₦airaland Forum

Yeluba people and doking. That's why single mothers plenty for Yeluba land.

kiddaz:
Well, that they are in Yoruba land doesn't make them Yoruba. The stats is about region and not based on ethnicity or tribe.

The majority of people living in the south west are Yorubas. Aside from Lagos, which is a metropolitan area, the percentage of Yorubas in the region is very high. Even in Lagos, the majority of migrants into the state are fellow Yorubas.

So, the person you quoted is correct.

Wow that means with all the development and education in the south west they can't keep marriage?? Oh my God!

grandstar:
I am yoruba and I don't care.

You don't care that your region has the lowest percentage of children who live with their parents?

Interesting...

parags:
Personally I think toxic feminism and social media made things worse for SW women . Culturally the women are empowered . Western agenda made them seek more power thus becoming unbearable . A LOT of yoruba men are not marrying yoruba girls. I know because most of my friends are not married to yoruba women. They would rather marry igbo or northern girls because they have more cultural ideals that favour marriages . Even the igbo women and other trips love yoruba men because our culture respects women alot

Interesting. Elsewhere online, the belief is that Igbo women are more westernised (this is true, though, as Igbos adopt Western ideals more than other ethnic groups). So, it is interesting to read that Yoruba women who are exposed to conservative Christianity and Islam (which is anti-Western and not pro-feminist) are more feminised than Igbo women.

I agree with northern girls, but in your experience, are these northern girls mostly Christians or Muslims? The men in your circle who married northern women, how many are Muslims? Those who married Igbo or Ibibio women would automatically be Christians.

Almunjid:
➜Lol, nice one. I can't copy this without contradicting myself. Honestly, both polygamy and the “baby mama” phenomenon are viewed as problems by many. Polygamy—an aspect of our culture that women may find difficult to accept—and baby mama culture, which is influenced by Western lifestyles, both have their drawbacks. However, if we are being truly honest, polygamy, despite its challenges, is still preferable to the baby mama trend.
In polygamous marriages, especially within Islam, a man is obligated to treat all his wives equally, providing for their food, clothing, shelter, and other needs. Anyone unable to maintain this fairness is not permitted to marry more than one wife. Through this equality in Islamic polygamy, every child receives adequate time, attention, care, and support from their father, which helps prevent the psychological harm often associated with single parenting.
In contrast, the baby mama lifestyle is fundamentally unfair to the child involved. The father tends to focus his resources, attention, and emotional support on his wife and her children, while neglecting the child from another relationship. Sending money (child support) cannot substitute for active parenting. Visiting occasionally is not proper upbringing. Baby mama culture benefits one party—the wife or current girlfriend—while causing hardship to the baby mama and her child. The mother is left to juggle both roles, inevitably falling short, just as the saying goes: “Jack of all trades, master of none.” One hand alone cannot accomplish what requires two.
When Islam was introduced, Arabs practiced polygamy with numerous wives—sometimes more than ten—and many children. Islam established a limit (four wives), setting clear guidelines for equal treatment and sharing of resources, which can be difficult even with just four wives. A man must divide his time and resources equally, ensuring that all wives are treated fairly, with no favoritism.
I understand you are not an advocate of polygamy, but if we are honest, in choosing the lesser evil, polygamy is a better option. It does have disadvantages, but it is not as harmful as the baby mama lifestyle, which is rapidly undermining our society. If things continue this way, women may soon be searching in vain for polygamous marriages, as the institution of marriage itself teeters on the brink of extinction—mainly due to the baby mama trend and similar Western influences. Despite being practiced for thousands of years in Africa, polygamy did not destroy our society or families as rapidly as these new lifestyles are doing.

This epistle here is riddled with so many assumptions that are meaningless to this topic.

As I already stated, Babymama-ism is a symptom of problems within society, and polygamy has never served as a solution to any of the identified problems in society to date. Yes, polygamy serves the selfish desires of men, but it does not provide or guarantee a safe environment for the nurturing of children in much the same way that babymama-ism does not.

RollinTNDA:
I already knew South West will be the lowest

The highest number of baby mamas I have ever seen in my life was in SWest.

Plus their divorce rate is very high too
My Aunt who lived in Lagos her whole life always warned me about marring from that side.
I would argue with her until I saw it reality hit me and I thank her and God for not making that mistake.

And what about South South sharing the same spot with SW? You have nothing to say about that and you made your comment looks like only SW has the lowest percentage. Even south east which I suspect is your region is not any better at all. You're just being a tribalist just like some other comments here that ignore SS and focus on SW.

