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When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? (30363 Views)

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When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Dainy1(m): 12:35pm On Jun 14, 2020
What is the actual time? Immediately you met? Weeks, months after you met? Before you establish a relationship with him/her? When is the appropriate time that he/she will not get hurt nor walk away especially if they both met and love immediately?

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Ningen(m): 12:46pm On Jun 14, 2020
Before or immediately after first coitus.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by dingbang(m): 12:49pm On Jun 14, 2020
If I were the guy you are seeing, I'd appreciate you tell me at the onset. Left for me to decide whether or not to continue

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Freestainworld(m): 12:53pm On Jun 14, 2020
the earlier the better, no time to waste

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Nephilim: 12:58pm On Jun 14, 2020
You have a child, I'm off like a speed of light lolz

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Hathor5(f): 1:22pm On Jun 14, 2020
IMMEDIATELY

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Dainy1(m): 1:31pm On Jun 14, 2020
Freestainworld:
the earlier the better, no time to waste
You mean once you met her maybe in ShopRite, you go ahead to introduce yourself and immediately include you're a father or mother of one?

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Dainy1(m): 1:32pm On Jun 14, 2020
Hathor5:
IMMEDIATELY
Immediately. As soon as you met or you're get to know him for a while?

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Dainy1(m): 1:33pm On Jun 14, 2020
Nephilim:
You have a child, I'm off like a speed of light lolz
You see? What if she turn out to be a nice person and you never get to discover because she told you immediately you met?

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Hathor5(f): 1:34pm On Jun 14, 2020
Dainy1:
Immediately. As soon as you met or you're get to know him for a while?

As soon as you meet. I have seen a friend do it once when we were younger. She already had a child. We went out, two guys approached us in a bar and we started talking. She mentioned her son in the first 5 or 10 minutes of the conversation. Proudly. cool I was thinking to myself that this is how it is supposed to be. What is the point of hiding your child or withholding the information? To what end? For how long?

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Danielomisco(m): 1:38pm On Jun 14, 2020
Some1 said after coitus lol

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Nephilim: 1:40pm On Jun 14, 2020
Dainy1:
You see? What if she turn out to be a nice person and you never get to discover because she told you immediately you met?
I understand but I can't deal with it even if she hid it for me, I'll know. I had ladies like that but when I discovered I slided away from them. Yea they nice and whatever but nah I can't and I won't. The only exception is if she got pregnant for me b4 I know but I'll always know b4 that! The signs are everywhere lolz.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by dingbang(m): 1:47pm On Jun 14, 2020
Dainy1:
what's your definition of this onset?
first date.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by LewsTherin: 4:03pm On Jun 14, 2020
Hang on, what's a first date supposed to be about? Isn't that where you both introduce yourselves? Tell each other the basics about yourselves? Is having a child from a previous relationship (or even still being in a previous relationship grin) not a basic fact about yourself your new relationship should know about?

Except you choose to be deceptive. Then in the long run, you shouldn't complain about what happens.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Myway20: 4:28pm On Jun 14, 2020
At the very first date!

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Freestainworld(m): 4:37pm On Jun 14, 2020
Dainy1:
You mean once you met her maybe in ShopRite, you go ahead to introduce yourself and immediately include you're a father or mother of one?
read the op's post, he has known her for awhile, so he needs to speak his mind now that the opportunity is still there.
Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by BrandAlliances: 10:00pm On Jun 17, 2020
when they say they can't live without you naaa....

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by cnwamo(m): 10:00pm On Jun 17, 2020
At the start

That’s a deal breaker for a lot of people and should be revealed on the first date or first heart to heart conversation.

My 2 cents.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Hndrrxxx(m): 10:00pm On Jun 17, 2020
Immediately
You should go like ; I have a son his name is Fitz and he's a 5th grader
See how he will respect and cherish you for that shocked shocked

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by saajus: 10:00pm On Jun 17, 2020
As early as possible to avoid wasting time. It's not a big deal to some people, it's a big deal to some people.

Not the first date though except if you talk along the line and the question pop up.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by Zeinymira(f): 10:01pm On Jun 17, 2020
Right from the first date I guess. I believe it should be sooner rather than later, before things get deep. You might just tell him when you get to the "tell me more about yourself" part. It's simple, just say your name is Amina and you are a single mom. It helps to weed out partners that aren't serious about you or guys who can't handle it.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by hahn(m): 10:01pm On Jun 17, 2020
Dainy1:
what's your definition of this onset?

Him: Hello

Her: Hi, I have two children from 4 different men

19 Likes 1 Share

Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by BeautifulWoman(f): 10:01pm On Jun 17, 2020
DON'T TELL HIM until he proposes. No man is worth knowing about your personal life unless they are willing to spend their lives with you.

The best time to tell him is the day he pops the question(proposes). The moment he does, don't say yes yet but tearfully tell him you don't deserve him or a good man like him. He will be curious and ask why. That is when you tell him. At that point, he will be sober and trying his best to show you he loves you regardless.

UPDATE: I woke up to lots of criticism as replies and I really do appreciate them all. I thought hard about your comments and I agree I was wrong all along. Thank you for changing my perceptions on 'telling all'. Nairaland is transformative if only one can absorb the jabs but take in the message. Thank you.

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by SimplePlan34: 10:01pm On Jun 17, 2020
Immediately things get serious

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by visiondee(m): 10:01pm On Jun 17, 2020
I will advice you to let him or her know ASAP, if not first meeting, please let the supposed admirer know during your second date, don't let any form of sex related thing even kiss to occur before you say it, never you be afraid of fear of losing supposed MR or MRS right, if he or she can't accept you for who you are, please run because there's nothing RIGHT there, also, pay close attention to the so called person even when he or she tells you no problem, see the reaction towards the child and if the so called is painting the child to the picture of both of you, if not, the pesin na chop and go. Let him or her know if there is any form of communication or not between the baby daddy because that will enable the person to know if he's making the child fully or partially his or hers' and mind you, never should you allow your past rule your present, I mean bring the bitterness or what you've passed through into the new found relationship, because that will surely determine the future. And again, put this at the back of your mind, be independent in the child upbringing, especially material things, don't ever force him or her to take the responsibility, let it come freely from the mind of your new spouse, let him or her make the conviction of I'm having the mother/father and the child as mine, once that can be done, you will see the magic of how strong the bond will be even flowing to the children you will later have. Please always put yourself in the new spouse's shoe if you are him or her, what will always be your feeling? Try never to make any difference in terms of showing the baby by action or word that he or she is not the real dad or mom. And above all, respect the new relationship, live and enjoy your life to the fullest responsibly, don't be desperate, don't judge by look (it might be deceitful), and NEVER LET YOUR PAST MISTAKE OR WHATSOEVER REPEAT ITSELF. You know yourself more... Thank you


please I sell vehicles... patronise me today #IamVisiondee

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by BCISLTD: 10:02pm On Jun 17, 2020
Never

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Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by MrOjay1(m): 10:02pm On Jun 17, 2020
Let him/her know of the child when you both are about kick-starting the relationship.

1 Like

Re: When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship? by kyuniii(m): 10:02pm On Jun 17, 2020
Now

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