₦airaland Forum

Diamond098454:
But you have been sleeping with her throughout your courtship a month of no sex won't kill you

Do you read the story at all before commenting?🙄

Now go back and read.......... Slowly

Hormonal changes also stops me from touching her?
This is a lady that goes about her daily activities like every other normal day
She doesn't even entertain little touches not to talk of romance or smooching
We're just like housemates who share the same bed together
No connection, no bond no chemistry

dealslip:
It's the major hormonal change going on. Trust me, the first trimester of a pregnancy is often the worse stage. Even the pregnant woman herself feels like person wey trailer jam. She feels like crap in that period but wait till she comes out of the first trimester na you go run😂😂. The hormone will start a riot and fire, you sef go dey run

NotOfThisWorld:
Just talk to her, or wait until May 2026 when she will deliver. May 2026 is just around the corner, even though you'll have to give her some time after that as well. You cannot expect her to want to do the do with you right after she puts to bed. She's your wife; she's not going anywhere. Just be patient. Patience, patience.

Which is probably why she is comfortably switching to the real her. Its not the sex that is a worry, its the complete refusal for any form of affection - even touching her or hugging.

He's stuck with an asexual individual. Good luck.

She remained a virgin because she has very low sexual urge.

You're in for a sexless marriage. Pregnancy has nothing to do with this, infact pregnant women need more sex.

Why did you agree to no sex for two years of courtship? You'd have known you two aren't sexually compatible.

You had it coming alright

Ozzyk:
We got married in ending of August
We didn't have anything to do together at all during our 2 year courtship
She's really adorable and a Godly babe to the core
On the second night of our wedding I confirmed she was a virgin
Sadly our honeymoon only lasted Barely 2 weeks before she missed her period
Here is the issue;
Since over a month and some few weeks now she won't let me touch her, in fact it's like my touches irritate her, no sex, no kiss, no smooching, no touching
It sometimes feels we're just house mates who shares same matrimonial bed together
I have tried to talk to her many times about my sexual wellness but she seems not interested at all
My marriage is less than 2 months and I am already over a month sex starved
Perhaps she sometimes complains of pregnancy cramps but this should not com at the detriment of my sexual well being.....
And besides she's goes to work everyday but the moments she gets home she won't let me touch not even slight touches not to talk of sex or romance....
I am already tired 😩

Ozzyk:
➜Hormonal changes also stops me from touching her? This is a lady that goes about her daily activities like every other normal day She doesn't even entertain little touches not to talk of romance or smooching We're just like housemates who share the same bed together No connection, no bond no chemistry

You married a woman without an established sexual history — you literally have no reference to work off of as far as her sexual history—expecting that she would automagically jump into your sexual rhythm right after marriage. I am afraid what you need to check at this point are your expectations. What choice do you have other than to let her work through her issues and come out to explain it to you when she is ready to? 🥱🥱🥱

Double0h7:
That’s got to be so terrifying for her. Imagine, to never have had sex and on your first attempt you get pregnant. For a woman that’s 2 fears in 1. The anxiety of having to give birth before you even set your mind on being a wife. Why wouldn’t sex be the last thing on her mind.

What’s even sadder is ops selfish attitude. He doesn’t even care about her wellbeing because a wife is an incubator and a sex tool for him and his like. I honestly believe a lot of men hate women and refuse to see them as human beings. Reading the comments from men on this thread is shocking. No mercy.

I really hope young ladies are paying attention and are not looking to these men as some knights coming to save them. My sister prioritise your education and be ready to rescue yourself before one beast uses you as a sex tool before he throws you and your seed out of HIS house.

Women with no interest in sex would be doing men a huge favor by being up front about it, so unsuspecting men don't end up in fruitless marriages. Marriage is a give and take... even the bible acknowledges that our bodies are to be sex tools for each other. 1 Corinthians 7:4.

Enough of the guilt tripping.

Kobojunkie:
You married a woman without an established sexual history — you literally have no reference to work off of as far as her sexual history—expecting that she would automagically jump into your sexual rhythm right after marriage. I am afraid what you need to check at this point are your expectations. What choice do you have other than to let her work through her issues and come out to explain it to you when she is ready to? 🥱🥱🥱

This doesn't make sense. If she were only choosing not to have sex, I would understand. She's basically shut down any form of affection completely. How is it crazy to expect that newlyweds would want to touch each other, hug, kiss, and hold hands? Bizarre.

Does she love you?

