₦airaland Forum

Lol... God has saved this one from calamity... The family doesnt want you; even your so-called husband to be doesnt want you, but you were too blinded by the desire to be called 'Mrs' that you couldnt see it.

Natbrowny:
People don stop this nonsense.

Nicknames has taken over ..

U can call ur sister in law by nicknames
Abi una dey put anty b4 nickname.? 😂

God bless you.

Nothing like aunty, brother etc any more. Just give them a fine nickname and you are good to go.

Una dey try with creative writing



But in reality,let no young guy kneel down to propose marriage to a girl.


Go and ask Pete Edochie.

jmoore:
https://www.facebook.com/100071450056350/posts/pfbid08MSo7iCYAXR8b6gvpL3iR1UXYkFZBia23sHekfA8SigKnTXYLMZV4PnmAug6QmP4l/?app=fbl

This will be about the first time I'm standing beside someone in protecting pride and dignity.
The most high dodged a Hollow point bullet for you there girl.
Be thankful.
Oya rora be flaunting your masters degree everywhere...before this uneducated oversubscribed come at you for rubbing it on their faces.
Good choice.

That test was too extreme.
Is not like as if men are now limited. She can go outside and toast another husband.

LordIsaac:
I think it was just a test in submission. If you really love the guy, nothing on earth can take him away from you.

jmoore:
https://www.facebook.com/100071450056350/posts/pfbid08MSo7iCYAXR8b6gvpL3iR1UXYkFZBia23sHekfA8SigKnTXYLMZV4PnmAug6QmP4l/?app=fbl

Lie lie story.

You can do better.

Any story wey dem include pictures like this one, just know say na lie . FABU!

It's part of yoruba culture and I have benefitted from it. Many women who were far older than me could not call me by my real name. They instead gave me intelligent nicknames. I think it can be modified. Not necessarily Aunt or uncle but good nicknames.

God just saved you from the hangman's noose. That's not a marriage you wanted to enter into, it was a trap

jmoore:
https://www.facebook.com/100071450056350/posts/pfbid08MSo7iCYAXR8b6gvpL3iR1UXYkFZBia23sHekfA8SigKnTXYLMZV4PnmAug6QmP4l/?app=fbl

I want to believe this is just a fiction however, it is true in the south west you don't call your in-laws no matter how younger than you a wife name, even if you can't call he or she boda or anti, you must use nicknames like Akowe, Eyinafe, Ibadiaran and so on,but thank God civilization and only me and my husband of nowadays has reduced it significantly.

NotOfThisWorld:
That is rubbish. They must be a poor and ignorant family. I hope she told them "Deuces!". Good riddance.

What is rubbish there?

It is a culture in Yoruba land to address anyone from your husband family as aunty or brother regardless of their age as long as they are older than your own children.
Once you start having children in the family, you are free to address any body that is younger than your own children by their names.

LordIsaac:
I think it was just a test in submission. If you really love the guy, nothing on earth can take him away from you.

That is an absurd test see the age gap for god sake…I should call an eleven year old aunty? For what? Is she her mate? I wouldn’t do that even as a joke and the supposed mother in law is even serious about that? It shows the man was even a mummy’s boy…..to me it’s a valid reason….youre supposed to teach the eleven year old daughter to be calling the lady aunty instead.

LordIsaac:
I think it was just a test in submission. If you really love the guy, nothing on earth can take him away from you.

That is an absurd test see the age gap for god sake…I should call an eleven year old aunty? For what? Is she her mate? I wouldn’t do that even as a joke and the supposed mother in law is even serious about that? It shows the man was even a mummy’s boy…..to me it’s a valid reason….youre supposed to teach the eleven year old daughter to be calling the lady aunty instead.

That is if this story is real…but o won’t be surprised if it is because abnormal people say this life wey Dey increase every day

Double0h7:
I didn’t like all the credentials she was dropping! I hate when people make jobs and certifications an extension of themselves. It’s some low self esteem vibes.

