₦airaland Forum

Ozzyk:
We got married in ending of August
We didn't have anything to do together at all during our 2 year courtship
She's really adorable and a Godly babe to the core
On the second night of our wedding I confirmed she was a virgin
Sadly our honeymoon only lasted Barely 2 weeks before she missed her period
Here is the issue;
Since over a month and some few weeks now she won't let me touch her, in fact it's like my touches irritate her, no sex, no kiss, no smooching, no touching
It sometimes feels we're just house mates who shares same matrimonial bed together
I have tried to talk to her many times about my sexual wellness but she seems not interested at all
My marriage is less than 2 months and I am already over a month sex starved
Perhaps she sometimes complains of pregnancy cramps but this should not com at the detriment of my sexual well being.....
And besides she's goes to work everyday but the moments she gets home she won't let me touch not even slight touches not to talk of sex or romance....
I am already tired 😩

it happens. Just let her be.

Bear with her and use masturbation to hold body for now. Masturbate in her presence. Do this and thank me later

Alonso91:
Do you read the story at all before commenting?🙄

Now go back and read.......... Slowly

okay sir. am going back there now to read.
From today i will start reading before commenting. I only saw the headline and i jump into comment section, forgive me the good people of Nairaland.

Oga you have to endure, I had the same experience, for 9 months of my first daughter, my wife didn't allow me to touch her, second issue, my wife didn't allow me touch her for 9 months, some women are like that, don't be sorry you married a woman that has low libido just like my wife. Endure brother

pocohantas:
Okay. So what do you want to do now?
I don't think a normal woman would start being this evil 2mths into marriage, but your wife might be an exception.

Since you are professionally sure she is being mischievous, you might consider a 2nd wife. There is one lady here that complained of her husband not having vigorous sex with her. You can check her out. I pray you find a solution.

https://www.nairaland.com/ozzyk/topics

i thought he is BSing but now i'm not sure. dont think he is a nurse sha - he just works in a federal hospital

Helpout12345:
Then you might not have a big problem if it was obvious you love each other. It might be hormonal changes due to early stage of pregnancy.

Just be patient. I know by second and even third trimester, same pregnancy hormone cause women to want it more and even be more soaking down there.

Another question I have is this. Do you learn how to pleasure a woman very well or did you also marry as a Virgin with no experience? You will need that experience when she is ready for you. A no-experience man in that business is also a turn off for them.

hormonal changes at what time .... they had sex for just 10days before pregnancy ... instant hormonal change na waa o !

Just 😂😂😂😂😂😆 men this days

Ozzyk:
We got married in ending of August
We didn't have anything to do together at all during our 2 year courtship
She's really adorable and a Godly babe to the core
On the second night of our wedding I confirmed she was a virgin
Sadly our honeymoon only lasted Barely 2 weeks before she missed her period
Here is the issue;
Since over a month and some few weeks now she won't let me touch her, in fact it's like my touches irritate her, no sex, no kiss, no smooching, no touching
It sometimes feels we're just house mates who shares same matrimonial bed together
I have tried to talk to her many times about my sexual wellness but she seems not interested at all
My marriage is less than 2 months and I am already over a month sex starved
Perhaps she sometimes complains of pregnancy cramps but this should not com at the detriment of my sexual well being.....
And besides she's goes to work everyday but the moments she gets home she won't let me touch not even slight touches not to talk of sex or romance....
I am already tired 😩

She needs counseling Tell her pastor/ Pastor Mrs and her parents if she has, they will help out.

zoomman:
They were celibate before marriage.

what? I didn't read it , wow....... He tried oooo he shouldn't worry with time everything will be okay

Procashtips:
I don't believe it's because she was a virgin that made her the way she's right now.

Also don't believe it's because she took him almost immediately.

I have experience with both scenario and this didn't stop sex even down to few weeks before delivery.

You know women react to pregnancy differently, right ?

[quote author=kiddaz post=137146430][/quote]The man in this picture is actually dead

Ozzyk:
I tried at first to reason with her excuses throughout last month until last week that it doesn't seem to make sense anymore....
When I talk say she go talk say she no ready give in until after 9 months
You won't even notice that she's pregnant yet
She's very active at her work place, goes to chuch regularly, markets, cook and other day to day activities

You met her as a virgin. Probably sex is still painful and not enjoyable to her. So pregnancy is a good excuse. Just tell your pastor and my church, so they can counsel her well

Why is DNA needed again when he was d one that dis flower her
🤔

NiRfreak:
Oga. This is not right at all
At the beginning of what should be your bonding time, she's playing games and manipulation....
These are what you should do.

