man has spent on his wife this year.