₦airaland Forum

What could make a man's family reject return of bride after their son ended the marriage? Even the ex husband asked for it to be returned but his father said he will never collect it and even refused after repeated attempts by the bride's family to return it?

MsJackson:
✓ What could make a man's family reject return of bride after their son ended the marriage? Even the ex husband asked for it to be returned but his father said he will never collect it and even refused after repeated attempts by the bride's family to return it?

No need returning bride price to a man who turned out to be a deadbeat husband and/or father to his own children.

Anyways, I don't see the point in the bride's family worrying themselves much in this day and age of such things. So, long as the marriage of was never registered in the courts, the two might as well have been living as baby-mama & baby-daddy all the while. If the man's family no wan collect back their bride price, it shouldn't stop her from moving on to legally marrying someone else out there. 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
No need returning bride price to a man who turned out to be a deadbeat husband and/or father to his own children.

Anyways, I don't see the point in the bride's family worrying themselves much in this day and age of such things. So, long as the marriage of was never registered in the courts, the two might as well have been living as baby-mama & baby-daddy all the while. If the man's family no wan collect back their bride price, it shouldn't stop her from moving on to legally marrying someone else out there. 🥱🥱🥱

oh the marriage was actually registered in court, but he brought fake divorce papers exactly 3 months after the separation, without any summons to the estranged wife. Now his family are refusing to collect the bride price. He said return the bride price, but his father said no. Hope the woman can move on without any consequences?

MsJackson:
➜oh the marriage was actually registered in court, but he brought fake divorce papers exactly 3 months after the separation, without any summons to the estranged wife.
➜ Now his family are refusing to collect the bride price. He said return the bride price, but his father said no. Hope the woman can move on without any consequences?

If the marriage is registered in the courts, then all she needs to concern herself with is filling out official divorce papers in the courts.

2. Has the woman officially filed for divorce? If yes, was she denied the divorce for some reason? I am trying to understand why it should matter whether his family accepts the returned bride price or not.

Kobojunkie:
If the marriage is registered in the courts, then all she needs to concern herself with is filling out official divorce papers in the courts.

2. Has the woman officially filed for divorce? If yes, was she denied the divorce for some reason? I am trying to understand why it should matter whether his family accepts the returned bride price or not.

no i haven't filed. He did the filing, though illegally. It's my story. His dad insists he still wants the union and reconciliation but his son is saying no. And I want to move on. I was just wondering what reasons could make the father reject the bride price. Anyways, I won't allow that deter me from moving on.

MsJackson:
➜no i haven't filed. He did the filing, though illegally. It's my story. His dad insists he still wants the union and reconciliation but his son is saying no. And I want to move on.
➜I was just wondering what reasons could make the father reject the bride price. Anyways, I won't allow that deter me from moving on.

1. Could you please explain what you mean when you say he illegally filed for divorce?

2. Marriage is a contract between a man and a woman. It does not matter the opinion of other parties in this, so long as the man and/or woman is no longer interested in the union.

3. It is likely a selfish reason, so I would suggest you not concern yourself too much with such things. Humans are notorious for doing anything to protect their interests, no matter who is involved. What matters is that this man does not want to be with you and probably dislikes you at this point in time. Your priority should be to distance yourself from him as soon as you can so you can begin focusing your energy on yourself and developing yourself.

So long as the union was registered in the court, nothing stops you, as the woman, from initiating the process towards gaining your freedom from the union. Do not make yourself some sort of kickball between a father and son whose disagreements should have nothing to do with you.

Kobojunkie:
1. Could you please explain what you mean when you say he illegally filed for divorce?

2. Marriage is a contract between a man and a woman. It does not matter the opinion of other parties in this, so long as the man and/or woman is no longer interested in the union.

3. It is likely a selfish reason, so I would suggest you not concern yourself too much with such things. Humans are notorious for doing anything to protect their interests, no matter who is involved. What matters is that this man does not want to be with you and probably dislikes you at this point in time. Your priority should be to distance yourself from him as soon as you can so you can begin focusing your energy on yourself and developing yourself.

So long as the union was registered in the court, nothing stops you, as the woman, from initiating the process towards gaining your freedom from the union. Do not make yourself some sort of kickball between a father and son whose disagreements should have nothing to do with you.

