₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
Why though Ahnie?

Why do you do you want to waste a lifetime gathering receipts and bitterness just to deal with a man at old age.

No man is worth wasting your life for because to deal with him, you need to focus on him and keep maintaining the embers of bitterness to have the energy and reason to revenge.

Sis, this life is too sweet for that kind of nonsense.

I know buka,everyone has how they operate,i love gathering receipts so when i m dealing with that person,my conscience would be dead.

However i would still focus my time and energy on something productive,my kind of revenge is extra cold.

bukatyne:
@bold:

Not necessarily true.

Karma comes in different forms, my sister. Nobody deserving can escape it.

Caaz:
I know buka,everyone has how they operate,i love gathering receipts so when i m dealing with that person,my conscience would be dead.

However i would still focus my time and energy on something productive,my kind of revenge is extra cold.

@ bold:

Ok then.

Ishilove:
Karma comes in different forms, my sister. Nobody deserving can escape it.

Considering our politicians are still doing fine, I don't put much stock in karma.

The side chic might at the point of marriage repent and marry well.

bukatyne:
✓ That's what we have been used to. What our mothers passed down to us. We need to break that senseless cycle of wasting one's life to revenge.

Why? Because your mother's raised you to become and do things are they did -- mistakes and all? Come on now! This ain't no more about the mothers and grandmothers but about a generation that supposedly refused or even failed to learn from those before it. How can a human being, in the year 2025, believe that marriage is do-or-die? How can a woman live her life serving the whims and glory-- had to use that typical religious jargon there -- of the same man for whom she holds animosity towards? That kain foolishness, dem no dey buy am for market.

madridguy:
The man is the head of the family. During our fore fathers era, even their wives will fetch water for their husband's mistress to bath after the match.

They cooked for her and entertain her. They treat them as guest because men are allowed to take as many wives they want.

Yeah. And this is why we are feminists now, to avoid the abuse of pork!

bukatyne:
Why though Ahnie?

Why do you do you want to waste a lifetime gathering receipts and bitterness just to deal with a man at old age.

No man is worth wasting your life for because to deal with him, you need to focus on him and keep maintaining the embers of bitterness to have the energy and reason to revenge.

Sis, this life is too sweet for that kind of nonsense.

success is the best revenge

GloriousGbola:
success is the best revenge

Yes, it is.

Caaz:
I know buka,everyone has how they operate,i love gathering receipts so when i m dealing with that person,my conscience would be dead.

However i would still focus my time and energy on something productive,my kind of revenge is extra cold.

E be like say now sef your husband dey show u shege.

So right now you don start gather receipts

bukatyne:
Considering our politicians are still doing fine, I don't put much stock in karma.

The side chic might at the point of marriage repent and marry well.

Here's the thing about karma:

Most of us on the outside will not see it.

That's why people don't believe in it. But it's real, even biblically, every religion states it, it's even scientific. You reap what you sow.

If you've ever screwed up and hurt someone, you paid for it somehow. And most likely how you paid wouldn't look related to what you did. And it won't show to the outside world either, when I got my karma for hurting my ex-bf, it was like a series of screwups that kept snowballing till I ended up in a bad place, 2-3 yrs later. But you won't have guessed from any picture I posted online during that period.

A lot of politicians have very messed up private lives or are battling something very bad personally. You're not going to see it unless you're in their private circles.

A lot of women I know who were secretaries to rich men and then 'upgraded" to 2nd wives, most didn't enjoy that marriage or there was an issue with their kids. I met these people when they had turned 45+, 55+, 65+ till death, you would have been surprised to hear that the husband beside them hated his 1st wife so much and chased her away for these 2nd wives. And at least one of their children had k-leg in their lives.

God has always promised to forgive you if you repent. But He never said that you won't face the consequences of your sins. The Lord said the sins of the father shall be visited unto the next 3 generations, just look at Chief Gabriel Igbinedion, his son and Natasha Osawaru.

So does karma exist, absolutely. Just don't expect it to show itself to you most times. And if it does, then your cup was realllyyyy overflowing.

budaatum:
Yeah. And this is why we are feminists now, to avoid the abuse of pork!

If her girls breath fire, then they don't plan to live amongst humans.

Whilst we want to train girls who have enough self worth to pick worthy men, we don't want the girls to become the very boys we are condemning.

