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Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo - Christianity Etc (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralChristianity EtcChurch Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo (18239 Views)

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Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by osuofia2(m): 11:52am On Nov 02, 2025
Bittersweetnig:
why don't your hipocracy NL restricted non Christian from posting comments like they normally do on Islam section on Friday? Instead they're quick to ban Christians opinion on issues that affect Tinubu, na weyrey dey worry all of you
Your attention is needed here please, kindly advise

Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Dada4me: 12:16pm On Nov 02, 2025
As long as his first wife is still alive, he is bound to her and cannot marry another...else, he is living in adultery irrespective of the complexity anyone could be talking about.

God cannot change neither will His word change.
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Minjim: 12:34pm On Nov 02, 2025
Dogalmighty17:
I don't understand. Isn't the bible clear on this? If one spouse moves out and proceeds to remarry, nothing stops the other spouse from remarrying.
The case in the Bible takes about only death

But even Apostle Paul said something about this in his letter Apostle Paul discussed marriage, separation, and remarriage in several of his letters — especially in 1 Corinthians 7 and 1 Timothy 3 — but he did not directly mention what a church leader (bishop, elder, or deacon) should do if his wife leaves him.

Here’s what the Bible shows from Paul’s writings that relate closely to that question:
1. On Marriage and Separation (1 Corinthians 7:10–11, 15)
> "To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife."
— 1 Corinthians 7:10–11 (NIV)

Paul teaches that if separation happens, the preferred path is reconciliation. If not possible, both are to remain unmarried
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by MarketDispatch: 12:48pm On Nov 02, 2025
Daejumong:
His dismissal from RCCG was painful for Pastor Adeboye who saw and still sees him as his spiritual son.
I thought Churches are meant to preach forgiveness
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Gracefilled01: 1:08pm On Nov 02, 2025
Dada4me:
As long as his first wife is still alive, he is bound to her and cannot marry another...else, he is living in adultery irrespective of the complexity anyone could be talking about.

God cannot change neither will His word change.
I don’t think so. The Bible doesn’t condemn remarrying if one’s spouse is guilty of adultery; Matthew 5:32. In this case, his separated wife is bound to another man and has kids, hence he is free to remarry.
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Breaker001: 1:10pm On Nov 02, 2025
I don't understand o 😲
His former wife left and remarried, got children. Were they expecting him to stay divorced and single all his life? Which kind doctrine be this?
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Archworld(m): 1:11pm On Nov 02, 2025
Smartcitizen:
Please if you are not a Christian, kindly read and please I beg you in the name of whatever you love not to comment.

Thanks so much for your understanding.


🙏🙏🙏
nairaland is anti christians. You don't allow non Muslims to comments on Muslims topics and even try to make them Muslims before they comment but when it gets to christians issues , you begin to beg Muslims not to comment.
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Starz825(m): 1:34pm On Nov 02, 2025
albert2512:
Not sure you are right about this o.
I think he is right...since adultery is a biblical reason to divorce and remarry...then he is right..

The wife Left him to be with /sleep with another man.....
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by IMPARTIAL: 1:38pm On Nov 02, 2025
I guess the elders of the church were wrong in advising him to marry.

What was the result? The death of his wife, whom he married.

