₦airaland Forum

GanagiBitrus:
The man is the Bread Winner & so should foot the bills.

That doesn't mean the woman can not foot some of the bills, but it shouldn't be out of obligation or duty.

It shouldn't be an obligation for the woman but for for the man? I don't know what you all are smoking.

justli:
➜It shouldn't be an obligation for the woman but for for the man? I don't know what you all are smoking.

For the man who wants to have a traditional marriage, it is an obligation— he gains an authoritative role over the woman in that case. However, it ceases to be an obligation for the man who instead opts for a partnership marriage; in addition, he also does not hold an authoritative role in a partnership.

Chilipepper:
It was so strange– Nigerian man feels discomfort after attempting to share household bills with his wife for the first time.

Come abroad ,no share bill,u go understand better 😀😀,u go learn the hard way 😀😀

abuhusna1:
If you dey live for london you go sharply till your wife to contribute. Imagine you earn 2000 pounds amd house rent for 2 beds is 1700 pounds without bills. So how are you gonna cope

, u dey waste ur energy on person wei never comot Naija , nobody go teach u before u carry pen and paper and call ur darling wife for sharing formula in obodo oyinbo,when u see car insurance ,mortgage bills, hydro bills, and groceries bills 😀😀

Kobojunkie:
Leadership my arse! 🙄🙄🙄

A leader serves his constituents, not one who thinks it is his place to command and direct them according to his whims. The vast majority of traditionalists seek authority, not leadership roles, in marriage. 🥱🥱🥱

2. Nonsense! Suggesting that all men are made leaders by virtue of being married is the most ludicrous thing I have ever heard in my entire life.🙄🙄🙄

It's a simple English.
Once you go out to struggle and bring back something for your children to eat. You're already leading wether you like it or not.
It's reality and reality doesn't care about your feminist view.

shoodboi2:
No truer words have been said: A man who splits his responsibility should be ready to split his authority. Bills are hard for a man, but that is what makes you a man. The woman should support, but not to the point where she is sharing bills 50/50 or carrying half of their responsibilities. It should not be so.

So what will the wife do with her own salary?

Gerrard59:
These beliefs are largely cultural, and I respect them.

My own is as the man spends the bulk of his money on the household, what exactly does the woman use her money for? The traditional model worked brilliantly as men formed the bulk of the labour class, both in blue and white collar jobs. However, with women carting away 50% of white collar jobs and encroaching on blue-collar jobs, it means there are fewer jobs to go round for men. It also means women earn very well, and in some cases, more than men.

So, what does she use that money for?

She save the money for herself and future husband when the current husband is dead due to stress and footing the bills alone all in the name of authority over his wife.

[quote author=Ponmoalata post=136951901]I'd fail my forefathers if all I did with my money was to sort bills.

We share bills so that both parties can have personal resources.

But the idea of using my resources to sort bills while you on the other hand, use your money to build wealth is nothing but madness.

Omo this one touch me o. "Me using my own to pay bill while she builds wealth with her own" later she go talk say she hustled by herself to be rich. Totally neglecting my sacrifices

Gotocourt:
You better do, to much disposable income in her hand will make her misbehave 🤷🏿

Kids provisions & clothing's, TV subscription, soup condiments, beverages, all those little stuffs that take money.

My brother no be lie

GanagiBitrus:
The man is the Bread Winner & so should foot the bills.

That doesn't mean the woman can not foot some of the bills, but it shouldn't be out of obligation or duty.

Who told you man is the bread winner?
Is it written in any Nigerian constitution?
Educate me please.

Don't tell me thats what our fire fathers did as you do not know how they lived and what motivated it.

Primitive mindset. Misogynistic mentality. Even God that called the woman a help meet, you think he doesn't know what he is doing. When you equate authority with money in a home, then you become afraid when your wife starts making lots of money because you think she will stop respecting you.

[quote author=SultanOfPuna post=136951857]As a Man, if splitting bills will weaken your authority. Then you clearly have No Authority

Authority is when a wife submit her paycheck to you.

What do you think pimps do??
They send girls to go find person knack
Then surrender the money to her love-vendor.

That is a level of power and authority that 12% men in this world posses. The rest are slaves to women.

Your fore fathers didn't have millions of naira in bank account. Yet they were able to command respect and authority.