I agree. I've made up my mind. By illegally filing, I mean that we were separated for only two to three months before he brought divorce papers of dissolution of the marriage without me being served any court summons, everything happened without my knowledge. But regardless, I'm gone from there.

MsJackson:
➜ I agree. I've made up my mind. By illegally filing, I mean that we were separated for only two to three months before he brought divorce papers of dissolution of the marriage without me being served any court summons, everything happened without my knowledge. But regardless, I'm gone from there.

Just to be safe, I suggest you legally file for divorce from him so you are completely cut off from him, since you said your marriage was registered. The last thing you want is for this man to be able to come back, in the future, to claim your property as his, because being married to someone means that everything you have, particularly for the woman, technically belongs to the man, too.

Kobojunkie:
Just to be safe, I suggest you legally file for divorce from him so you are completely cut off from him, since you said your marriage was registered. The last thing you want is for this man to be able to come back, in the future, to claim your property as his, because being married to someone means that everything you have, particularly for the woman, technically belongs to the man, too.

wow I wasn't aware of this. Thanks! Will do the needful

MsJackson:
no i haven't filed. He did the filing, though illegally. It's my story. His dad insists he still wants the union and reconciliation but his son is saying no. And I want to move on. I was just wondering what reasons could make the father reject the bride price. Anyways, I won't allow that deter me from moving on.

I think you can go and ahead and file in court, even if they reject the bride price. His father had plenty of time to keep talking to his own son, if he wanted a reconciliation. But I believe from your previous threads, most of his family seemed to be in support of their son's divorce from you and were attending church with his side piece (as Bigamy is not allowed, that's what she is until you guys legally end the marriage).

So ask your relatives to tell your ex-FiL that he should have insisted that he wanted a reconciliation to HIS SON since and he should accept his son's decision to end the marriage, you're just obeying that directive. Papa should also be aware that his son has a child with the new woman and that being in a polygamous setting is not acceptable to you.

A lot of times, this happens and the man's parent (usually the father, as the mother is too busy supporting her son) will do this. They're safeguarding their interests because they've seen plenty cases where a man is deeply infatuated and destroys his marriage, only to regret it later. So the trick is to keep the wife on ground until their son's eye hopefully clears.

And it will definitely clear o, but it doesn't mean he will come back to you. A lot of times, people prefer to accept the consequences of their actions due to pride and fear.

If they had truly not supported their son, he would have been rebellious but he won't have gone this far.

Onegai:
I think you can go and ahead and file in court, even if they reject the bride price. His father had plenty of time to keep talking to his own son, if he wanted a reconciliation. But I believe from your previous threads, most of his family seemed to be in support of their son's divorce from you and were attending church with his side piece (as Bigamy is not allowed, that's what she is until you guys legally end the marriage).

So ask your relatives to tell your ex-FiL that he should have insisted that he wanted a reconciliation to HIS SON since and he should accept his son's decision to end the marriage, you're just obeying that directive. Papa should also be aware that his son has a child with the new woman and that being in a polygamous setting is not acceptable to you.

A lot of times, this happens and the man's parent (usually the father, as the mother is too busy supporting her son) will do this. They're safeguarding their interests because they've seen plenty cases where a man is deeply infatuated and destroys his marriage, only to regret it later. So the trick is to keep the wife on ground until their son's eye hopefully clears.

And it will definitely clear o, but it doesn't mean he will come back to you. A lot of times, people prefer to accept the consequences of their actions due to pride and fear.

If they had truly not supported their son, he would have been rebellious but he won't have gone this far.

yeah I thought so too. Father still wanted the marriage but didn't make any major reconciliation moves in two years we were separated. I believe he's pretending so that he won't be blamed for the marriage failure. He even denied knowing about the new wife and child. Not possible. I will file for the divorce, saving towards it. But one thing I know for sure, I'm not waiting for anybody. When I am fully ready to make major moves maritally, no jupiter will stop me, whether the bride price is returned or not. But first, I will divorce him. Thanks to all of you who advised me during the course of this sad journey. I am better and stronger now for real.

Thank you Onegai.
I was already about to type that if her FIL still wanted the marriage, what did he do all these years. Were they not same people that chased her out when she went to lay a complaint or didn't they see their son with a new woman?

