₦airaland Forum

Wether this story is real or not. My own red flag is, why choose to become a 3rd wife to another man.
Are we sure that man isn't the original father of her child to the late husband.
Some people saying time is not on her side as per child birthing again, when she can still have children from now till her 48, 50 yrs.
Except maybe she has infertility problem. But if not, within two years if she's sociable, she will meet a matured sinlge man or divorcee that will marry her and they'll still have more children. Instead of this sham of becoming a 3rd wife.
.
And she's also in a hurry to leave that family bcus the property of their late brother is in her care freely. Honestly, in my own conclusion something is fishy with her.

Kobojunkie:
Inherit what exactly? Did OP tell you that the brother, after his health problems, had something for her to inherit, to begin with? Abeg, make una dey resist urges to insert your delusions into the lines of the OP.

You didn't read where Op said their joint business is in her care

MistyDense:
I know a lot of you will call me all sorts of unprintable names and would want to nameshame me.

My Elder brother died about nine months ago and his wife is about to Remarry.

They had been married for ten whole years, but unable to bear a child for 7years, until God blessed them with a beautiful and lovely baby Girl. We all celebrated and were joyous. A few weeks after childbirth, my brother became sick. What initially looked like an ulcer became something else, and he had to go under the knife. After the surgery, there were some Terrible complications, which resulted in his eventual demise. Most painful part was, he had just landed his dream job after five years of graduation. He was extremely depressed as a result of this joblessness until luck smiled at him. He was traveling round the world like he was going to his backyard. He was breezing in and out of Nigeria for official duties until the sickness struck.
Now it's been nine months, and she already made her intentions known to my family that she wants to Remarry. Meanwhile, the baby is just two and half years old.

As a woman, I understand how lonely and traumatized she is. I perfectly understand what she's going through but myself and my family feel it's too too early for this. We, her late husband's family didn't and have never interfered in her dealings. All my brother's properties are in her custody, the Businesses they co-owned are all in her care.

I thought she would have waited a bit much longer to do this, considering how much she seemingly loved her late husband. Meanwhile she's 38yrs old. Her parents have told her to wait for some time, but she wouldn't listen. But before making her intentions known to my family, we already suspected that she was seeing someone else, going by the way she was acting.

I'm now the next in command in my family after my elder Brother's death, but I'm also a woman and have limited powers. Even if I had all the powers, I still wouldn't be Able to stop her from doing what she wants. After All, she's older than me.

I'm really pissed now as she will be taking my niece to live with another man. She's marrying a man who already has two wives, making her the third.

What should I do?

It is good your family did not drag anything with her.

There are three ways to go about it:

1. If you want to find out the real truth, then, find a way to trick her to bring the girl and do a DNA. If negative, you can sue her for deception and collect back all that belongs to your brother/ what the court says you deserve, and let her keep hers. But the African family will live in delusion saying they don't want to spoil the legacy of their dead son. Lol. Legacy on top deception?

2. If the girl is your brother's after confirmation via DNA, just set up traps for her to see if the child is maltreatment in any way. Get evidence, sue her and get the properties from her so you can use them to take care of the child.

3. If she is treating the girl very well even after entering a polygamous home after the DNA test says she is your niece, face your life. Na your brother married her. Not your business anymore. Just try to keep in touch with the girl. That's all. The funny thing is that the girl might change her surname after marriage so that there is no obvious connection with your family. You sef go change name. So, why the stress?

