₦airaland Forum

natedensel:
My mum died not long ago, and my dad has a hand in her demise because her marriage was a turbulent one and she died of HBP, now shortly after she died, my dad came along with one woman who is very bold and shameless, first off she already has children from another fling not marriage, and now she comes and sleeps over, infact she's not discreet about it she's bold, brazen and doesn't feel ashamed of what she's doing.

Recently she has gotten more relaxed , she used to mind her business, she comes and do her thing and leaves, now she overstays, and she's now meddling in our family affairs, trying to mom me and my siblings now, then turning our dad away from us, now my dad sponsors her and her child from another relationship but neglects us like he did our mom.

I could easily make life miserable for her but I am not interested because I'm moving out as soon as possible, but what about my siblings, she has taken over everything and now she's my father's voice.

Dont allow that woman make you to take a decision you can't defend, don't go too close to her but let her know that you are not interested with what brought her into your family

Since you are packing out do so quickly and later on, sort out your siblings or keep assisting them from your own end

Seat dad and your siblings down and let dad know that the pains of your mother's demise is still in you people's mind and he went and brought in a woman that is now making life hard for yo all

Also let him know that he has already divided the family by doing so

There after let him, let h know that you are done talking

If he is wise he will count his teeth with his tongue

ArcSEMPECJ:
Sometimes when people talk , I find it difficult to understand the understanding that they lack the knowledge of what is fighting them...

The deep cause of what is fighting you is not physically manipulated , inshort if you try anything physically, your Father will chase you out of that his house...

You need to go seek for a Greater power, go Spiritual, talk to God in prayers, declare a spiritual war to claim and reclaim your possession in the family , give yourself fasting, check in the bible, Bible verses that deals with manipulation and house hold enemies, and deal with them immediately....

Also know it that the woman has been in the background since, what she gave your Father is not today, she is only manifesting now in the Physical after winning your Father in the Spiritual.... just know you don't have a Father for now but someone manipulated from the dark world....

If you don't know how to pray, go to your Church if they are grounded in prayers and make a request, the fight is not a Physical battle ...you will lose if you fight physically Sir...

Command her to leave your family by fire 🔥 of the Ghost Spirit...be prayerful,

He said himself and his father have never entered any church before. He said he doesn't need Jesus for anything

natedensel:
My mum died not long ago, and my dad has a hand in her demise because her marriage was a turbulent one and she died of HBP, now shortly after she died, my dad came along with one woman who is very bold and shameless, first off she already has children from another fling not marriage, and now she comes and sleeps over, infact she's not discreet about it she's bold, brazen and doesn't feel ashamed of what she's doing.

Recently she has gotten more relaxed , she used to mind her business, she comes and do her thing and leaves, now she overstays, and she's now meddling in our family affairs, trying to mom me and my siblings now, then turning our dad away from us, now my dad sponsors her and her child from another relationship but neglects us like he did our mom.

I could easily make life miserable for her but I am not interested because I'm moving out as soon as possible, but what about my siblings, she has taken over everything and now she's my father's voice.

Bro, it sometimes causes pains that one sweet home with good memories is now a shamble of itself, I wanna believe at this point you have not made money and probably not started a family of your own.

This is a lesson for you to learn from, bro move on with your life, learn a skills, make money, occupy yourself with positivity and look out for your siblings you will be fine just leave your dad with his decisions, you would someday father a child learn from the sufferings.

Kobojunkie:
1. She is not a lovepeddler, but your father's desire. The reason she is with your father is because your father desires and maybe even loves her. Your animosity towards her is misdirected because you are too afraid to confront your father for his choice in women.

You are probably one of those kids who placed their fathers on some sort of pedestal, and are having a fit because you finally see he is just a human being with a preek at the end of the day.

2. She is not controlling your family. Your father brought her in and allowed her do to you what she is doing, and if you have a problem with it, you need to grow a backbone and confront your father for this.

3. She is supposedly your father's voice because your father gave her permission — by your father's authority— to be his voice. If you don't like that, and you are truly serious about nipping this in the bud, then go confront your father. He, again, is the reason why that woman is in your life. There is no other reason.

After all these plenty talk, no advice or suggestions as usual.

@op. Are you male or female? Give me me age bracket for you and your siblings. Let's start from there

Sha dey prepare money down to bury your Papa....
Na your Papa go find trouble
E don carry wood wey get ant enter house
The woman no get fault ooooooo
Blame your papa
That thing wey your papa dey find up and down
E don finally jam am

natedensel:
she's not, there's no way my dad has a teenage child, if she was younger it'll be plausible, I'm the first and I'm still young, if she is his child it means she had her for my dad before my dad even met my mum, for someone who came into the pic months ago, secondly her mum doesn't hide the fact that she had her for someone else, nor does she look like anyone in our family, my dad taking care of another mans illegitimate child because of kitty is not strange to you then I'm done with this talk.

