₦airaland Forum

My dad is late and my fiance proposed early this year. We did Introduction a few months ago and my very difficult uncle who is the last of his siblings was asked to handle the sending of Marriage List. He is now asking my fiance to pay over 100k for him to transport himself to the village to collect the list. He says it is tradition.

I have reached out to another uncle to try to reason with him but no one is doing anything about it.


I'm Ukwani from Ndokwa west and I don't believe this is how it is done. I have gone back to read about my culture and asked other people and someone said that the list can be gotten from any cyber cafe in the town. Please is this true?

I need advice as I do not want my uncle to take advantage of my fiance. All this is just to see the Marriage List before he now starts to pay for what is on the list.

I'm scared that he will inflate what is on the list too and no one will do anything about it.

JoyLong123423:
My dad is late and my fiance proposed early this year. We did Introduction in August and my very difficult uncle who is the last of his siblings was asked to handle the sending of Marriage List. He is now asking my fiance to pay over 100k for him to transport himself to the village to collect the list. He says it is tradition.

I have reached out to another uncle to try to reason with him but no one is doing anything about it.


I'm Ukwani from Ndokwa west and I don't believe this is how it is done. I have gone back to read about my culture and asked other people and someone said that the list can be gotten from any cyber cafe in the town. Please is this true?

I need advice as I do not want my uncle to take advantage of my fiance. All this is just to see the Marriage List before he now starts to pay for what is on the list.

I'm scared that he will inflate what is on the list too and no one will do anything about it.

use your real moniker to post anytime not alternate moniker

Your uncle and by extension the rest of your family wants to open office on your husband's head. I hope these greedy men won't chase your finance away with billings.

Your uncle does not like you and he’s probably diabolical and has evil intentions.

Hope the man has left so he doesn’t get affected with your family problems🤧
Let your uncle marry you😤

If you’ve got village council which I doubt you know, summon your uncle to their presence let him explain his motive.

List that I was with my dad when he was writing it and even making calls to confirm.
Go and settle with your uncle before you get married so you and your uncles don’t stress the innocent man🤧😤
🚶‍♂️

SpencerForbes:
Your uncle does not like you and he’s probably diabolical and has evil intentions.

Hope the man has left so he doesn’t get affected with your family problems🤧
Let your uncle marry you😤

If you’ve got village council which I doubt you know, summon your uncle to their presence let him explain his motive.

List that I was with my dad when he was writing it and even making calls to confirm.
Go and settle with your uncle before you get married so you and your uncles don’t stress the innocent man🤧😤
🚶‍♂️

I have never had issues with this particular Uncle

He was even calling me his favourite niece at some point. He asks everyone for money tho and I have always known so I am not surprised. I just didn't think they will leave me in his hands because he stayed in the village longer than any other person.

dominique:
Your uncle and by extension the rest of your family wants to open office on your husband's head. I hope this greedy men won't chase your finance away with billings.

Some of them don't know so I intend to call all of them and complain.

JoyLong123423:
I have never had issues with this particular Uncle

He was even calling me his favourite niece at some point. He asks everyone for money tho and I have always known so I am not surprised. I just didn't think they will leave me in his hands because he stayed in the village longer than any other person.

I believe you can visit the village. Where I come from, we have family elders and even organize family meetings here in the city. You can always go there to clarify. If not, he’ll keep extorting you and I pray your fiancé doesn’t get provoked.

Ps… because someone is calling you his favorite niece doesn’t really mean he has your interest at hand. If he does, he’ll make things easy for you. So be wary of him.

Visit your family elders if you can or start paying for the next farmland he’s going to purchase.
🚶‍♂️

JoyLong123423:
My dad is late and my fiance proposed early this year. We did Introduction a few months ago and my very difficult uncle who is the last of his siblings was asked to handle the sending of Marriage List. He is now asking my fiance to pay over 100k for him to transport himself to the village to collect the list. He says it is tradition.

I have reached out to another uncle to try to reason with him but no one is doing anything about it.


I'm Ukwani from Ndokwa west and I don't believe this is how it is done. I have gone back to read about my culture and asked other people and someone said that the list can be gotten from any cyber cafe in the town. Please is this true?

I need advice as I do not want my uncle to take advantage of my fiance. All this is just to see the Marriage List before he now starts to pay for what is on the list.

I'm scared that he will inflate what is on the list too and no one will do anything about it.

Is your uncle the only person that can get the list? I'm sure someone has gotten married from your family in recent years, have the person forward you the list they used, marriage lists are rarely ever updated

Extortion.

Your uncle no wan make you marry oo.

Change it for him sharply

Can't you just go yourself, in this digital age where they're smartphones and text messages one nkwobi wants 100k to go collect list, as how naw.

Which town are you from in ukwuani?

Omoh the guy will change his mind in due time, you better caution your uncle sha, stop stressing that young man before he will disappear from your life

Hmmm wetin them go call this one now . This is really unfortunate, and I totally understand your frustration. You’re right to question it. In Ukwani (Ndokwa) tradition, it’s not the groom’s responsibility to fund an uncle’s “trip” just to collect a marriage list. Usually, any elder from the bride’s side or even a close family member can help retrieve the list from home, or it can be sent digitally these days.

Many families in Ndokwa now get the list directly from the elders’ council secretary or even print it at a cyber café in the town (as you heard). It’s a known document, not something that requires personal negotiation or a costly journey.