Ozzyk:
I tried at first to reason with her excuses throughout last month until last week that it doesn't seem to make sense anymore....
When I talk say she go talk say she no ready give in until after 9 months
You won't even notice that she's pregnant yet
She's very active at her work place, goes to chuch regularly, markets, cook and other day to day activities

Guy your head no correct o! First time pregnancy from someone that has not done adequate knacking and newly wed, of course she's not prepared for the rollercoaster she's on! Instead of you to be a supportive partner and forsake your own needs for awhile, you're already fuming and foaming in just a month, sho gbadun?

Do you understand all the hormones, bloating, spitting, nausea and other things going on? Better give yourself brain and reassure her that everything will be okay. If you must know, some women even the smell of your body can cause them to vomit, DON'T BE SELFISH!

Ozzyk:
We got married in ending of August
We didn't have anything to do together at all during our 2 year courtship
She's really adorable and a Godly babe to the core
On the second night of our wedding I confirmed she was a virgin
Sadly our honeymoon only lasted Barely 2 weeks before she missed her period
Here is the issue;
Since over a month and some few weeks now she won't let me touch her, in fact it's like my touches irritate her, no sex, no kiss, no smooching, no touching
It sometimes feels we're just house mates who shares same matrimonial bed together
I have tried to talk to her many times about my sexual wellness but she seems not interested at all
My marriage is less than 2 months and I am already over a month sex starved
Perhaps she sometimes complains of pregnancy cramps but this should not com at the detriment of my sexual well being.....
And besides she's goes to work everyday but the moments she gets home she won't let me touch not even slight touches not to talk of sex or romance....
I am already tired 😩

You married a lady that is not used to sex. Meaning that she is likely still going through the painful sexual experience as a first timer. Without getting used to that, foreign sensation in her stomach has joined. The truth is that she doesn't even understand how her body is doing her yet and you are clearly the least of her problem.

You need to have a heart to heart conversation with her to know what the issue is. Your perfume or spray may be irritating her and she may not know how to tell you. Some other thing you do may be irritating her without her having the courage to tell you.

The saying marry your best friend is valid. Especially in cases like this where you two may need to have difficult conversations. You need to know what the issue is before you know the next steps.

I would suggest that you are patient with her for at least 3 months. The first trimester is dramatic for most ladies. From the 4th month, she should be more accommodating all things being equal.

Carry your cross in peace. Na virgin you marry. Live with the ripple effects

TWoods:
➜This doesn't make sense. If she were only choosing not to have sex, I would understand. She's basically shut down any form of affection completely. How is it crazy to expect that newlyweds would want to touch each other, hug, kiss, and hold hands? Bizarre.

There are several reasons why a person can literally shut down in that way, and some of them happen to be psychological. Fear/Anxiety is a major reason why many people do so.

You literally concluded that the woman is asexual, and I am unable to share your conclusion, given that OP himself revealed that they would kiss and smooch before marriage. Could she end up revealing, after her limited sexual experience with just OP, that she would rather become asexual? Sure! But given OP's own claims, I doubt it is anything like that.

OP literally told his story from the point of his not getting his libido and want for affection satisfied, and didn't really reveal much else except that this all started after the woman realized she had taken in, and according to him, has not impacted her daily life. Without much else to go by, the best we can do is point him towards allowing the woman, whom he assures us is brand new to sex and pregnancy, to wrap her mind around potential fears that may be associated with such changes in the life of a woman. Simple!

Kobojunkie:
There are several reasons why a person can literally shut down in that way, and some of them happen to be psychological. Fear/Anxiety is a major reason why many people do so.

You literally concluded that the woman is asexual, and I am unable to share your conclusion, given that OP himself revealed that they said that they would kiss and smooch before marriage.

OP literally told his story from the point of his not getting his libido and want for affection satisfied, and didn't really reveal much else except that this all started after the woman realized she had taken in, and according to him, has not impacted her daily life. Without much else to go by, the best we can do is point him towards allowing the woman, whom he assures us is brand new to sex and pregnancy, to wrap her mind around potential fears that may be associated with such changes in the life of a woman. Simple!

If she refused to even kiss and smooch before marriage, likely op would have chosen not to marry her. Lots of asexual women put up with sex to get married or have kids.

TWoods:
➜If she refused to even kiss and smooch before marriage, likely op would have chosen not to marry her. Lots of asexual women put up with sex to get married or have kids.

The major reason why asexual women choose marriage is because society tells women they are nothing without men. And many of us have mothers and grandmothers who are asexual women, but were forced into marriage and then had to force themselves to accept having their bodies poked and prodded in marriage. So, let's please stop trying to paint asexual women black or as bad women.

According to OP, he tested her ability to give and receive affection before marriage and did not find her wanting. This means she ticked all of the right boxes for him — she is the wife material of his choice. That she has not been giving him affection ever since discovering that she is pregnant is something entirely different. It does not matter whether you think she is asexual or not, as what matters is that she submitted to marriage and was accepted by OP as his partner as-is.