One mother/father trained their son that they breathe fire that's why he thinks he can do nonsense and get away with it.

bukatyne:
If her girls breath fire, then they don't plan to live amongst humans.

Whilst we want to train girls who have enough self worth to pick worthy men, we don't want the girls to become the very boys we are condemning.

One mother/father trained their son that they breathe fire that's why he thinks he can do nonsense and get away with it.

That's your understanding, I guess.

Most understand the fire breathing as having confidence and self worth, so I suggest you reassess your understanding so you don't mistrain your girls.

bukatyne:
@bold:

That's one of the numerous lies men sell to women.

Earning or lack of has not stopped a man from disrespecting a woman nor made a woman know her worth.

You will be shocked that she is the one fending for the household while apologising to side chics.

You're very wrong ma. No man walking on the face of this earth will ask a truly financially independent woman to apologize to a side chic, not to talk of the one that's the bread winner. Being a financially independent wife doesn't necessarily translate to a happy home, in fact, it makes some men insecure. But one thing is sure, no man will try shit like asking his independent or bread winner wife to apologize to a side chic.

Onegai:
Here's the thing about karma:

Most of us on the outside will not see it.

That's why people don't believe in it. But it's real, even biblically, every religion states it, it's even scientific. You reap what you sow.

If you've ever screwed up and hurt someone, you paid for it somehow. And most likely how you paid wouldn't look related to what you did. And it won't show to the outside world either, when I got my karma for hurting my ex-bf, it was like a series of screwups that kept snowballing till I ended up in a bad place, 2-3 yrs later. But you won't have guessed from any picture I posted online during that period.

A lot of politicians have very messed up private lives or are battling something very bad personally. You're not going to see it unless you're in their private circles.

A lot of women I know who were secretaries to rich men and then 'upgraded" to 2nd wives, most didn't enjoy that marriage or there was an issue with their kids. I met these people when they had turned 45+, 55+, 65+ till death, you would have been surprised to hear that the husband beside them hated his 1st wife so much and chased her away for these 2nd wives. And at least one of their children had k-leg in their lives.

God has always promised to forgive you if you repent. But He never said that you won't face the consequences of your sins. The Lord said the sins of the father shall be visited unto the next 3 generations, just look at Chief Gabriel Igbinedion, his son and Natasha Osawaru.

So does karma exist, absolutely. Just don't expect it to show itself to you most times. And if it does, then your cup was realllyyyy overflowing.

Is karma also the reason the wife was asked to apologize to the mistress? Maybe all the first wives replaced by second wives pay for their bad karma. Who knows?

Maeve7:
➜ Is karma also the reason the wife was asked to apologize to the mistress? Maybe all the first wives replaced by second wives pay for their bad karma. Who knows?

Good questions!

budaatum:
That's your understanding, I guess.

Most understand the fire breathing as having confidence and self worth, so I suggest you reassess your understanding so you don't mistrain your girls.

Let's disagree then.

I don't want my girls to breathe fire; I don't want my boys to breathe fire. I don't breathe fire and I don't want a man that breathes fire either.

We are not Sango.

I understand breathe of fire to be a fiery, terrible temper that destroys.

Mbanu.

Emmah123:
You're very wrong ma. No man walking on the face of this earth will ask a truly financially independent woman to apologize to a side chic, not to talk of the one that's the bread winner. Being a financially independent wife doesn't necessarily translate to a happy home, in fact, it makes some men insecure. But one thing is sure, no man will try shit like asking his independent or bread winner wife to apologize to a side chic.

@bold:

Bread winning women who don't know their worth have done worse.

I know a woman who used to give her jobless husband money to hang out 'with his side chics'.

When she didn't have, she borrowed when he was going out.

You can't fathom the crazy shit women let themselves go through to remain married.

Onegai:
Here's the thing about karma:

Most of us on the outside will not see it.

That's why people don't believe in it. But it's real, even biblically, every religion states it, it's even scientific. You reap what you sow.

If you've ever screwed up and hurt someone, you paid for it somehow. And most likely how you paid wouldn't look related to what you did. And it won't show to the outside world either, when I got my karma for hurting my ex-bf, it was like a series of screwups that kept snowballing till I ended up in a bad place, 2-3 yrs later. But you won't have guessed from any picture I posted online during that period.

A lot of politicians have very messed up private lives or are battling something very bad personally. You're not going to see it unless you're in their private circles.