I remember meeting a guy and he told me not to call him by his name but to add doctor before his name. I told him you’re not my doctor so I won’t be calling you doctor so and so. He was offended and I just stopped calling him full stop. Some people need to get a personality!

Nice points. I should get to know you. You sound interesting. Can I email you?

Kajaard:
To the op: you dodged a sniper bullet

Infact you dodged an atomic bomb bigger than the one used in world war 2 on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

This is coming from a man. Please have no regrets at all. That family is a complete write off.

You will get a better man soon. Don't think about it.

The above comment in bold made me laugh and almost fall from where l was sitting

Godfullsam:
What is rubbish there?

It is a culture in Yoruba land to address anyone from your husband family as aunty or brother regardless of their age as long as they are older than your own children.
Once you start having children in the family, you are free to address any body that is younger than your own children by their names.

Speak for your own family oga….theres no such rubbish culture in Yoruba that says that. Sane Yoruba people that know true respect will tell the girl to be calling the 29 year old lady aunty instead. And not the other way around

Haydens:
The husband is nothing but a mommy's boy. Their marriage won't even have any boundaries between them and his mother if the marriage had happened. My mother is my mother, my wife is my wife. My mother enjoyed her show maybe uninterrupted when my father married her, so she should let my wife enjoy her show too if I later marry.

I will accord everyone their respect when I finally decided to marry( on probability tho).

The husband is not a mummy's boy in my opinion.

That lady is a Yoruba lady. She knows Yoruba culture but she thinks she can use her degree and certificate to override a culture that have been in existence before she was born as if she is the first to obtain a master's degree.

Let her marry her certificate because even if she goes to another Yoruba family, she will meet the same culture. The best she should have done was to give those her husband families a sweet nickname and address them as such.

That is how it is done in Yoruba land.

LordIsaac:
I think it was just a test in submission. If you really love the guy, nothing on earth can take him away from you.

..if she calls the 11 years old girl Aunty..then what will the 11 years old girl call the lady that is older than her

I have full respect for this lady. I can't imagine my wife calling every kids in my family Aunty or Uncle just because of marriage.

fabolouz1:
This story is not real because wtf ? people are depressed and cook up stories to gather sympathy.

I doubt it’s cooked up. My in-laws wanted to try this with me but I stood my ground.

brain54:
During my undergraduate days I lived off campus...


Now the apartment I rented then was a family house and in it lived brother Akeebo and his newly wedded wife. In a different apartment but same compound lived kabiru and his own family.

Kabiru had a daughter called wasia ( I don't know if the spelling is correct) but brother Akeebo's wife always called wasia who was about 9 years old at the time "auntie wasia" infact she kneeled down to greet her.

She was sometimes scolded if she didn't kneel while greeting or forgot to add "auntie" to wasia.


I thought it was ceremonial at the time... because although I had limited understanding of the language they communicated in at the time - which was Yoruba, I never saw wasia send the wife on errands for instance, or exhibit any unusual behavior a 9 year old would do to a woman more than twice her age.

I don't know how that culture plays out though when they both get older like when wasia herself gets to 30 years as I didn't stick long enough to find out.

But I still believe maybe the prefix to the name calling and kneeling down and all that show of respect may just be ceremonial based on culture. I may be wrong though.


My story was just to buttress that indeed a scenario like that can happen based on where they come from culturally. Based on my own personal experience and witness.

Now my own opinion about the story itself is that she was right to insist on not being okay with such tradition instead of pretend to be okay with it.


I can't fault the man and his family though if they insist on keeping their old traditional practices after all I don't see how it hurts anyone if everyone is okay with it.

In the end marriage is about agreements between a couple and by extension families. It's best to sort out issues that would likely cause friction in future and if a middle ground or compromise isn't tenable then the marriage should be halted.