1. Erase the fact you have in your head that she's godly or good or virgin. Erase it. It no longer count. Otherwise you won't be able to act as a man, even when u are hurting, ur emotional side will be emasculating you..
.
2. Approach the situation practically and zero your mind completely away from having sex with her. At least before marriage u dint die without sex. So don't let her use the sex card to turn u to her slave.
.
3. Insist on pregnancy test
4. Insist on DNA test after 9 months..... Just to get on her nerves and make her agitated that you may not trust her.
5 Don't try to please her, do the barest minimum and no special treat. I beg you, no special treat or outing meant to curry favor.
6 play the same game she's playing. And don't bother her for sex... and don't seek her attention.
7 don't sleep in same room at night..go sleep in the second room.
8 Create scene and lambast her if she tries to gaslight you or flip the script on you for behaving mean towards her. A woman should be able to see your anger expressed as a man when she crosses certain lie. Even if u can't express anger.. voice and act it... No go dey do gentle man for this situation o

Over times she will sit up if she realises u are not taking her manipulation.

But I bet you can't do this because u still see her as a saint who has ur best interest.. Lol.. But she's there manipulating you and trying to be the boss over you. If u don't flip the script, she will turn ur boss, u will have to obey anything she says, and she will make you beg for everything in that marriage

brain54:
I am not talking about all these your tactics...


And any other thing you posted. But did you consider that it may not be a case of manipulation but just a simple case of she being frigid or having low sexual drive genuinely?

Some people simply have low sex drives and it might not be about manipulation!

No matter how frigid a woman is..... If she loves her husband you will see her want to please her husband, the husband will see she wants to be touched and is only anxious and scared of the pain. But what op said is not in anyway resembling frigid.


Now to the OP. If you are reading this! I am sorry to say this....
Ur wife doesn't love you
She simply wanted to be married and that's all and u gave her what she wanted.
Quote me anywhere! A woman who genuinely loves you will want to perform all manner of gymnastics and acrobatics with her lawfully wedded husband, infact she will be parading the house without wearing cloth just to tease you.
I am sorry you have already married her. Since both of you are already doing church tins report her to a female church member that has kids and let that one sit her down and talk senses into her. If that doesn't work then follow that bad advice given on the first page 😉.

milkywaves:
Bear with her and use masturbation to hold body for now. Masturbate in her presence. Do this and thank me later

Hab tried this someday and it works 😂

From experience

A man should not go a week without having sex twice if he wants to remains healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually.

When my wife was pregnant thrice, we had regular sex upto the seventh or eight month so I don't understand how 3 weeks pregnancy becomes excuse to not perform your conjugal duties yet going to work everyday.

How can a young married man of two months be sex starved when single guys that are not taking care of a wive and their family responsibilities enjoy sex three times per week? This is pure injustice

Women insists on one man one wife yet cannot do the work of satisfying the man, a work that three or more women did for our forefathers

pocohantas:
Look at what you a snr married man is telling your junior colleague. You led me here and I was even thinking it is two years of starvation. Only to see she is a newly pregnant woman. How can you say pregnancy has nothing to do with this? He/she has to give more clarity to her pregnancy symptoms and general state of mind for us to advise fairly.

New couples are usually advised to enjoy their marriage and bond small before belle to avoid starting on this note. You know this.

Okay, talk to her, she needs lots of counseling from you. You can have her when she's happy and not irritated. My wife then would vomit and vomit and vomit! Jesus! I only touch her maybe at night when was happy, she gets irritated by everything, would buy her everything but nothing pleases her those days but I will just target when she's stable and happy and do it, leave her for another maybe 1 month. Not all women are like this, some do not feel any changes hence they can have sex from day 1 pregnancy to the day of their delivery. Men must understand and bear with their wives.

You can't compare your symptoms with hers...
Hers is very very mild
She goes about her normal day to day activities
She's pretty much fine except that she sleeps often and eat less no vomiting, no fever, no fatigue, no spit no nausea.....
It's just not about the sex from my end too
But no form of intimacy no matter how small
No kissing, no touching, no smooching,no cuddling
No connection no bond at all
We're just living like housemates
Makes me wonder if her pregnancy only stopped her from being intimate with me but not her day to day activities

pocohantas:
I am surprised some of them are saying with emphasis that it is not pregnancy. Haba! With my minion I was in out of the hospital. I vomited everything, even water until I became depressed. Imagine if he came here for advise. They will tell him to get a sidechick or second wife. 😂😂😂

Double0h7:
That’s got to be so terrifying for her. Imagine, to never have had sex and on your first attempt you get pregnant. For a woman that’s 2 fears in 1. The anxiety of having to give birth before you even set your mind on being a wife. Why wouldn’t sex be the last thing on her mind.