My friend married a widow with a son after his divorce. The widow and the ex father inlaw even went to court before my friend met her for some issues for you to know the extent the relationship has been damaged. She is based abroad. It took my friend to bring the child to Nigeria to see the child's grand parents first. See how the oldies dey worship my friend the new husband oooo. Whenever the oldies visit the city they live, they don't call the lady. It's my friend they call so you can know how bad their relationship had been before she married my friend. My friend was just a cool headed guy. He even told me that the child is feeling someone and wants to change his surname to his because he feels odd. The guy said her mama supported it sharply. The guy come reason am deep. Do you know what he did? He told the boy to wait till he is 18 to decide. And when her wife wanted to do change of name also, he told her to still retain her late husband and add his just for the sake of the boy. Na only 2 years remain. Na so the mama talk say after the boy is 18, she will change and not go throigh the process instead of carry two surnames now. Lol. After the boy is 18 both of them can do whatsoever they want. Why? He needs a genuine excuse when the oldies come around with war why their male grandson changes his surname. That na court case part two wey go hot. But when the boy is 18, werin dem wan talk. Na the boy's decision. Period. But those oldies can say the boy is manipulated and brainwashed if changed earlier..

Sister, na your brother go marry non.sen..se. Wetin we go kon do like this? Live your life.

Kobojunkie:
? Why must that decision of hers be considered fishy? She is a baby mama and wants another husband... and under no obligation to be the only wife of her next man.

A baby mama I guess to the man she wants to eventually remarry. Bcus if not so, I see no reason why she can't wait much longer to get a matured single man or divorcee.
Nine months for me is not to quick for her to remarry, but why going to be a 3rd wife?
Is she that in a haste to leave her former inlaw just bcus some possession of the late man is with her

Kobojunkie:
.... Even if it turns out the child was not their brother's, what then? They can do nothing!

2. So the man did not die of complications, but mysteriously now? Because the woman is ready to move on? If say na man, you go also insinuate say na him kill the wife?

Do u know that in some tribes, when a woman cheats , it could lead to the death of the husband... 7 yrs without a child , maybe she cheated and conceived finally ....

Kalulu44:
✓ You didn't read where Op said their joint business is in her care

How does her co-owning business with her deceased husband translate to their being some sort of inheritance for her from the man? Are all business auto-successes or something?

cr7lomo:
Do u know that in some tribes, when a woman cheats , it could lead to the death of the husband... 7 yrs without a child , maybe she cheated and conceived finally ....

In 2025, dey play. As in in 2025? See eh. Don't ever use smartphone again cos you are not ready to progress in life. Just go back to that your old style...no one go disturb you.

cr7lomo:
➜Do u know that in some tribes, when a woman cheats , it could lead to the death of the husband... 7 yrs without a child , maybe she cheated and conceived finally ....

Storyland! 🙄🙄🙄

Yet, since the time of their ancestors, women have been cheating in the name of preserving their station in marriage. 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
How does her co-owning business with her deceased husband translate to their being some sort of inheritance for her from the man?

I just went back to re-read the write up, and there's a place she said all my brother's properties is in her care without them interfering, including their joint business. So what do you have to say

Kalulu44:
➜I just went back to re-read the write up, and there's a place she said all my brother's properties is in her care without them interfering, including their joint business. So what do you have to say

? She did indicate that her brother's property was with the woman, but did you at least try to confirm she was not merely referring to a box of old clothes, electronics, etc.? I mean, this leap to conclude that the brother had some sort of inheritance seems like that.... a leap.

Kalulu44:
➜A baby mama I guess to the man she wants to eventually remarry. Bcus if not so, I see no reason why she can't wait much longer to get a matured single man or divorcee.
➜Nine months for me is not to quick for her to remarry, but why going to be a 3rd wife? Is she that in a haste to leave her former inlaw just bcus some possession of the late man is with her

A woman without a husband in the picture— even one who is a single married woman — lives no different from a baby mama.

2. That one is your headache. There are men out there who propose to widows right as their husband is being buried. So, your own be that... your own.

Her life, her choice... I thought you guys said men are polygamous in nature? So why have issues with her deciding to her African culture by being a third wife?

Kalulu44:
Is that the reason for her to be 3rd wife to another man. Ain't there no single men again?

Their brother left his assets for her and his child only... So they should get a life and mind their business.

And polygamy as been part of our African cultures for centuries.

