₦airaland Forum

Back then, when I was teaching in a private school, two siblings, a boy and a girl, were enrolled almost halfway through the term.

I remember it was already week five. Their grandmother and aunt brought them to the school.

Their grandmother’s house was at the front of the street, while the school sat quietly at the back.

They were so little, innocent, bright, and surprisingly intelligent.

They blended into the system effortlessly and even caught up with their classmates. The boy was placed in JSS2 and the girl in JSS1.

Not long after, we learned their mother had died while giving birth a few months before. Their father, overwhelmed with caring for them, could not manage, so he brought them to their maternal grandmother, who then enrolled them in the school.

I eventually left that school and never saw those kids again.

Over the years, I have bumped into some of my former students, now big boys and girls, but never these two.

Today, on my way back from work, I stopped by my tailor’s shop to pick up a dress. I was not in a hurry to get home, so I decided to walk the long distance.

When I got to the area where that school once stood, nostalgia hit me. But nothing prepared me for what happened next.

Just as I was about to leave the street, I saw a familiar face. The same boy. He is taller now and thinner, but the face was still the same, only different in a way I wish I did not have to see.

He looked dirty. His eyes were bloodshot. The stench as he walked past me was suffocating. He did not recognize me; he walked on casually. But, i never forgot the face of my student.

His lips were dry and cracked, and he was sipping straight from a sachet of gordon’s dry gin.

It broke my heart. His condition looked like substance abuse.

TimeArena1:
Not long after, we learned their mother had died while giving birth a few months before. Their father, overwhelmed with caring for them, could not manage, so he brought them to their maternal grandmother, who then enrolled them in the school.

I eventually left that school and never saw those kids again.

Over the years, I have bumped into some of my former students, now big boys and girls, but never these two.

Today, on my way back from work, I stopped by my tailor’s shop to pick up a dress. I was not in a hurry to get home, so I decided to walk the long distance.

When I got to the area where that school once stood, nostalgia hit me. But nothing prepared me for what happened next.

Just as I was about to leave the street, I saw a familiar face. The same boy. He is taller now and thinner, but the face was still the same, only different in a way I wish I did not have to see.

He looked dirty. His eyes were bloodshot. The stench as he walked past me was suffocating. He did not recognize me; he walked on casually. But, i never forgot the face of my student.

His lips were dry and cracked, and he was sipping straight from a sachet of gordon’s dry gin.

It broke my heart. His condition looked like substance abuse.

Please can you look for the boy?
So so many young Champs out there in Nigeria wasting.
Please try to know his current condition and connect with me

TimeArena1:
Not long after, we learned their mother had died while giving birth a few months before. Their father, overwhelmed with caring for them, could not manage, so he brought them to their maternal grandmother, who then enrolled them in the school.
I eventually left that school and never saw those kids again. Over the years, I have bumped into some of my former students, now big boys and girls, but never these two. Today, on my way back from work, I stopped by my tailor’s shop to pick up a dress. I was not in a hurry to get home, so I decided to walk the long distance. When I got to the area where that school once stood, nostalgia hit me. But nothing prepared me for what happened next. Just as I was about to leave the street, I saw a familiar face. The same boy. He is taller now and thinner, but the face was still the same, only different in a way I wish I did not have to see. He looked dirty. His eyes were bloodshot. The stench as he walked past me was suffocating. He did not recognize me; he walked on casually. But, i never forgot the face of my student. His lips were dry and cracked, and he was sipping straight from a sachet of gordon’s dry gin. It broke my heart. His condition looked like substance abuse.

Poor kids! They literally had no chance!

You said their mother died, and their father, instead of grieving with his kids and hanging in with them through the tough time, took to abandoning them with his mother so he could go live his own life alone. Why think of blaming the environment for what happened to the boy? Will you blame their grandmother, too? 🥱🥱

"I dreamed.., now life has killed the dream that I dreamt."

As I walked home, a lot of questions ran through my mind.
How did he turn out this way?
Was he neglected?

