₦airaland Forum

ibechris:
Someone earning 250k should not try to go close. The person earning 100k should not even promised any woman marriage.

I used to advice men to marry quick but now...I really do not have any advice to give again.

If u don't marry wisely,the marriage would hit u like where a trailer had a head on collision.

Marriage is very dangerous without adequate money to run its internal costs.

I earn 200k plus but it doesn't last me two days. After paying my nanny,pay my children teachers and give to my parents,set aside Nepa bill,fueling two cars in a month,feeding in a month...I might have spent close to
1.2m...it is crazy...not to mention other sundry expenses...all thanks to my side income.

What do i know self..marriage is not for the faint hearted my people.

If u must marry,marry a financially prepared spouse. That doesn't mean u should look for a rich woman or man ...no! but a woman/ man who is financially prepared to manage with u,live with u in tough days and not a downer

It is because you are leaving beyond your means. You have two cars and nanny. If your wife need a nanny, she should contribute part of the money.

GUNITGuy:
➜But they're allowed to carry olosho and do hookup .... Very reason we are seeing a gradual rise in Social vices ... Standards created by no one becoming acceptable to everyone ....
➜If I may ask how did people before the last two generation were able to have not just one wive but multiple yet had no office they were going to ...they lived on the proceeds of their farm and marriage was done to increase labour for work too...
Both husband and wive went to farm together and had kids that were raised comfortably

1. Do the married ones among them not carry olosho and do hookups?

2. Many of those who were in polygamous settings had wives who hustled for their own kids. Yes, I had a friend whose father had two wives, and several kids from both. Each of the wives literally had to hustle to feed and cater to their own kids, while the man had property that he collected rent from and was able to give them money from time to time. Life was not easy for women and children in those marriages even then.

Our neighbor back those days had no farm, and for a while no wife...his wife left him with the kids cause she was tired of suffering. The children literally survived on crumbs most of the time. It was terrible. And all of this was back in the 80s.

Teeroyzimma:
Una mindset for this country dey funny me, is 100k money? If you consider other expenses that 100k is just 100 naira

You Dey mind them .. I just Dey read many comments with poor mindset on this post even our parents had it easier in the 90s things weren’t this bad

Kobojunkie:
1. Do the married ones among them not carry olosho and do hookups?

2. Many of those who were in polygamous settings had wives who hustled for their own kids. Yes, I had a friend whose father had two wives, and several kids from both. Each of the wives literally had to hustle to feed and cater to their own kids, while the man had property that he collected rent from and was able to give them money from time to time. Life was not easy for women and children in those marriages even then.

Our neighbor back those days had no farm, and for a while no wife...his wife left him with the kids cause she was tired of suffering. The children literally survived on crumbs most of the time. It was terrible. And all of this was back in the 80s.

But a society that dictates marriage solely on financial standings should be ready to loose more than half of it's population in the next 100yrs it's already happening in the white population globally...they might go extinct by their current birth rate in the next 200yrs ...this standards are good but they come with their own effects could be both negative and positive..
Why don't people want to grow together and build wealth ...the truth is there actually nothing really scarce in the world but just what is scarce is the idea and mind to recognize and exploit opportunities at a particular point in time .. .
Just this nairaland alone it's a multi billion dollar opportunity for some people only if the idea to try and try and try until it succeeds...
The problem we have is most women don't want to go through that with men ...And some men are waiting for the perfect time...
Usually if you want to really appreciate your wive it's not when you land a mouth watering job then you develop the courage to get married but when you hear her encouraging words during difficult times ....
Most men tend to get bored with wives they met when things get rosy ..this I can tell you for free and behaviors of my friends and brothers doing well....
It now seems she's a burden to their liberty after awhile ...
I Notice something they stop posting their love pics and wives pics after 3 yrs it gradually declines ...
This was my observation....
Reason most men tend to cheat after hitting it big

Karleb:
Funny how this post is only directed at men

Because women can always get married with nothing in their account or not even having an account.

---

@TOPIC: The solution has always been fewer children. Life is too hard; people should not make it harder. People often stress themselves with four to five children, building houses in their respective villages, and then one where they reside, while taking care of immediate and extended relatives! C'mon! How much is left for them to enjoy life as humans?

