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I've been with my wife for 7 years now. We dated for 3 years and got married 4 years ago
I met her a virgin which made me cherish her and respect her a lot.
We had a son together now and we are living well and I've seen her as been faithful and submissives even supportive a lot
Fast forward to this moment. We relocated almost 2 years ago and she started working. Recently I notice her moves with one of her colleagues at work which I notice they started having some kind feelings which I interrupted and I told her family which we all settle it. She was sobber and said it's the work of d devil. Though no sexual stuff between them, just some kind of colleague been to clinch which it's getting out of hand
I set some rules which one of it is that if she dare chat him or talk to him about anything not related to work or account, I will send her packing which she assure me.
I've been spying which I saw it that they've not even chatting though they don't usually see at work. The man is just doing part time which he comes 6 times a month.
4 days ago, my wife lock her fone, and said she doesn't want me to be spying that whenever I want to check her fone, I should tell her and she'll surely open it immediately for me.
So, yesterday, she's chatting on her fone and I playful collect her fone, check her WhatsApp and saw she message this Same man (Hello sir, good afternoon)
I was so annoyed and my heart broken totally, after several warnings.
Now I want to send her packing just for her to learn that, if she turned out to be a single mother, she'll got tired of men after they must av play her and turn her to trash
I'm confused and now I've packed her bag, waiting for her to come from work and send her away tomorrow morning
Or what advice can you give. What's your view

She isn't like this honestly. I've check her well for several years coz I'm a sensitive guy, until now that I saw some stupid act

Please don't mind my written English
I need help at this state coz I'm totally broken

Is she truly having an affair with this colleague? Why don't do more findings with concrete evidence before taking this decision? A broken home is not easy to rebuild ooo. My candid advice ooo.

dierich:
➜I've been spying which I saw it that they've not even chatting though they don't usually see at work. The man is just doing part time which he comes 6 times a month.
4 days ago, my wife lock her fone, and said she doesn't want me to be spying that whenever I want to check her fone, I should tell her and she'll surely open it immediately for me.
So, yesterday, she's chatting on her fone and I playful collect her fone, check her WhatsApp and saw she message this Same man (Hello sir, good afternoon)I was so annoyed and my heart broken totally, after several warnings.
Now I want to send her packing just for her to learn that, if she turned out to be a single mother, she'll got tired of men after they must av play her and turn her to trash. I'm confused and now I've packed her bag, waiting for her to come from work and send her away tomorrow morning Or what advice can you give. What's your view
She isn't like this honestly. I've check her well for several years coz I'm a sensitive guy, until now that I saw some stupid act

. You want to teach your wife a lesson?

You say you relocated, and you had been snooping on her— abusive as sheet behavior, by the way— and now you know or believe from that that she is cheating on you. Well, since you already packed her bags, I hope you are also ready with the divorce papers and the request to have shared/joint custody of your son, since making her a "single mother" equally means you become a single father yourself.

Xscape1993:
Is she truly having an affair with this colleague? Why don't do more findings with concrete evidence before taking this decision? My candid advice ooo.

My evidence is that, they chatted and both of them stating that they've feelings for each other. meaning it's about to start when I caught her.
They haven't really started but you should know when two people who's about to fall in love

Oga, you better calm down and don't let anger destroy your home. Even if you send her packing do you think there are better women out there? I believe there are other ways you can handle it

banjicom:
Oga, you better calm down and don't let anger destroy your home. Even if you send her packing do you think there are better women out there? I believe there are other ways you can handle it

That's why I put it here. If you're a married man and you know how well I can handle this

dierich:
My evidence is that, they chatted and both of them stating that they've feelings for each other. meaning it's about to start when I caught her.
They haven't really started but you should know when two people who's about to fall in love

Well, I think you need to still hold on my dear. Still play the fool here.

Hello sir, good afternoon

This is not cogent enough. Calm down. Be patient. Don't strike now.

But let me tell you something. A man can develop feelings for a woman and the feeling will just die off without him asking her out or just because he asked her out and she played hard to get. But a woman that develops feeling for a man will not quench the desire until either she tastes him or death or aging makes the mission impossible.

Xscape1993:
Well, I think you need to still hold on my dear. Still play the fool here.

I've confronted her and told her family as well.
They are d one that begged the first time I caught her and after I set my rules (No more chatting) she still violate the rules

immortalcrown:
This is not cogent enough. Calm down. Be patient. Don't strike now.

What got me annoyed is that, despite how much she beg and cry, she even told me she thought her marriage has broken yet she didn't learn.
Why lock her WhatsApp and later message him

To cheat just dey hungry your wife...


"Hello sir good afternoon" she wan explore. She wants the rush of a new affair. The fruit is looking tempting already. It's hanging low.


Next is to take a bite. A big bite!

Married men and insecurities🤝
Why are you spying? if she’s cheating, you are bound to know later on. You’ve probably been looking for means to chase her out.