No. The grandmother loved them deeply and she was very protective.

But then again, it occurred to me that love alone cannot raise children.

Grandparents often try their best, but strength, energy, and attention fade with age.

Environment and association are louder teachers.
Looking at the environment I came to understand that even if his mother were alive and he grew up on that street, there is still a possibility this path would find him.

Some streets are persuasive, and not everyone has the willpower to fight the influences around them.

Sometimes, environment raises children more than love does.

And when the environment is hungry, dark, and unguarded, it devours destinies.

I hope help finds this boy, soon.

I am not in a place to help him right now, but I sincerely wish the government would clamp down on the sale of hard drugs that are gradually turning bright children into vagabonds.

Also, let's keep using our individual platforms to push against the use of drugs.


#saynotodrugs

Kobojunkie:
Poor kids! They literally had no chance!

You said their mother died, and their father, instead of grieving with his kids and hanging in with them through the tough time, took to abandoning them with his mother so he could go live his own life alone. Why think of blaming the environment for what happened to the boy? Will you blame their grandmother, too? 🥱🥱

I just shared the concluding part.

ruzell86:
"I dreamed.., now life has killed the dream that I dreamt."

Dream again!
But this time, be fierce and protective of it.
Nothing can steal what’s inside you unless you hand over the access.

Guard your heart.
Nurture your vision.
Work towards it with intention.

Life, environment, and even spiritual influences lose their grip over a person who not only dares to dream, but also knows how to fight to keep that dream alive.

Time is still on your side.
Dream again.
Dream boldly.
Dream dreams that appear impossible.
Dare to dream what no one has even dreamt of.

Mee346:
Please can you look for the boy?
So so many young Champs out there in Nigeria wasting.
Please try to know his current condition and connect with me

Yes.
He stays in my town but the area is a bit far.
I will try to go to the grand mother's house and see if I can find him there.
Thank you.

TimeArena1:
✓ As I walked home, a lot of questions ran through my mind.
How did he turn out this way?
Was he neglected? No. The grandmother loved them deeply and she was very protective. But then again, it occurred to me that love alone cannot raise children.
Grandparents often try their best, but strength, energy, and attention fade with age.
Environment and association are louder teachers.
Looking at the environment I came to understand that even if his mother were alive and he grew up on that street, there is still a possibility this path would find him.

Some streets are persuasive, and not everyone has the willpower to fight the influences around them.
Sometimes, environment raises children more than love does.
And when the environment is hungry, dark, and unguarded, it devours destinies.
I hope help finds this boy, soon.
I am not in a place to help him right now, but I sincerely wish the government would clamp down on the sale of hard drugs that are gradually turning bright children into vagabonds.
Also, let's keep using our individual platforms to push against the use of drugs.

You did not investigate the possible issue of neglect from the parents. -- in this case, the father whom you said left the children with his mother, leaving them with possible feelings of abandonment to navigate on their own-- but jumped to the convenient conclusion that because at one time you felt the grandmother must have loved the children, therefore neglect could not have been part of the problem?

Let me ask you this. Did all of the kids from your past school ,100% of them whose parents -- either father and/or mother -- was not in the picture also turn out a drug addict in that same area? You said you were a teacher so I expect a teacher to have no problems with critical reasoning abilities.

This things sometimes don't stem from environment only, it could also have being peer pressure/bad company; because the people you associate with can negatively influence and change your morals, behavior, and character.
There are some facts you should consider before concluding if it was lack of love from the grandmother or from the father who was not capable enough/overwhelmed to instill fatherly trait in his children from the onset.

Below are some points:

Influence is powerful: Human nature is to reflect the behavior of those we spend the most time with. This also means that "show me your friends and I will tell you who you are"

Spirits are transferable: You tend to become like the people you are around; for example, associating with addicts can lead someone to becoming an addict himself.

Negative habits: Exposure to negative behaviors can cause you to adopt them, such as learning to have a quick temper or engaging in undesirable actions you might not have otherwise considered.