Maybe at his level of spirituality, he should have known better and ignored that advice.
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Nobody: 1:45pm On Nov 02, 2025
Such a beauty
stagger:
That wife died in 2020. Are you not aware?
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by placeofallure(f): 1:47pm On Nov 02, 2025
Daejumong:
His dismissal from RCCG was painful for Pastor Adeboye who saw and still sees him as his spiritual son.
The most painful thing for me was the death of Ibidun.
There are some people that you would just develop an inexplicable, I mean a great liking for even when they're not friends or family. I've loved her since the days when she was into pageantry. I was happy for her when she became Mrs. Ighodalo. I cried when she died.
I listened to Tope Alabi's number for her, and I lost it. It was painful watching her memorial service and her kids playing around without a care in the world. It was very disheartening.
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by nifemidaniel: 1:48pm On Nov 02, 2025
Lalami3232:
Is remarrying legal as a divorcee according to the Bible? I think some of us need clarity on this issue. But looking at how marriages of nowadays dey scatter, ranging from celebrities to pastors to entrepreneurs, you will ask yourself that "is marriage really worth it "?
What do you get in marriage that can't be gotten as a single person? Laslas, we all go dey alright sha
I understand your question and with everything happening, it's right to question marriage, however before you conclude on that, we should ask ourselves what's God's plan for the society, he so much care about family matters that he spelt out how things should be done... But all what you're seeing around are the ground scheme of Satan up to the point that he wants us to forget that ideal marriages still exist, he wants to desensitize people from what is ideal.. summarily seek God, seek his purpose for your life and remember good marriages still exist..shalom
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Dada4me: 1:59pm On Nov 02, 2025
Gracefilled01:
I don’t think so. The Bible doesn’t condemn remarrying if one’s spouse is guilty of adultery; Matthew 5:32. In this case, his separated wife is bound to another man and has kids, hence he is free to remarry.
The passage you quoted mentioned Fornication not Adultery; and there is a difference between both.

Please read the following passages for better understanding.
1. Matthew 19:9.
2. Luke 16:18.
3. Mark 10:11,12.
4. I Corinthians 7:10,39.

Shalom.
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by placeofallure(f): 2:02pm On Nov 02, 2025
Righteousness2:
The Elders are wrong.
The Elders are not the Standard
The Word of GOD, the BIBLE is the standard.


As long as your first legally Married wife is alive. Marrying any other woman is PURE ADULTERY irrespective of Whoever you are. ONLY DEATH OF YOUR SPOUSE PERMITS YOU BIBLICALLY TO MARRY AGAIN

The Elders will not stand for you before GOD.
Eternity is a PERSONAL RACE.
Dont let anyone in the Name of Title Deceive you.


Correct!

I was about to type this. Some injunctions in the Bible are difficult to follow but the Bible is what it is. God will not lower His standard for anyone.

It's unfortunate if your partner leaves you, gallivants about, living-la-vida-loca with another partner; and you have prospects, you have your life dreams, but you're stuck. It will seem unfair to you, but the Bible says you can't remarry unless that partner dies.

That's God's standard. Pastor Ituah should have stayed celibate and hold himself. May God be with us and not bring an evil partner our way.
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by dandadee: 2:22pm On Nov 02, 2025
[quote author=Omosofe69 post=137326629]This is what CHAT GPT says. The word of God is final for every believer not what the society says:

The Question
If the believing wife leaves the marriage, remarried and has children; can it be inferred that she committed adultery. So the man can then be permitted to remarry?
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by dandadee: 2:27pm On Nov 02, 2025
[quote author=Dada4me post=137329623]The passage you quoted mentioned Fornication not Adultery; and there is a difference between both.


The original translated word is 'porniea' a Greek word that broadly means 'sexual immorality'.
Fornication, adultery,incest,prostitution all inclusive.
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Righteousness2(m): 4:27pm On Nov 02, 2025
Dont Deceive yourself or let anyone Deceive you.

The Bible is super clear on Marriage Matters.

As long your first legally married partner is alive, marrying another person is ADULTERY.

mbaise1000:
The bible didn't say as long as the divorced spouse is alive, the other should remain unmarried, even as the bible instructed that the only condition allowed for divorce is in the case if adultery, it still encouraged us to forgive.
1 Corinthians 7:15 but this will apply only when all efforts are sincerely made to reconcile Failed
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Odidigboigbo(m): 4:28pm On Nov 02, 2025
ojuu4u:
If your spouse left and every door of reconciliation has closed, pls ENDEAVOUR to remarry.


Many of these doctrines are man-made doctrines, the doctrines the G.Os, Bishops, Prophets etc, have manipulated in other to subject subordinates and congregants to slavery.
Do you have any Biblical verse to support your claim ?
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by LilMissFavvy(f): 5:48pm On Nov 02, 2025
The scriptures cannot be changed. He has committed adultery, he should never have remarried. His first wife left him, second wife died, this is deep. Very many believers will not make heaven because of adultery.