A lot of women I know who were secretaries to rich men and then 'upgraded" to 2nd wives, most didn't enjoy that marriage or there was an issue with their kids. I met these people when they had turned 45+, 55+, 65+ till death, you would have been surprised to hear that the husband beside them hated his 1st wife so much and chased her away for these 2nd wives. And at least one of their children had k-leg in their lives.

God has always promised to forgive you if you repent. But He never said that you won't face the consequences of your sins. The Lord said the sins of the father shall be visited unto the next 3 generations, just look at Chief Gabriel Igbinedion, his son and Natasha Osawaru.

So does karma exist, absolutely. Just don't expect it to show itself to you most times. And if it does, then your cup was realllyyyy overflowing.

Hmmmmm.

This is worth pondering on.

You are right that these peeps have stuff they are going through. Maybe because the 'innocent' and 'guilty' go through stuff, it is hard to attribute the guilty's issues to karma.

bukatyne:
Let's disagree then.

I don't want my girls to breathe fire; I don't want my boys to breathe fire. I don't breathe fire and I don't want a man that breathes fire either.

We are not Sango.

I understand breathe of fire to be a fiery, terrible temper that destroys.

Mbanu.

Yes, Let's disagree then.

I won't bring up your children and you wouldn't being up mine whom I would delightfully bring up to be Sango, though I'm certain the Jessica Kirkland I quoted did not have Sango in mind.

budaatum:
Yes, Let's disagree then.

I won't bring up your children and you wouldn't being up mine whom I would delightfully bring up to be Sango, though I'm certain the Jessica Kirkland I quoted did not have Sango in mind.

The quote attached to this post is much better.

Your kids will not be 'Sango' in Jesus's name.

madridguy:
The man is the head of the family. During our fore fathers era, even their wives will fetch water for their husband's mistress to bath after the match.

They cooked for her and entertain her. They treat them as guest because men are allowed to take as many wives they want.

na simps make things hard for real men now.

bukatyne:
The quote attached to this post is much better.

Your kids will not be 'Sango' in Jesus's name.

Please o, I don't mind my children being fire breathing Sangos, especially my daughters, so they can resist the animals pork comes from.

In fact, I'd add some Sọpọna to them too so pork animals stay away from them.

Mariangeles:
One even stated here that they're "helping marriages".

My love I will be coming for your hand in marriage very soon

The world has become increasingly wicked and selfish. Marriage is made up of people, hence marriage is not a place devoid of pain and wickedness and selfishness. With all the knowledge known it is an unwise person who goes into marriage without a backup plan, especially the female gender who are marrying in a patriarchal society. Men are not hiding their proclivities, so why act like you are special and it can't happen to you?

It makes no sense to reference forefathers and foremothers in today's society because foremothers didn't have resources to have options. If you a female exist in today's society and devoid yourself of options because you chose to be uneducated and or not placed in a position to be financially independent, that is your fault.

Knowledge and money gives you options. It gives your children options. No one can control the actions of another, you can only control yours. The man you love today and who declares love to you can become your enemy and the immense source of your pain tomorrow, because he is a human being. He can also die or become sick. You have no excuse to loose your personal sense of being (killing your talent, ambition, and goals) because you found a man.

Do not go into the forest without your compass, flashlight, water, food and other means of survival. People will talk about you on the internet but in the end, your life is yours to live and we all move on from your sad tale.

Ishilove:
"I Must Be Mrs By Force".

As for you side hoes who keep causing drama in people's marriages, your punishment will be very bitter. Your own marriages, if you ever do get married will be filled with double the drama and sorrow you caused for other women.

You men that do not stop at committing adultery but also add insult to injury by forcing your wives to be humiliated by your mistresses, continue. You will receive disgrace in 100 folds.

[color=royalblue]Ahn Ahn

Ishy Ishy.

I thought you gave us this advice sometime ago.[/color]

Ishilove:
The one and only time I checked his phone, my ears saw my eyes. Since that day I left his phone alone for my mental health and well being. He doesn't know I checked it because I never told him. I love my peace biko. If you like police a man and dog him like a shadow, he will cheat if he wants to cheat. He is a full grown adult and is solely responsible for his actions and inactions. As long as he doesn't bring home an STD to come and meet innocent you, doesn't bring back the demons of his side chick(s), treats you with respect and he takes care of the family, please, avoid drama and stay away from his phone.