Your uncle seems to be taking advantage of the situation, knowing your dad isn’t around to step in. My advice would be to involve another respected elder, maybe your dad’s older brother or a community elder from your village to mediate. That way, your fiancé won’t be pressured to keep spending unnecessarily before the main marriage expenses even start.

Don’t let anyone guilt you into silence, tradition should be respected, but not exploited.

Husband open ya eyes. Those are hun
...gry family

By the time you turn to Juventus, dem go beg any suitors to see the list for free...

If I were your fiance I would be pissed off already. Don't let that man destroy your joy to come.

Ur uncle will not make heaven. Also, Let me wish his children wat he's doing to ur finance

Na wa o...

Look for an elderly man in the village and report to him. In most villages, seeing list is free except the intending husband decided to drop something. When I got my own list, it was my wife brother who photocopied and gave me. You can get the list from anyone. You can look for any lady that recently got married in your village and ask her to collect the list from her husband.

But I will advice that what ever you do, ensure that your uncle knows that what he's doing is wrong, else if you get the list without him, during negotiation he might be insisting on paying high amount on certain items on that list just to get back to you and your fiance.

One person is not in charge of marriage list. How powerful is your uncle that only him colonised the list (both male and female) and is demanding 100k? Is he your only surviving uncle or are they all scared of him?

Your late father wouldn't have done this...if it is not your tradition sue him to the igwe in council

Your fiancee may pay all these money and after marriage he will never step foot in your village again. Even that your uncle's burial he won't attend

Why not pay the 100k for him? People like yourself always yap online why you wont take your husbands surname. O ya nau! Pay the bills

One of many reasons I will never marry outside my Yoruba heritage. I can’t deal with uncommon traditions. 😂😂😂 Pay 100k to go to village to get the list, then pay another 100k to return back to city, pay another 100k before you can get the list and the extortion all in the name of marriage continues. In-law if you are broke and need money please just ask me, I’ll give. Stop acting like Nigeria police to collect money from me abeg. WTH

JoyLong123423:
My dad is late and my fiance proposed early this year. We did Introduction a few months ago and my very difficult uncle who is the last of his siblings was asked to handle the sending of Marriage List. He is now asking my fiance to pay over 100k for him to transport himself to the village to collect the list. He says it is tradition.

I have reached out to another uncle to try to reason with him but no one is doing anything about it.


I'm Ukwani from Ndokwa west and I don't believe this is how it is done. I have gone back to read about my culture and asked other people and someone said that the list can be gotten from any cyber cafe in the town. Please is this true?

I need advice as I do not want my uncle to take advantage of my fiance. All this is just to see the Marriage List before he now starts to pay for what is on the list.

I'm scared that he will inflate what is on the list too and no one will do anything about it.

Y'all adult, simply walk into the local government marriage registry or ministry of interior in your state with friends as witnesses. You will be married 📌💯
You don't need validation from any miscreants or pulpit bandit 😎📌💯

JoyLong123423:
My dad is late and my fiance proposed early this year. We did Introduction a few months ago and my very difficult uncle who is the last of his siblings was asked to handle the sending of Marriage List. He is now asking my fiance to pay over 100k for him to transport himself to the village to collect the list. He says it is tradition.

I have reached out to another uncle to try to reason with him but no one is doing anything about it.


I'm Ukwani from Ndokwa west and I don't believe this is how it is done. I have gone back to read about my culture and asked other people and someone said that the list can be gotten from any cyber cafe in the town. Please is this true?

I need advice as I do not want my uncle to take advantage of my fiance. All this is just to see the Marriage List before he now starts to pay for what is on the list.

I'm scared that he will inflate what is on the list too and no one will do anything about it.

Fabricated stories here again

Madam na wisdom dem de take handle village people. You didn't say anything about your mom. If your dad's family is not so understanding, try your mum's people. I believe they can help you...but then, marriage is not for kids and unserious people. Sometimes those bottlenecks set by village people are to test una readiness to face the challenges marriage will bring. If una fail this one...if your fiance run away because of marriage list...then, he may not be ready for marriage.

Uncle is smart... I knew the guy will run away after seeing the List . So he's requesting for nonrefundable fee .


Run away from your uncle.. he doesn't mean well to u

Your uncle is fraudulent.

sign of lack nd poverty on ur uncle side..

my advice dont drag anything wit him...

ask ur fiance to negotiate wit him ..also fortify urself spiritually engaging wit fellas like this

This is a trying time for your relationship. Be very focused and monitor your man. Make sure you are absolutely on his side, supporting his decision, and relieving his fear and stress as much as possible, as situations like this can degrade into a complete collapse of your relationship and the wedding.

Una wey don always use useless "Uncles" as father figures ehn.

Let your eldest brother act as father jor

Osebanjo:
One of many reasons I will never marry outside my Yoruba heritage. I can’t deal with uncommon traditions. 😂😂😂 Pay 100k to go to village to get the list, then pay another 100k to return back to city, pay another 100k before you can get the list and the extortion all in the name of marriage continues. In-law if you are gonna need money please just ask him, I’ll give. Stop acting like Nigeria police to collect money from me abeg. WTH

Say na free wife de hungry you...if marriage list or whatever scares you away from marriage, then you are not ready yet.