What’s even sadder is ops selfish attitude. He doesn’t even care about her wellbeing because a wife is an incubator and a sex tool for him and his like. I honestly believe a lot of men hate women and refuse to see them as human beings. Reading the comments from men on this thread is shocking. No mercy.

I really hope young ladies are paying attention and are not looking to these men as some knights coming to save them. My sister prioritise your education and be ready to rescue yourself before one beast uses you as a sex tool before he throws you and your seed out of HIS house.

. Aunty your paragraph no make any sense, you courted that was a enough time to process and prepare your mind & body for whats to come

when you say " I do" it means you have reached the final stage of processing and you are ready for whats to come, i can you be having unprotected sex n still be shocked getting pregnant ... doesnt make sense

There is an issue inside her she is not just spilling out, she is only using the pregnancy as a cover

Every other you wrote, honestly i wont want to insult you But whats that a man that had 2yrs patience no sex is still the villian inside marriage cos he asked for sex

Women only try thus with weak man becos they will get away with it. You better man up and handle things like a tough guy .

Xilsbridalhouse:
You know women react to pregnancy differently, right ?

Still doesn't mean a woman would totally shut down any form of affection towards a man she loves.

Could be something not related to her hormones or sexual activities.

What if she's not really into men?

Her symptoms is very very mild
She goes about her normal day to day activities
She's pretty much fine except that she sleeps often and eat less no vomiting, no fever, no fatigue, no spit no nausea, she barely even had mood swings.....
It's just not about the sex from my end too
But no form of intimacy no matter how small
No kissing, no touching, no smooching,no cuddling
No connection no bond at all
We're just living like housemates
Makes me wonder if her pregnancy only stopped her from being intimate with me but not her day to day activities
Sincerely you won't even notice she's pregnant by seeing her
She's very very active, doesn't look she's over a month pregnant at all
Her stomach is very much flat

Osanoghodua1:
Okay, talk to her, she needs lots of counseling from you. You can have her when she's happy and not irritated. My wife then would vomit and vomit and vomit! Jesus! I only touch her maybe at night when was happy, she gets irritated by everything, would buy her everything but nothing pleases her those days but I will just target when she's stable and happy and do it, leave her for another maybe 1 month. Not all women are like this, some do not feel any changes hence they can have sex from day 1 pregnancy to the day of their delivery. Men must understand and bear with their wives.

Lexusgs430:
Unfortunately, you married a lady that believes sex, is only for pregnancy..... Once pregnant, sex stops......

if thats her idealogy then why is it difficult to communicate to the man, however OP needs a 3rd party that can get into her head and resensitize

NiRfreak:
Oga. This is not right at all
At the beginning of what should be your bonding time, she's playing games and manipulation....
These are what you should do.

1. Erase the fact you have in your head that she's godly or good or virgin. Erase it. It no longer count. Otherwise you won't be able to act as a man, even when u are hurting, ur emotional side will be emasculating you..
.
2. Approach the situation practically and zero your mind completely away from having sex with her. At least before marriage u dint die without sex. So don't let her use the sex card to turn u to her slave.
.
3. Insist on pregnancy test
4. Insist on DNA test after 9 months..... Just to get on her nerves and make her agitated that you may not trust her.
5 Don't try to please her, do the barest minimum and no special treat. I beg you, no special treat or outing meant to curry favor.
6 play the same game she's playing. And don't bother her for sex... and don't seek her attention.
7 don't sleep in same room at night..go sleep in the second room.
8 Create scene and lambast her if she tries to gaslight you or flip the script on you for behaving mean towards her. A woman should be able to see your anger expressed as a man when she crosses certain lie. Even if u can't express anger.. voice and act it... No go dey do gentle man for this situation o

Over times she will sit up if she realises u are not taking her manipulation.

But I bet you can't do this because u still see her as a saint who has ur best interest.. Lol.. But she's there manipulating you and trying to be the boss over you. If u don't flip the script, she will turn ur boss, u will have to obey anything she says, and she will make you beg for everything in that marriage

Just kuku tell the man to divorce her jarey.
All this games because of kpekus wey you invest time, money and energy in marrying is not necessetri.

The signs wey there but the guy was naive with women.

He should count his losses, learn his lessons and move on.

She made a vow on the alter to satisfy her husband.....
If she she's not really into men she wouldn't have gotten married knowing what marriage entails
She's not a kid
She's fucking 26 and a graduate

Procashtips:
Still doesn't mean a woman would totally shut down any form of affection towards a man she loves.

