₦airaland Forum

You have a young adult family of four children.. your daughter of about 22years got pregnant and brings it home...

As a father of the house what is your next line of action..?

A 22 year old graduate what

bigpicture001:
.. you have a young adult family of four children.. your daughter of about 22years got pregnant and brings it home...
As a father of the house what is your next line of action..?

Reprimand her, get to know the stupid guy that put her in the family way... After raising hell up and down, I will calm down, take care of my daughter to ensure she delivers the baby safely.
Afterwhich, I will ensure she gets back to the plan of building her life back on track and never allowing herself to be a mumu again.

bigpicture001:
.. you have a young adult family of four children.. your daughter of about 22years got pregnant and brings it home...
As a father of the house what is your next line of action..?

Reprimand her, get to know the stupid guy that put her in the family way... After raising hell up and down, I will calm down, take care of my daughter to ensure she delivers the baby safely.
Afterwhich, I will ensure she gets back to the plan of building her life back on track and never allowing herself to be a mumu again.[quote][/quote]

dawnomike:
Reprimand her, get to know the stupid guy that put her in the family way... After raising hell up and down, I will calm down, take care of my daughter to ensure she delivers the baby safely.
Afterwhich, I will ensure she gets back to the plan of building her life back on track and never allowing herself to be a mumu again.

What about her child

A 22 year adult is old enough to make her own decisions...

And to take responsibility and consequences of whatever follows from her decisions!

From eighteen, that’s an adult. She’s free to do her thing. At sixteen years of age, what else can one do? I can only give an honest reaction if such happens. I don’t have a daughter, I can’t envision the situation.

I would ask her who the father is. Regardless of the answer, I would tell her to get her baby and go camp with the guy who impregnated her. As father, you must warn your daughters early on to avoid unwanted pregnancy or at aleast make sure they get pregnant for a guy who is capable and willing to house and take care of them and their kids.

If you get pregnant for a guy, you are leaving my house to go stay with him and I won't be responsible for you and your child. If the guy happens to be a bum or one irresponsible bad boy who wants nothing to do with you and your child, tough luck and go fend for yourself.

bigpicture001:
What about her child

The baby is ours!!!

dawnomike:
Reprimand her, get to know the stupid guy that put her in the family way... After raising hell up and down, I will calm down, take care of my daughter to ensure she delivers the baby safely.
Afterwhich, I will ensure she gets back to the plan of building her life back on track and never allowing herself to be a mumu again.

Both did it. Why single out the guy and term stupid. No be she open legs without protection.?

dawnomike:
The baby is ours!!!

HV u thought about the limited resources u hv to train ur remaining 3 children will now b used on 5 children....

Dnt u think it will breed poverty..?

bigpicture001:
.✓ you have a young adult family of four children.. your daughter of about 22years got pregnant and brings it home...As a father of the house what is your next line of action..?

⚉ Is the gal working? If yes, let her know that she would need to begin paying rent or at least handling some bills to remain in the house(make sure it is not too cheap for her), in addition to providing for her child. Let her start seriously earning her keep in the household.
⚉ If she is not working, inform her that since she has decided to take on adult burdens of her own, she must also begin earning her keep while staying under your roof.
⚉ As for the father of the child, locate him immediately and ensure your daughter files in the courts to have him pay his share of the child's upkeep.
⚉ Better yet, demand that your child share custody of the baby with the father of the baby instead, so that she, too, can work on her own life while caring part-time for her child. If she can get two weeks on and two weeks off, that might work out for her, too. The father of the child should not go Scott free.

bigpicture001:
✓ What about her child

The baby is your grandchild and your blood. You should do all you can to protect it by ensuring, if possible, that both the father and mother raise it properly and with love. I am not suggesting you force them into marriage. Rather, you can help them work out a court-sanctioned schedule that includes the child in both their lives—not just your daughter's life.

Again, if both your daughter and the boy who impregnated her have court-approved shared/joint custody, then they will both need to spare time to take care of the child. Instead of having just the one person --- your daughter, most likely -- having to sacrifice all of her life and dreams to raise the child.

bigpicture001:
✓ HV u thought about the limited resources u hv to train ur remaining 3 children will now b used on 5 children....
Dnt u think it will breed poverty..?