GUNITGuy:
➜But a society that dictates marriage solely on financial standings should be ready to loose more than half of it's population in the next 100yrs it's already happening in the white population globally...they might go extinct by their current birth rate in the next 200yrs ...this standards are good but they come with their own effects could be both negative and positive..
Why don't people want to grow together and build wealth ...the truth is there actually nothing really scarce in the world but just what is scarce is the idea and mind to recognize and exploit opportunities at a particular point in time .. .
➜Just this nairaland alone it's a multi billion dollar opportunity for some people only if the idea to try and try and try until it succeeds... The problem we have is most women don't want to go through that with men ...And some men are waiting for the perfect time... Usually if you want to really appreciate your wive it's not when you land a mouth watering job then you develop the courage to get married but when you hear her encouraging words during difficult times .... Most men tend to get bored with wives they met when things get rosy ..this I can tell you for free and behaviors of my friends and brothers doing well.... It now seems she's a burden to their liberty after awhile ...
➜I Notice something they stop posting their love pics and wives pics after 3 yrs it gradually declines ... This was my observation....
Reason most men tend to cheat after hitting it big

1. Marriage has always been about financial stability for at least one party. In old Europe, it was typically men who gained financially through marriage to women from much wealthier backgrounds. During the time of our ancestors, women were traded as property, a tradition that continues to this day, with the price system getting steadily more expensive for suitors due to the economy.

As for population, the world population, which is currently at above 8 billion, can do with losing a lot of weight.

. Since 1970, humanity has been using more resources than the Earth can replenish each year. This is equivalent to needing more than one planet to support the current level of consumption ...Some estimates suggest a sustainable global population is between 2 to 3 billion, though this figure varies depending on consumption patterns.

2. I am glad more and more women are rejecting the struggle-love. It rarely pays women. With over 170 million Nigerians living in poverty, it is insane for any woman out there to take a chance on the same failed strategy that robbed their mothers and grandmothers of their dreams and lives.

3. Well, people are finally realizing the old lies that have typically been used to prop up the majority of marriages in the old days no longer work in this new social media reality we live in. And that is a good thing.

100k in Lagos is not the same as Onitsha Anambra state.
Cost of living in this cities isn't the same,
3-rooms and parlour for AWADA na 500k a year

They will not listen.

Let who won't listen experience it. 🖊️ ✍️

Lol better comot eyes for woman money or them go use nagging finish your mental health

SpencerForbes:
I’ve got some questions:

— What if both of them are earning #100,000 ?🤔

— If you’re able to save 30k monthly, what’s stopping any of them from starting a side hustle like POS or provision sales?

— Let’s imagine the lady is industrious and has a skill (hairdressing or make up skills) what’s stopping you from marrying her?

— If you’re above forty but you have a house and everything is put in place, why shouldn’t you get married?

— If the family is supportive and don’t need an elaborate wedding for now till you’re okay, should you still boycott marriage?

always247:
I swear to God if i get stable and secure form of income that will fetch me 70k monthly na only death go stop me from getting married

stop betting

always247:
there was time without pampers and humans survived

those times have passed

Jungpablo:
those times have passed

What passed 😳 The only thing killing Nigerian is they want to copy the ‘joes living next door’ You can stop your children from using pampers after a year and with proper training the child will be able to reduce the use of pampers.

How many years will you buy pampers, is it for a lifetime? A young man and lady that has planned their family life in the first two years of marriage and even started a side hustle, you think they won’t be able to provide a year of pampers.

always247:
I swear to God if i get stable and secure form of income that will fetch me 70k monthly na only death go stop me from getting married

If you have IT skills, I can secure a job for you in Ilorin, Kwara State with a salary of 100k a month. It’s not even something serious, just a data entry specialist position.

SIRTee15:
50k monthly for food in today's economy for a family of 3, u will know person wey never carry responsibility.

. . Oga calm down I know 50k for feeding is very low, but for some families that all they have..
2 bags of Rice 50kg-90k for the year..
Half bag of beans-55k for the year
25 liters red oil-65k
15 liters vegetable oil-45k
Ogbono-54k
Egusi-45k
33 penters Garri-36000
Total-390k..
600k-390k=210k..
They will manage 210k to buy other perishable food stuff.. this is for the family of 3

Whois:
Lol better comot eyes for woman money or them go use nagging finish your mental health

Good women are definitely still around, but let’s be honest: na we men dey find the 'baddie' (the high-maintenance packaging) instead of focusing on what matters.

There are women who, even if they don't give you all their salary, will contribute something tangible once they see you have serious potential. The major problem now is that all this online feminism has unfortunately spoiled many of our ladies, making them unnecessarily entitled.

If you prioritize character and solid values over just looks when choosing a partner, you will definitely find someone who is willing to build with you.

mactoni91:
Even me earning 308k Net dey fear...
My woman earning 500k Net dey pressure me with marriage but i still dey observe.

No let any woman pressurize you into marriage... Focus on improving your income

Your income is enough to marry, u are just giving excuse.

