₦airaland Forum

We are four siblings in my family: two boys who are twins and two girls. When my mum passed, my elder sister stood in as a parent for us. She paid for our university education and sent us monthly allowances for feeding. In fact, three of us would have dropout if not for her. Even when I graduated from school, she was still sending me 30k every month, pending when I get a job. This is in addition to also sending same to my siblings and my father. She has done this for close to 10 years without complaint.

Recently, I finished a project that paid me 2.1 million. This is how I spent the money:
I gave 500k to my church to thank them for getting me the job.
300k to my father.
100k to my stepmum.
100k to my second sister.
Bought 700k laptop to help with my coding job.
I used the rest to pay rent, change my wardrobe, clearance from school, and feeding.

My elder sister found out from my twin brother and got angry because I didn't tell her anything about the job or the money. She was also angry because I didn't set aside money for my twin brother going to law school this year.

To be honest, I didn't think it was a big deal to tell her. I knew my twin was in safe hands cos she was already handling that so I didn't bother. Before now, she had already paid the law school fees (about 500k). So I thought it was settled. I tried to reason with her but she refused to hear.

She was also angry I didn't tell her about the laptop. I knew I messed up here because she was the one that encouraged me to pick up coding and even bought my first laptop. I told her I wanted to finalize everything but it made her angry tye more. She blocked me and I also found out she blocked everyone else including our father.

All these happened in April. I thought she would calm down by now. But I just discovered that she has moved out of our state without telling anyone. She has blocked all the numbers we tried to reach her.

My twin brother said she only sends him allowance for law school (100k every month) and has blocked his number so he won't contact her. He is the only person she sends money to now as she has stopped giving us as before.

I am so confused. Why is she acting like this? Shouldn't she be happy for me? Nairalanders help me.

File photo from Google

There’s nothing you can do..

An ingrate doesn’t deserve a 2nd chance..

PulaPower:
There’s nothing you can do..

An ingrate doesn’t deserve a 2nd chance..

Please know what you're saying. I have always been grateful to her for everything she has done. This is the first time I have ever messed up.

Why you go give church #500k?
This is ridiculous!

10% of 2.1M is 210k

You Bleep up.

use the remaining give your sister 300k for the help.

Beerbeer:
Please know what you're saying. I have always been grateful to her for everything she has done. This is the first time I have ever messed up.

You were not grateful when you had money, and you still are not grateful now it seems!

500k for church but none for your sister who has been mother to you for more than 10 years is like ungrateful par excellence, but I'm glad you know you messed up.

Go beg for forgiveness, and sin no more.

Beerbeer:
➜We are four siblings in my family: two boys who are twins and two girls. When my mum passed, my elder sister stood in as a parent for us. She paid for our university education and sent us monthly allowances for feeding. In fact, three of us would have dropout if not for her. Even when I graduated from school, she was still sending me 30k every month, pending when I get a job. This is in addition to also sending same to my siblings and my father. She has done this for close to 10 years without complaint.
Recently, I finished a project that paid me 2.1 million. This is how I spent the money:
I gave 500k to my church to thank them for getting me the job.
300k to my father.
100k to my stepmum.
100k to my second sister.
Bought 700k laptop to help with my coding job.
I used the rest to pay rent, change my wardrobe, clearance from school, and feeding.
My elder sister found out from my twin brother and got angry because I didn't tell her anything about the job or the money. She was also angry because I didn't set aside money for my twin brother going to law school this year.
To be honest, I didn't think it was a big deal to tell her. I knew my twin was in safe hands cos she was already handling that so I didn't bother. Before now, she had already paid the law school fees (about 500k). So I thought it was settled. I tried to reason with her but she refused to hear.
She was also angry I didn't tell her about the laptop. I knew I messed up here because she was the one that encouraged me to pick up coding and even bought my first laptop. I told her I wanted to finalize everything but it made her angry tye more. She blocked me and I also found out she blocked everyone else including our father.
All these happened in April. I thought she would calm down by now. But I just discovered that she has moved out of our state without telling anyone. She has blocked all the numbers we tried to reach her.
My twin brother said she only sends him allowance for law school (100k every month) and has blocked his number so he won't contact her. He is the only person she sends money to now, as she has stopped giving us as before. I am so confused. Why is she acting like this? Shouldn't she be happy for me? Nairalanders help me.