My sister don't allow them stress you. This is not even a case of petty family issue. This was the s-abuse of your child and they trivialised it that way without giving you any closure or support. So allow him be with the other woman. Truly they love to keep the first wife close and it doesn't mean he loves you. But the shenanigans with a second wife thrives on the pains/presence of the first. When the first wife leaves, the reality of a Nigerian marriage hits her and you will notice the display of love begins to die a natural death.

pocohantas:
Thank you Onegai.
I was already about to type that if her FIL still wanted the marriage, what did he do all these years. Were they not same people that chased her out when she went to lay a complaint or didn't they see their son with a new woman?

My sister don't allow them stress you. This is not even a case of petty family issue. This was the s-abuse of your child and they trivialised it that way without giving you any closure or support. So allow him be with the other woman. Truly they love to keep the first wife close and it doesn't mean he loves you. But the shenanigans with a second wife thrives on the pains/presence of the first. When the first wife leaves, the reality of a Nigerian marriage hits her and you will notice the display of love begins to die a natural death.

yes it all started with the s-abuse of my 4 year old. They believed I would choose believing dem over my child. The marriage can go to hell and remain there, I don't care anymore.

MsJackson:
yes it all started with the s-abuse of my 4 year old. They believed I would choose believing dem over my child. The marriage can go to hell and remain there, I don't care anymore.

I need you to please understand that your pain and anger, whilst thoroughly justifiable, is not helping you. Please forgive your ex and his family. Every day, start your day with prayer and then end it with "Lord, give me the strength to forgive that man, those people and move on".

You don't want to be bitter about things. Save your emotions for rebuilding your life, making your life beautiful in the eyes of the Lord. Work on yourself, smooth out kinks in your character, focus on peace.

It is expensive to file in court so saving up for that will take time.

You're not the one to return the bride price though, your family should be the one doing that.

As for your FiL not knowing about the new woman and child, it may be true: I know a case where the MiL hid the fact that another woman had moved into the son's house, for a good 8 months, from his own father, who was working towards reconciliation. She was constantly undermining his efforts towards reconciliation, letting issues get bad in secrecy, then bringing it to his dad when it had blown up.

It's why people always say that when marital issues start, the problem is usually the husband's mother.

Now that Papa knows what his son is up to, he should go and face the badly-behaved child he raised and all the enablers around him.

MsJackson:
yes it all started with the s-abuse of my 4 year old. They believed I would choose believing dem over my child. The marriage can go to hell and remain there, I don't care anymore.

Wow ..I did not even realize a child existed.Did you at least ensure the abuser was reported to the police? Even if it turns out to be nothing in the end, having that record means a lot.

Onegai:
I need you to please understand that your pain and anger, whilst thoroughly justifiable, is not helping you. Please forgive your ex and his family. Every day, start your day with prayer and then end it with "Lord, give me the strength to forgive that man, those people and move on".

You don't want to be bitter about things. Save your emotions for rebuilding your life, making your life beautiful in the eyes of the Lord. Work on yourself, smooth out kinks in your character, focus on peace.

It is expensive to file in court so saving up for that will take time.

You're not the one to return the bride price though, your family should be the one doing that.

As for your FiL not knowing about the new woman and child, it may be true: I know a case where the MiL hid the fact that another woman had moved into the son's house, for a good 8 months, from his own father, who was working towards reconciliation. She was constantly undermining his efforts towards reconciliation, letting issues get bad in secrecy, then bringing it to his dad when it had blown up.

It's why people always say that when marital issues start, the problem is usually the husband's mother.

Now that Papa knows what his son is up to, he should go and face the badly-behaved child he raised and all the enablers around him.

it's okay I've heard you. Though I didn't return the BP, my family did. It's okay. Thank you ma'am.

Kobojunkie:
Wow ..I did not even realize a child existed.Did you at least ensure the abuser was reported to the police? Even if it turns out to be nothing in the end, having that record means a lot.

yes my child is involved. I did not report it at the time it happened, thinking it would be resolved within the family, because it was their 15 year old daughter that abused my baby. I wish I did. And no evidence because it was their word against my baby's. It's okay. It's all on my profile.

MsJackson:
✓yes my child is involved. I did not report it at the time it happened, thinking it would be resolved within the family, because it was their 15 year old daughter that abused my baby. I wish I did. And no evidence because it was their word against my baby's. It's okay. It's all on my profile.

