₦airaland Forum

I know many people will come for my head, but I honestly don’t care anymore. Enough is enough. Stop placing your entire family problem on your friend overseas. I understand things are hard in Nigeria, but don’t depend completely on me for survival. I was once in the same country with you before I travelled, so I know how it feels.

Back then, the main reason I stayed in contact with most of my guys abroad was because I respected myself. I never begged for money, even when I didn’t have a dime. I hate insults, and that alone made me decide never to ask anyone—apart from my siblings—for help. Not even my uncles. And mind you, I was earning just ₦35,000 from 2022 to December 2023 before I finally travelled.

Some will say, “Na you tell them.” But honestly, I am not even a social media person. My friend who took me to the airport was the one telling people, despite my warning.

The worst part is that just one week after arriving, I received more than 50 messages from different people asking for money, while I was still trying to settle down. The only relief I had was that I came on scholarship, so I didn’t need to worry too much financially. I politely begged everyone to give me time to settle first.

By the second month, I was lucky to get a job while still receiving my stipend. I prioritized the important ones—mostly students—when helping. But even then, the painful part was that anytime I sent money to one person, they would tell their sister or someone else to start contacting me because “their share don come.” Even guys earning over ₦200,000 still call to beg for data because “Nigeria no easy.”

Just this morning, a friend of mine who is a lecturer sent me another long message begging for data—after I’ve sent him money several times before. I saw the message and ignored it. I’ve promised myself never to respond again. This man is married with kids, has a stable job, and even owns his own house. Meanwhile, I’m not married and don’t even have my own house in Nigeria, but he wants to be asking me for money every day while I’m here hustling under harsh weather.

Last year, my former colleague messaged me saying I should remember to take him overseas and that he prays for me every day. I told him straight: “You know I have siblings who just graduated. Do you really think I’ll abandon them to take you?” Please don’t put your hope on me. I’ll guide you on how to move on your own, but don’t depend on me to take you abroad because I can’t.

Before now, I used to hear that people change once they travel overseas and stop talking to people back home. I understand why now. It’s because everyone wants to collect money from you. Today you help someone, tomorrow they’ll message that their mother is in the hospital. You finish attending to that, and another one comes saying their landlord wants to throw them out.

Thank God I changed my number. Nobody should come and kill me. When I was earning less than ₦40,000, even the same friend who is a lecturer never assisted me with anything—even though I never asked.

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Abroad guys feeling funky

If no be this demonic APC Who send una??

We know many of you there don't have shishi
That's why you run when they ask for help

Werey go dey America for 6 years
Dey sleep inside him car
Dey collect food stamps to survive

Ask am to send ordinary $25
Werey go begin dey run around the bush

We know say shishi una no get

Na to dey snap picture say you dey America just for bragging rights.
To come back Christmas be like war
Flight ticket money you no get

Lol sad truth, Nigerians love being entitled and the sad this is that once you stop giving them, you become a bad person.

They see you as a candle, destined to light their lives while you keep burning and diminishing.

Well said. Black tax is putting so many Africans in poverty.

Yorubastardz:
I know many people will come for my head, but I honestly don’t care anymore. Enough is enough. Stop placing your entire family problem on your friend overseas.

Not just people abroad, Nigerians should stop putting pressure on others to offer assistance. A lot of Nigerians will have kids knowing they can't take care of them and start disturbing family members and friends for assistance every month. People should start living according to their pocket.

Your own too far sef.


After traveling from Warri to Abuja, I was inundated the next day with over 39 messages requesting assistance.

I kindly responded to them that 'na Abuja I dey o'

E be like them think sey Aero dey go abroad.

I nor blame them sha, my nephew snap me go upload.

You'll have to ignore them and focus on yourself else you'll burn yourself to keep others warm. Funny thing is in the event things go south, same people will be the ones mocking you that you're not smart and did not plan well

KingMack:
Make I jus park my Benz here dey read comments below 👇 👇

You no get even a bicycle.