Prioritize your environment: To protect your character, it's important to be mindful of the company you keep and choose friends who uplift and challenge you to grow in a positive way.

My point here is that, the boy is big enough to choose wisely and to also know what is right and wrong.

Good morning, everyone.
Yesterday evening I was able to go to the boy's grandmother's house and it was a very long conversation.
I'll try to drop the full story here ASAP.

Yesterday evening, I took out time to go see the boy’s grandmother.

Before going, I already made up my mind that I would not give any impression that someone was interested in helping the boy.

I just wanted to hear directly from the grandmother, understand the situation, and maybe speak with the boy if I got the chance.

I got there around 6:30 pm. Mama was obviously preparing dinner. There was a huge pot on the fire in her outside kitchen which stood right in front of the house. She was holding a small bucket, probably to fetch water, but she dropped it when I greeted her.

"Migwo, mama," I said.
"Vrendo," she replied.

I asked after her family and she said everyone was fine.

I introduced myself as a teacher from the school at the back, where her grandchildren attended many years ago.

She looked confused. She even asked if there was a school at the back and which of her grandchildren I was talking about.

Honestly, it has been almost ten years and I had forgotten the children’s names, so I tried to describe them. I reminded her that it was one of her daughters who brought them during the admission process and that she also personally came for their uniforms before they started.

She still did not remember.

While we were talking, a voice from inside the house said, “Maybe na them Precious.” A teenager came out and greeted me. Mama said Precious and her sister attended another school inside the area, not any school at the back.

At this point, I was confused but I kept insisting because I remembered clearly that those children used to come from this same house. I even described exactly where the school was. That was when she asked, “Na Eyaruwe school?” I said yes! She said, “Na Ebruphiyo and the sister.”

I told her I could not remember their names but that I came because I saw the boy some weeks ago and he was not looking good.

She sighed and said, “Na so we see am o. He mama don do tire. Ebruphiyo no want do anything with him life. The girl own dey Agbor. She don almost finish school.”

I was shocked when she said “his mother.” I told her we heard back then that the children lost their mother.

She said that was not the case. It was another of her daughter who died during childbirth and the husband brought those children to her.

Meanwhile, the ones I taught were the children of a different daughter who had gotten a job in Bayelsa but couldn't go with them as she wasn't sure of the life waiting for her there. She brought those two kids to live with her temporarily and it was shortly after those ones arrived they brought the ones who lost their mother.

She explained that because so many children came into her house at the same time, people assumed they were all siblings, but they were not.

She said she enrolled Ebruphiyo and his sister in our school, the secondary school at the back, while the other two were sent to the primary school inside the street.

I asked her what really happened to Ebruphiyo and how everything went wrong.

By then, all the children in the house had come outside. Mama even pointed out one of them who was the newborn brought to her many years ago. The girl is now grown.

Mama continued.

She said after the boy finished JSS3 and wrote his junior WAEC, his mother came and took them to Bayelsa to join her. Things were better for her and she wanted her children with her. The boy did well in WAEC later, so she processed admission for him into the Petroleum Training Institute in Warri. He passed the exam and got in.

She rented a self-contained apartment for him off campus and made sure he had everything he needed. He began school, and during one of their short breaks, he came to Mama’s house since Ughelli was closer. That was when the problems started.

He got mixed up with the area boys. Before anyone could understand what was happening, he started coming to the street every weekend without even stopping by her house. One of the grandchildren spotted him in an unbelievable condition at the popular Ughelli guest house and told Mama.

She went to look for him and saw him herself. She alerted his mother. They bundled him to the house. His mom came the next day, angry but calm enough to speak to him.

She went with him back to Warri, cooked for him, washed his clothes and begged him to do better. He promised, but he was already addicted. All the money she sent went into drugs. He eventually stopped going to school and did not even write exams.

His mom took him to rehab, and started another school process for him at the state University in Ozoro. He did not meet the cut off mark. She took him back to Bayelsa and asked him to learn a skill. He refused and just stayed home.