If you are a married Christian, try and make your marriage work, if despite all your efforts, the marriage fails, then go back to single life. Being single and happy is possible, after all, you were once single before marriage

Imagine the $tupid reasons they gave him, telling him that his church is getting bigger and he's Young, is that enough reason to go against the word of God? What made his first wife leave? Was he treating her well? Was he the type that sleeps with everything in skirt? Yet expects wife to cope? Yes I am asking, because I have met face to face with ungodly preachers who say that there is nothing wrong with a pastor having side chick, wolves in sheep's clothing.

Thirdly, there are situations where God shows a man or woman mercy, and speaks to you one on one to remarry. I can remember the case of a lady who was forcefully given out in marriage at young age to an older rich man, due to poverty. This man married her and turned her life into pains and tears. God spoke to her clearly, showed her mercy and revealed the new husband she should get married to in a vision at night. She actually met the exact man in real life, got married and is living happily till today.
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Prettychild(f): 6:06pm On Nov 02, 2025
Dogalmighty17:
I don't understand. Isn't the bible clear on this? If one spouse moves out and proceeds to remarry, nothing stops the other spouse from remarrying.
Go and read your Bible again
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by ojuu4u(m): 8:54pm On Nov 02, 2025
Odidigboigbo:
Do you have any Biblical verse to support your claim ?
I don't have biblical verses for a religion fanatic /extremist.
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by SmileDance(f): 9:16pm On Nov 02, 2025
Helinuss:
At least he is happy. God bless his marriage
The wife he married also died
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Gracefilled01: 5:50am On Nov 03, 2025
Dada4me:
The passage you quoted mentioned Fornication not Adultery; and there is a difference between both.

Please read the following passages for better understanding.
1. Matthew 19:9.
2. Luke 16:18.
3. Mark 10:11,12.
4. I Corinthians 7:10,39.

Shalom.
Hey, that scripture is very clear. God is not wicked to ask a man whose wife is remarried to remain bound to her, there's no way such man will not fall into sexual sin. Adultery often means sexual immorality among married folks, while fornication is used for singles, nevertheless, there are instances in the scripture where they were interchanged.

The scripture is clear, this man's wife has committed adultery by remarrying, on that ground, the divorce is legal and he's free to remarry. Remember, it's wrong to add or subtract from God's word. You're being overly legalistic by adding to what the bible says, which is wrong!
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Lovit(m): 8:36am On Nov 03, 2025
The RCCG elders should go and sit down, they don't understand what the bible teaches

I am an RCCG member, if my wife leaves, even though she isn't remarried, I will move forward and marry another woman

There are so many doctrines we are using to tie ourselves down that is not biblical, tithing is even one of them

A Christian can marry many wives if he can take care of them, except you want to be a Pastor or Bishop. For Paul to give that instruction means that there were many believers in those days that are married to many wives

It is better to be married than to burn!
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Dada4me: 10:21am On Nov 03, 2025
Gracefilled01:
Hey, that scripture is very clear. God is not wicked to ask a man whose wife is remarried to remain bound to her, there's no way such man will not fall into sexual sin. Adultery often means sexual immorality among married folks, while fornication is used for singles, nevertheless, there are instances in the scripture where they were interchanged.

The scripture is clear, this man's wife has committed adultery by remarrying, on that ground, the divorce is legal and he's free to remarry. Remember, it's wrong to add or subtract from God's word. You're being overly legalistic by adding to what the bible says, which is wrong!
I guess you're not with your first wife too. The Bible says as long as the woman is alive, remarried or not, the man is bound to the woman. Take time to go through the passages I gave up there, the whole chapters will give a better understanding.

Legality does not place legitimacy on the scriptures. The Bible does not support smoking yet it is legal in most countries of the world.

Interprete the scriptures on face value and not to soothe you.
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Pearl1910: 10:38am On Nov 03, 2025
Omosofe69:
This is what CHAT GPT says. The word of God is final for every believer not what the society says:

The Question

Can a sound believer remarry after his wife has left him on her own accord (i.e., she abandoned him without just cause)?

