₦airaland Forum

I am just tired and heartbroken. For me to have access to my wife for sex is so difficult. I work hard to ensure the family is fine and even try to do some chores in the house as I am able to.

Right now I am trying to configure my mind to forget about sex, just continue to serve God and remain a decent man. I am good looking so it's not a case of my being unattractive. There are many beautiful women I relate with that are willing to be in bed with me but I am a Christian. I am so frustrated now.

It's either my wife is pressing phone till forever, or she has one night prayer, or she is tired and wants to sleep.

Married men, how do you handle this situation?

SuperPanther:
➜I am just tired and heartbroken. For me to have access to my wife for sex is so difficult. I work hard to ensure the family is fine and even try to do some chores in the house as I am able to. Right now I am trying to configure my mind to forget about sex, just continue to serve God and remain a decent man. I am good looking so it's not a case of my being unattractive. There are many beautiful women I relate with that are willing to be in bed with me but I am a Christian. I am so frustrated now. It's either my wife is pressing phone till forever, or she has one night prayer, or she is tired and wants to sleep. Married men, how do you handle this situation?

Get a divorce and go marry one of those many beautiful women that are willing to be in bed with you... problem solved!

Kobojunkie:
Get a divorce and go marry one of those many beautiful women that are willing to be in bed with you... problem solved!

If you read through my post well you would notice that I said I am a Christian. Divorce is not allowed except for adultery.

SuperPanther:
➜If you read through my post well you would notice that I said I am a Christian. Divorce is not allowed except for adultery.

Say what now?

⚉ Christian men are known to be cheats — they are world-renowned for blaming some dude called the devil for all of their atrocities in marriage.
⚉ Christian men are known to engage prostitutes— a good number of the over 280 million men registered on the OnlyFans website are Christian men.
⚉ Christian men are known to obtain divorce at the same rate as non-Christians do...

With an ever-shifting goal post that is typical of pretty much all religions(Christianity among them), it matters nothing that you claim to be Christian, since your Christianity does not seem to keep you from placing sex— raw bodily pleasure— on a pedestal in even your marriage. Let's retire that "I am a Christian" card already! 😏😏

Kobojunkie:
Say what now?

⚉ Christian men are known to be cheats — they are world-renowned for blaming some dude called the devil for all of their atrocities in marriage.
⚉ Christian men are known to engage prostitutes— a good number of the over 280 million men registered on the OnlyFans website are Christian men.
⚉ Christian men are known to obtain divorce at the same rate as non-Christians do.

With an ever-shifting goal post, it matters nothing that you claim to be Christian, since your Christianity does not seem to keep you from placing sex— raw bodily pleasure— on a pedestal in even your marriage. Let's retire that "I am a Christian" card already! 😏😏

So in you views, only Divorce will solve this problem? He wants a solution outside of divorce, if you dont have, keep quiet instead of gaslighting him.

Lifestone:
✓ So in you views, only Divorce will solve this problem? He wants a solution outside of divorce, if you dont have, keep quiet instead of gaslighting him.

OP's wife is unable to give him what he wants, whereas he has other women who can and are more than willing to. What other solution is there apart from divorce? Let me guess ..

• Op should get a sidechick?
• OP should force his wife to drop her own boundaries and possibly risk her own mental health in giving him sex to satiate his desires for pleasure?
• OP should shut off his desires and basically toss sex out of his mind for the good of his wife and family?
...

Which one of the above do you not consider an attempt at gaslighting? Let's start with that and see where the stakes lie and for whom

21 century men acting all weak and vulnerable. So you'll just watch her press phone till forever? Dont you have the balls to act like a man? Una dey amuse me oh.

Anyways,your type is what women term "understanding man"
Most married men have gone 6ft due to this 'Christian man' something.

Kobojunkie:
OP's wife is unable to give him what he wants whereas he has other women who can and are more than willing to. What other solution is there apart from divorce? Let me guess ..

• Op should get a sidechick?
• OP should force his wife to drop her own boundaries and possibly risk her own mental health in giving him sex to satiate his desires for pleasure?
• OP shut off his desires and basically toss sex out of his mind for the good of his wife and family?

Which one of the above do you not consider an attempt at gaslighting? Let's start with that and see what the stakes are.

I know you can't be right all the time but darn somethings you surprise even the devil with the kind of things you post.

I can only hope you are catching cruise as a best case scenario which even is quite concerning to be honest.
Now if you are actually serious about some of these disturbing replies you post then I am 100% certain you suffer from a psychological disorder.

This is not a terribly bad thing but you have to realize this fact so you can manage it especially those days that you'd be low and down and restless.

How do I know all this ? I have been there myself.

To the OP, as bad as Nigerians are not many are worse than professing /religious Christians who lack moral compass and solid family values.

It's even worse amongst those ones that attend all these "modern day club houses" now disguised as church.

Generally not many women can match a man's libido even my wife doesn't but it's the way and manner it's managed that determines how devastating that gap will be in the marriage.

I married my wife a virgin so it doesn't matter how angry I am whenever I remember that night I disvirgined her after marriage I just forgive her even when she's wrong...

It's this kind of things that makes marriage a delicate institution.

Hopefully she makes the correction or you learn to adapt to the new reality.

What happens if you let her know you ate now maturating due to her denying you sex ?

Kobojunkie:
OP's wife is unable to give him what he wants whereas he has other women who can and are more than willing to. What other solution is there apart from divorce? Let me guess ..

