₦airaland Forum

pocohantas:
1) You confirmed there is no single element in 30mins of your visit from a child who was even hiding. I bet if you stay one month, you will tell us more about her n●ked body.

2) A child is considered completely different because he looks like his mother. As in, his biological mother.

3) Take some time to tell us what the child who looks like the man, shares in common with his mum.

4) Please save your breath. You will need it to explain to your friend. Hopefully it won't be your last...

You spoke well, reason I'm still contemplating my next move.

Normally I don't usually get involved in such issues but this one strikes differently.


There are some things online texts or words can't explain, but I know what I observed. It would be wrong to jump into conclusion, but what if he's not the real father? Won't it be better he finds out this early than in his late 70's and 80's?


If he secretly caries out the test and it turns out he's the real father he would smile and pretend nothing happened and go on with his family.

It's not I want to ask him to chase his wife away, just to clear all doubts.

descarado:
Are you this idle?
If you are idle, carry rake, broom and sweep your street to keep your mind and hands busy.
Thank you in advance

You think I have time for online arguments?


Just pray a situation where you would need someone to tell you the bitter truth doesn't arrive.

Life is mysterious you know, yours might not even be DNA.

Mariangeles:
This one has carried his nairaland home-wrecking spirit into someone's home.

A man let you into his home, and this is what you do? You start monitoring his home?
The man does not have eyes to see whatever it is you saw, abi?

You see, this is one reason past people should be left in the past.
And one should be careful who they open the doors of their home to.

There are some things you see that won't get off your mind. Many that got the news too late probably had a friend or two who didn't want to wreck their marriage. It might not be DNA, it could have been the wife engaging in extramarital affairs and in order not to spoil their friends marriage they kept mum.

Just pray your friend doesn't keep shut when they need to speak to save you from potential calamity.


This is more than 'pokenosing' like you think

Bodydiialect57:
Why are you deliberately cooking up issues where there might be none? Is it a crime for a child to have a semblance with his mum?

Yes, it's a crime

Who is the dad?

Why not a single iota of resemblance in any form?


Women in the past would be praying for their kids to look like their dad, here you are speaking sheet

dominique:
How do you expect a child that looks 99% like the mother to also look like his dad? Do the couple look like they're siblings or related in any way?

I'm only concerned for my friend.

There's high possibility I could be wrong, but if things turn out ugly then he found out on time.


Haven't you read of men training other men's seeds for 30,40 years only to find out in old age that they aren't his?

I never mentioned DNA for the others, just this first son.

Benlight:
If you are married and have kids, go run DNA test for your own kids first then tell him you just did and talk about the advantages on your own side and to other men.
If he has ears, he will hear.

Nice suggestions here. Similar strategy to gifting someone with month oduooor toothpaste or toobrush, or someone with body odooor with perfume.

They'll get the memo in a respectful way.


Unfortunately I'm not married yet, I would have used this strategy.

Talkisneeded:
Man with brain,but there’s nothing Better than Minding your business sha…
Soon or later he will find out the truth

Minding one's business is good, but if all of us are minding our business what are friends for?


I've seen daughters that looks exactly like their mom, even sons, but there's always one or two things they take from their dad.

If he finds out the truth later, I hope it's confirmed that he's the dad. If not my conscience would forever trip me.

Minding one's business can be hard here sha

Brandiebird:
Trust me it’s not your conscience that’s troubling you but the devil’

You better respect yourself so that others can respect you back!

I never thought of this when I saw the second son, or even this newborn.l, and I'm not asking for test on all, just the first son.

Just hope you don't encounter a situation where someone would have the option to help or mind his business.

It feels like betrayal if it's your friend, you know.

lilyheaven:
To avoid embarrassment as you said, you can secretly carry out DNA test to satisfy your curiosity.
Then go ahead to prove it to the man, that his first son is not his.

Meanwhile many first sons always take after their mother, including character.

How can I secretly do it, tips please.

Yes, first issues can look like their mom, but you would notice one or two traits from the dad.

sisisioge:


Nairaland and local champions! OP went to school but never learned anything related to biology. Them suppose lock you for one room dey study your brain as a special deviant from normal evolution

Same thing others said until they learnt the hard way.

Just pray you don't encounter such.

I don't wish it for you or your brother sha.

Day169:
Well like the first responder to your story adviced, mind your business and face your front .
Like they say, what you don't know wouldn't hurt you. I can imagine the chaos if every man only knew the full story about their ancestry.

They whole world is duuuuccked up sha.

But that doesn't mean one should be accepting other men's seeds because of distortion of lineage.