I no lie.

RECENTLY I WAS VERY BROKE, I WANTED TOREACH OUT TO MY FRIEND IN SCOTLAND FOR ASSISTANCE. WHEN WE WERE IN UNIVERSITY I PAID HIS FEES ONCE.

BUT ON A SECOND THOUGHT I REFUSED TO CALL HIM.

LET EVERYBODY JUST BE BY THIERSELVES

Nairaland111:
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Make una try out unasef on other ppl shoe, then you will understand.

E no easy on both sides
Dependency ratio is high

"If he has the spirit of generosity, a pauper will give like a King."

I understand where you're coming from but don't you think this write up will be more effective if you send it directly to the people billing you?
Abi dem dey Nairaland?
Just saying

Yorubastardz:
Mscheeeeew

Abroad guys feeling funky
If no be this demonic APC Who send una??

We know many of you there don't have shishi

APC is a bad party, but Nigerians have been sending money from abroad for decades even. Even during the oil boom era.

This is the honest truth, no one is going to rescue you from your problems. Help whenever you can but it should never become a right or an entitlement

I can feel your pain. I was there once.
One thing is, I will always help again if I can but this time, with more restraint and self love.
Na people wey you dey slave for go still go behind you talk say wetin you do for them or what have you achieved!

Is not my ATM but is my POS

Life is hard oversease. You see someone earning say 20000 dollars or pounds, you think say him rich, but by the time the person has paid taxes, school fees, bills, and other things, that 20000 dolalrs a month would have been reduced by far. TO the point that he uses credit cards (credit cards are loan apps by a polite name, only this time na banks wey run am)...to meet necessities,meaning more debt.

Lols, I have friends and siblings abroad and I have never for one day ask for anything from them and will never, if you wish to give please do, but I will never ask, we chat everyday but will never ask for a dime, my cousin sent me 500k last year she said among all my relatives you never asked for anything, I appreciated her and thats it, life no balance, hustle and make your own money, don't depend on anyone

Billings upon billings.

Who no go no go know.

Na so the thing go.

Oga OP, billing is not only forwarded to People, infact it might shock you that Rich men in Nigeria face more billing than you abroad
If you see, Don jazzy, VDM Dms you will understand, you attract billing the moment people feel you are " Rich"

if i want to go to the Mall now, i dress modest, no designer no flashy, i keep it simple casual .. cos onces they see you on your balenciaga glass, gucci polo, hermes sandal .. someone will follow you for help

That you are abroad means people can only reach you on phone, imagine you are rich nd you dey here, they know your house, you meet how you wan hide

Nairaland111:
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We no really send una papa
Na Naija wey bad cause am

Abroad Ko
Overseas ni

Thank God I don't beg for money even my friend who is in UK borrowed 10k from me when she was in Nigeria I have never ask her to pay the money.
I don't even message her on WhatsApp talkless of begging her for money
Though she hi me attimes and I greet her period I don't want embarrassment

Nairaland111:
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You forgot to add that they’ll be in Nigeria laughing at you for doing a menial job abroad, but will come back and start asking you for money.

Some will say, "I could never come abroad to work in this kind of place or do this type of job."

Don’t even bother about them.

When vfs never return person passport
Mtcheew

For her to send you 500k shows she has money oh, which person for this naija fit send that kind money

Sucre6:
Lols, I have friends and siblings abroad and I have never for one day ask for anything from them and will never, if you wish to give please do, but I will never ask, we chat everyday but will never ask for a dime, my cousin sent me 500k last year she said among all my relatives you never asked for anything, I appreciated her and thats it, life no balance, hustle and make your own money, don't depend on anyone

Most people have this entitlement mentality, and it’s irritating to say the least.

You speak the truth mind of every Diasporan‼️

The main reason I stayed in contact with most of my guys abroad was because I respected myself. I never begged for money, even when I didn’t have a dime.

Gbammm 📌💯🙌

i feel same way too but at some point when no one to turn to na to call on my bros over there o