I think I remember your story now. Please leave that family and the drama behind already so you can focus on your future. Also, do not forget to file for child support from the child'd father since even tradition obligates he at least provides for his own offspring (even though tradition fails woefully when it comes to implementing even such common sense statutes).

Kobojunkie:
I think I remember your story now. Please leave that family and the drama behind already so you can focus on your future. Also, do not forget to file for child support from the child'd father since even tradition obligates he at least provides for his own offspring (even though tradition fails woefully when it comes to implementing even such common sense statutes).

okay

Msjackson, your baby will always be proud of you for believing, and standing up for her.
She will never forget.

After you're done doing what you have to do, take your child and relocate to a place where they cannot monitor you, so that you can heal and start your life afresh.
Also, resist the urge to stalk them on social media.
Doing that will be like peeling the wound open over and over.
Just keep looking and moving forward.

Believe me, GOD has a way of restoring what you lost, in such a way that what happened will no longer matter.
Give all your hurt to GOD, let GOD soothe you.

Mariangeles:
Msjackson, your baby will always be proud of you for believing, and standing up for her.
She will never forget.

After you're done doing what you have to do, take your child and relocate to a place where they cannot monitor you, so that you can heal and start your life afresh.
Also, resist the urge to stalk them on social media.
Doing that will be like peeling the wound open over and over.
Just keep looking and moving forward.

Believe me, GOD has a way of restoring what you lost, in such a way that what happened will no longer matter.
Give all your hurt to GOD, let GOD soothe you.

Thank you so much ma'am for your encouraging words!

MsJackson:
yeah I thought so too. Father still wanted the marriage but didn't make any major reconciliation moves in two years we were separated. I believe he's pretending so that he won't be blamed for the marriage failure. He even denied knowing about the new wife and child. Not possible. I will file for the divorce, saving towards it. But one thing I know for sure, I'm not waiting for anybody. When I am fully ready to make major moves maritally, no jupiter will stop me, whether the bride price is returned or not. But first, I will divorce him. Thanks to all of you who advised me during the course of this sad journey. I am better and stronger now for real.

If the father refuses to collect the bride price, go the the traditional ruler in his hometown and drop it there for them. They will summon the family to come and carry their tin. Marriage is not by force. Awon oloshi oloriburuku destiny wasters.

When you're properly ready, file for divorce from your werey ex since you married under the Act, but be prepared; divorce proceedings are usually long and expensive, and sometimes traumatising because old woulds will be reopened, nasty memories, revisited. I really wish you God's grace and strength.

Ishilove:
If the father refuses to collect the bride price, go the the traditional ruler in his hometown and drop it there for them. They will summon the family to come and carry their tin. Marriage is not by force. Awon olosho oloriburuku destiny wasters.

When you're properly ready, file for divorce from your werey ex since you married under the Act, but be prepared; divorce proceedings are usually long and expensive, and sometimes traumatising because old woulds will be reopened, nasty memories, revisited. I really wish you God's grace and strength.

Why not allow people who've had marital experience advise her? In fact, I'm withholding my advice to her now because of you.

Cho cho cho!

MsJackson:
Thank you so much ma'am for your encouraging words!

Are you on WhatsApp?
If you are, can you put your number on your signature? I want to talk to you.

Mariangeles:
Are you on WhatsApp?
If you are, can you put your number on your signature? I want to talk to you.

See Mariah and muscle flexing.

Mariangeles:
Are you on WhatsApp?
If you are, can you put your number on your signature? I want to talk to you.

I don't know how to do that. You can send me an email

Ishilove:
If the father refuses to collect the bride price, go the the traditional ruler in his hometown and drop it there for them. They will summon the family to come and carry their tin. Marriage is not by force. Awon olosho oloriburuku destiny wasters.

When you're properly ready, file for divorce from your werey ex since you married under the Act, but be prepared; divorce proceedings are usually long and expensive, and sometimes traumatising because old woulds will be reopened, nasty memories, revisited. I really wish you God's grace and strength.

it is well oooooo

AbosedeFalade:
See Mariah and muscle flexing.

You are a male.

MsJackson:
I don't know how to do that. You can send me an email on ejirodetermined01@gmail.com

Seen.

Mariangeles:
You are a male.

No, I'm not. Are you jealous of my beauty?