Years of morden femles brainwashing men has made men to be slaves for women.

So when they split bills with their wife they feel uneasy.
They have been slaves of women for many years so it will take time for them to adjust.


When a woman says " A Real Man ....."
She means "A Real Slave"

These African people will never learn..

Imagine your authority or respect is directly tired to how much you are able to provide.. therefore poor men shouldn't be respected in their families.

What some men dont understand is that any woman who doesnt invest in the family or marriage can never value ir respect that marriage.

This is idea of i have to be the sole bread winner amongst Africans is the reason they die early, have no life apart from work, and continue to slave for the family. 2 good heads are better than 1, both husband and wife should work and contribute a quota to the family. Its more respectful .

tollyboy5:
It's a simple English.
Once you go out to struggle and bring back something for your children to eat. You're already leading wether you like it or not.
It's reality and reality doesn't care about your feminist view.

And all the millions of Nigerian women who go out to struggle everyday, some even tie their kids on their back has what?
Submission.

These are folks I share online space with.

Kobojunkie:
Women also like to have an inheritance prepared for their children, if nothing else.

The man already does this. Both parties do things for their children. If at least 90% of a man's earnings go towards the household (wife and children), where do the woman's earnings go towards? If "my money is mine, but your money is ours", what does she spend that her money on?

If he has the means to shoulder the bills, then so be it. There are men who do not split bills with their wives because they earn enough not to be bothered about her income. I only see a problem if he isn't earning enough but is crumbling under bills to prove he is the head. If he isn't complaining, then it is working for them.

Gerrard59:
➜The man already does this. Both parties do things for their children.
➜ If at least 90% of a man's earnings go towards the household (wife and children), where do the woman's earnings go towards?
➜ If "my money is mine, but your money is ours", what does she spend that her money on?

1. So, because you presume men do it, women shouldn't be equally able to do just that, too? Also, are you trying to get us to believe you are not aware that a great number of men die without leaving even a penny behind for their kids in Nigeria? '

By the way, not all men leave an inheritance for their kids. Studies in the U.S., for instance, show that about 54% of men plan to leave an inheritance for their kids, while about 42% of women intend to do so.

2. 90% of the woman's savings can go towards guaranteeing there is money left to spend after the man's demise or when the man is no longer able to provide. Those children are hers, and it is also in her best interest that she has money set aside to provide for them if and when the man is no longer able to.

3. Your money is yours if you insist on taking on the traditional role of head-of-household. It is not that complicated.

abbey621:
Then you're simply not exposed and would never survive in a country where the standard of living is very high. Marriage is indeed a partnership and your own definition of partnership get k-leg! The real definition of partnership is assisting one another, abroad 90% of households run on partnership, even the full time housewives are saving their husbands from daycare/nanny costs.

Beautifully captured. SAHMs are saving the family daycare cost. They are keeping the kids safe too. If we convert the numerous services she renders all through the day into paid jobs, you will see she should be a 6digit earner.

You don't command authority or respect by making all the decisions, what happens if you became disabled, unemployed or dead? You've just succeded in putting your wife and kids in a very desperate situation.......The world has moved beyond this myopic thinking, unless you're a real odogwu where money na water, you better believe marriage is indeed a partnership!

Even some notable rich men have wives who they work hand-in-hand with (partnership). I don't know why some men are always looking for subjects in the name of wife.

lolz , dont split the bill oo,just carry on alone . the same way you wont split the high blood pressure ,stroke or even death . be a man and carry it all alone

Chilipepper:
It was so strange– Nigerian man feels discomfort after attempting to share household bills with his wife for the first time.

eazzzy1:
He already failed his fore fathers if his wife is allowed to have money. Your fore fathers paid the bill and refuse women work to ensure dependency.

The way we put pressure on ourlawves for nothing. I don't why he is saying "fail forefathers' as if they have anything to do with anything. Forefathers' are long gone dead and buried....

lightwind:
Continue displaying your credit card to the world to see...no worry boys go use am cash out soon.

Just imagine where your mind go

Tell your wife what to do with her money and she will do it without questioning you thats shows your a leader and you have authority not splitting bills.

Mehnn ... So you dey pound0 your ma'am's age mate

Nawa... You get mind!