Alfred200825:
Meanwhile there are married security guards, cleaners, messengers who are earning far less than that and are living fine.
Better is a meal of plain vegetables eaten with love than a feast filled with strife and fighting.

Believe everything you see or read on social media at your own peril.

They’re not living fine rara. 99% of them beg at work. They beg incoming customers .

For both gender o
Or they marry and do not have more than one child

seanwilliam:
They’re not living fine rara. 99% of them beg at work. They beg incoming customers .

The people truly struggling are those earning below the realistic minimum wage. But if you see a security guard earning ₦100k, he often looks fresher and more stable than an average banker, and that's because those kinds of jobs that pay ₦100k or more frequently come packaged with benefits like subsidized feeding, accommodation or even transport allowances.

I know a housekeeper who worked in Shell; she used the stability there to become the family breadwinner, trained herself in massage, and now she owns her own shop. The truth is, any salary below ₦80k per month is genuinely bad, but once you hit the ₦100k mark and above, you have enough leverage to start planning your life and building a future.

SpencerForbes:
Our issue is that we love copying others without looking at our own pockets. You don't have to use premium brands just because society dictates it. Babies have been raised successfully without breaking the bank for generations.

Let’s be realistic: if we wait until every man has millions in savings before procreating, the population would crash. A struggling young man and a hardworking partner can build from scratch. There are affordable apartments in decent areas—you don't need luxury to be a good parent.

The blueprint is simple: Start small, stabilize, and then expand. The only major issue is rent and the initial infant stages when the child needs premium food and care . Honestly, if a man earning ₦200k plans well and cuts his coat according to his cloth, coupled with a sensible wife (not all this urban Gen Z) he can raise a small family while working on increasing his income. We need to stop discouraging people with unrealistic standards. How many men do you think will end up with more than 10 million naira savings in Nigeria?

I kind of agreed with you for real, you can start small and expand gradually. I married when I was earning little more than 100k in my business ( I actually don't fancy salary/monthly job) and which is almost going to 4 years now with a child. And let me also say this, my wife is also a workaholic monster , she's into fashion.

When everything looked tough somehow I think of diversifying and I diversified. I moved into agric business, livestock production. But before I started, I raised 100k and loaded up the house with food stuff so that my mind will switch off from what are we going to eat and stuff like that.

I'm establishing local chicken now, started with 4 hens and a roaster. Which all the 4 hens are brooding on 39 eggs as I'm typing.

4 months ago I collected 25 broilers chickens, raised and sold them all out at 7-8 weeks old. I increased the number to 50 in my second batch and sold them all out exactly 6 weeks old. Now, I've made payments for another one carton which is 50 pieces, but this time, with 17 turkey ( 7 imported + 10 local).

By next year January I'll be adding fishing to it, will go and clear and clean the pond next weekend.

I also want to add goats, geese and imported ducks...but it's a gradual process.

I'm really happy for the progress though, but navigating through them all hasn't been easy, but because I already know that what to eat has already been taking care of and that really ease my mind a lot.

truthhurts2:
I kind of agreed with you for real, you can start small and expand gradually. I married when I was earning little more than 100k in my business ( I actually don't fancy salary/monthly job) and which is almost going to 4 years now with a child. And let me also say this, my wife is also a workaholic monster , she's into fashion.

When everything looked tough somehow I think of diversifying and I diversified. I moved into agric business, livestock production. But before I started, I raised 100k and loaded up the house with food stuff so that my mind will switch off from what are we going to eat and stuff like that.

I'm establishing local chicken now, started with 4 hens and a roaster. Which all the 4 hens are brooding on 39 eggs as I'm typing.

4 months ago I collected 25 broilers chickens, raised and sold them all out at 7-8 weeks old. I increased the number to 50 in my second batch and sold them all out exactly 6 weeks old. Now, I've made payments for another one carton which is 50 pieces, but this time, with 17 turkey ( 7 imported + 10 local).

By next year January I'll be adding fishing to it, will go and clear and clean the pond next weekend.

I also want to add goats, geese and imported ducks...but it's a gradual process.

I'm really happy for the progress though, but navigating through them all hasn't been easy, but because I already know that what to eat has already been taking care of and that really ease my mind a lot.

This is truly an encouraging testimony for every young man out there trying to build a solid home.

Your experience is clear evidence of what proper planning and disciplined strategy can achieve, even when starting small. You definitely married a gem, not one of these entitled 'online feminists' we hear complaining everywhere. It wasn’t easy, but the way you navigated those tough early years is the best part of the story. And the fact that you stopped at one child to build capacity first, rather than having six, is a highly commendable display of foresight. Well done, sir!