I heard that when one visits babalawo or so they don't usually asks for the dads name but moms name so that the charm or whatever would work.

ruggedtimi:
E be like you no want dey eat that free food again wen ever you visit. Mind your business especially for the fact he is only a friend.
This is a delicate issue that could tear the family apart, and you might be held responsible.

If not for courtesy watin for carry me go there. If he does it secretly without involving the wife the family won't tear na.

Highest I would lose a friend while he bonds with his wife more than before.

Or....

Baronthecelebri:
One thing I don't like is somebody see something is wrong with his friend and keep quiet, and is excuse is he don't want to be the bad guy, you're the bad guy for not doing something.

That's it o.

What are friends for?

Nonexisting1:
Brother, I know you want to help a fellow brother but sometimes, the best way way to help a thirsty person is to allow him need water by himself and he will when the thirst becomes unbearable for him. Just like your instincts gives you hints, his own is also doing the same but he doesn't know how to balance his emotions yet. Don't mind those telling you otherwise, a child borrows traits from both parents no matter how little. If that woman's ex shows up now, that's when you will know that the child does not resemble only his mother in entirety, that he also got some traits from someone else. We have normalized paternity fraud so much in this country that the abnormal has become the normal even when biology says otherwise. For now, let the sleeping dog lie until daybreak.

My brother, you know what's up!!!

The thing is I don't know the wife if not I could have checked her exes.

If I even want to be sure before hinting my friend I would take a background search for her exes to see, but who get that kind time.

The easiest way is DNA straight up.

As it is now if he says he wants to do DNA for his second child I would just laugh and even place a bet that the boy is his because of the the character and physical resemblance.

Only me know watin I observe wey dey trouble me like this.

Me wey no like dey put mouth for relationship matter at all.

Carazon:
You believed that he can easily afford the money because you are his account officer.
Many of my friends also believed that I can easily dash them 500k or there about

As for telling his wife, the chances is above 80% so as I said before mind your business

That's it o.

Once he tells his wife everything don cast o

yvesboss:
Oga

Can you please avoid the family for a long while so you don’t bring this your energy to your friend? Really it isn’t your business if you think about it

Like I stated we haven't seen for ages, and I only went to his state for some business stuff.

I understand your point and I'm strongly considering it. I would be avoiding them sha, because finding a peaceful home this days is hard and wouldn't want to be the devil.


Though I'll still look for a way to indirectly convince him for a DNA test.

pocohantas:
This is one of those stories that never happened. He just created it for validation from his ilk. I was thinking the moniker looks familiar and I have confirmed.

Pocololo, time I'll use to create fiction on nairaland that doesn't pay, I would rather use it create more books on KDP.

If you check well winter is coming and this is when books sell well on KDP.

Even YouTube is there to cash out, so why waste my time creating fiction on site that doesn't pay me shishi.

Starboytwo:
Urm, the 2nd son who looks %99 like the father and nothing like the mother, shoukdnt there be some kind of DNA to really determine if the mother is the authentic mother 🤷

Thinking out loud.

Listen to yourself again.

Read it slowly.

Caaz:
Not every person we should welcomed into our homes,this one is trying to cause chaos in that family.So the first child sharing resemblance with the man's wife is now termed**omo ale++


This here is the reason why i always vet and filter all my husband friends,,i noticed any nonsense alacrity,i'd everything within my power to put an end to such association.

Ahnie I no wan argue Sha, if caging your husband gives you peaceful marriage, I wish you the best.

sisisioge:


Nairaland and local champions! OP went to school but never learned anything related to biology. Them suppose lock you for one room dey study your brain as a special deviant from normal evolution

That is witchcraft.....he's trying to destroy this beautiful peaceful family....my boys look like me,my mannerism,the way i navigate some things,with a lil resemblance to their Dad,whilst my daughter shares super resemblance with my husband, the way she walks,talks,temperament, infact i dont see much of my traits on her.


So does that mean,because she looks like her Dad,than me,i m not the mum that birthed her?


So na this kind op go come my house dey observe our Kids,come dey put idea for my husband head....nna eeh,ndi mmadu sef,ike gwurum.

My dear....its best the family cut ties with this entity.


Tufiakwu chineke ju ihe ojo....osino the wife bu ndi ne'me tiktok.
Ota po

lovediehatelive:
Yes, it's a crime

Who is the dad?

Why not a single iota of resemblance in any form?


Women in the past would be praying for their kids to look like their dad, here you are speaking sheet

Go ahead then and encourage your friend to go for a DNA test so that you will at least rest and be at peace..

Just prepare yourself for the consequences either way

The man sees whatever it is you saw, believe that.

You see married people ehn, leave them to sort their issues.
Even if they come to you with loads of complaints, just listen and keep nodding your head. Don't say pim.
Whenever they're ready, they by themselves will do whatever is needful.
Not tomorrow now, they will say you're the one who ruined their marriage.

