This happened today:

I called a friend of mine so we can go for an all night together at a church we were invited in, he was already in the vicinity so I asked where are you he said said at his pastors house and I'm like where is the pastors house then he started complaining... "abeg I nor wan go that church now before oo" then he cut call, I called this boy and he didn't pick again



I had to go to the church myself but that thing pissed me off but I couldn't call again because he's not my girlfriend that I'll start quarrelling over the phone. He came to church later but it was toll after church close I saw him, he couldn't even talk to me and I as well didn't give a damn so I left and came home



I honestly did not want to bring up something from 7 hours ago and start vexing this early morning. Already I'm very mentality stressed because I'm trying to make good use of this 4 months remaining to make my life better and get money.



We usually do these church things like sing in churches and all that but I lost interest in them, it is not want I want to do with my life at all. I want big things and going to churches everyday is not what I want for now or for my future so I stopped hanging out with them. All they do is church and girls then don't even hustle that much, they aren't bothered about making money as much as I am



This is not the first time this friend has disrespected me and my time like this but the first few times I let it slide but recently it's becoming a pattern and I'm cutting him off and this recent one he did is one obvious reason why I need to complete excommunicate him from my life because I get really annoyed when I'm disrespected but the times he does it is when I'm not close to him so I can't carry issues like I'm a girl.



What do you guys think, cutting him off is best? Because I'm already no longer hanging out with them too

How do I set clearer boundaries without getting angry? Mostly because I don't have a very good way of expressing anger it's destructive but I'm an introverted person so I do well with managing my emotions

I don't know what the issue is. If you have people that disrespect you then cut them off. It's not hard. You're not enemies so you can greet when you meet on the way, but you should minimise all conversations online and offline, and respectfully decline any invitation to socialize.

Una too dey make life more complex than necessary.

@op, People Pleasing? its damn exhausting. If you are one of the unfortunate ones with this stellar trait, work on it. Sooner than later. It's a miserable life. Impossible to please everyone, and a complete waste of time.

When you're too available and too accessible,this is what you should expect.......

Place value upon yourself and watch how everyone around you will do same.....

Call only those who call you,and only check up on those who check on you.......

Value yourself first,and you wouldn't even need to set boundaries with anyone......Na only dem go notice say your value don increase,and they'll have no option than to respect your space.

sylve11:
@op, People Pleasing? its damn exhausting. If you are one of the unfortunate ones with this stellar trait, work on it. Sooner than later. It's a miserable life. Impossible to please everyone, and a complete waste of time.

Used to be but now that's no longer me. Rubbish sets of human beings out there

Sonnobax15:

When you're too available and too accessible,this is what you should expect.......

Place value upon yourself and watch how everyone around you will do same.....

Call only those who call you,and only check up on those who check on you.......

Value yourself first,and you wouldn't even need to set boundaries with anyone......Na only dem go notice say your value don increase,and they'll have no option than to respect your space.

What I'm doing now honestly the rubbish is too much. Honestly a stupid boy somebody I dey help alot with my money, to be a good person these days is very disappointing

What is the disrespect here? You read too much meaning into stuff that is not important

Coldplay007:
What is the disrespect here? You read too much meaning into stuff that is not important

Then what is? this is obviously disrespect for my time and value. He could have simply said it in a polite way and dismissed not acting like a girl

Oga relocate simple...shey u get money

DamianDd:

This is not the first time this friend has disrespected me and my time like this but the first few times I let it slide but recently it's becoming a pattern and I'm cutting him off and this recent one he did is one obvious reason why I need to complete excommunicate him from my life because I get really annoyed when I'm disrespected but the times he does it is when I'm not close to him so I can't carry issues like I'm a girl.
What do you guys think, cutting him off is best? Because I'm already no longer hanging out with them too
How do I set clearer boundaries without getting angry? Mostly because I don't have a very good way of expressing anger it's destructive but I'm an introverted person so I do well with managing my emotions

Lol... you are not a girl yet you carry issue so tay you even write an epistle on nairaland regarding the simple issue. OP, you need to begin letting go of those meaningless pre-programmings to start with. Boys, and even men, dey also carry issue for head. Na natural things.