Babatundehy:
You can also decide to Eat that meal of plain veggies with love and ALONE, this is life man, you can't be too prepared, with that income they'll not have no savings, have to deal with little debts, not eat good, live good. If they decide to have a kid, what happens when that kid falls sick and they need 40,000 urgently? Have you checked what it costs now to be pregnant and have a baby? what happens when the mother cannot express much and the baby needs to be on formula for a few months 😂
The other day I saw on Tiktok how a lady whose baby couldn't take cow milk based formula because the baby was allergic to it, only goat milk based formula was okay for that baby, she was on there on Tiktok begging for help and showing videos of the baby, anyone could tell that baby wasn't eating good, goat milk based formulas are more expensive, people don't pray for these things but they still happen, the only way is to not do anything just because you have the minimum or because you believe in miracles or that "things will work out" things don't just work out because you need them to.

Why didn't the lady feed the baby akamu (local pap)? That's what many of us were fed with when we were baby, and we did not die. The baby will not die if it is fed with it.

If the baby has goat milk guzzling affection, the baby should have choosed a goat-herd family to be born into.

always247:
I swear to God if i get stable and secure form of income that will fetch me 70k monthly na only death go stop me from getting married

The fact that you and 49 others liked this post is quite depressing

A man earning 100k monthly ND be thinking of marriage??
Let's assume
feeding per day 2k by 30 days = 60k.
Transportation per day 5h per day = 15k
75k gone just for feeding ND transportation
House rent for the month
May be he drinks 5 bottles of bear in a month 6k
Den he carry day break once a month 15k
Bath soap and oral b dey there o..
E go buy card and data o..
What if phone spoil ND he wan buy new phone?
As a man if u no guide no even think about relationships talk more of marriage o..

always247:
there was time without pampers and humans survived

That time and now isn't the same.

Dude if you don't have this money avoid marriage.

blingxx:
I haven’t no business having conversations with people that have your mindset

Do you know how many plots of lands I have as we speak..
Maybe I should redirect you to my fb page to see my agricultural investments dwarfing my salary.. am a land lord I don't pay rent, so get off my fkin mention.
I started from carrying cement,,.. well you don't even worth my explanation self.
Mumu people who can't start small but want to aim it big..
Yen yen yen..

ibechris:
Someone earning 250k should not try to go close. The person earning 100k should not even promised any woman marriage.

I used to advice men to marry quick but now...I really do not have any advice to give again.

If u don't marry wisely,the marriage would hit u like where a trailer had a head on collision.

Marriage is very dangerous without adequate money to run its internal costs.

I earn 200k plus but it doesn't last me two days. After paying my nanny,pay my children teachers and give to my parents,set aside Nepa bill,fueling two cars in a month,feeding in a month...I might have spent close to
1.2m...it is crazy...not to mention other sundry expenses...all thanks to my side income.

What do i know self..marriage is not for the faint hearted my people.

If u must marry,marry a financially prepared spouse. That doesn't mean u should look for a rich woman or man ...no! but a woman/ man who is financially prepared to manage with u,live with u in tough days and not a downer

. You earn above 200k and you have a nanny and different children for your children and you are saying marriage is difficult. Oga u are just living above your means that is why marriage is difficult for you. 100k is ok for a man to start with if he wants to get married.

Kobojunkie:
. Ordinary grocery bills for feeding a pregnant woman and a man alone fit collapse person, or the cost of Pampers and baby milk during the first few months of the child entering into the mix will collapse that 100k-marriage idea completely into nothing. The reason people like that refuse to consider small things like this, which are real at teh end of the day, is that they want to cling to the magical idea that somehow the magical fairy of marriage will solve it all in the end.

Pls,loud it.

Kobojunkie:
Ol, boy! Make Google your friend immediately. Wants and needs are based on decisions.🥱

2. But to some people, marriage and/or kids are a luxury they cannot afford! Again, is marriage and/or having children a want or a need? Please consult Google before you respond this time around. 🥱🥱

Lol I don't need consult any Google for any thing I will still say having a family is base on your decision I have someone earning 30k with 3 kids and also have someone earning 800k but afraid to have a family... Marriage or Children are not needs or want... Needs are something you can't do without as human while wants are something that if you don't have it you can still move on... And Marriage or Children have nothing to do with those two words... You will be the one to Decide if or not... I decide that once I get to 30 years I will get Marry... That's my decision despite earning low as at then

blingxx:
Omoh una like poverty for this country o

My brother,when they say Nigeria is the poverty capital of the world,now u will understand better.