Zackattack:
What are you talking about 🤷‍♀️
Her family has a say in whom she marries, because of their brothers child and his assets that are still left behind, particularly for the child’s sake. It is okay to be worried about the fact that she’s getting married to a man with 2 wives already.
I’m sorry, but your statement is insensitive.

Coming from a family where my ma was oppressed as a widow and everything was almost siezed from her, i totally understood then what is it to be oppressed from the fathers family especially when it was the case that the man who died is well to do. I also asked myself the same question, if my younger brother died, will i let his widow remarry and move into another family with my brothers wealth? This decision will test every fibre in your being...

[sup][/sup]

I really don't know how her life and choices affect you negatively.

The relationship you had with her was indirect, through your brother and unfortunately this has ended.

And in my opinion your relationship with his child is a lot weaker than that of the child with her mother.

Just let it go and position yourself in her stead. If you lost your husband, will you wish for his sister to decide for you.....

Sonnobax15:

Na WA....

That's life for you....I keep telling people,--"Don't die, trying to impress your society". Cuz the moment you die,it won't even take the Same set of people more than A jiffy to move on with their lives

Na the same people way chant "Hosanna" still shout " crucify him" to bros Jesus....

World People.

Kalulu44:
It seems you guys are not getting it. Is she that desperate that it's only to become a 3rd wife to another man that suits her.
It's not as if she's 40 yet and can still have babies till her late 40s or thereabouts

You seem to be struggling with individual choices! She can become the 19th wife if she pleases! She has done nothing wrong other than live her life and run her own race. This is a God given right. A man marries 19 wives and he is a god but a woman becomes a 3rd wife and she is desperate? You people need to evaluate your biases because it’s leaking.

Double0h7:
You seem to be struggling with individual choices! She can become the 19th wife if she pleases! She has done nothing wrong other than live her life and run her own race. This is a God given right. A man marries 19 wives and he is a god but a woman becomes a 3rd wife and she is desperate? You people need to evaluate your biases because it’s leaking.

And what gave you the indices that I supported a man marrying 19 wives

Samantha125:
Her life, her choice... I thought you guys said men are polygamous in nature? So why have issues with her deciding to her African culture by being a third wife?

Yes her life and her choice, but there's something fishy about her quickly agreeing to be a 3rd wife with her late husband properties and child still in her care

Kobojunkie:
? She did indicate that her brother's property was with the woman, but did you at least try to confirm she was not merely referring to a box of old clothes, electronics, etc.? I mean, this leap to conclude that the brother had some sort of inheritance seems like that.... a leap.

Since she didn't mention all that, you're likewise assuming as I am assuming. But what will know is property is property be it anything

Kalulu44:
➜Since she didn't mention all that, you're likewise assuming as I am assuming. But what will know is property is property, be it anything

OP made no mention of any kind of inheritance being involved, but you have continually tried to push even his property as a form of inheritance. Hence the reason why I continue to query you on the why of this.

MistyDense:
I know a lot of you will call me all sorts of unprintable names and would want to nameshame me.

My Elder brother died about nine months ago and his wife is about to Remarry.

They had been married for ten whole years, but unable to bear a child for 7years, until God blessed them with a beautiful and lovely baby Girl. We all celebrated and were joyous. A few weeks after childbirth, my brother became sick. What initially looked like an ulcer became something else, and he had to go under the knife. After the surgery, there were some Terrible complications, which resulted in his eventual demise. Most painful part was, he had just landed his dream job after five years of graduation. He was extremely depressed as a result of this joblessness until luck smiled at him. He was traveling round the world like he was going to his backyard. He was breezing in and out of Nigeria for official duties until the sickness struck.
Now it's been nine months, and she already made her intentions known to my family that she wants to Remarry. Meanwhile, the baby is just two and half years old.

