₦airaland Forum

"When Good Is Never Enough: My Experience With Ungrateful People"

There’s a heavy kind of heartbreak that doesn’t come from romance — it comes from helping people and getting slapped in the face for it.

I’ve always believed in helping others rise. If I have access to opportunities, why not share them? If I have skills that could help someone grow, why hold back?

But along the line, life taught me a tough lesson: not everyone you help will be grateful. Some will forget. Some will twist your kindness. Some will even resent you for doing what they couldn’t do for themselves.

Let me tell you my story.

The First One: Tunde

I helped Tunde secure a job — a role that came with accommodation. That alone changed his life in a small but meaningful way. He stayed for a few months, then moved on. No word. No thanks.

Still, I didn’t hold it against him.

Later, he needed help with his CV. I did it for free — even though I normally charge between ₦10,000 and ₦15,000 for that kind of professional service. I took time out of my schedule, sat down, and did it for him like a brother.

Again, silence.

When I got a remote job I couldn’t fully manage due to my workload, I reached out to Tunde. I offered to split the job and the pay 50/50 — he would handle the day-to-day tasks while I managed the account. He said no.

In fact, he accused me of trying to use him.

Imagine that.

Days later, he came back and accepted. No apology. No explanation.

Even then, I let it go.

I went ahead to help him promote a training he was organizing — posted it for free, no charge for adverts. I even invited him to sit on a professional interview panel to help him build credibility, but he couldn’t make it due to a personal emergency. Fair enough.

But what truly broke me was what happened next.

He once told me he had an interview in another state. I didn’t have much — just ₦15,000 to my name — but I gave him ₦5,000 to support his trip. I didn’t have to. But I did.

Only for me to later hear he was mocking me behind my back.

He told people, “Imagine, I told MC I had an interview, and all he could give me was 5k.”

That one stung. Deep.

This was someone I constantly sent internal vacancies to, remote and hybrid jobs… someone I went out of my way to support. And that was how he repaid me.

The Second One: The Complainer

Then there was another individual I’d also been helping. I sent him jobs — verified jobs, not just random links. I shared confidential vacancies with him directly.

One day, he messaged me in frustration:
“All these jobs you’re sending me, they’re fake. None have worked.”

He didn’t just complain — he accused me. As if I was trying to deceive him.

The last straw? He insulted a job I had just sent, calling it another "fake one."

Guess what?

He was invited for an interview for that exact same role.

Did he come back to apologize? Nope. Did he acknowledge he was wrong? Not even a word.

A Hard Truth About People

Sometimes, human beings can be the worst investment.

You pour in your time, money, energy, and goodwill, hoping to see someone grow. But instead, they repay you with entitlement, betrayal, and gossip.

I’m not saying everyone is like this — but you'll be shocked how many are.

Helping others is noble, but it has to be done with discernment. Not everyone deserves your sacrifice. Not everyone values support unless it comes wrapped in gold and praise. And some will resent you just because you were the one who helped them.

So What’s the Lesson?

Help people — but don’t lose yourself doing it.

Be kind — but be smart.

Give — but don’t overextend to people who don’t even say "thank you."

And most importantly, never feel guilty for setting boundaries. It’s not bitterness. It’s self-respect.

Because the harsh truth is, sometimes the people you help the most… will be the ones who turn around and act like you never did anything at all.

IyaTola:
"When Good Is Never Enough: My Experience With Ungrateful People"

There’s a heavy kind of heartbreak that doesn’t come from romance — it comes from helping people and getting slapped in the face for it.

I’ve always believed in helping others rise. If I have access to opportunities, why not share them? If I have skills that could help someone grow, why hold back?

But along the line, life taught me a tough lesson: not everyone you help will be grateful. Some will forget. Some will twist your kindness. Some will even resent you for doing what they couldn’t do for themselves.

Let me tell you my story.

The First One: Tunde

I helped Tunde secure a job — a role that came with accommodation. That alone changed his life in a small but meaningful way. He stayed for a few months, then moved on. No word. No thanks.

Still, I didn’t hold it against him.

Later, he needed help with his CV. I did it for free — even though I normally charge between ₦10,000 and ₦15,000 for that kind of professional service. I took time out of my schedule, sat down, and did it for him like a brother.

Again, silence.

When I got a remote job I couldn’t fully manage due to my workload, I reached out to Tunde. I offered to split the job and the pay 50/50 — he would handle the day-to-day tasks while I managed the account. He said no.

