₦airaland Forum

natedensel:
My mum died not long ago, and my dad has a hand in her demise because her marriage was a turbulent one and she died of HBP, now shortly after she died, my dad came along with one woman who is very bold and shameless, first off she already has children from another fling not marriage, and now she comes and sleeps over, infact she's not discreet about it she's bold, brazen and doesn't feel ashamed of what she's doing.

Recently she has gotten more relaxed , she used to mind her business, she comes and do her thing and leaves, now she overstays, and she's now meddling in our family affairs, trying to mom me and my siblings now, then turning our dad away from us, now my dad sponsors her and her child from another relationship but neglects us like he did our mom.

I could easily make life miserable for her but I am not interested because I'm moving out as soon as possible, but what about my siblings, she has taken over everything and now she's my father's voice.

Your dad is a finished man

Kobojunkie:
1. She is not a lovepeddler, but your father's desire. The reason she is with your father is because your father desires and maybe even loves her. Your animosity towards her is misdirected because you are too afraid to confront your father for his choice in women.

You are probably one of those kids who placed their fathers on some sort of pedestal, and are having a fit because you finally see he is just a human being with a preek at the end of the day.

2. She is not controlling your family. Your father brought her in and allowed her do to you what she is doing, and if you have a problem with it, you need to grow a backbone and confront your father for this.

3. She is supposedly your father's voice because your father gave her permission — by your father's authority— to be his voice. If you don't like that, and you are truly serious about nipping this in the bud, then go confront your father. He, again, is the reason why that woman is in your life. There is no other reason.

See as you de talk all this things like say he easy, na cause e never do you, you go know say all this grammar na fallacy

Robenna:
➜See as you de talk all this things like say he easy, na cause e never do you, you go know say all this grammar na fallacy

The truth is bitter... if you can't handle it, then I am afraid you have a long way to go in your journey to maturity.

natedensel:
You read my mind, I'm already house hunting because what I see daily is enough to ruin my sanity, like immoral stuff, but trust me I won't leave without a fight, I must wreck damage.

Fighting your dad or his new sweetie would do neither you nor your siblings any good.

The only reason I can hint at for your dad not handling your siblings' school fees is your stance of being against the woman.

If you're old and mature to take Care of your younger ones, you can call your dad to a personal discussion that you would be leaving for your own place. You can give the reason that you don't like the way fights have been happening and this way, peace would given a chance.

I believe he would appreciate and support you being manly and mature on this. If and when you are better off, you can have your younger ones move in with you.

Shouting at him or accusing sweetie would not achieve anything good. Move on to achieve your own greatness.

Wishing you well - Teemy

That children might be your halve brothers and sisters... That is the thing that is beating the drum for her ..

yes sir

Kobojunkie:
You mean the woman in your situation killed your father and fled with his property?

id4sho:
➜yes sir

What did you do after all of that?

As you're doing DNA to confirm if the woman's child belongs to your father also consider doing one to be sure your mum didn't have her children for another man

your gender, no worry yourself

pocohantas:
No wonder...

ive recovered some properties, trying to recover the priced ones in Abuja

Kobojunkie:
What did you do after all of that?

id4sho:
➜ive recovered some properties, trying to recover the priced ones in Abuja

I guess my question is really how did she steal the properties without your father literally giving them or signing them over to her? Do you know how she was able to engineer that in Nigeria?

McBishop2020:
This is just a master piece and a killer stroke. You and smart spirits eat from the same plate.

I dey tell you.

Steveagro:
As you're doing DNA to confirm if the woman's child belongs to your father also consider doing one to be sure your mum didn't have her children for another man

Haa bro have feelings nau.

kodded:
op needs to admit his father to ghen ghen University asap

Lol you play too much.

He didnt give her, she fled with the documents shortly after his burial. we didnt have any single document with us, properties are easily sold if the original titles are in wrong hands. 2 hectares of estate land has been sold by her.

Kobojunkie:
I guess my question is really how did she steal the properties without your father literally giving them or signing them over to her? Do you know how she was able to engineer that in Nigeria?

CoronaVirusPro:
As it stands today, if anything happens to your dad, are you the next of kin?

Very important question.

nasonaso:
Take her picture and post it here. We will take it from there.

Natedensel your attention is needed.

id4sho:
➜He didnt give her, she fled with the documents shortly after his burial.
➜ we didnt have any single document with us, properties are easily sold if the original titles are in wrong hands. 2 hectares of estate land has been sold by her.

So, simply stealing the documents is all that is necessary in this case to even sell them?

2. Isn't the signature(and presence in some cases) of the current title holder necessary for transfer of land from one hand to another?

natedensel:
I dropped out of school for a while because he refused to pay for something, I worked myself to God knows what before I was able to resume, he doesn't do anything in my life, I don't begrudge him, and I am not accountable to him either and he couldn't do anything about it because he lost the right to have any say in my life due to past transgressions and for that reason we're not close, so talking to him is out of it, I am not complaining because of me, like I said he doesn't do anything for me, I just want him to be fair to the little ones who can't stand up to him.