➜ You have a father, ...., but your sister had to step in to parent you all, yet you don't see what you did wrong? You even went as far as to give a stepmother money, too?
➜You had 500k to give away to a church as Nigeria dey so, yet you don't see what you may have done wrong?
➜ (Nothing saved up for future)

May this kain sibling never happen to me!

10 % of the contract should be 210k

You went and gave 500k

You could have bought foods stuff for your elder sister and thank her. Even if it's 100k worth of foods stuff



Who am I to judge you on how to spend your money?

You worked hard and you have the right to spend it however you want.

Ungrateful is an understatement. You seem entitled too.
If you were in her shoes, you for don abandon your people teytey!

Can I knw your ages?? To me, you sound childish, mature man cant act d way u acted,

U fvck up, probably she thought your father knew about it and failed to advised you

Ingrate. That is the only word that fits you.
You gave everyone else money, but your sis. Even if you didn't give her money, at least tell her you hit some dough. Not telling her shows the kind of person you are. You all deserve to be blocked.

Nobody could be this dumb.

I refuse to believe this happened..

Dey look for engagement.

Beerbeer:
We are four siblings in my family: two boys who are twins and two girls. When my mum passed, my elder sister stood in as a parent for us. She paid for our university education and sent us monthly allowances for feeding. In fact, three of us would have dropout if not for her. Even when I graduated from school, she was still sending me 30k every month, pending when I get a job. This is in addition to also sending same to my siblings and my father. She has done this for close to 10 years without complaint.

Recently, I finished a project that paid me 2.1 million. This is how I spent the money:
I gave 500k to my church to thank them for getting me the job.
300k to my father.
100k to my stepmum.
100k to my second sister.
Bought 700k laptop to help with my coding job.
I used the rest to pay rent, change my wardrobe, clearance from school, and feeding.

My elder sister found out from my twin brother and got angry because I didn't tell her anything about the job or the money. She was also angry because I didn't set aside money for my twin brother going to law school this year.

To be honest, I didn't think it was a big deal to tell her. I knew my twin was in safe hands cos she was already handling that so I didn't bother. Before now, she had already paid the law school fees (about 500k). So I thought it was settled. I tried to reason with her but she refused to hear.

She was also angry I didn't tell her about the laptop. I knew I messed up here because she was the one that encouraged me to pick up coding and even bought my first laptop. I told her I wanted to finalize everything but it made her angry tye more. She blocked me and I also found out she blocked everyone else including our father.

All these happened in April. I thought she would calm down by now. But I just discovered that she has moved out of our state without telling anyone. She has blocked all the numbers we tried to reach her.

My twin brother said she only sends him allowance for law school (100k every month) and has blocked his number so he won't contact her. He is the only person she sends money to now as she has stopped giving us as before.

I am so confused. Why is she acting like this? Shouldn't she be happy for me? Nairalanders help me.

I insulted you earlier and I got banned but I will say again that you are ungrateful.


And you should be very ashamed of yourself.


You should bury your head in the sand.

You did not try at all, your elder sis stood by you guys all through, if she had saved all the money she spent in you guys for her self, she would have become a millionaire and own properties to herself. But she had you guys in mind as per sibling love but you in return decided to sideline her when you had your own money.

Haba it's not fair at all. I am sure she wouldn't have asked for your money but you should have at least give her that honor and involved her in your contract because if not for her sponsored you to have education and encouraged you to start coding, will the church even consider you for the Job? How are we sure after your twin finish law school he won't act the same way as you did.

Please you all should just find a way to go and beg for her forgiveness.

Well, the damage has been done, and your sister is deeply hurt and upset. I'm sure you've received more than enough reprimands from the posters above.
You're obviously a youth with fleeting ideas that underscores your naivety.
I'll advise you to call on extended family members your older sister still respects and listens to and ask them to intervene.
We learn from our mistakes every day, and I'm sure you've learned an unforgettable lesson from this experience.
I wish you the best!