• Op should get a sidechick?
• OP should force his wife to drop her own boundaries and possibly risk her own mental health in giving him sex to satiate his desires for pleasure?
• OP should shut off his desires and basically toss sex out of his mind for the good of his wife and family?
...

Which one of the above do you not consider an attempt at gaslighting? Let's start with that and see what the stakes are.

How about seeing a professional marriage counselor?

Lifestone:
➜How about seeing a professional marriage counselor?

To tell him option 3 is the most likely step forward?

Kobojunkie:
To tell him option 3 is the most likely step forward?

How will that be the recommendation of a counselor. That's your own imagination.
A woman in a marriage can not just be refusing sex, there must have been an underlying factor, a good counselor will identify that and fix it.
I hope you are not a counselor

Lifestone:
➜How will that be the recommendation of a counselor. That's your own imagination.
A woman in a marriage can not just be refusing sex, there must have been an underlying factor, a good counselor will identify that and fix it.
I hope you are not a counselor

I can tell from this that you have never seen a professional therapist— not your pastors and religious conmen—, let alone listened to one ever.

Kobojunkie:
I can tell from this that you have never seen a professional therapist— not your pastors and religious conmen—, let alone listened to one ever.

Dont digress, leave Pastor alone. Even your professional therapist will agree that its not normal for a woman to enter into a marriage contract and denied her husband sex, she obviously needs help, and most time, its not divorce that's the solution

Lifestone:
➜Dont digress, leave Pastor alone. Even your professional therapist will agree that its not normal for a woman to enter into a marriage contract and denied his husband sex, she obviously needs help, and mist time, its not divorce that's the solution

You have never actually talked to a therapist, is what... neither a professional marriage counselor.

Lifestone:
So in you views, only Divorce will solve this problem? He wants a solution outside of divorce, if you dont have, keep quiet instead of gaslighting him.

You are engaging with someone with an unstable mind, her fist reply should have made you understand she was just mocking you.

Very annoying post

SuperPanther:
If you read through my post well you would notice that I said I am a Christian. Divorce is not allowed except for adultery.

Your wife is cheating on you, divorce her ASAP

How long have you been married? Any kid(s)

If your wife isn't giving you sex so you what stops you from getting it outside? If your wife is sleeping with another man or has a weak libido why should that bother you? Did they tie both of your umbilical cord together from heaven? If you are tired and not enjoying your marriage why not leave. Marriage isn't a do or die affair and this isn't about marriage counselling nonsense. If you want to continue suffering, that's your choice.

PerfectStranger:
21 century men acting all weak and vulnerable. So you'll just watch her press phone till forever? Dont you have the balls to act like a man? Una dey amuse me oh.

Anyways,your type is what women term "understanding man"
Most married men have gone 6ft due to this 'Christian man' something.

By this do you suggest he should force her to show how macho he is...?

If that's your suggestion how long should he keep up?

Not everything is brute force or about masculinity!

GuyInTheMirror:
I know you can't be right all the time but darn somethings you surprise even the devil with the kind of things you post.

I can only hope you are catching cruise as a best case scenario which even is quite concerning to be honest.
Now if you are actually serious about some of these disturbing replies you post then I am 100% certain you suffer from a psychological disorder.

This is not a terribly bad thing but you have to realize this fact so you can manage it especially those days that you'd be low and down and restless.

How do I know all this ? I have been there myself.

To the OP, as bad as Nigerians are not many are worse than professing /religious Christians who lack moral compass and solid family values.

It's even worse amongst those ones that attend all these "modern day club houses" now disguised as church.

Generally not many women can match a man's libido even my wife doesn't but it's the way and manner it's managed that determines how devastating that gap will be in the marriage.

I married my wife a virgin so it doesn't matter how angry I am whenever I remember that night I disvirgined her after marriage I just forgive her even when she's wrong...

It's this kind of things that makes marriage a delicate institution.

Hopefully she makes the correction or you learn to adapt to the new reality.

What happens if you let her know you ate now maturating due to her denying you sex ?

Even though kobo can say ridiculous stuff at times...


She actually does make sense other times in a deep way.

In this situation I see nothing wrong or out of place with what she said.

Maybe you have a "pre programmed" or biased mindset towards kobo.

Sometimes we should focus on the message and not the messenger!

brain54:
By this do you suggest he should force her to show how macho he is...?

If that's your suggestion how long should he keep up?

Not everything is brute force or about masculinity!

No,they're ways to handle this as a man. For Godsake he's the head. Talk to her,if that doesn't work you apply plan B. He should stop this "I'm a Christian man" mantra, is really annoying.

OKOATA:
If your wife isn't giving you sex so you what stops you from getting it outside? If your wife is sleeping with another man or has a weak libido why should that bother you? Did they tie both of you umbilical cord together from heaven? If you are tired and not enjoying your marriage why not leave. it isn't a do or die affair and this isn't about marriage counselling nonsense. If you want to continue suffering, that's your choice.

Don't mind him. He'll tell you he's a Christian man

PerfectStranger:
No,they're ways to handle this as a man. For Godsake he's the head. Talk to her,if that doesn't work you apply plan B. He should stop this "I'm a Christian man" mantra, is really annoying.

What is plan b...

And you think he hasn't talked to her before creating thread?

brain54:
What is plan b...

And you think he hasn't talked to her before creating thread?

Obviously he won't be able to explore other plans coz he's a Christian man

Nothing more disappointing than opening a thread and seeing it flooded with comments from that Kobo fellow

Dayummmm
Y’all married folks be going through the most 😫