Later, she was transferred to Benin. She took him with her, but he always found a way to sneak back to Ughelli. Mama said the day I saw him was likely one of the days he ran back to Ughelli.

I asked if he was currently in town. She said if I had come earlier that day, I would have seen him. His mother had just taken him back to Benin again.

Mama shook her head and said, “That my fine boy just dey waste. I don tell anybody wey get pikin for this area make dem comot. Once all these small ones grow small, I go tell their papa make he come carry them. Another pikin no go spoil for my hand. Na this area I take born almost all my children and none of them misbehave like this. When dem ready marry, dem marry. But the thing wey dey waka for here now wey make children no dey hear word, I no know.”

I told Mama it was alright. God would help her and I will include the boy in my prayers.

She thanked me and said if I ever saw her outside and she failed to recognize me, I should introduce myself again.

And that was how everything went.

The drug usage and addictions now are crazy!
In 5/6 years time,we'll have a big case of mental patients in Nigeria .

Thank you for reaching out to him and I pray HE rescues himself.

TimeArena1:
I was shocked when she said “his mother.” I told her we heard back then that the children lost their mother.

She said that was not the case. It was another of her daughter who died during childbirth and the husband brought those children to her.

Meanwhile, the ones I taught were the children of a different daughter who had gotten a job in Bayelsa but couldn't go with them as she wasn't sure of the life waiting for her there. She brought those two kids to live with her temporarily and it was shortly after those ones arrived they brought the ones who lost their mother.

She explained that because so many children came into her house at the same time, people assumed they were all siblings, but they were not.

She said she enrolled Ebruphiyo and his sister in our school, the secondary school at the back, while the other two were sent to the primary school inside the street.

I asked her what really happened to Ebruphiyo and how everything went wrong.

By then, all the children in the house had come outside. Mama even pointed out one of them who was the newborn brought to her many years ago. The girl is now grown.

Mama continued.

She said after the boy finished JSS3 and wrote his junior WAEC, his mother came and took them to Bayelsa to join her. Things were better for her and she wanted her children with her. The boy did well in WAEC later, so she processed admission for him into the Petroleum Training Institute in Warri. He passed the exam and got in.

She rented a self-contained apartment for him off campus and made sure he had everything he needed. He began school, and during one of their short breaks, he came to Mama’s house since Ughelli was closer. That was when the problems started.

He got mixed up with the area boys. Before anyone could understand what was happening, he started coming to the street every weekend without even stopping by her house. One of the grandchildren spotted him in an unbelievable condition at the popular Ughelli guest house and told Mama.

She went to look for him and saw him herself. She alerted his mother. They bundled him to the house. His mom came the next day, angry but calm enough to speak to him.

She went with him back to Warri, cooked for him, washed his clothes and begged him to do better. He promised, but he was already addicted. All the money she sent went into drugs. He eventually stopped going to school and did not even write exams.

His mom took him to rehab, and started another school process for him at the state University in Ozoro. He did not meet the cut off mark. She took him back to Bayelsa and asked him to learn a skill. He refused and just stayed home.

Later, she was transferred to Benin. She took him with her, but he always found a way to sneak back to Ughelli. Mama said the day I saw him was likely one of the days he ran back to Ughelli.

I asked if he was currently in town. She said if I had come earlier that day, I would have seen him. His mother had just taken him back to Benin again.

Mama shook her head and said, “That my fine boy just dey waste. I don tell anybody wey get pikin for this area make dem comot. Once all these small ones grow small, I go tell their papa make he come carry them. Another pikin no go spoil for my hand. Na this area I take born almost all my children and none of them misbehave like this. When dem ready marry, dem marry. But the thing wey dey waka for here now wey make children no dey hear word, I no know.”

I told Mama it was alright. God would help her and I will include the boy in my prayers.

She thanked me and said if I ever saw her outside and she failed to recognize me, I should introduce myself again.

And that was how everything went.

Baby girl.... How far na ?

Longest time...

How your side. ?