It's not a do or die affair and I like how they parted ways instead of going ahead with the idea that they could convince either of themselves to change their mentality whilst in the marriage!

plain, logical and balance

princeade86:
Follow ur husband tradition if u know u want to marry him. Simple. Not everything is civilization

..so if she calls the 11 years old girl Aunty.. then what will the 11 years old girl call the lady that is more older than her

Tradition is tradition... Madam you never ready for marriage. Seems you still a room in your father's house

LordIsaac:
I think it was just a test in submission. If you really love the guy, nothing on earth can take him away from you.

My thoughts exactly.
She was tested for submission and true love but she fell apart like a pack of cards.
Means she wasn't really into the whole marriage stuff. That's women for you.

Kajaard:
To the op: you dodged a sniper bullet

Infact you dodged an atomic bomb bigger than the one used in world war 2 on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

This is coming from a man. Please have no regrets at all. That family is a complete write off.

You will get a better man soon. Don't think about it.

On the contrary, it was the man that dodged a missile.

See the way the lady was claiming to be sweet and respectful yet she was not humble enough to address her husband's family the way the culture demand.
She sees her degree to be more superior than the cultures that have been existing before she was born.

This is the kind of ladies that won't respect their husband families. Once you don't have a master degree, she will see you as a piece of shit.

HolySteph:
I doubt it’s cooked up. My in-laws wanted to try this with me but I stood my ground.

You are here bragging because you have a man that is not influenced by his family against you. You didn't stand your ground anything, your hubby simply backed you firmly.

This similar senerio wanted to happen in my marriage, my mum told my wife to be calling my immediate junior sister sister, I told my mum, it is not possible, you can't dictate for me, my wife is older than her with 3years, my wife is a gentle person, she called me at night and said I should let go, that it won't take anything away from her, since they don't stay together.

I told my mum, do you want a situation where I won't accommodate any one of you in my house again? I don't take nonse.nse.

I love the family I came from, but they should be boundry for somethings, it's a must I also protect the family I create myself

It's ok to feel bad about this but take time to thank God for not letting you into this family. Even if you remain single for a while you are better off than marrying into such a family.

That mother-in-law would have continued to run the marriage for them if she had continued. But it's their culture anyways.

Lekan239:
If its ur husband immediate siblings/cousin, etc then using respect tone for them is still ideal. But 11year old husband neice or nephew. Haba o bad na. Those once self should be calling u mummy and u can act as mother figure for them

There are traditional ways around it without having to call her aunty.
After all aunty is an English and not a Yoruba word.

It is called etiquette. In Yoruba tradition calling a person's first name is an act of see finish
Even if we are age mates or friends we do not usually call first names in public. You address people with their child's name e.g Baba Iyabo or profession Baba Teacher Mama Nurse or just Baba/Mama

Even the English that colonised us used honorific for a young person or child to whom honor is due
Master or Miss
Master Edward
Miss Jane

The French used Monsieur and Mademoiselle for young people


In Yoruba tradition normally a wife does not call by name any family member who witnessed her marriage
She could call a young girl Sisi e.g Sisi Iyabo or Iyaoko mi or Iyaoko kekere or over time a work out a nickname
Even if between them she calls her name she must not allow others witness it if she wants peace e.g calling her name out loud to request help or send her on an errand to the hearing of others like in this case mother in law is a big error

Many Yoruba have oriki like Adunni, Joke Akanni etc
With familiarity find a nickname that works but calling people by their first names in Yoruba culture implies see finish.
In Lekki and Ikoyi it might not matter but some are still quite traditional

Having said that the same respect accords to the wife respect is reciprocal
We don't just call her name anyhow too. She has to be addressed with honor . E.g Iyawo, Iyawo wa, or by her children

So it is not about dominating anyone but etiquette

People have no problem calling their juniors Daddy and Mummy at church but refuse to respect each other

In Yoruba culture someone born before you married into the family ranks above you but they will still respect you if you are older. It is therefore two way. In Yoruba culture you can't call anybody that ranks above you by their names. In the past it used to be aliases

Weird culture. Expecting an adult to Call a baby an aunty. Mad Family.