Almunjid:
Lol, nice one. I can't copy this without contradicting myself. Honestly, both polygamy and the “baby mama” phenomenon are viewed as problems by many. Polygamy—an aspect of our culture that women may find difficult to accept—and baby mama culture, which is influenced by Western lifestyles, both have their drawbacks. However, if we are being truly honest, polygamy, despite its challenges, is still preferable to the baby mama trend.

In polygamous marriages, especially within Islam, a man is obligated to treat all his wives equally, providing for their food, clothing, shelter, and other needs. Anyone unable to maintain this fairness is not permitted to marry more than one wife. Through this equality in Islamic polygamy, every child receives adequate time, attention, care, and support from their father, which helps prevent the psychological harm often associated with single parenting.

In contrast, the baby mama lifestyle is fundamentally unfair to the child involved. The father tends to focus his resources, attention, and emotional support on his wife and her children, while neglecting the child from another relationship. Sending money (child support) cannot substitute for active parenting. Visiting occasionally is not proper upbringing. Baby mama culture benefits one party—the wife or current girlfriend—while causing hardship to the baby mama and her child. The mother is left to juggle both roles, inevitably falling short, just as the saying goes: “Jack of all trades, master of none.” One hand alone cannot accomplish what requires two.

When Islam was introduced, Arabs practiced polygamy with numerous wives—sometimes more than ten—and many children. Islam established a limit (four wives), setting clear guidelines for equal treatment and sharing of resources, which can be difficult even with just four wives. A man must divide his time and resources equally, ensuring that all wives are treated fairly, with no favoritism.

I understand you are not an advocate of polygamy, but if we are honest, in choosing the lesser evil, polygamy is a better option. It does have disadvantages, but it is not as harmful as the baby mama lifestyle, which is rapidly undermining our society. If things continue this way, women may soon be searching in vain for polygamous marriages, as the institution of marriage itself teeters on the brink of extinction—mainly due to the baby mama trend and similar Western influences. Despite being practiced for thousands of years in Africa, polygamy did not destroy our society or families as rapidly as these new lifestyles are doing.


Peace!

Sound argument.

Well done!

Gerrard59:
Interesting. Elsewhere online, the belief is that Igbo women are more westernised (this is true, though, as Igbos adopt Western ideals more than other ethnic groups). So, it is interesting to read that Yoruba women who are exposed to conservative Christianity and Islam (which is anti-Western and not pro-feminist) are more feminised than Igbo women.

I agree with northern girls, but in your experience, are these northern girls mostly Christians or Muslims? The men in your circle who married northern women, how many are Muslims? Those who married Igbo or Ibibio women would automatically be Christians.

Should anyone even be asking this question? What's percentage of the population of non Muslims in the north?

blacksam01:
The more the education of women, the higher the divorce rate

That's right. That's the result of education and exposure.

maasoap:
Should anyone even be asking this question? What's percentage of the population of non Muslims in the north?

Do you mean that Yoruba Muslim men cannot marry Northern Muslim women? Remember, the person I quoted focused on ethnicity, while I brought the religion angle to fully understand the phenomenon.

I already agreed within me that the Yoruba men who marry Igbo women or women from the south south are Christians because they are predominantly Christians. However, I want to know if the Yoruba men who marry northern women are Christians or Muslims. Also, it would be interesting to know whether a Yoruba Muslim man will marry a northern Christian and which group, between Yoruba Muslim and Yoruba Christian men, marry out more of the Yoruba ethnic group.

dammyz101:
So where do almagiris come from?

They possibly go back home after the daily hussle

Gerrard59:
Sound argument.

Well done!

Polygamy did not destroy our society in the past due to high infant mortality. All that talk about Islam mandating men to treat their wives and children equally is just that - talk.

The millions of almajiri in the North - are they due to western values? And as the north is now famous for divorce how are they structurally different from baby mamas?

Alfred200825:
Especially Warri, Udu, Ughelli and Isoko Areas. The next free thing after Breathable Air is the girls

I de ughelli. I can attest

Why terrorism and religious intolerance are thriving in the North?

Is it because of this statistics?

SpencerForbes:
I’m not trying to be tribalistic but I think south west should be fact-checked

He no hard now just line up ladies around you and do the checkout is very simple.

dammyz101:
So where do almagiris come from?

Lol 😂😆😆😆
Nice question oh

I have never seen a child living with both parents at Ijebu Ode.

In Ijebu Ode . 80% of parents are separated.

GloriousGbola:
Polygamy did not destroy our society in the past due to high infant mortality. All that talk about Islam mandating men to treat their wives and children equally is just that - talk.

The millions of almajiri in the North - are they due to western values? And as the north is now famous for divorce how are they structurally different from baby mamas?