Could be something not related to her hormones or sexual activities.

What if she's not really into men?

Getting married to an inexperienced man or woman always come with advantages and disadvantages what you are dealing with now is one of the disadvantages of such decision. But it's all good you will enjoy is at the end because such people doesn't cheat .

chloride6:
leave that woman alone...

She feels very weird right now...

Just leave her alone

lolzz, ! he left her alone inside 2yrs of courtship, now inside marriage he should leave her alone ... so when and where will he enjoy her ... heaven ??

just leave her alone .... like she is some neighbour or office colleague abi

chidiokay:
. Aunty your paragraph no make any sense, you courted that was a enough time to process and prepare your mind & body for whats to come

when you say " I do" it means you have reached the final stage of processing and you are ready for whats to come, i can you be having unprotected sex n still be shocked getting pregnant ... doesnt make sense

There is an issue inside her she is not just spilling out, she is only using the pregnancy as a cover

Every other you wrote, honestly i wont want to insult you But whats that a man that had 2yrs patience no sex is still the villian inside marriage cos he asked for sex

You don't know this women. Very manipulative things but I don't even know why most men don't see it.

He should get side chick or threaten her with marrying second wife. I have two wives and I have ever experienced this kinda things.

Ozzyk:
I'm on 6 weeks leave immediately after our wedding
She resumes work the 3rd week after our wedding
Whenever she goes to work I do the cooking, and cleaning and other basic home duties before she comes back from work.
By the time she comes back she'd just eat press phone and sleep
But still all these doesn't yield anything positive
I stopped doing the home works since it yields nothing

So within 4 weeks of marriage, u don dey wash plate, cook food.... Smh.... Kai, which kine men we kon get for this era. Wash plate for a new wife.. Like wash plate? Within one month? How do u feel doing that rubbish for a woman who doesn't even notice it cos she no send u.. It's her work. Stop washing plate... Stop it... If she can't wash it leave it. Be a man. If u start doing house chores this early, then u are already sending a wrong signal that u are not man enough to sit down and be served.
.
Stop washing plate. Don't cook. Don't... Na see finish

brain54:
If you waited for 2 years of courtship...

You should put back your waiting cap for 9 months of pregnancy.

By the way I am not a fan of no sex before marriage for the simple reason of sexual compatibility.

I believe these are part of things that should be observed during courtship.

Just be decent about it and not use it as excuse for waywardness!

He may not even have to wait 9 months. A woman who is repelled by sex during her first trimester can become a sex freak during her second. Op, just be patient. She'll come around. If she doesn't (every woman is different when she's pregnant), you can wait 9 months - 1 year.

Ozzyk:
She made a vow on the alter to satisfy her husband.....
If she she's not really into men she wouldn't have gotten married knowing what marriage entails
She's not a kid
She's fucking 26 and a graduate

Gay men get married to fulfill all righteousness
What makes you think Lesbians can do same?

Not saying she is, just a possibility.

NiRfreak:
Oga. This is not right at all
At the beginning of what should be your bonding time, she's playing games and manipulation....
These are what you should do.

1. Erase the fact you have in your head that she's godly or good or virgin. Erase it. It no longer count. Otherwise you won't be able to act as a man, even when u are hurting, ur emotional side will be emasculating you..
.
2. Approach the situation practically and zero your mind completely away from having sex with her. At least before marriage u dint die without sex. So don't let her use the sex card to turn u to her slave.
.
3. Insist on pregnancy test
4. Insist on DNA test after 9 months..... Just to get on her nerves and make her agitated that you may not trust her.
5 Don't try to please her, do the barest minimum and no special treat. I beg you, no special treat or outing meant to curry favor.
6 play the same game she's playing. And don't bother her for sex... and don't seek her attention.
7 don't sleep in same room at night..go sleep in the second room.
8 Create scene and lambast her if she tries to gaslight you or flip the script on you for behaving mean towards her. A woman should be able to see your anger expressed as a man when she crosses certain lie. Even if u can't express anger.. voice and act it... No go dey do gentle man for this situation o

Over times she will sit up if she realises u are not taking her manipulation.

But I bet you can't do this because u still see her as a saint who has ur best interest.. Lol.. But she's there manipulating you and trying to be the boss over you. If u don't flip the script, she will turn ur boss, u will have to obey anything she says, and she will make you beg for everything in that marriage

Exactly the card I play, no time. If the op refuse to play this card he will become vegetable and have no say in his home. This kinda woman don't deserve gentility.