As a woman, I understand how lonely and traumatized she is. I perfectly understand what she's going through but myself and my family feel it's too too early for this. We, her late husband's family didn't and have never interfered in her dealings. All my brother's properties are in her custody, the Businesses they co-owned are all in her care.

I thought she would have waited a bit much longer to do this, considering how much she seemingly loved her late husband. Meanwhile she's 38yrs old. Her parents have told her to wait for some time, but she wouldn't listen. But before making her intentions known to my family, we already suspected that she was seeing someone else, going by the way she was acting.

I'm now the next in command in my family after my elder Brother's death, but I'm also a woman and have limited powers. Even if I had all the powers, I still wouldn't be Able to stop her from doing what she wants. After All, she's older than me.

I'm really pissed now as she will be taking my niece to live with another man. She's marrying a man who already has two wives, making her the third.

What should I do?

Put your Emotion aside , no be your brother get the picking ... so the baby is still Young now ...so the woman is trying to move to the legitimate father of the baby

Kobojunkie:
OP made no mention of any kind of inheritance being involved, but you have continually tried to push even his property as a form of inheritance. Hence the reason why I continue to query you on the why of this.

Must it be named inheritance before you know the lady has the dead man things. The Op that mentioned she has some of his properties knows why she said so. And I am really guessing it's even bcus of those properties that she brought this online and not the excuse of she wanting to remarry.
You think if their brother's properties and child is in their possession, they'll care if she marries even 2 month after her husband death

Kalulu44:
➜Must it be named inheritance before you know the lady has the dead man things.
➜ The Op that mentioned she has some of his properties knows why she said so. And I am really guessing it's even bcus of those properties that she brought this online and not the excuse of she wanting to remarry.
➜ You think if their brother's properties and child is in their possession, they'll care if she marries even 2 month after her husband death

. The dead man's things could all be worthless trash, so we cannot conclude by the mere mention of him having things that it amounts to an inheritance.

2. OP made no mention of demanding(or wanting to) the property from the woman. So?

3. This does not make any sense! The OP's write-up does not even seem focused on the welfare of the child. So what are you on about?

Kobojunkie:
So long as she did not kill him, she needs to be looking for any means to ensure she can care for that newborn and also survive given the reality of life and living for baby mamas in that country. 🤔

Oga them say the guy was already doing well for himself,so he must have invested one or two for the daughter.Except op and their family don collect am. But for the wife,it's just too early. She wasn't with her husband at all..

Reference:
[sup][/sup]

I really don't know how her life and choices affect you negatively.

The relationship you had with her was indirect, through your brother and unfortunately this has ended.

And in my opinion your relationship with his child is a lot weaker than that of the child with her mother.

Just let it go and position yourself in her stead. If you lost your husband, will you wish for his sister to decide for you.....

The most reasonable comment so far......

Myrepublic:
➜Oga them say the guy was already doing well for himself, so he must have invested one or two for the daughter. Except op and their family don collect am. But for the wife,it's just too early. She wasn't with her husband at all..

Una too dey like to add una own to the story! 🙄🙄🙄

Kobojunkie:
Una too dey like to add una own to the story! 🙄🙄🙄

How u go get money,no invest for ur family. Na only people like you dey do such

Such is life. Life goes on regardless of what happens or people's opinion.

Your worry shouldn't be about her and if she is planning to remarry. She will do what she wants it's her life. Your worry should be the 2 1/2years old daughter of your late brother.
If the say your brother had properties with her and businesses they "co-owned". This is where you people need to be diligent about because I feel if she remarries and do it wrong, everything on ground may be lost and she will eventually return the girl to you people (the husband's family).
So, my point is how do you ensure the few things they have built will be put to good use of taking care of that daughter for some good time depending on what it is they have and how long it can take them.
Marrying a lot of men these days is like taking a gamble at life, it may or may not work out (50/50 basis).

Nine months and she has decided to move on with a man. What's the assurance she has not been seeing this said man when your brother was alive. You cannot stop her if she's moving on with that man.