The high number of almajiris comes across as a cultural and economic one rather than marital (someone stated the difference between Northern Muslims and Yoruba Muslims in that aspect). If polygamy is to be kept aside or not encouraged, what is your solution to a society having a high number of unmarried women (who are willing to marry)?

Chachalogo:
Sir, that they are Almajeris doesn't erase the fact they are from existing homes. They very much have their parents, except in some cases where a parent or both parents have passed on. They only went on a study and will return home when they're done. They do visit home and their parents do visit them at set times.

Okay thanks for the explanation

ebukal67x:
The South West data is curious.

Please don’t tell me you believe this fake data

I guess you are from [color=#000099][/color]south east that also have 62% so what are you saying?? If I have not lived in Aba and Onitsha I for agreed but men it is everywhere.

RollinTNDA:
I already knew South West will be the lowest

The highest number of baby mamas I have ever seen in my life was in SWest.

Plus their divorce rate is very high too
My Aunt who lived in Lagos her whole life always warned me about marring from that side.
I would argue with her until I saw it reality hit me and I thank her and God for not making that mistake.

LagosOrigin:
Na born troway plenty for south west

So statisense is correct now bahhhh, lolzzz

hartson:
No wonder agberos full that yonder.

The stat is correct bah... Lolzzz... Very hypocritical beings

Those boys go back home to their poor parents

oluxy:
How can north that practices almajiri system be more than the south west??

Those poor boys have poor parentsandthey go backto them.

oluxy:
How can north that practices almajiri system be more than the south west??

Now igbos are no longer in South West again due to divorce rate.. you too just don't want to be accountable 😂 😂 always blame other people. I really thank God that I lived in Aba and Onitsha ooo if not so I for dey believe all this east are always innocent Nawa oo. [color=#000099][/color]

Gerrard59:
The majority of people living in the south west are Yorubas. Aside from Lagos, which is a metropolitan area, the percentage of Yorubas in the region is very high. Even in Lagos, the majority of migrants into the state are fellow Yorubas.

So, the person you quoted is correct.

Kobojunkie:
This epistle here is riddled with so many assumptions that are meaningless to this topic.

As I already stated, Babymama-ism is a symptom of problems within society, and polygamy has never served as a solution to any of the identified problems in society to date. Yes, polygamy serves the selfish desires of men, but it does not provide or guarantee a safe environment for the nurturing of children in much the same way that babymama-ism does not.

Take your time before replying—read and fully understand the conversation first. It seems you’ve lost track of our discussion. Everything I’ve written has been directly related to our topic. Let me remind you: our conversation began with polygamous marriages and the “baby mama” phenomenon. You clearly stated that polygamy hasn’t addressed any substantial problems in society, just as baby mama culture has not. I then offered a comparative analysis of both issues and concluded that, although polygamy has its disadvantages, it is far better than the baby mama trend. We’re dealing with two serious problems now, and if caution isn’t taken, the baby mama phenomenon will destroy the institution of marriage and create societal issues that polygamy could not cause in a thousand years.

I’ve known you for years as a critic on Nairaland, especially on topics concerning women. I understand that a rough childhood might have shaped some of your opinions or behaviors, but criticism alone is not a solution. You can’t keep offering negative commentary on issues you may not fully understand; instead, why not study them in depth and offer constructive solutions? I agree that polygamy cannot resolve all the societal problems caused by the baby mama trend and other Western influences, and vice versa—the baby mama lifestyle isn’t a solution to the issues arising from polygamy and related cultural practices. Instead of focusing on criticism, let’s work towards proposing solutions that can address one or both of these problems. That’s a more productive place to start. What do you think?


Peace!

Chachalogo:
Almajeris are from homes. They're not products of broken marriages or single motherhood. Almajeranchi is a religious system particular to Islam. I had a friend & neighbour many years ago in Kano, who was sent on Almajeranchi by his father because he was very stubborn. He ran back home in no distant time

it's a cultural system particular to the hausas please.

Kobojunkie:
. This discussion is literally about the inaccuracy of claims made in the OP, and not about the specs in anyone's eyes, including mine.

2. Area boys in much of southern Nigeria — east and west—are mostly runaway children, orphans, and abandoned children. How does any of that compare to the Almajiri system? As you are attempting to draw a parallel between the two groups, are you insinuating that you admit that Almajiris are mostly also runaways, orphans, and abandoned children as well?

I did not even look at your ID before quoting you. I should just have ignored if I had known it was you because you have always reasoned upside down. That being said, I will however reply you only this one time.

The statistics given clearly stated that it measured children who do not live with both parents. Are your "mostly runaway children, orphans, and abandoned children" in the south living with both parents?

North Central kee?

Like Tiv, Jukun, Bachama, Yandam, and co right ?

Who ever dish out this stat must be high on something wey pass his power