Your 22-year-old needs to go out and hustle to raise that child. The father of that child also needs to hustle to raise that child too, assuming he is a jobless boy somewhere. If he is not, then he should either be paying child support or having to take care of the child at least 2 weeks out of each month. The first should be the better option both for your daughter's sake and the baby's. This agreement should be formalized to ensure the man is unable to drop the child off with relatives when it is his turn to care for it. .

Martinez39s:
✓ I would ask her who the father is. Regardless of the answer, I would tell her to get her baby and go camp with the guy who impregnated her. As father, you must warn your daughters early on to avoid unwanted pregnancy or at aleast make sure they get pregnant for a guy who is capable and willing to house and take care of them and their kids.
If you get pregnant for a guy, you are leaving my house to go stay with him and I won't be responsible for you and your child. If the guy happens to be a bum or one irresponsible bad boy who wants nothing to do with you and your child, tough luck and go fend for yourself.

Like this formula has ever worked out, the many millions of times it has been rebooted before now. All you do by foisting your daughter on the same person who didn't think before impregnating her is increase the chances of her ruin and that of your grandchildren, too.

We need to start thinking with that brain we claim to have. 🥱🥱

Sorry we don't do that in my family.

brain54:
✓ A 22 year adult is old enough to make her own decisions...
And to take responsibility and consequences of whatever follows from her decisions!

The same way you have to abide by the tems and conditions set by your landlord is the same way OP can go about imposing terms and conditions on her while she lives under his roof.

I will assume the man is dead and raise and my daughter and her baby (my grandchild).

The backlash she will receive from me and society is enough punishment for her, but one thing I will never do is to deny her provision, protection, and be that rock she needs at this trying time.

Take a lesson from the biblical story of ''the prodigal son''. The son went astray, messed up, waste his resources, and came back to the father, and he was kind enough to put him back on track.

It is time like this you have to show that she is your beloved daughter. Also, it is your action as a father that will make the baby father do the right thing. If the baby father see that you treated your daughter like trash, then he will see her as trash.

If you throw your daughter outside, you are throwing her to the wolves and such actions have given them the permission to pounce on her like a rabbit.

Most importantly, I have a responsibility to my grandchild. Because my daughter messed up does not mean `i will forsake my grandchild.

Maybe this is not a good example, but lots of immigrants who have no way to get their papers will impregnate anything just to have a child. Because they know that their sins will be forgiven, and their permit will be issued for the sake of the child.

The government will rather allow an illegal alien stay, just to protect the interest of the child. It is the same dynamic at play if it is my daughter.

I will shout at her, punish her, but throwing her out is NEVER in the menu. Otherwise, you will create a monster in your daughter and your grandchild, that will hunt you later, and you will probably cant escape their wrath.

pansophist:
I will assume the man is dead and raise and my daughter and her baby (my grandchild).

The backlash she will receive from me and society is enough punishment for her, but one thing I will never do is to deny her provision, protection, and be that rock she needs at this trying time.

Take a lesson from the biblical story of ''the prodigal son''. The son went astray, messed up, waste his resources, and came back to the father, and he was kind enough to put him back on track.

It is time like this you have to show that she is your beloved daughter. Also, it is your action as a father that will make the baby father do the right thing. If the baby father see that you treated your daughter like trash, then he will see her as trash.

If you throw your daughter outside, you are throwing her to the wolves and such actions have given them the permission to pounce on her like a rabbit.

Most importantly, I have a responsibility to my grandchild. Because my daughter messed up does not mean `i will forsake my grandchild.

Maybe this is not a good example, but lots of immigrants who have no way to get their papers will impregnate anything just to have a child. Because they know that their sins will be forgiven, and their permit will be issued for the sake of the child.

The government will rather allow an illegal alien stay, just to protect the interest of the child. It is the same dynamic at play if it is my daughter.

I will shout at her, punish her, but throwing her out is NEVER in the menu. Otherwise, you will create a monster in your daughter and your grandchild, that will hunt you later, and you will probably cant escape their wrath.

U say this with Somme. Assumptions.. e. G

That ur resources are unlimited.

That the guy involved ran away

U also assumed that sibling love is as strong as mother to child love...

Read what happened in my area..

This same scenerio played out on my street in a family with limited resources..

The family continue to do like u well listed to do..

After the father's second child was ready for varsity, the family has no provision to fund the second child varsity.. about 150k for acceptance..... It always clash with when the two kids needs to pay private skl feez....