What if she wanted to ask him a question relating to work

Go ahead and chase the mother of your kids because of ‘hi’

.... Well, don't send her packing because of what you saw on her phone.. There are many good ways to show your wife that you are angry with her.. You can stop eating her food and start buying your food outside and bringing it home to eat..
.. But have you talk to her co-worker, maybe telling her to call him and put the phone on speaker and telling her to introduce him to you, chat with him and introduce yourself to him in a friendly way... It's good for a husband to be jealous.. But don't be hasty in sending her out..

SpencerForbes:
Married men and insecurities🤝
Why are you spying? if she’s cheating, you are bound to know later on. You’ve probably been looking for means to chase her out.

What if she wanted to ask him a question relating to work

Go ahead and chase the mother of your kids because of ‘hi’

Until u father someone else child, u will stop saying this

badaru911:
.... Well, don't send her packing because of what you saw on her phone.. There are many good ways to show your wife that you are angry with her.. You can stop eating her food and start buying your food outside and bringing it home to eat..
.. But have you talk to her co-worker, maybe telling her to call him and put the phone on speaker and telling her to introduce him to you, chat with him and introduce yourself to him in a friendly way... It's good for a husband to be jealous.. But don't be hasty in sending her out..

Thanks so much
This man is well known by me. I mean, we know each other well

badaru911:
.... ➜Well, don't send her packing because of what you saw on her phone.. There are many good ways to show your wife that you are angry with her.. You can stop eating her food and start buying your food outside and bringing it home to eat..
➜.. But have you talk to her co-worker, maybe telling her to call him and put the phone on speaker and telling her to introduce him to you, chat with him and introduce yourself to him in a friendly way... It's good for a husband to be jealous.. But don't be hasty in sending her out..

You want OP to give the woman further reason to justify her cheating mentally? 😂😂😂😂

2. You want OP to possibly dig his own grave, abi? Dem no dey Nigeria oo!

dierich:
Until u father someone else child, u will stop saying this

Is that what you’re scared of in this generation of DNA
Every woman is liable to cheat. You just have to pretend you aren’t watching and she’s bound to loosen up and then you can catch her red handed. She had a life before you and will still have one with or without you. Let her cheat and make sure you have enough evidence and you won’t need any advice. But for now, I’ll still declare her innocent because she can deny the motive of the letter.

You even told us she isn’t like that. So why should she change immediately? If possible, control your emotions. Ask other workers about the both of them or ask someone to watch her for you and if she eventually cheats, you’ll have evidence.

Caveat: if she finds out, her trust for you will diminish and since you’re expecting her to fall, she’ll definitely fall because you won’t stop. The trust issue is already there but it’s best to have evidence so you don’t accuse her wrongly.

SpencerForbes:
Is that what you’re scared of in this generation of DNA
Every woman is liable to cheat. You just have to pretend you aren’t watching and she’s bound to loosen up and then you can catch her red handed. She had a life before you and will still have one with or without you. Let her cheat and make sure you have enough evidence and you won’t need any advice. But for now, I’ll still declare her innocent because she can deny the motive of the letter.

You even told us she isn’t like that. So why should she change immediately? If possible, control your emotions. Ask other workers about the both of them or ask someone to watch her for you and if she eventually cheats, you’ll have evidence.

Caveat: if she finds out, her trust for you will diminish and since you’re expecting her to fall, she’ll definitely fall because you won’t stop. The trust issue is already there but it’s best to have evidence so you don’t accuse her wrongly.

To the bold. I wanted to give her a 2nd change and to control her sense back that's why I interrupt them b4 it get out of hand but violating the rules shows she didn't learn still
I don't know if u understand me

dierich:
Thanks so much
This man is well known by me. I mean, we know each other well

... .. You can sit her down and tell her she should choose between you or her co-worker.. If it's you which is likely,tell her to quit her job and change her phone network, if not, that's the end of the marriage...
... You can even call the guy and tell him you don't want anything between him and your wife..
...Or go to your wife place of work and report...

I am really scared for this and next generation of African men. African men cannot control their women again.

Our forefathers married many wives and they're able to control them and they still live long and today a man with a man his already having BP over a woman.

madridguy:
I am really scared for this and next generation of African men. African men cannot control their women again.

Our forefathers married many wives and they're able to control them and they still live long and today a man with a man his already having BP over a woman.

You mean I shouldn't have bother about her or who's clinching with or either or not she's cheating?

So as an African man you don't know how to clip your woman's wing? You don't know how to tame her without saying a word?

dierich:
You mean I shouldn't have bother about her or who's clinching with or either or not she's cheating?

madridguy:
So as an African man you don't know how to clip your woman's wing? You don't know how to tame her without saying a word?