Kobojunkie this is also part of the reason, he can't follow your advice through and through.

WebLab:
Take your father to Justice Court, they will make him committed to his responsibility. That's the only way you can help yourself and your siblings.

Here is not America but it may help.
Natedensel for your attention. What State is your family based if I may ask?

Segzy19:
Be wise and circumspect in this situation.

Have you tried talking to your dad? Of course in a respectful and reasonable way.
Don't judge him, don't castigate him over his choice of woman... Simply tell him that you respect his decision but one thing you want from him is that he should not neglect his duties towards you and your siblings.... Inasmuch as he does that I don't think that you have problems.

Again, I don't know how old you are but then you will have to be smart and take certain steps.
1. Don't confront the woman in anyway. You may do that spiritually through prayers anyway

2. Be very observant. Observe all her moves but without letting it be obvious to her that you are observing her...

3. If your dad has documents of properties etc and you know where he has kept them, you may relocate them. Such women may have hidden agenda to take over everything. Your dad won't even know when he will hand over everything to her, and you guys will be completely stripped off whenever he does... So you have to be smart and bold

4. Keep praying for your dad. Prayer works especially IF he is under any kind of spell

5. I won't advise that you move out except if your siblings are old and strong enough to look after themselves alone while living with the woman. Exiting the house, you are giving the woman more space and ground to gain...

6. Find a family member or relative that your dad respects and confidence in such person to help you intervene without the person betraying you as his/her informant.

You just have to be circumspect and tactful sha. Don't use youthful gra GRA to handle the situation o. The primary problem is your dad while the woman is your secondary problem... I'm not sure that you would have complained if the woman is a decent and reasonable woman

Good advice, Thumbs up.

WhizdomXX:
➜ this is also part of the reason, he can't follow your advice through and through.

I am not certain I follow.

Lekby25:
There is a very serious problem here, if your father and you never step into a church. You better go and give your life to Jesus first, then accept Him as your Lord and Saviour, build yourself up spiritually before concerning yourself with family matters, or else you are risking your life.

Seconded.

Kobojunkie:
I am not certain I follow.

He gave some reasons why talking to his dad is out of it. I don't support those reasons though.

WhizdomXX:
➜He gave some reasons why talking to his dad is out of it. I don't support those reasons though.

A man is intentionally neglecting his duty as a father, and you are telling me that there are reasons why he should not be confronted? 😏

If OP's father were instead a neighbor whose children's condition have been left to deteriorate as a result of neglect from their father, would you also advice OP not to talk to the man about his behavior?

Anyways, I simply told @OP to do is focus his energy and anger on his father— he is the source of his frustration— and not the woman who is only there because his father wants her there.

natedensel:
You read my mind, I'm already house hunting because what I see daily is enough to ruin my sanity, like immoral stuff, but trust me I won't leave without a fight, I must wreck damage.

Bro some men are so funny. Do you have anyone he listens to in your family? Or in your mums family?

The easiest way to get your dad to at least start performing his responsibilities for your siblings is by involving your kinsmen. E go hard for him to leave that woman.

natedensel:
My mum died not long ago, and my dad has a hand in her demise because her marriage was a turbulent one and she died of HBP, now shortly after she died, my dad came along with one woman who is very bold and shameless, first off she already has children from another fling not marriage, and now she comes and sleeps over, infact she's not discreet about it she's bold, brazen and doesn't feel ashamed of what she's doing.

Recently she has gotten more relaxed , she used to mind her business, she comes and do her thing and leaves, now she overstays, and she's now meddling in our family affairs, trying to mom me and my siblings now, then turning our dad away from us, now my dad sponsors her and her child from another relationship but neglects us like he did our mom.

I could easily make life miserable for her but I am not interested because I'm moving out as soon as possible, but what about my siblings, she has taken over everything and now she's my father's voice.

Only few things you can do like this;
1. You didn't act on time, you could have influenced your Dad's choice.
2. You might not succeed in the tussel on who controls your Dad.(You, your siblings and the new lady)
3. You can reconcile with the lady, make peace and move on, with that you can influence your Dad through her .
Sorry to say this, your Dad is the problem!

Kobojunkie:
A man is intentionally neglecting his duty as a father, and you are telling me that there are reasons why he should not be confronted? 😏

If OP's father were instead a neighbor whose children's condition have been left to deteriorate as a result of neglect from their father, would you also advice OP not to talk to the man about his behavior?

Anyways, I simply told @OP to do is focus his energy and anger on his father— he is the source of his frustration— and not the woman who is only there because his father wants her there.

Chairperson I don't support his reasons oo they're all amenable.

WhizdomXX:
➜Chairperson I don't support his reasons oo they're all amenable.

OK! I am just saying that if a child is not bold enough to confront his own father for his hubris, then who should or would? Why should such a child confront anyone else?

Confront an African parents😂😂😂
Easier said than done😂
🚶‍♂️