The boi continue to wait for money to b enough... And then started to work in a factory that support himself.. everyone hailed him as hardworking...

Do u know like play like play.. he stayed 7 years waiting.. he gained admissions 3x.

His direct parents continue to be good grandfather. Like u narrated.. as time Passed.. his Dad lost his job.. and couldn't find any... Aside that, age was fast catching up

That eldest sister which gave birth and who the Dad continued to train has now graduated and got a job at the bank...

Sh continue to reluctantly fund the family and blatantly refused to train her brother in skl with excuse that he is training her son in expensive skl and equally helping out the family...

At that stage the child is at jss2...


Long story short.. that brother never went again to skl..

Know it as a father, ur first priority should be the child you birth and never the child of ur daughter...

Never ever assume that a siblings love is as strong as love btw mother and child..

No matter the bond of siblings.. the female child, will always prefer her child over her siblings...


Men b wise!!!!

bigpicture001:
➜HV u thought about the limited resources u hv to train ur remaining 3 children will now b used on 5 children.... Dnt u think it will breed poverty..?

The resources to raise the child have to come from the girl and the father of the child. They are both old enough to make children, so they should both be responsible for the well-being of that child themselves.
Grandparents(on both sides)can contribute now and then, but the bulk of the burden should be placed on both the man and woman who conceived said child.

Kobojunkie:
Like this formula has ever worked out the many millions of times it has been rebooted at this point in time. All you do by foisting your daughter on the same person who didn't think before impregnating her is increasing the chances of her ruin and that of your grandchildren.

We need to start the thinking with that brain we claim to have. 🥱🥱

Smh. Actions have consequences, and I'm big on that. If I repeatedly warned you against something and told you the actions I would take if you disobeyed, then you only have yourself to blame if you disobey. If you get ruined, then it is all you.

Martinez39s:
➜Smh. Actions have consequences, and I'm big on that. If I repeatedly warned you against something and told you the actions I would take if you disobeyed, then you only have yourself to blame if you disobey. If you get ruined, then it is all you.

Not insinuating that actions should not have consequences. Rather, I am insisting that we not keep replaying the same failed formulas of the past, expecting new results each time we do.

I no go kill her o but I no go give any support.
There are options of places to stay but not under my roof

bigpicture001:
You have a young adult family of four children.. your daughter of about 22years got pregnant and brings it home...

As a father of the house what is your next line of action..?

She's now independent
Ready to start a family. ...release her n let the man that put her in the family way continue from there

I will simply react like the newest grandfather in town

Nothing you can do at that point than to ask who is responsible.

If is cultured and responsible lad, meet with family and know way forward.

If it’s a NURTW member or Yahoo boy, no need meeting with the family. Just take full responsibility and forget of the child has a father.

Kobojunkie:
Not insinuating that actions should not have consequences. Rather, I am insisting that we not keep replaying the same failed formulas of the past, expecting new results each time we do.

It is not a failed formula because I am not expecting any result. It is just a matter of principle: if you get pregnant, you must go be with the child's father. If the child's father accepts you and the child and steps up to his fatherly responsibility, fine; if he doesn't, still don't come back.

What new results am I expecting? Result ke?

I go put everything for God hand,pray for her and wish her save delivery...na God they give pikin...

A pastor had 5 daughters, 4 where wild and free and 1 was quiet and gentle. However as it would be and most shocking to everyone it was the quiet daughter who came home with a pregnancy. The wild ones all got married before any pregnancy.

All the pastor did was keep everything on the low and made sure she gave birth safely and after that sent her back to skol finish her education.

To born girl now na problem.
Iree oo

Kobojunkie:
Is the gal working? If yes, let her know that she would need to begin paying rent or at least handling some bills to remain in the house(make sure it is not too cheap for her), in addition to providing for her child.
If she is not working, inform her that since she has decided to become an adult and decided to take ok adult burdens of her own, she must begin to earn her keep.
⚉ As for the father of the child, locate him immediately and ensure your daughter files in the courts to have him pay his share of the child's upkeep.
⚉ Better yet, demand that your child share custody of the baby with the father of the baby instead, so that she, too, can work on her own life while caring part-time for her child. If she can get two weeks on and two weeks off, that might work out for her, too. The father of the child should not go Scott free.

The only thing i will align with you for now

A22 year old is good to go . And one more thing ,
SAY NO TO ABORTION .