Other than not giving him sex and remaining firm about her decision, OP hasn't complained about anything else about his wife. Why make her out to be a villain?

It's normal bro to some ladies especially vergins

After she give birth na u go run from sex demand because her sex life will multiply and increase her libido
It happened to my wife too

It's normal bro to some ladies especially vergins

After she give birth na u go run from sex demand because her sex life will multiply and increase her libido
It happened to my wife too
It hormonal changes going on

This is why I'm not a fan of no sex till after marriage, don't quote me wrong, I'm not saying is not good.. infact it's godly, but I'm not just a fan. I have to know my woman and ensure we sexually compatible before marriage.

For most men marriage is just pain. Ever since I got married the quality of my life has reduced totally. The only thing I do with my life is work and run errands and help my so-called wife to get her life together, nothing like sex here.
All the talks of marriage is about companionship, etc is a fiction, marriage is about responsibility, you won't understand until you enter. As I dey like this na excuse wey I go use commot I dey find.

I was alone when I was single, but the quality of my life was better.

Men should stay out of marriage, you won't benefit, you will sacrifice everything, and still you will be the villain, thanks to all the worldwide men are bad trumpeters.

Kobojunkie:
The major reason why asexual women choose marriage is because society tells women they are nothing without men. And many of us have mothers and grandmothers who are asexual women, but were forced into marriage and then had to force themselves to accept having their bodies poked and prodded in marriage. So, let's please stop trying to paint asexual women black or as bad women.

According to OP, he tested her ability to give and receive affection before marriage and did not find her wanting. This means she ticked all of the right boxes for him — she is the wife material of his choice. That she has not been giving him affection ever since discovering that she is pregnant is something entirely different. It does not matter whether you think she is asexual or not, as what matters is that she submitted to marriage and was accepted by OP as his partner as-is.

Other than not giving him sex and remaining firm about her decision, OP hasn't complained about anything else about his wife. Why make her out to be a villain?

That is not true. It's not so much the sex op has complained about, but the complete withdrawal of ALL forms of affection. As he puts it, he is no better than a roommate with his supposed wife. To pretend it's just about sex, so we can hide behind "she's pregnant" is just as dishonest as a woman who knows she has a very low sexual libido leading a man into a marriage she fully does not intend to commit to.

Bro trying buy room freshener and some perfume and look smart for her

Hormonal changes are going on in her life
Take her outing time to time or move around with her
Dress well and look smart too

Pregnancy comes with different emotions for different women. I got married in march and my wife took in for june. She is 4months gone now and since then we haven’t copulated. The stress and what she is passing through with the pregnancy issues no allow us. I don complain tire. I have accepted my faith. But i learnt toward the last 3months of delivery she will always be Hot and will need sex that time for easy delivery.

lucane123:
This is why I'm not a fan of no sex till after marriage, don't quote me wrong, I'm not saying is not good.. infact it's godly, but I'm not just a fan. I have to know my woman and ensure we sexually compatible before marriage.

Not necessarily true. My wife said no sex before marriage... and she's easily better sexually than any other woman I've been with. The difference is that she understands what a marriage is and fully commits herself to it. Looking back, sex before marriage was completely of no value.

Diamond098454:
But you have been sleeping with her throughout your courtship a month of no sex won't kill you

Learn to read before commenting

Ozzyk:
A legally married man should put his cap on hold for 9 months? And who told you you can start knacking you wife again immediately after 9 months? U must at least give her 8 weeks to heal after delivery
And it differs from women to women
Some could take more time

This is one of the reasons why people of old usually had more than one wife, but christianity has changed everything, so some men find it difficult to cope

Ozzyk:
We got married in ending of August
We didn't have anything to do together at all during our 2 year courtship
She's really adorable and a Godly babe to the core
On the second night of our wedding I confirmed she was a virgin
Sadly our honeymoon only lasted Barely 2 weeks before she missed her period
Here is the issue;
Since over a month and some few weeks now she won't let me touch her, in fact it's like my touches irritate her, no sex, no kiss, no smooching, no touching
It sometimes feels we're just house mates who shares same matrimonial bed together
I have tried to talk to her many times about my sexual wellness but she seems not interested at all
My marriage is less than 2 months and I am already over a month sex starved
Perhaps she sometimes complains of pregnancy cramps but this should not com at the detriment of my sexual well being.....
And besides she's goes to work everyday but the moments she gets home she won't let me touch not even slight touches not to talk of sex or romance....
I am already tired 😩

/
Who deceived you that frequent sex is a benefit in marriage?