43Ronin:
Their husbands would learn the hard way in the afterlife. I am dating an oyigbo milf now in her very early 50s, she's a widow. Her husband did all the work & paid all the bills while he was alive. Completed mortgage payment on their house, already paid most of the med school fees for their only son & paid off their car loan only to die in his mid-fifties. Now all his suffering is for nothing. Won't see his son graduate next year as a doctor, worse off his ex-wife dey kerewa me everywhere for that house every week. So as a man if you work yourself to death, your wife will get herself a younger deek while mourning you

....another nonsense as usuaL.
Never ending Nonsense.
Until people start realizing that it's a situation of every Aboki with him Kettle.

I once managed a dredging firm where I was the top person in the field, but I was not the highest paid. In fact, I wasn't even given a weekly allowance. Being in charge means more than just handling financial matters. The times we live in have made it challenging for many of us with such a mindset of doing it all. Even if you take on all the responsibilities, they will still find fault if you have a difficult partner.

Since he took office, the finance minister mentioned that 5% of people have ₦500,000 in their bank accounts. Anyone can verify this; it's been reported in the newspapers. Given the state of the economy, how many good individuals can handle all the bills? It's time to wake up and face reality. If you are only working for financial stability, and you break down, your partner may still move on. I have seen women leave despite being well taken care of. Be responsible and prioritise your mental health.

Sonnobax15:

A compassionate and sensible wife wouldn't see anything wrong in splitting of bills,but as a way of supporting her husband.....

It's only those who want to pressure their husbands to death with bills that will leave all the family's responsibilities for the man alone, forgetting that rhe man himself is also a human being like herself

It is the job of a man to provide. Leave all this okoto meows you guys shalaye alot here.
A man is loved for the fact he can provide and take care of his family.

The sensible thing is, don't give your woman the wrong impression of 50M when you are in the grade of 1M. So that she can know when to help. Women are helpers/support system for men.

43Ronin:
Their husbands would learn the hard way in the afterlife. I am dating an oyigbo milf now in her very early 50s, she's a widow. Her husband did all the work & paid all the bills while he was alive. Completed mortgage payment on their house, already paid most of the med school fees for their only son & paid off their car loan only to die in his mid-fifties. Now all his suffering is for nothing. Won't see his son graduate next year as a doctor, worse off his ex-wife dey kerewa me everywhere for that house every week. So as a man if you work yourself to death, your wife will get herself a younger deek while mourning you

In his place, let anothr man take.

Tomorrow is not promised.

Munzy14:
It is the job of a man to provide. Leave all this okoto meows you guys shalaye alot here.
A man is loved for the fact he can provide and take care of his family.

The sensible thing is, don't give your woman the wrong impression of 50M when you are in the grade of 1M. So that she can know when to help. Women are helpers/support system for men.

. And should the man lost his job and stops providing,does that mean he wouldn't be loved the same way he was loved when he used to be the provider? . Some of una are the reasons you die young due to unnecessary pressure .

GanagiBitrus:
The man is the Bread Winner & so should foot the bills.

That doesn't mean the woman can not foot some of the bills, but it shouldn't be out of obligation or duty.

Are you aware that you just spoke from both sides of your mouth?

I totally agree with you bro. call me what you want but i am not splitting any bills with my wife. we manage whatever i can provide and if she needs extra she can do with her money without telling me.

AMUO NWOKE YA BURU NWOKE ...........

GanagiBitrus:
The man is the Bread Winner & so should foot the bills.

That doesn't mean the woman can not foot some of the bills, but it shouldn't be out of obligation or duty.

Who told you the man is ghe bread winner in today's world? This is how many men die out of depression when things don't finally go this way. Anyone can be the breadwinner, respecting and submission based on poverty eradication scheme (when the man gives ne money i will respect him and submit) is no respect at all because the moment the man fails to give (jobless)that's the end of the relationship.

The time men were the breadwinners is long gone, some women earn way nore than their husbands and that earning won't reflect on the standards if living if the household because meb are the breadwinners? So many men will die due to this attitude. Imagine the society making men feel bad for enjoying their wife's wealth because according to them the wife should only ve the one entitled to the man's wealth but the man shouldn't fir a day it is only when she decides if necessary . Some meb and ego