₦airaland Forum

Nnamdipapa:
Sometimes, when you think you’re running toward a dream, you might just be running away from peace.

It is what it is.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1DKWDRgzZW/

chatinent:
Have you considered coming back to Nigeria make another person go?

chatinent:
Have you considered coming back to Nigeria make another person go?

chatinent:
Have you considered coming back to Nigeria make another person go?

Nnamdipapa:
Lots of people are coming back and their coming back does not give you access to go. People are only narating their life experiences to show the grass is not always greener on the other side. We are back in Nigeria and my kids are happier here.

Nnamdipapa:
✓ Then came the children, our pride and joy. We were determined to give them the best. We worked so hard just to keep them in good schools. But with time, something changed. The same children we sacrificed everything for started drifting away. The values we grew up with in Nigeria which is respect, community, humility which began to fade in their own lives. They questioned every correction. “Daddy, you can’t talk to me like that, it’s abuse.” “Mummy, this is my right.”

We couldn’t even discipline them without fear. Teachers, social workers, and school authorities were quick to interfere. Back home, it takes a village to raise a child; here, it takes caution not to lose your child to the system. Our weekends were no longer for family bonding, my wife had back-to-back shifts, and I was constantly calculating bills: rent, council tax, electricity, food, transportation… everything had a price tag. The “soft life” we imagined abroad turned out to be an endless cycle of work and worry.

Now, sometimes when I talk to my friends back home who envy me, I just shake my head. They see the pictures, not the pressure. They see the pounds, not the pain.
If I’m being honest, there are nights I lie awake and whisper to myself, “Did I really make the right decision?” I wanted a better future for my children but in chasing that dream, I lost parts of myself, my culture, and sometimes, even my peace.
Don’t get me wrong, the UK gave me exposure, structure, and some comfort. But it also took something from me, something I may never get back.

If I could go back in time, maybe… just maybe… I would have stayed in Nigeria, built gradually, and raised my children close to our roots.
This isn’t to discourage anyone. It’s just a reminder that abroad is not heaven, it’s another battlefield.
Sometimes, when you think you’re running toward a dream, you might just be running away from peace.

eniolorunfe:
I thought I was going to read that the writer and family have returned to Naija lol

Kobojunkie:
This is a typical example of a terrible Nigerian parent. Yes, Tunde is an example of a terrible parent to his children. 🤔🤔

Nnamdipapa:
✓ Lots of people are coming back and their coming back does not give you access to go. People are only narating their life experiences to show the grass is not always greener on the other side. We are back in Nigeria and my kids are happier here.

Kobojunkie:
They never do. They always seek ways to blame abroad and everyone else for their incompetence and lack of abilities as parents. 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
Coming back to where? Which coming back? 🥱🥱🥱

WarrenP:
Nigerians with useless complains, nobody force una japa yet una go still go there set ring lights dey lament.

Nnamdipapa:
✓ I am back with my family, I know instances of more than five families who are back in Nigeria. What are you talking about?

Kobojunkie:
You and your children are right now in Nigeria? 🥱🥱🥱

Nnamdipapa:
➜No, we are back in Cameroon.

Kobojunkie:
You are down there on vacation, aren't you, because less than 6 weeks ago, you mentioned you were heading down there for vacation? I recall you creating a thread right after you landed.
https://www.nairaland.com/8511116/what-think-n10000-ukwa

Nnamdipapa:
➜I am back and already registering my kids in school here. I so far so good, the kids love it. I want to give a try for at least one year to see how it works. I still work from home in Nigeria though.
I let them decide if they love to stay in Nigeria or not.

Kobojunkie:
You got back in September and are now about registering your kids in school in November, when schools are getting ready to close for the term, abi which schools you dey talk of?

Double0h7:
This just showcases the insatiable nature of humans. He has the opportunity that millions will kill for and he’s complaining that life is hard. Life is hard everywhere! Africa, India, Europe, etc all have their own challenges. There’s nowhere on earth that life won’t touch you. The lesson is gratitude for what you have, and accepting life on life’s terms.

chatinent:
Have you considered coming back to Nigeria make another person go?

Walklifeman:
This is not right. Emigration is not a zero sum game. Somebody does not have to come back before another gets the chance to go. People are allowed to share their experience without people like you turning it into whatever it is you are trying to do.
It is good posts like these are made so everyone realizes japa is not always the dream it is made out to be. You can travel it you want to but know it would not always be as rosy as some people would have you believe.
Thank you.

Walklifeman:
This is not right. Emigration is not a zero sum game. Somebody does not have to come back before another gets the chance to go. People are allowed to share their experience without people like you turning it into whatever it is you are trying to do.
It is good posts like these are made so everyone realizes japa is not always the dream it is made out to be. You can travel it you want to but know it would not always be as rosy as some people would have you believe.
Thank you.

Nnamdipapa:
I Regretted Travelling and Training My Children Abroad

When I look back now, sometimes I just sit and sigh deeply. If someone had told me that travelling abroad would come with this kind of hidden price, I would have argued. My name is Tunde, a married man from Nigeria, and this is my truth.

When we first landed in the UK, everything looked perfect, the neat streets, the calm weather, the polite smiles. My wife and I believed we had finally arrived at the “promised land.” I remember saying, “Omo, we don make am!” But we didn’t know that survival here isn’t about how fast you run, it’s about how long you can endure.

At first, we struggled to get decent accommodation, landlords wanted proof of income, and jobs weren’t easy to come by without “UK experience.” My wife, a graduate back home, started working as a cleaner in a care home. I, too, joined the hustle , doing night shifts in warehouses, sometimes two jobs at once. Sleep became a luxury. We smiled in pictures for family back home, but behind those smiles were swollen feet and endless bills.

Then came the children, our pride and joy. We were determined to give them the best. We worked so hard just to keep them in good schools. But with time, something changed. The same children we sacrificed everything for started drifting away. The values we grew up with in Nigeria which is respect, community, humility which began to fade in their own lives. They questioned every correction. “Daddy, you can’t talk to me like that, it’s abuse.” “Mummy, this is my right.”

We couldn’t even discipline them without fear. Teachers, social workers, and school authorities were quick to interfere. Back home, it takes a village to raise a child; here, it takes caution not to lose your child to the system. Our weekends were no longer for family bonding, my wife had back-to-back shifts, and I was constantly calculating bills: rent, council tax, electricity, food, transportation… everything had a price tag. The “soft life” we imagined abroad turned out to be an endless cycle of work and worry.

Now, sometimes when I talk to my friends back home who envy me, I just shake my head. They see the pictures, not the pressure. They see the pounds, not the pain.
If I’m being honest, there are nights I lie awake and whisper to myself, “Did I really make the right decision?” I wanted a better future for my children but in chasing that dream, I lost parts of myself, my culture, and sometimes, even my peace.
Don’t get me wrong, the UK gave me exposure, structure, and some comfort. But it also took something from me, something I may never get back.

If I could go back in time, maybe… just maybe… I would have stayed in Nigeria, built gradually, and raised my children close to our roots.
This isn’t to discourage anyone. It’s just a reminder that abroad is not heaven, it’s another battlefield.
Sometimes, when you think you’re running toward a dream, you might just be running away from peace.

It is what it is.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1DKWDRgzZW/