Get all the sex you can while single and dating.
/

Ozzyk:
We got married in ending of August
We didn't have anything to do together at all during our 2 year courtship
She's really adorable and a Godly babe to the core
On the second night of our wedding I confirmed she was a virgin
Sadly our honeymoon only lasted Barely 2 weeks before she missed her period
Here is the issue;
Since over a month and some few weeks now she won't let me touch her, in fact it's like my touches irritate her, no sex, no kiss, no smooching, no touching
It sometimes feels we're just house mates who shares same matrimonial bed together
I have tried to talk to her many times about my sexual wellness but she seems not interested at all
My marriage is less than 2 months and I am already over a month sex starved
Perhaps she sometimes complains of pregnancy cramps but this should not com at the detriment of my sexual well being.....
And besides she's goes to work everyday but the moments she gets home she won't let me touch not even slight touches not to talk of sex or romance....
I am already tired 😩

Seems like she's not that physically attracted to you honestly cause women have sex late into their third trimester, talk less of 1 month in like this.
You can choose to go solo i.e masturbation, or you can ask her to tell you what you can do for her to let you hit, if na to do exercise to reduce belly fat (if there is any), or if na to watch porn with her to get her in the mood, or if na to give her head, you should know what her sexual fantasies are and try to fulfill some of it to rekindle the romance.
Most Women like pre-intimacy, most men don't, they just want to hit and be done, if she does let you hit again, make sure she enjoys it, focus more on her than on you. Use your fingers to make her orgasm before you actually hit, she can tell you what feels good and what doesn't....listen to her breathing change in the moment and feel her pleasure

Ozzyk:
We got married in ending of August
We didn't have anything to do together at all during our 2 year courtship
She's really adorable and a Godly babe to the core
On the second night of our wedding I confirmed she was a virgin
Sadly our honeymoon only lasted Barely 2 weeks before she missed her period
Here is the issue;
Since over a month and some few weeks now she won't let me touch her, in fact it's like my touches irritate her, no sex, no kiss, no smooching, no touching
It sometimes feels we're just house mates who shares same matrimonial bed together
I have tried to talk to her many times about my sexual wellness but she seems not interested at all
My marriage is less than 2 months and I am already over a month sex starved
Perhaps she sometimes complains of pregnancy cramps but this should not com at the detriment of my sexual well being.....
And besides she's goes to work everyday but the moments she gets home she won't let me touch not even slight touches not to talk of sex or romance....
I am already tired 😩

..not having to have sex with her in your 2 years courtship with her.. made you not to know if she is type the of woman that likes sex or not .. until when you got married to her you realized that she does not like it or crave for it .like other women do crave for it...

Ozzyk:
I tried at first to reason with her excuses throughout last month until last week that it doesn't seem to make sense anymore....
When I talk say she go talk say she no ready give in until after 9 months
You won't even notice that she's pregnant yet
She's very active at her work place, goes to chuch regularly, markets, cook and other day to day activities

What she doesn't realize is that she is committing adultery. Bible-defined adultery is not centered on extra-marital sex alone.

Women tend to change their attitudes after their first pregnancies, probably due to some hormonal imbalances. But 2 weeks pregnancy in this case is a little too strange for attitude to suddenly change. Some ladies don't even know they're pregnant until after several weeks, 2 weeks? Do y'all do pregnancy tests every day?

Oga leave her if she tire she go look for you for bed

TWoods:
➜That is not true. It's not so much the sex op has complained about, but the complete withdrawal of ALL forms of affection.
➜ As he puts it, he is no better than a roommate with his supposed wife.
➜ To pretend it's just about sex, so we can hide behind "she's pregnant" is just as dishonest as a woman who knows she has a very low sexual libido leading a man into a marriage she fully does not intend to commit to.

Again, OP tested her ability to give and receive affection and gave her his approval.

2. No! This, he also said, happened after she began withdrawing from him— after she realized she was pregnant. The two of them existing now, sort of like roommates, OP points out, is due to them having no physical romantic or sexual contact beginning after she realized she was pregnant.

3. Are you trying to add your own pieces to the story for OP, or something?

4. Like I said, many of our mothers and grandmothers were such women, and they too powered through those low libidos to allow their husbands to get all of their pleasure from those same bodies. (Yes, even low-libido/asexual women thrived in marriages back in the days.) OP did not say that his wife has a low libido, nor did he suggest she be asexual, though. So, I am not certain why you are so certain she is.

emmyN:
➜What she doesn't realize is that she is committing adultery. Bible-defined adultery is not centered on extra-marital sex alone.

You people are just wicked. You wrap your lies around that book every chance you get all so you could humiliate and demonize women every chance you get.

Diamond098454:
But you have been sleeping with her throughout your courtship a month of no sex won't kill you

Learn to read before you comment. Op confirmed marrying her a virgin.