Dnt bother yrsef iexplaining. Everybody shud always pray not to meet a bad woman. The day u do ur finish.

natedensel:
My mum died not long ago, and my dad has a hand in her demise because her marriage was a turbulent one and she died of HBP, now shortly after she died, my dad came along with one woman who is very bold and shameless, first off she already has children from another fling not marriage, and now she comes and sleeps over, infact she's not discreet about it she's bold, brazen and doesn't feel ashamed of what she's doing.

Recently she has gotten more relaxed , she used to mind her business, she comes and do her thing and leaves, now she overstays, and she's now meddling in our family affairs, trying to mom me and my siblings now, then turning our dad away from us, now my dad sponsors her and her child from another relationship but neglects us like he did our mom.

I could easily make life miserable for her but I am not interested because I'm moving out as soon as possible, but what about my siblings, she has taken over everything and now she's my father's voice.

Woooo...Let me tell you something. The truth is that woman has cast a spell on your father and the only thing you can do is to pray for him. I have a friend who once found himself in this very situation. The father abandoned them and went after another woman and his behaviour was not any different from what you stated.
It was with prayers that the spell was broken, and on a certain day, the man that was a puppet in the hands of the woman suddenly realized himself and used his own hands to chase the nonsense woman and her kids, who are products of other men, out of his house.

natedensel:
She comes, get plunked and leaves, no one cares, now she's a live in love peddler.

Lol...this guy

[did u want to marry your dad? Allow the poor man to live d rest of his life on earth peacefully, beside u never state how he killed ur mum

quote author=natedensel post=137192794]The problem is why can't she just LovePeddler herself and leave, why is she now trying to control a family she just invaded few months ago, now she's diverting every support my siblings are supposed to get from their father for her and her child, her grown up teenage child, did you read what I wrote at all? She's now my father's voice like she speaks for him now, isn't it logical to nip this in the bud before it becomes rooted.[/quote]

Onegai:
OP, look for the wisest, richest family member you have (Nigerians respect money like mad) and ask him/her to speak to your dad, very calmly.

The person should tell your father: "this love will finish and in your old age, you'll look for your children to support you but they'll tell you to follow the love that made you chase them away".

Then let the rich person very symbolically, in front of the woman, wash his/hands in a bowl of water (Nigerians fear symbolic religious gestures) and say loudly "I will take these children and make them great! And their prayers and glory will be mine!". Then leave calmly and dignified.

You and your siblings should cry, act afraid, enter room and loudly do devotion.

Let no relative come and visit your dad.

Once that seed has been planted in your father's head, don't stress him. Let the women unravel by continuing being shameless (she will desperately try to hold onto your dad with sexxx and manipulation).

Watch your father get more quiet. Then maybe sabotage his car in 2 months (half packet of Dangote sugar in his fuel tank, plant 2 nails in his front tyre another time etc), just be doing small small stuff (mess with the NEPA wiring, eye drop in his medicine so he will have stomach ache etc), that looks like spiritual attack whilst reminding him of your relative's words. Let your youngest call your dad one afternoon in his room and say "Daddy, I had a bad dream, please can we pray together, let me pray for you" (ideally this should come after some months of sabotage, once seed has germinated into a plant )

Make your papa dey fear.

Gbam.

Your father is not going to hear word now because she's influencing him to join in her shamelessness. A good woman would encourage a man to take care of all the kids, she will be worried that the man is neglecting his kids (even if it's just because she doesn't want curses on her life). She's not a good person.

Correct person. I feel you.

dauntless15:
A.

@OP
I aptly align with this submission. In fact, I had to sign-in to Nairaland after a very long time staying signed out just to affirm this submission. It's bizarre that some people are insensitive to the OP's situation and those of his siblings under this circumstance. This goes a long way in telling how exactly we are losing it.

natedensel:
My mum died not long ago, and my dad has a hand in her demise because her marriage was a turbulent one and she died of HBP, now shortly after she died, my dad came along with one woman who is very bold and shameless, first off she already has children from another fling not marriage, and now she comes and sleeps over, infact she's not discreet about it she's bold, brazen and doesn't feel ashamed of what she's doing.