🔹 Step 1: God’s original design for marriage

Genesis 2:24 — “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

Matthew 19:6 — “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Marriage is meant to be lifelong and exclusive — “one flesh” until death (Romans 7:2–3).
So the default position of Scripture is: marriage is not to be broken, and remarriage while the first spouse lives is adultery (Luke 16:18).

🔹 Step 2: When separation occurs

Sometimes, one spouse deserts the other. Paul directly addressed this in 1 Corinthians 7, the clearest New Testament teaching on the matter.

1 Corinthians 7:10–11 (KJV)
“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”

👉 If a wife departs (leaves her husband), Paul says she has two options:

Remain unmarried, or

Be reconciled to her husband.

And the husband, likewise, must not remarry another while she lives.

🔹 Step 3: When an unbelieving spouse departs

Paul adds another scenario:

1 Corinthians 7:15
“But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.”

This is often called the Pauline privilege — the only case where a believer may be “not under bondage” to remain tied to the marriage.
Key phrase: “not under bondage.”

What does it mean?

It implies freedom from the marital obligation when an unbelieving spouse deserts a believer.

The believer is then free to remarry, since the marriage bond has been broken by the unbeliever’s willful desertion.

🔹 Step 4: If both spouses are believers

If the deserter is a believer, the case changes.
Paul said:

“If she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled.” (1 Cor 7:11)

So if she’s a believer who walks away without biblical cause (adultery or unbelief), she’s in disobedience — but her departure does not free the husband to remarry. He must wait for either reconciliation or her death (Romans 7:2–3).

🔹 Step 5: Summary Table
Situation Scripture May the believer remarry?
Wife leaves but both are believers 1 Cor. 7:10–11 ❌ No — must remain unmarried or reconcile
Wife commits adultery Matt. 19:9 ✅ Yes — adultery dissolves the marital covenant
Wife is an unbeliever and deserts him 1 Cor. 7:15 ✅ Yes — not under bondage, free to remarry
Wife dies Rom. 7:2–3 ✅ Yes — death ends the marriage bond
🔹 Step 6: Core Principle

Romans 7:2–3
“For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth... So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress.”

Matthew 19:9
“Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery.”

Unless there’s fornication (sexual immorality) or unbelief/desertion by an unbeliever, remarriage while the first spouse lives is considered adultery in Scripture.

🔹 Final Verdict (Strict Scriptural View)

If a believing wife leaves her husband on her own accord, without adultery and without being an unbeliever,
the sound believer husband must not remarry.
He must either remain single or pray for reconciliation.

Only if she:

Commits adultery, or

Proves to be an unbeliever who has willfully departed,
may he, according to Scripture, be “not under bondage” and thus free to remarry.
This settles it.
Cos wife left him and remarried.
Meaning she is in adultery, therefore he can remarry.
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by albert2512: 7:31pm On Nov 08, 2025
Starz825:
I think he is right...since adultery is a biblical reason to divorce and remarry...then he is right..

The wife Left him to be with /sleep with another man.....
Adultery is not a reason to remarry, but it is a reason to do separate. Being separated doesn't mean u can remarry. I know this might sound crazy , it is the fact.
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Starz825(m): 8:20pm On Nov 08, 2025
albert2512:
Adultery is not a reason to remarry, but it is a reason to do separate. Being separated doesn't mean u can remarry. I know this might sound crazy , it is the fact.
Get your fact right..

Adultery is a reason to divorce.
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by albert2512: 6:53pm On Nov 09, 2025
Starz825:
Get your fact right..

Adultery is a reason to divorce.
So if you divorce, the Bible ask u to remarry? Don't get it twisted.
Re: Church Elders Asked Me To Remarry After My Wife Left & Remarried - Ighodalo by Realmssss: 5:44pm On Jan 13
Dogalmighty17:
I don't understand. Isn't the bible clear on this? If one spouse moves out and proceeds to remarry, nothing stops the other spouse from remarrying.
Nope read the Bible again....we pray we will not be a victim of circumstances Amen
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