₦airaland Forum

Believe me I learnt from your experience. If not for bad government I don't see any reason to relocate to abroad Nigeria politicians are desalter earthquake to Nigerians as a whole

They questioned every correction. “Daddy, you can’t talk to me like that, it’s abuse.” “Mummy, this is my right.”

The traditional idea of discipline that a lot of Nigerian parents hold, borders on mental and physical abuse.

Yes they might have good intentions, but it is possible to do the wrong thing with good intentions.

The hate is real!

Not a single person empathized with the writer, rather, you're insulting or mocking him. Haba? Nigerians and bad belleism.

Somebody is expressing his pain and anguish, the least you guys could do is to empathize with him. Where's the humanity?

Na wa for Nigerians o!

That was not my story, and for me, I never regretted going abroad; my regret was staying too long. I should have returned once I got my citizenship and worked for ten years to be eligible for their pension. The way to enjoy abroad is when you try to live the best of both worlds and not just be stuck overseas.

dollypi:
They questioned every correction. “Daddy, you can’t talk to me like that, it’s abuse.” “Mummy, this is my right.”

The traditional idea of discipline that a lot of Nigerian parents hold, borders on mental and physical abuse.

Yes they might have good intentions, but it is possible to do the wrong thing with good intentions.

The current population of Nigeria today, including the political class is all the proof one needs to realizing that the traditional idea of discipline that a lot of Nigerian parents hold is detrimental not only to the adults the children grow to become but to the nation as a whole.

ravensckar:
The hate is real!
Not a single person empathized with the writer, rather, you're insulting or mocking him. Haba? Nigerians and bad belleism.
Somebody is expressing his pain and anguish, the least you guys could do is to empathize with him. Where's the humanity?
Na wa for Nigerians o!

His so-called pain is self- inflicted, not abroad inflicted. 🥱🥱🥱

Nnamdipapa:
That was not my story, and for me, I never regretted going abroad; my regret was staying too long. I should have returned once I got my citizenship and worked for ten years to be eligible for their pension. The way to enjoy abroad is when you try to live the best of both worlds and not just be stuck overseas.

now you have made a point. Without british passport or ilr no point coming back.

All these ChatGPT fables.

I lived in the UK for a while. I saw a handful of Nigerian Brits who, for some reason, embraced their heritage. One I knew was 19 years of age and routinely dobale’d anytime he saw me. It confused me. He still had many British tendencies. He could disrespect an elder if there was need and threw punches to protect himself. His baseline, however, was a calm and easygoing demenour. He didn’t care for Nigerian music or off-the-boat females. All he ensured was to show respect to whom it was due.

The wild Nigerian Brits were those whose parents were too busy trying to make ends meet. It was up to them to pick a struggle in life. Many of them pick wrong. The system is always there to put sense in their heads. Anthony Joshua said a prison scare put his head right. He is one out of many.

Nnamdipapa:
I Regretted Travelling and Training My Children Abroad

When I look back now, sometimes I just sit and sigh deeply. If someone had told me that travelling abroad would come with this kind of hidden price, I would have argued. My name is Tunde, a married man from Nigeria, and this is my truth.

When we first landed in the UK, everything looked perfect, the neat streets, the calm weather, the polite smiles. My wife and I believed we had finally arrived at the “promised land.” I remember saying, “Omo, we don make am!” But we didn’t know that survival here isn’t about how fast you run, it’s about how long you can endure.

At first, we struggled to get decent accommodation, landlords wanted proof of income, and jobs weren’t easy to come by without “UK experience.” My wife, a graduate back home, started working as a cleaner in a care home. I, too, joined the hustle , doing night shifts in warehouses, sometimes two jobs at once. Sleep became a luxury. We smiled in pictures for family back home, but behind those smiles were swollen feet and endless bills.

Then came the children, our pride and joy. We were determined to give them the best. We worked so hard just to keep them in good schools. But with time, something changed. The same children we sacrificed everything for started drifting away. The values we grew up with in Nigeria which is respect, community, humility which began to fade in their own lives. They questioned every correction. “Daddy, you can’t talk to me like that, it’s abuse.” “Mummy, this is my right.”

We couldn’t even discipline them without fear. Teachers, social workers, and school authorities were quick to interfere. Back home, it takes a village to raise a child; here, it takes caution not to lose your child to the system. Our weekends were no longer for family bonding, my wife had back-to-back shifts, and I was constantly calculating bills: rent, council tax, electricity, food, transportation… everything had a price tag. The “soft life” we imagined abroad turned out to be an endless cycle of work and worry.