Recently she has gotten more relaxed , she used to mind her business, she comes and do her thing and leaves, now she overstays, and she's now meddling in our family affairs, trying to mom me and my siblings now, then turning our dad away from us, now my dad sponsors her and her child from another relationship but neglects us like he did our mom.

I could easily make life miserable for her but I am not interested because I'm moving out as soon as possible, but what about my siblings, she has taken over everything and now she's my father's voice.

Just one question....

(1) How old are you and are you a male or female?

natedensel:
She's not a widow, she's a woman who has a child out of wedlock, a child who's a teenager, a child my dad is now sponsoring while refusing to pay my siblings school fee and other things, as for me I never get a penny from him I'm an orphan at this point cuz he's not even there, I'm just pained for my siblings who are not able to take care of themselves yet.

Are you the first child and son in your family?

Talk to your dad man to man and stop wailing endlessly here because it's obvious that woman is controlling your dad with her to. To

natedensel:
My mum died not long ago, and my dad has a hand in her demise because her marriage was a turbulent one and she died of HBP, now shortly after she died, my dad came along with one woman who is very bold and shameless, first off she already has children from another fling not marriage, and now she comes and sleeps over, infact she's not discreet about it she's bold, brazen and doesn't feel ashamed of what she's doing.

Recently she has gotten more relaxed , she used to mind her business, she comes and do her thing and leaves, now she overstays, and she's now meddling in our family affairs, trying to mom me and my siblings now, then turning our dad away from us, now my dad sponsors her and her child from another relationship but neglects us like he did our mom.

I could easily make life miserable for her but I am not interested because I'm moving out as soon as possible, but what about my siblings, she has taken over everything and now she's my father's voice.

Don't engage in what you didn't start. Wisdom is profitable for living. If you can move out and lift no finger to fight. Your siblings are not your sole responsibility, you did not bring them to the world. So do your best and leave the rest. Dey your dey and let your dad and his new found love dey their dey.

Kobojunkie:
1. She is not a lovepeddler, but your father's desire. The reason she is with your father is because your father desires and maybe even loves her. Your animosity towards her is misdirected because you are too afraid to confront your father for his choice in women.

You are probably one of those kids who placed their fathers on some sort of pedestal, and are having a fit because you finally see he is just a human being with a preek at the end of the day.

2. She is not controlling your family. Your father brought her in and allowed her do to you what she is doing, and if you have a problem with it, you need to grow a backbone and confront your father for this.

3. She is supposedly your father's voice because your father gave her permission — by your father's authority— to be his voice. If you don't like that, and you are truly serious about nipping this in the bud, then go confront your father. He, again, is the reason why that woman is in your life. There is no other reason.

You are all saying what you are saying because you haven't been in OP's shoes.

I have been there and I perfectly understand his plight.

inforesource:
Don't engage in what you didn't start. Wisdom is profitable for living. If you can move out and lift no finger to fight. Your siblings are not your sole responsibility, you did not bring them to the world. So do your best and leave the rest. Dey your dey and let your dad and his new found love dey their dey.

Best advice. Op if you like go and stand your father, I promise you won’t get your desired outcome.
A wise is enough for the word abi how una Dey talk am
Jokes aside, this is the best option if you don’t want more curses and hatred🤞
🚶‍♂️

grandstar:
The situation is very complex. Your dad is madly in love with this woman and she is ready to do what it takes to hold on to him. Worse, she knows what to do

It might be best you turn to the Bible for advice. It is where you get the best advice (Read Psalms 19:11, Isaiah 55:8,9)

Make peace with the woman.

Let the woman know that she and her child would enjoy themselves in your dad's house but with a caveat: your needs and those of your siblings are not neglected. She's an ass because she feels that's the only way she can hold on to your dad. Let her know that she and her child would have no problem. Perhaps, talk to her son as well. Mothers always want their child protected. You can even add the caveat that one day you and your siblings will leave the house to them.

Just go all the way to make peace with her (Read Matthew 5:38-42)

Talk to your dad. Tell him you know he is lonely after the death of your mum (just say some bullshit). Tell him he has the right to move on. Tell him you want a peaceful house. A house filled with endless quarrels can lead to HBP or a stroke. It is an outcome she too wouldn't like.

The woman unbeknownst to you needs legitimacy, and she can only get it with your endorsement. Acceptance matters to her. It establishes her in the house and she is no longer just seen as an unwelcome usurper. If you promise her no drama and no interference with her and your dad, she might begin to come around. Tell her to also fight for your interests as well with your dad because men under the lovebug can become neglectful. Your siblings can even be calling her mummy.