My former boss was, and still is a terrible womaniser and his circle of friends hold advanced degrees in philandering, but you see his wife? She is his queen. He doesn't joke with her, and respects her. He was the person who made me realise that you just cannot police a man. Despite all the love he has for his wife and family, he still sleeps with a different woman every night whenever he is in the country.

If you want peace in your marriage/relationship, don't police a man. Just commit him to God and ask God to deal mercilessly with him if he, or any interloping third party ever tries to bring problems to you or mistreat you in your corner. Shikena.

izzou:
[color=royalblue]Ahn Ahn

Ishy Ishy.

I thought you gave us this advice sometime ago.[/color]

izzou

mr receipt collector!!!!

Nazgul:
That's because you're 100% dependent on him. He knows that if you leave him you won't be able to survive independently. Even his family wouldn't even rate you. Cos all they see is a lazy woman feeding fat their son's money.

This is why we advise you women to work hard and become financially independent before jumping into marriage. But you keep looking for a Davido who would treat you like Chioma.

Can Tuface with his reputation as the undisputed celebrity womanizer champion in Africa tell his new wife Natasha to apologize to a side chick. Dem no born am well. That's because the babe is independent. She doesn't need his money to survive.

The energy most young girls put in looking for successful men, if they channel that same energy into developing themselves, whoever they end up with would respect them.

I disagree with u, leaving your husband because he marry another woman or having affairs is brainless and cluelessness as buhari regime. Or because your are financially independent that is why u are too big to apologize to your husband when u are wrong like Tinubu government is also unethical

Maeve7:
Is karma also the reason the wife was asked to apologize to the mistress? Maybe all the first wives replaced by second wives pay for their bad karma. Who knows?

Let me give a real life example (I'm going to get dragged )

In university, I dated someone for almost 4 yrs. We knew each other's parents, friends and at graduation we were supposed to relocate together and then marry.

Then a huge issue happened, it affected us badly and we didn't handle it well. Coupled with distance, we started having fights over the phone. And in my loneliness and sadness, I started hanging out with a friend of a friend (let's call him A) of my bf (uh oh). 2+2 led to 4 and I dramatically broke up (after one night of cheating) with my bf and swore I was in love with friend A.

Now, what I did followed the 80: 20 rule. And that rule is usually what a lot of people who dramatically end their marriages for another person or are cheating follow. And it will NEVER work out.

Did my "love" with A work out? 'Course not! He denied and rejected me so publicly (whilst privately hooking up) because he didn't want his reputation damaged. I went batshit crazy holding onto A who was emotionally unavailable, tanked my grades, my reputation took a nosedive, friends left. I kept making worse and worse decisions to dig myself out of the hole but only ended up deeper.

And it only ended 3/4 years later. Which is why they say "the Love no go last" when you look at all the couples doing this.

For my relatives who did this in their marriages, by Year 7 of being with the 2nd wife, you won't have guessed that they even liked that woman in Year 1 so much.

All the bad decisions I took whilst with A ended up derailing me for years. But you wouldn't have seen it if you weren't my friend, I was seemingly balling in the USA (I wish I could go into how bad things were but you'd all scream and almost all of you will quickly run to kneel down and pray for forgiveness and go and apologise to people you've wronged ).

And that's how karma works. You plant the bad seeds, you reap the bad harvest.

I've seen it happen too many times around me, to doubt it. But from the outside, they're balling.

God will always forgive you, but you must reap what you sow. Period. Like I said, it's in every religion and it's even scientific.

PS: 20 yrs later, my bf and I are still friends. And I regret breaking up with him. I haven't even talked to A once again.

I grew up with old parents (in their 50s when I was in Primary school) and hung out with their relatives and their friends.

Which is why I laugh when I see men cheating. I have an Uncle who gives marital advise online, always talking about being faithful.

Notice how older men are very into preaching Fidelity. They've learned the hard way.

Side Chicks and 2nd wives will rarely love a man. They met you when you had money and will leave once the money is finished. There's no loyalty in their hearts, so why do you expect them to be by your side in your old age?

Which means that every man that is cheating is destroying the tree that he is supposed to rest under in his old age. That means rain will beat him wella.

If you like, do polygamy. My aunt is wife no 3, they married as a small girl to a middle aged man. She's busily building herself a house and a factory whilst the baba is in the village, alone in his old age. It's wife no 1 that cares for him.

