₦airaland Forum

He is in jail

toprealman:
Your dad and mum deserve to be taken care of regardless.

I disagree. Parent's, like everyone, reap what they sow.

Parent's who don't show love to their children should not expect love in return. And while our generation might excuse our parents' inadequacies and love them anyway, we must not expect our own children to love us unless we earn such love.

The change in character may be from the kind of wife he married

Kobojunkie:
From your story, what is clear is that you were not an insider to this family and as such do not know the real reason behind why the man decided to go no contact with his parents after he left Nigeria. I suggest you focus your energy on finding out the truth, and stop going around telling these tales by moonlight that Nigerian airheads are notorious for.

Children who go no contact with their parents do so for very reasonable reasons, and most times, things are never as you think they seem.

Not all the time bro.
I once knew a guy who ghosted his mum when he went to America.
As at that time, I was processing my visa too
So the mum linked me with her son
Things were going smoothly but after a while the guy ghosted everyone including his mum.
The mum was going from one Alfa to another
Nothing wey the woman no do finish but this guy didn't pick his mum's call or returned it for over 5 years.
Somehow the mum died, Alaye still no show
I now sent an email to the wife saying the mum is dead
The guy now called me crying
Some kids are just heartless
Just cold hearted kids
May we not be them or birth them

Who told you white people don't do magic.

UkoAnnang:


Una want make believe that Russian woman used kop nno mi on that young man.

But I won't believe cos I no say beke no da do that kind jazz

tranxo:
He is in jail

You know the game!

They raised a heartless Son, just because he went to a foreign land, can a white person come to Africa and do that to his family, we have so much inferiority complex.

Anyway, i dont blame the man, we have built a culture that lacks so much in family bonding and a stable environment, that we worship other environment.

Once i have a stable place in Africa, i dont care about any place , we have so much good, the only disadvantage is our mindset.

I remember that documentary of that girl from west Africa, crying her soul out that we wants to get to Europe , she felt lost in west Africa. If we were more kind, and helpful to ourselves, nobody will have this inferiority complex.

LyfeJennings:
Not all the time bro.
I once knew a guy who ghosted his mum when he went to America.
As at that time, I was processing my visa too
So the mum linked me with her son
Things were going smoothly but after a while the guy ghosted everyone including his mum.
The mum was going from one Alfa to another
Nothing wey the woman no do finish but this guy didn't pick his mum's call or returned it for over 5 years.
Somehow the mum died, Alaye still no show
I now sent an email to the wife saying the mum is dead
The guy now called me crying
Some kids are just heartless
Just cold hearted kids
May we not be them or birth them

You are right. Maybe, they did not bond with their child very well.

budaatum:
I disagree. Parent's like everyone, reap what they sow.

Parent's who don't show love to their children should not expect love in return. And while our generation might excuse our parents' inadequacies and love them anyway, we must not expect our own children to love us unless we earn such love.

guobe:
If he sees everyone in his family as toxic then he should be the problem and not the family.

Unfortunately a lot of what Nigerians call "culture" is simply parasitic, many don't realize how bad it is until they leave the country.

I would gather this man has finally found freedom and peace of mind and isn't willing to sacrifice his welbeing for leech-like family members.

SeriouslySense:
They raised a heartless Son, just because he went to a foreign land, can a white person come to Africa and do that to his family, we have so much inferiority complex.

Anyway, i dont blame the man, we have built a culture that lacks so much in family bonding and a stable environment, that we worship other environment

I know it' sounds absurd but trust me
Anything can happen bro
Any damn thing can happen
While some are heartless
Some are just not in the right frame of mind
Let's not be too harsh with our judgement

But that is extreme, even his parents, and they died without seeing him even on phone, something is wrong with our mindset.

Nobody in this world from other continent has come to Nigeria and forgot his parents. Are we not ashamed of ourselves. What is wrong with our mentality.

mmsen:
Unfortunately a lot of what Nigerians call "culture" is simply parasitic, many don't realize how bad it is until they leave the country.

I would gather this man has finally found freedom and peace of mind and isn't willing to sacrifice his welbeing for leech-like family members.

guobe:
Your thoughts are the fairy tale here as less than 1 percent of parents have evil intentions towards the kids they brought to the world.