Don't be bothered if your dad treats her and her child as first class citizens and you second class. It is not a contest. Just focus on your needs and that of your siblings being met. Don't demand too much. If the barest minimum is enough, such as feeding and school fees, then stick to that.

Seek win-win. You be nice to her child. Get him some nice treats. Love your enemies. It works. Read Matthew 5:43-48, Isaiah 55:8-9. His thoughts and His ways are far superior to ours.

There's nothing like peace of mind.

Weaklings always think a certain way, this is your advice? Op should welcome the parasite and make her feel at home? Do you even hear yourself, instead of seizing what's rightfully his right he should cower before the love peddler like a weak man, and give her more leverage and audacity to unleash more of what she's doing, small opportunity she got is already intoxicating her, imagine what she will do if OP rolls out the welcome mat like a weak man.

dauntless15:
Wow, I'm not the op but I've been glued to this thread because I also saw something similar happen in the past, and of all the comments in this thread yours is something else, I felt peace reading it, are you a therapist or something.

Yes I am a therapist.

dauntless15:
Same thing I said, it's easy to discern what's worth your time and not, and you can tell if someone's intelligence matches yours or if it even close, like I just discerned yours right now, and I decide if it's worth my time or not after I discern how intelligent you are, it's not rocket science nor did I insinuate anything, just pointing out There's a level of intelligence you need to have before I agree to interact with you and if it's not it, it's not it, what's hard to understand there bro.

Lol..For someone who can't even use punctuations correctly, you must be suffering from delusional superiority to think you are more intelligent.

You’re not trying to change him (he may be too far gone in denial or manipulation). You're:

Making sure he hears how his actions have impacted the family.

Asserting your boundaries clearly and calmly.

Making one effort to preserve your sibling connection.

Creating a record (if needed later) that you voiced concerns about his choices and her interference.

What to Prepare Before the Talk

Decide what you want from him: Not apologies, but maybe fair treatment, less interference with siblings, or a plan for the future.

Have one or two concrete examples of what hurt you and why — not to accuse, but to make it real.

Know your line: What you will not tolerate going forward (e.g., her disciplining your siblings, controlling communication, etc.).

How to Frame the Conversation

You want to stay calm, not because he deserves it, but because it keeps you in control. Here’s a structure: Open Calmly

“Dad, I want to talk to you about how things have been since Mum died. I’m not here to argue or disrespect you. I just want to say a few things plainly before I move forward with my own life.”

Set Emotional Truth- “Losing Mum was already hard enough. But seeing how fast everything changed — the new woman coming in, how things at home feel off, how she’s taking over — it’s been painful. For me and for my siblings.”

Share What’s Not OK

“It feels like we’ve been pushed aside while someone else has taken over — not just in your life, but in ours. She's not our mum, and we don't want her in that role. It’s disrespectful to Mum’s memory and to us.”

“She’s crossing boundaries — staying too long, trying to act like she has authority over us, and turning you against your own children. That’s not right.”

Define Your Boundary
“I’m moving out soon to protect my peace. I won’t accept being mistreated or manipulated, and I won’t be part of any family dynamic where my siblings are being sidelined or emotionally neglected.”

“I’ll still be there for my siblings and I’ll step in if I need to. But I need you to understand I’m not going to pretend this is normal or okay.”

Final Point

“You’re an adult and you can live how you want — but so am I. And I get to choose how I respond to how you treat us. If this woman is going to be part of your life, she needs to stay in her lane.”

“We only get one family. I hope you’ll think about what that’s supposed to mean, because I won’t chase after you to remind you.”

natedensel:
Thanks, I needed that.

After You Move Out: Navigating Boundaries

Once you’re out, your control increases. But you’ll want to stay grounded and intentional. Here’s how:

1. No more casual visits or small talk
Only engage with your dad on specific matters: your siblings’ well-being, financial issues, or estate matters.

Example boundary text: “Dad, I won’t be coming around just to ‘hang out’ anymore. If there’s something important to discuss, I’m here — otherwise I’m keeping my space.”

2. Protect communication with your siblings
Keep private communication channels open: group chats, voice notes, scheduled check-ins.

If the woman is interfering, address it directly: “I don’t want her relaying messages or inserting herself between me and my siblings. That’s family business.”

3. Document everything calmly
If she starts trying to control siblings’ choices, punish them unfairly, or manipulate finances, document it and keep backup.

This helps if you ever need to involve child protection services or challenge any estate decisions later.

4. Make an exit plan for your siblings (if needed)
Depending on their age, you might want to:

Help them access therapy or school counselors.

Store important documents (birth certs, IDs, etc.) with you.