And if you want an example of An Instant Dose of Karma Being Delivered To A Cheating Husband, please think of all the numerous men that slumped and died...in a hotel room with a side chick.

It is funny to hear about it. But that's how my relative died.

And I assure you, it is very ugly. Because most heart attacks don't die quickly, so better pray for a brain aneurysm or a cardiac arrest to kill you fast.

Most of them die in a lot of pain and alone, the side chic runs away and leaves them and the hotel staff panic and don't call for help until it is too late. They'll lock you in the room and be wondering how not to get into trouble. Some of those men may even still be alive but unconscious or conscious but slipping in and out, desperately wanting to live.

Is that how you men wanna go out of this life?

If you were home with your wife, she would at least scream for help and cry and pray over you.

izzou:
[color=royalblue]Ahn Ahn

Ishy Ishy.

I thought you gave us this advice sometime ago.[/color]

You missed the point, my dear Izzou. The differences are clearly outlined in the two posts you quoted. The second one especially.

Onegai:
Let me give a real life example (I'm going to get dragged )

In university, I dated someone for almost 4 yrs. We knew each other's parents, friends and at graduation we were supposed to relocate together and then marry.

Then a huge issue happened, it affected us badly and we didn't handle it well. Coupled with distance, we started having fights over the phone. And in my loneliness and sadness, I started hanging out with a friend of a friend (let's call him A) of my bf (uh oh). 2+2 led to 4 and I dramatically broke up (after one night of cheating) with my bf and swore I was in love with friend A.

Now, what I did followed the 80: 20 rule. And that rule is usually what a lot of people who dramatically end their marriages for another person or are cheating follow. And it will NEVER work out.

Did my "love" with A work out? 'Course not! He denied and rejected me so publicly (whilst privately hooking up) because he didn't want his reputation damaged. I went batshit crazy holding onto A who was emotionally unavailable, tanked my grades, my reputation took a nosedive, friends left. I kept making worse and worse decisions to dig myself out of the hole but only ended up deeper.

And it only ended 3/4 years later. Which is why they say "the Love no go last" when you look at all the couples doing this.

For my relatives who did this in their marriages, by Year 7 of being with the 2nd wife, you won't have guessed that they even liked that woman in Year 1 so much.

All the bad decisions I took whilst with A ended up derailing me for years. But you wouldn't have seen it if you weren't my friend, I was seemingly balling in the USA (I wish I could go into how bad things were but you'd all scream and almost all of you will quickly run to kneel down and pray for forgiveness and go and apologise to people you've wronged ).

And that's how karma works. You plant the bad seeds, you reap the bad harvest.

I've seen it happen too many times around me, to doubt it. But from the outside, they're balling.

God will always forgive you, but you must reap what you sow. Period. Like I said, it's in every religion and it's even scientific.

PS: 20 yrs later, my bf and I are still friends. And I regret breaking up with him. I haven't even talked to A once again.

It’s not my intention to drag you darling, maybe to engage you. Also, I didn’t argue that people on social media don’t put up an image, that the suffering smile. Certainly, many do.

But you have refused to answer my question. Is it bad karma dealing with the wife who is asked to apologize to her husband’s mistress?

And was it karma that was dealing with your ex who had his girlfriend (you) cheat on him?

Maeve7:
But you have refused to answer my question. Is it bad karma dealing with the wife who is asked to apologize to her husband’s mistress?

And was it karma that was dealing with your ex who had his girlfriend (you) cheat on him?

I did answer your question.

Karma is the wrong word, it's Hindu. Biblically it's justice. Scientifically it's how the universe works (Physics explains this better). Like throwing a ball at a wall.

Bad things will always happen to you and anyone.

However, there are things you do, that will always end up coming back to you.

If a tanker falls on you today on your way home, that's not karma.

If you stole all the money meant to fix roads in Apapa for years, bought land in your village, in Lekki, took nice holidays and sent your kids to school abroad and then one holiday they come home and a tanker falls on the car they're in, on one of the roads in Apapa that you should have fixed 15 years ago, what would you call that?

And most of us wouldn't remember you were once the Commissioner for Roads (or whatever they called Amaechi) 15 yrs ago. We won't even know the name of the people who died in that car. It would be a blip on our radar.

CS Lewis gave a very good example of God's justice in his book "The Horse And The Boy".