Now, sometimes when I talk to my friends back home who envy me, I just shake my head. They see the pictures, not the pressure. They see the pounds, not the pain.
If I’m being honest, there are nights I lie awake and whisper to myself, “Did I really make the right decision?” I wanted a better future for my children but in chasing that dream, I lost parts of myself, my culture, and sometimes, even my peace.
Don’t get me wrong, the UK gave me exposure, structure, and some comfort. But it also took something from me, something I may never get back.

If I could go back in time, maybe… just maybe… I would have stayed in Nigeria, built gradually, and raised my children close to our roots.
This isn’t to discourage anyone. It’s just a reminder that abroad is not heaven, it’s another battlefield.
Sometimes, when you think you’re running toward a dream, you might just be running away from peace.

It is what it is.

Nnamdipapa:
✓ They are still in school abroad technically under the home schooling board for this term.
I am also enrolling for exposures to the Nigerian school system.

Exposure to a system that every one would like to instead see dismantled and replaced with a more sensible one? 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
Exposure to a system that every one would like to instead see dismantled and replaced with a more sensible one? 🥱🥱🥱

Its nevertheless a system that made you and I what wr are today. They need to learn first hand that life is not perfect, that sometimes we don't always get what we want. See other kids very happy and contended with limited resources.
It was hard for them making friends abroads and I felt It was time for them to meet their numerous cousins.
They are very happy to be in Nigeria I can tell you that. Most of the kids who grow abroad are usually selfish and self-entitled compared to those raised in Nigeria.

I noticed that kids who came abroad at around 10 years of age usually perform way better than kids who grew up or were born abroad. I have seen kids who become better when taken to Nigeria and later came back better abroad.
It is our country and we will not all run away from it.

Nnamdipapa:
➜Its nevertheless a system that made you and I what wr are today.
➜ They need to learn first hand that life is not perfect, that sometimes we don't always get what we want. See other kids very happy and contended with limited resources.
➜ It was hard for them making friends abroads and I felt It was time for them to meet their numerous cousins. They are very happy to be in Nigeria I can tell you that. Most of the kids who grow abroad are usually selfish and self-entitled compared to those raised in Nigeria.
➜ I noticed that kids who came abroad at around 10 years of age usually perform way better than kids who grew up or were born abroad. I have seen kids who become better when taken to Nigeria and later came back better abroad.
It is our country and we will not all run away from it.

1. Wrong! Given that in order to become the person I am today, I had to unlearn what I learned from the system, your logic fails.

2. WOW... you must think, by this, that you love your kids so.

3. So, rather than maybe getting them counseling to better understand what was in fact holding them back from making friends— kids usually have no problems connecting with their peers, unlike adults —, you felt that throwing them back to Nigeria is the way to go?

4. WOW... What is clear from this is that you love making stuff up.

Kobojunkie:
1. Wrong! Given that in order to become the person I am today, I had to unlearn what I learned from the system, your logic fails.

2. WOW... you must think, by this, that you love your kids so.

3. So, rather than maybe getting them counseling to better understand what was in fact holding them back from making friends— kids usually have no problems connecting with their peers, unlike adults —, you felt that throwing them back to Nigeria is the way to go?

4. WOW... What is clear from this is that you love making stuff up.

Then, they have to chose what they want and if after one year it's not working out, they have the option to return back. Me, I am never returning to live in Canada ever again or any western country for that matter. I think they are happier here considering my daughter was severely bullied at school by her white school colleagues, the teachers where aware of it and covered it up. I got to know about it after the fact.

This is my personal situation in which I know every intricate details more than anyone on the outside, I can always return at the snap of a finger and it took more than five years to set this move up. Like everything in life, there are no guarantees that everything would work as planned but, at least I am closer to my siblings and the kids to their other family members instead of being isolated abroad.

I have seen kids straighten up in Nigeria than they did abroad and I do not make a bold claim that all Nigerian kids go haywire abroad.

Nnamdipapa:
➜ Then, they have to chose what they want and if after one year it's not working out, they have the option to return back. Me, I am never returning to live in Canada ever again or any western country for that matter. I think they are happier here considering my daughter was severely bullied at school by her white school colleagues, the teachers where aware of it and covered it up. I got to know about it after the fact.
This is my personal situation in which I know every intricate details more than anyone on the outside, I can always return at the snap of a finger and it took more than five years to set this move up. Like everything in life, there are no guarantees that everything would work as planned but, at least I am closer to my siblings and the kids to their other family members instead of being isolated abroad.
I have seen kids straighten up in Nigeria than they did abroad and I do not make a bold claim that all Nigerian kids go haywire abroad.

You know what? No point! 🥱🥱🥱

You and your children should come back home nah