Sometimes ehn, some of them are just looking for who to tell them the obvious, so that can have someone to blame later.
Leave them.

lovediehatelive:
There are some things you see that won't get off your mind. Many that got the news too late probably had a friend or two who didn't want to wreck their marriage. It might not be DNA, it could have been the wife engaging in extramarital affairs and in order not to spoil their friends marriage they kept mum.

Just pray your friend doesn't keep shut when they need to speak to save you from potential calamity.


This is more than 'pokenosing' like you think

OP, mind your business. Don't go and plant seeds of destruction in a family and walk away.

Don't let devil use you (dis one you don dey dream ), because maybe the man is having issues in his marriage that you don't know about and your wild accusations will give him the excuse he needs to leave his wife. He won't even do the DNA test, he will scream "even my friend noticed it!" And run off to the banny that's entering his eye.

(He won't be the first man to do this).

If I am that man's wife, I will make sure I go to Facebook and tag you and say you came to tell my husband to accuse me of cheating and paternity fraud and I will personally post the results of the DNA test there.

Let the whole world know what kind of person you are.

lovediehatelive:
Like I stated we haven't seen for ages, and I only went to his state for some business stuff.

I understand your point and I'm strongly considering it. I would be avoiding them sha, because finding a peaceful home this days is hard and wouldn't want to be the devil.


Though I'll still look for a way to indirectly convince him for a DNA test.

If the DNA comes back positive, how do you intend for the wife to view you going forward? Someone that must have taken care of you when you were around?


Or you think the husband wouldn’t tell her that it was your idea just to save his face?

Think am o bro. Let the sleeping dog be

How about you getting married and having your family so you can have something worthy to devote your life to me?

lovediehatelive:
We had this yellow pawpaw Secondary school course mate, so reserved and cool, the type that doesn't do social media.


Now, After secondary school they relocated to another state and we due to one thing or the other, we lost contact. Back then no smartphones like today, so we couldn't connect.



About 5 years ago I heard he's getting married and thankfully got his contact and we reconnected, but weren't getting in touch like back then in secondary school (Responsibilities choke).


Fast-forward to early this year I visited his state for some kind of outside work and would frequently visit him and stay a bit with his family.


At that time his wife was heavily pregnant and would soon put to bed for his 3rd child.

But something seems off. When I first visited Thier home, his second child a little boy of about 2 years old was the first I noticed and he was exactly carbon copy of his dad that I immediately called him Junior.


But the first one was inside and reluctantly came out. When he finally did I thought he was a sisters son or so because he looked completely like the mom, dark in complexion like her and similar facial features, but no single resemblance with the dad, fair in complexion.

I quickly shrugged it off, saying this one looks like his mom o, he should've been born a female, and we all laughed.


After my stay in the town I went back to base and we kept in touch.

Not so long after that I later got to know through WhatsApp chat that his wife has put to bed, and I congratulated them.


Now this August that just ended I visited the state again and used that opportunity to visit him.

Just few months since my last visit but the kids have grown quickly like it's been ages.

The second son now looked more like the dad, but the first one still no sign, face, voice, hair, character or anything.

No similar point to hold that this is how he takes after the dad.


Now I wouldn't conclude, because it would be a serious allegation without evidence.

The new one they just gave birth to looks like the dad even though he's not up to 6 months up (maybe?)


What struck me was that his mom was with them and when that first one did something wrong she scolded him and said something like look at you, you don't behave like your dad at all. She was seriously comparing him to the younger one that was all like his dad from looks to behaviors.


Now I've been brushing aside all the DNA test drama online, feeling that they want to create content or market their products, but this guy's case is troubling me.

Should I tell him to make investigations about her exes or he should do DNA test to find out now that he's still young?


My conscience is troubling me because I can't just keep shut.

I even had a dream where he was pleading to me to help, but I was unsure how to.

I've been hearing that when children are little, like when they just give birth to them they might not be looking like the dad, until they start growing.

But this guy's case is different. The second son looks like the dad in behaviors and facially, hair line and all, and the third one now too, except for the first.


I'm troubled, I don't want to be the bad guy that ends their marriage or put asunder, but still yet my conscience would not let me rest pushing me to save his lineage.

And let's I forgot, he's the second son of his parents, the first one hasn't married yet and it seems he's not interested as he is in his mid forties.

And the wife is all these TikTok type of girls, a bit flashy that you won't immediately know she's married when you first come across her.

How do I tell him my concerns without coming off as rude or intrusive or trouble starter?

What if he does the test and the boy turns out his, how would I face him?