Op, u didn't appreciate God enough with the 500k gift to the church, I was expecting u would at least dedicate 50% ie 1050000 naira to be sowed into your Pastor's pocket. Afterall your sister did nothing for u, it was merely your pastor's prayers that was answered through her.

This guy get mind oh
You carry 500k gaga dey give church.


Before giving anybody 1 naira, your elder sister should have been number 1.. can you imagine your life without her helping you?!

Bros you no try at all.
Haba you don fall my hands.

Beerbeer:
Please know what you're saying. I have always been grateful to her for everything she has done. This is the first time I have ever messed up.

Firstly, what is the age difference between you and your elder sister?
Secondly, why didn't you tell her about the contract? She must have felt betrayed.
Thirdly, Did your twin brother tell her in good faith or was he trying to paint you black?
Finally, hustle for another contract, and buy her a nice gift as a show of appreciation.

On a second thought, I think your elder sister is oveareacting. Perharps, something else is bothering her, and she is just using the unfortunate situation to get away from y'all. Kudos to all sisters who always assume the role of a mother to their younger siblings. I used to know one, but in her case, the mom was still alive but not in the country. She accomodated and supported 7 of her siblings in her apartment. Guess what? They all got married and left the house.

She was too busy taking care of them that she forgot she was suppposed to start her own family. At the end, she eventually found someone, but sadly, she passed away shortly after. Moral of the story, you may pause your life so others can get ahead, but they may not do the same for you.

Wow. You are a total and complete ingrate. In fact, I dey vex on your sister's behalf. Thunder fire...

What i did not understand here is that why did your offence affected the rest siblings?

Your sister who has been helping you all your life
You didn’t bother to say aunty take this 200k as what your have done or simple tell her all that has happened but you could give your church whopping 300k because they helped you just once but you forgot who has been there for you all your life

If I’m her I won’t even send anybody money again and that the end of it

You’re an ingrate and she’s right to threat you like that

zuby4real10:
What i did not understand here is that why did you offence affected the rest siblings?

Non of them could even suggest or mention her when the money was shared, they were all after what they could get. But she has been there for them

Abeg, who get oraimo cord for there make e borrow me. To wipe this OP for neck dey hungry me. Your sister suppose arrest anyone of una wey try call her again. Dem dey spoon feed una, una manage see small bread dey form small boss. Empowerment program don close, make una face front.

You made her realise that she's dealing with the "what did you even do for me" type of siblings. It's not until things go sour for her that she'll realise that her siblings never rated her, it's when things look up for such siblings. It's your types that will turn your backs against her if fortunes were reversed, she did well by keeping a safe distance from you all.

Your mum died and it was your sister that took up the role of sponsoring you not your dad, that means your mum was the financial muscle of your family (nairaland men swear with their lives that Nigerian women bring NOTHING to the table btw). How was she treated? Was she appreciated by your dad and siblings? I'm almost certain your mum died unloved, unappreciated and disregarded by your dad and siblings. Your sister must have seen this and doesn't want to follow her footsteps.

Smh. Hmmm. Just imagine. After all she has done for you. Na wa ooo. She did the right thing cutting you off.

Don't worry, you will understand more as you mature, as older people say "life is lived forward but understood backward".

She kept the entire family close to her bosom, but apparently she is no longer regarded as a human, she is only seen as a cash cow, that's why nobody except your twin bothered to tell her. I know exactly the hurt she feels

Just allow her be for now, let her live for herself a little, she just learnt the lesson-all bread winner learn at some point-that people can survive without her and she need not worry. Good thing she still supports your brother.

Try make money and buy her gifts even if she doesn't need them, as a sign that you see & appreciate her

Hian!

I am starting to understand why yorubas say " omo oshi jati jati alai mo ore".

You did well. I dont know why she decided to leave you alone o....maybe ask her previous house for forwarding address. Whew!