A lot of Nigerians abuse their own children. You are downplaying the problem.

SeriouslySense:
But that is extreme, even his parents, and they died without seeing him even on phone, something is wrong with our mindset.

I wasn't in that man's home to know what his parents did or did not do but I have heard many a story over the years from those who appeared to have idyllic childhoods but in truth suffered abuse.

guobe:
For one to completely break off from the parents and siblings just like that no matter what is absolutely absurd.

That is one of the mysteries of life that is difficult to understand

pansophist:
They probably treated him wrong.

Most families are dysfunctional. Most families have not been to a therapist, and make effort to purge out unhealthy patterns.

It’s very difficult for a person to cut off with their biological families, and men typically do that when they create their own family.

Lots of dysfunction in families are revealed during adulthood, since the parents will take the backseat and the children will continue from there.

How the siblings will relate with each other especially with the differences in financial status, educational level, life challenges and past resentment will depend on the love they have for each other.


Since the siblings are adults with agency, they will iron out their past resentment which might lead to a permanent breakdown of the relationship.

In many cases, it is parents that are the glue to sibling relationships. Without a present parent, most siblings ain’t fan of each other.

And the more successful a sibling is, the more likely he would be the target of the others who ain’t successful, hence, a pressing need for the successful one to just cut off.

This is probably what’s going on here.

Well articulated.
Truly "the heart of man is desperately wicked"

Okay unless there was abuse that is understandable. But if they tried their best to treat him well, and that is how it ends, its not right.

mmsen:
I wasn't in that man's home to know what his parents did or did not do but I have heard many a story over the years from those who appeared to have idyllic childhoods but in truth suffered abuse.

SeriouslySense:
You are right. Maybe, they did not bond with their child very well.

The operative word being, "maybe", since we do not know.

https://www.nairaland.com/8570531/he-went-abroad-got-lost#137621078

mmsen:
I wasn't in that man's home to know what his parents did or did not do but I have heard many a story over the years from those who appeared to have idyllic childhoods but in truth suffered abuse.

Are you claiming you have not heard of parents who abused their own child?

Well, let me attempt to correct that for you without claim its the case here.

https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/articles/c15ww0e818go

https://www.channelstv.com/2025/04/11/father-arrested-for-raping-his-17-year-old-daughter-in-bauchi/

budaatum:
I disagree. Parent's like everyone, reap what they sow.

Parent's who don't show love to their children should not expect love in return. And while our generation might excuse our parents' inadequacies and love them anyway, we must not expect our own children to love us unless we earn such love.

You are a wicked person. A woman that carries the pregnancy of a child for nine months with pains, did not abort the child, fed him with her two breasts till he is able to crawl and walk, fed him till he becomes a teenager, now even for one reason or the other, if she is not able to continue, has she not done something?

Lekby25:
You are a wicked person. A woman that carries the pregnancy of a child for nine months with pains, did not abort the child, fed him with her two breasts till he is able to crawl and walk, fed him till he becomes a teenager, now even for one reason or the other, if she is not able to continue, has she not done something?

I'm very certain you call me wicked because I have been wicked to you. For you wouldn't dare make such an assumption unless you've experienced my wickedness.

Below is a mother who "carries the pregnancy of a child for nine months with pains, did not abort the child, fed him with her two breasts till he is able to crawl and walk, fed him" and then killed him.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp84xed0g18o

I feel you'd claim her children should love their mother if they were still alive. But kindly confirm please.

Wickedness and abuse is everywhere, is what we make of our environment that is what counts. Asians stay in Asia and make it work, Europeans stay in Europe and make it work, so let it challenge us, to think more broadly and make it work out.

Unfortunately, we have so much differences and little that brings us together. Our minds are filled with poison and hate for one another.

guobe:
In my former neighbourhood, there was this young man that was studying medicine in the university, a very brilliant chap and doing very well in his academics.

Though the parents were struggling financially, they made sure all his needs were met.

An opportunity came
then with the Nigerian Government giving scholarship to scholars to school in Russia and this guy was successful as he got a scholarship to study Engineering in Russia .

That was it ,he married a Russian woman and broke communication with his parents and siblings in Nigeria .