But all I need is advice. Like I said, u should have tell me some things I should know and how to handle this case. I would have appreciate that more than trying to blame me or something. Man to man, u can give me your view and how to handle it if it were to be u

Bro, the first five years of marriage is sometimes characterized by lots of trials, temptations and "tribulations" one of which you're dealing with now. There's perhaps more to this than you know and your wife is not telling you about. I'm tempted to say she may be listening to a more "superior" voice for her to be locking her phone and insisting you let her know when you want to access it.
Also, you need to accept the fact that you now live in a foreign land that (may) favour women more and that puts you at risks and disadvantage of losing more.
I suggest you have more intentional conversations with her. You can first start by asking her what she fancies about her colleague, what she thinks is missing in your marriage and what you can do to fill in the gap, id she has thought of the consequences of her action and the effect on your son etc.
On your own part, begin to compliment her looks especially when she's dressed for any outing (including work), consciously occupy her time when she's at home or off work by gisting/gossiping, "netflix and chill", dates, walks/strolls, help out in the kitchen and other chores.
Oh lest I forget, make sure you engage her frequently and have lots of s*x in different parts/corners of your apartment spontaneously with either clothes on, partially on or unclad (with your son out of sight) and show "no mercy".

dierich:
I've confronted her and told her family as well.
They are d one that begged the first time I caught her and after I set my rules (No more chatting) she still violate the rules

Still go beyond all reasonable doubts my dear since life is not involve yet.

breathless:
Bro, the first five years of marriage is sometimes characterized by lots of trials, temptations and "tribulations" one of which you're dealing with now. There's perhaps more to this than you know and your wife is not telling you about. I'm tempted to say she may be listening to a more "superior" voice for her to be locking her phone and insisting you let her know when you want to access it.
Also, you need to accept the fact that you now live in a foreign land that (may) favour women more and that puts you at risks and disadvantage of losing more.
I suggest you have more intentional conversations with her. You can first start by asking her what she fancies about her colleague, what she thinks is missing in your marriage and what you can do to fill in the gap, id she has thought of the consequences of her action and the effect on your son etc.
On your own part, begin to compliment her looks especially when she's dressed for any outing (including work), consciously occupy her time when she's at home or off work by gisting/gossiping, "netflix and chill", dates, walks/strolls, help out in the kitchen and other chores.
Oh lest I forget, make sure you engage her frequently and have lots of s*x in different parts/corners of your apartment spontaneously with either clothes on, partially on or unclad (with your son out of sight) and show "no mercy".

We av talked about this which she stated that she don't even know why such is happening that she find nothing attractive in him. And she claim it to be the devil's work
I even had a dream 3 days b4 I caught the moves that our marriage crashed.
But after I gave her rules, I expect her to follow it. Despite her been sober about it and promises, and I've told her to stop messaging him no matter what, she still go ahead. That pissed me off totally meaning she doesn't really value her home, if not she supposed to protect her home

dierich:
To the bold. I wanted to give her a 2nd change and to control her sense back that's why I interrupt them b4 it get out of hand but violating the rules shows she didn't learn still
I don't know if u understand me

I don’t know much about your home and family isn’t one size fit all. But before you got married, what’s was your plans to either reward or punish her if things like this should occur

For now, I think you should discuss with her about her actions and what you’re going to do. You can send her back to her parents house till you find out she’s change before taking her back but make sure you tell her why.

You can also stop her from going to the job. If you can provide well without her help or even helping her get a new job. But just know if a lady wants to cheat, she’ll always find a way. For her to outrightly disrespect you deserves some form of punishment because it means she sees you as weak and if you keep pardoning every mistake, what you fear might occur.

SpencerForbes:
I don’t know much about your home and family isn’t all sizes fit all. But before you got married, what’s was your plans to either reward or punish her if things like this should occur

For now, I think you should discuss with her about her actions and what you’re going to do. You can send her back to her parents house till you find out she’s change before taking her back but make sure you tell her why.

You can also stop her from going to the job. If you can provide well without her help or even helping her get a new job. But just know if a lady wants to cheat, she’ll always find a way. For her to outrightly disrespect you deserves some form of punishment because it means she sees you as weak and if you keep pardoning every mistake, what you fear might occur.

Thanks very much.

This marriage has a poor prognosis, unfortunately. You come off as too brash and impulsive.

Who tell you say them dey use gragra follow woman?

The moment that woman comes home and finds her belongings packed up and ready to be discarded, her trust in the durability of that marriage would reduce significantly . Whether you people eventually settle things or not. It’s now one leg in and one out for her. She go start calculate plan B. No more long term plans with you in HER picture.

Just mark it somewhere, you will remember my post when it finally happens. Na she go leave you finally. You don give her the vibe say make she no relax fully cos anything can happen and she will be kicked out

My advice is that you make sure you follow through with your threat of kicking her out cos if you don’t, Well, well.

dierich:
To the bold. I wanted to give her a 2nd change and to control her sense back that's why I interrupt them b4 it get out of hand but [b]violating the rules [/b]shows she didn't learn still
I don't know if u understand me

Your pride ee, them fit use am build 3 storey building and materials go still remain.

You think single parenthood only affects a woman? Everybody involved, including the children must be affected for sure.

Send that woman packing and then take out time to learn conflict resolution and allow yourself mature emotionally. If you continue with that marriage and this same impulsive behavior, the disaster will still happen sooner or later.

All the best!