Have an emergency contact system if things escalate at home.

If He Reacts Badly

He might get defensive, angry, or deny everything. That’s OK.

You only need to say: “I didn’t come here to argue. I came to speak my truth. If you’re not willing to hear it, that’s your choice. But I said what I needed to.”

Then walk away — with your power intact.

You don’t owe your father tolerance of disrespect or manipulation.
You don’t have to accept this woman in your life, let alone your family.
But you do have the right to:

Speak your truth.

Protect your siblings.

Leave when you're ready — and do it without guilt.

she is a lady with different husband

natedensel:
I just tire for this guy, I heard you rest.

We4all:
Lol..For someone who can't even use punctuations correctly, you must be suffering from delusional superiority to think you are more intelligent.

And punctuating with all seriousness on an anonymous online forum translates to intelligence, lmao, you're even slower than the other one , this would be my last response to you sha.

AngelSlay:
Yes I am a therapist.

Thought as much, you're good at it.

DiarisGodoo:
Why are you suddenly calling a "love peddler" sweetie? Are you perchance a hoe?

We are all hoe to someone. And when that person is attacked, we throw away all rationale and defend* our beloved. That is the origin of the problems in this case.

If OP had addressed his dad based on his financial obligations to the younger ones, it would not have gotten to this. But putting his sweetie* into the same conversation would not yield anything.

His focus should be on what he wants, not who he wants to fight.

This is where a lot of men don't have sense. Because of the love of sex, yansh and pussy, you neglect your own children and turn into puppet in the hands of one Olosho woman.
And the men that do this shit are ones that have small change currently at hand but refused to think about the future. When the small money vanishes, the harlot of a woman will disappear, the man will become sick and dying and will now be expecting the children he neglected to come to his aid.
I have seen this countless times....

dauntless15:
And punctuating with all seriousness on an anonymous online forum translates to intelligence, lmao, you're even slower than the other one , this would be my last response to you sha.

At the emboldened...So, if that's what you think, why did you call someone unintelligent since it is an anonymous forum and the person might just be trolling or fooling around with all level of unseriousness? Since it was on this same anonymous forum that you claimed to be intelligent, the little you could have done was to prove it with your intelligent writing that encompasses perfect grammar, rich vocabulary, and well used punctuations. Now, you are making excuses for your inadequacies and masking it with obnoxious remarks. I guess, I am supposed to feel bad about that.

Lekby25:
He said himself and his father have never entered any church before. He said he doesn't need Jesus for anything

Why will you enter into this soul to speak against the liberation of this young Man

Is it not written that even the lawful captive shall be set free

Even if he has not been going to Church, is his deliverance no longer for him

Be guided, let the young Man be set free now...

Your father brought her in and has given her legitimate access. When she's done with him, she'd discard him like a used rag and go on to the next one. That's when your dad will realise what he has done to himself and it will unfortunately be too late. Please take your siblings along if you have the means

gigabyte13:
Sha dey prepare money down to bury your Papa....
Na your Papa go find trouble
E don carry wood wey get ant enter house
The woman no get fault ooooooo
Blame your papa
That thing wey your papa dey find up and down
E don finally jam am

Unfortunately that man might lose his life in the process or develops serious health complications.

Kobojunkie:
1. She is not a lovepeddler, but your father's desire. The reason she is with your father is because your father desires and maybe even loves her. Your animosity towards her is misdirected because you are too afraid to confront your father for his choice in women.

You are probably one of those kids who placed their fathers on some sort of pedestal, and are having a fit because you finally see he is just a human being with a preek at the end of the day.

2. She is not controlling your family. Your father brought her in and allowed her do to you what she is doing, and if you have a problem with it, you need to grow a backbone and confront your father for this.

3. She is supposedly your father's voice because your father gave her permission — by your father's authority— to be his voice. If you don't like that, and you are truly serious about nipping this in the bud, then go confront your father. He, again, is the reason why that woman is in your life. There is no other reason.

Are you for real ,he should confront his dad?.That's absurd morally and culturally is out of place .Perhaps you are one of the olori pelebe that wakes their parents with scissor kicks.

DiarisGodoo:
Ok, but how does any of this turn a declared "love peddler" into "sweetie"? She's NOT a hoe to someone. She's simply a hoe, community hoe

To be exact, OP only mentioned she is a baby mama and this does not translate to community prostitute.

We could drag hoe and cutlass as far as we want but let's not forget the OP came here for help and having to overlook that is one of the solutions for him to get what he wants which is sanity for himself and better welfare for his younger ones.