The parents were heart broken especially the mum as it made her fall ill and she never recovered from it.
She died and the son didn't come to Nigeria for final farewell.

The dad just died and still no show from him.
Just got chatting with one of his siblings and he said he is yet to fathom why he acted this way as he was well treated as a kid before he went to Russia.
What could have really made him to act this way is a million dollar question.
Life.

I don't know how long he has been in Russia but one truth is that once you start to touch money abroad, that Naija bugga spirit will show up in you. You will want to show your gees that you are doing well and sometimes become a motivational speaker.

But if you never make am, you will be ashamed to show your face back home.

But no matter the situation, that little little prayers from your mom works wonders and the only way you get it is by showing love.

If that is the reason, then we have raised poor children, if its due to not making it, that he abandoned them. Then he is still a child, he may never grow up. Wealth is not the greatest thing in the world. The life of a human being is the greatest gift.

I wish their son all the best

Empresa:
I don't know how long he has been in Russia but one truth is that once you start to touch money abroad, that Naija bugga spirit will show up in you. You will want to show your gees that you are doing well and sometimes become a motivational speaker.

But if you never make am, you will be ashamed to show your face back home.

But no matter the situation, that little little prayers from your mom works wonders and the only way you get it is by showing love.

guobe:
In my former neighbourhood, there was this young man that was studying medicine in the university, a very brilliant chap and doing very well in his academics.

Though the parents were struggling financially, they made sure all his needs were met.

An opportunity came
then with the Nigerian Government giving scholarship to scholars to school in Russia and this guy was successful as he got a scholarship to study Engineering in Russia .

That was it ,he married a Russian woman and broke communication with his parents and siblings in Nigeria .

The parents were heart broken especially the mum as it made her fall ill and she never recovered from it.
She died and the son didn't come to Nigeria for final farewell.

The dad just died and still no show from him.
Just got chatting with one of his siblings and he said he is yet to fathom why he acted this way as he was well treated as a kid before he went to Russia.
What could have really made him to act this way is a million dollar question.
Life.

If he's still alive I can make him come back. That's if there's still any need

Did you read all his post at all? In the post he said the claim not to know why he behaved that way, so he's curious why he brought it here

Kobojunkie:
From your story, what is clear is that you were not an insider to this family and as such do not know the real reason behind why the man decided to go no contact with his parents after he left Nigeria. I suggest you focus your energy on finding out the truth, and stop going around telling these tales by moonlight that Nigerian airheads are notorious for.

Children who go no contact with their parents do so for very reasonable reasons, and most times, things are never as you think they seem.

budaatum:
Are you claiming you have not heard of parents who abused their own child?

Well, let me attempt to correct that for you without claim its the case here.

https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/articles/c15ww0e818go

https://www.channelstv.com/2025/04/11/father-arrested-for-raping-his-17-year-old-daughter-in-bauchi/

You completely misunderstood what I wrote. I'm very much aware of how abusive Nigerian parents are, especially the religious ones.

zinaunreal:
If he's still alive I can make him come back. That's if there's still any need

His parents are dead already, who is he coming to meet.

Lekby25:
That is one of the mysteries of life that is difficult to understand

Quite mysterious

mmsen:
A lot of Nigerians abuse their own children. You are downplaying the problem.

It does not warrant cutting off completely even to your younger ones.haba check am na

Toktee:
That guy might be manure in the eastern Ukraine 🇺🇦 by now.

No he is alive and didn't even show a single interest as his dad just passed away

1144AK:
Did this sibling ask him why he did what he did? What was his response?

Some individuals may harbor feelings of dislike for their own family, but in many cases, major troubles prompt them to reach out to their family for support. This is because, in many instances, only family members will stand by you during challenging times, unless it's a dysfunctional family that fails to support one another. This lack of familial support may even be the root cause of the initial issue.

The sibling told me he went bunkas when they chatted as in he was not making sense.

mmsen:
You completely misunderstood what I wrote. I'm very much aware of hov abusive Nigerian parents are, especially the religious ones.

So. You have heard of parents abusing their own children even though on the outside they seem to have treated their child well?

Its not only Nigerian parents or religious people, note.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0mwllzzyxlo