In fact, he accused me of trying to use him.

Imagine that.

Days later, he came back and accepted. No apology. No explanation.

Even then, I let it go.

I went ahead to help him promote a training he was organizing — posted it for free, no charge for adverts. I even invited him to sit on a professional interview panel to help him build credibility, but he couldn’t make it due to a personal emergency. Fair enough.

But what truly broke me was what happened next.

He once told me he had an interview in another state. I didn’t have much — just ₦15,000 to my name — but I gave him ₦5,000 to support his trip. I didn’t have to. But I did.

Only for me to later hear he was mocking me behind my back.

He told people, “Imagine, I told MC I had an interview, and all he could give me was 5k.”

That one stung. Deep.

This was someone I constantly sent internal vacancies to, remote and hybrid jobs… someone I went out of my way to support. And that was how he repaid me.

The Second One: The Complainer

Then there was another individual I’d also been helping. I sent him jobs — verified jobs, not just random links. I shared confidential vacancies with him directly.

One day, he messaged me in frustration:
“All these jobs you’re sending me, they’re fake. None have worked.”

He didn’t just complain — he accused me. As if I was trying to deceive him.

The last straw? He insulted a job I had just sent, calling it another "fake one."

Guess what?

He was invited for an interview for that exact same role.

Did he come back to apologize? Nope. Did he acknowledge he was wrong? Not even a word.

A Hard Truth About People

Sometimes, human beings can be the worst investment.

You pour in your time, money, energy, and goodwill, hoping to see someone grow. But instead, they repay you with entitlement, betrayal, and gossip.

I’m not saying everyone is like this — but you'll be shocked how many are.

Helping others is noble, but it has to be done with discernment. Not everyone deserves your sacrifice. Not everyone values support unless it comes wrapped in gold and praise. And some will resent you just because you were the one who helped them.

So What’s the Lesson?

Help people — but don’t lose yourself doing it.

Be kind — but be smart.

Give — but don’t overextend to people who don’t even say "thank you."

And most importantly, never feel guilty for setting boundaries. It’s not bitterness. It’s self-respect.

Because the harsh truth is, sometimes the people you help the most… will be the ones who turn around and act like you never did anything at all.

Two ungrateful persons. It is well OP you're doing your part, God would reward you for it eventually. Btw I'm searching for a remote job. VA...entry level I am willing to learn on the job.

Chec the her profile, zhe haz een doing well with her thread

Tenrack:
Two ungrateful persons. It is well OP you're doing your part, God would reward you for it eventually. Btw I'm searching for a remote job. VA...entry level I am willing to learn on the job.

That’s really saddening, I pray it doesn’t affect your kind heart and stops you from helping the one that would really appreciate you not only in words😫😫
👨‍🦯

The OP was spot on!

If I hadn't experienced it myself, I wouldn't have known how terribly ungrateful humans can be.

The very first time I was sacked in my life, it was because of someone whom I brought into the same organization that I worked. She backstabbed me just to advance her own career. There was another guy too that I got a job for, dude messed up so bad that it affected my relationship with the client. Since then, I became wiser. I only help from a distance.

The most recent lesson that I learnt this year is to never lend anyone money; whether friends, family or strangers. People have a bad habit of not wanting to repay debts. When it's time for repayment, stories go start. This year alone, I lost a lot and it still gives me sleepless nights. Again, I've learnt my lessons. If you like tell me sey you have the biggest problem in the world, I'll only give you what I can afford to forgo.

In all, whenever I say to myself that I'll stop being good. I remember how several other people have been good to me in the past and how some are still good to me. I'll just sigh and remind myself of the saying; "It's always good to be good".

#Picks_tooth

I can relate, imagine being exploited while you are being generous.
While being exploited they are still trying to sabotage each other.

It is good to help people, but I don't forgive,if you offend me I distance myself from you entirely, I don't forgive.

Baronthecelebri:
It is good to help people, but I don't forgive,if you offend me I distance myself from you entirely, I don't forgive.

Brother this is it. I would forgive and never have anything to do with you ever again.

Op did not mention the ones you have offer serious help to in the past, in form of lucrative jobs etc. When you need something small in comparison they complain or ghost only to come back later when they want to check on your progress.

Bruh i won’t even reply their “hello” or “how far”. That is the end!

Omo people fit make person tire, oh well past is the past

I help from a distance.