Anyways, regarding this topic, all it seems is that your ego was bruised by your friend's rejection, and yes, even friends can reject one. You just need to accept and understand this so it does not tear at you as this one seems to have each time it happens. It is a normal thing in life. Folks don't always get to do what you want them to and there is nothing wrong with that.

Ok

We that doesn't have friends

I don't understand your writeup ...can you summarize pls?

I honestly don’t understand what you wrote here tho

This is deep

Ghost them

Silence is golden!

Talk less and do more observation. They will gradually find out over time you not into them.

Tbh only me understand how DamianDd feels. Nothing I hate for this life pass disrespect or see finish and many atimes I've had to do away with some friends cus of this sh**

And to me, Sonnobax15 is right, Op don't be too accessible to just everyone, be extra kind to those who are kind to you And have you in heart, check on who check on you and help friends you know are worth it

And Lastly Op, Remember you'll be treated very well when you have money by friends and frenemies and i hope you don't mistake that to be "Love"

b0rn2fuck:
We that doesn't have friends

Born to Bleep? Seriously? That name?

DamianDd:


What do you guys think, cutting him off is best? Because I'm already no longer hanging out with them too

How do I set clearer boundaries without getting angry? Mostly because I don't have a very good way of expressing anger it's destructive but I'm an introverted person so I do well with managing my emotions

This and many more have made me create a thread for men, were men can discuss about the problems Men are facing.

I will talk about this soon, join the thread.

DamianDd:


What do you guys think, cutting him off is best? Because I'm already no longer hanging out with them too

How do I set clearer boundaries without getting angry? Mostly because I don't have a very good way of expressing anger it's destructive but I'm an introverted person so I do well with managing my emotions

This and many more have made me create a thread for men, were men can discuss about the problems Men are facing.

I will talk about boundaries soon, join the thread.

https://www.nairaland.com/7817844/successful-relationship-seminar-men-come

See friends like alcohol, a little, you are just fine, a bit too much, mess you up. Just like alcohol again, go for quality.

No offense, but if I tell you I understand what op is really talking about them I would be lying to myself.

DamianDd:
This happened today:

I called a friend of mine so we can go for an all night together at a church we were invited in, he was already in the vicinity so I asked where are you he said said at his pastors house and I'm like where is the pastors house then he started complaining... "abeg I nor wan go that church now before oo" then he cut call, I called this boy and he didn't pick again



I had to go to the church myself but that thing pissed me off but I couldn't call again because he's not my girlfriend that I'll start quarrelling over the phone. He came to church later but it was toll after church close I saw him, he couldn't even talk to me and I as well didn't give a damn so I left and came home



I honestly did not want to bring up something from 7 hours ago and start vexing this early morning. Already I'm very mentality stressed because I'm trying to make good use of this 4 months remaining to make my life better and get money.



We usually do these church things like sing in churches and all that but I lost interest in them, it is not want I want to do with my life at all. I want big things and going to churches everyday is not what I want for now or for my future so I stopped hanging out with them. All they do is church and girls then don't even hustle that much, they aren't bothered about making money as much as I am



This is not the first time this friend has disrespected me and my time like this but the first few times I let it slide but recently it's becoming a pattern and I'm cutting him off and this recent one he did is one obvious reason why I need to complete excommunicate him from my life because I get really annoyed when I'm disrespected but the times he does it is when I'm not close to him so I can't carry issues like I'm a girl.



What do you guys think, cutting him off is best? Because I'm already no longer hanging out with them too

How do I set clearer boundaries without getting angry? Mostly because I don't have a very good way of expressing anger it's destructive but I'm an introverted person so I do well with managing my emotions

Tell him to his face...lobatan

Maybe your friends dont see future in you guys singing in churches, why not get people who are interested in your line of hustle instead.

1opinion:
No offense, but if I tell you I understand what op is really talking about them I would be lying to myself.

me self no understand you op.

Oga boundaries